About a year passed, after that incident. One day, I got a call from mom. “What is it again mom? We only spoke in the morning …” Before I could complete, she was already screaming. “Ratna has performed really well in her boards. She is the school topper. I am so happy …” I smiled. She continued her rants. Finally, she cut the call. I grabbed my wallet and headed to the market to buy a gift for Ratna. I was happy for her. She is indeed a studious and intelligent girl. {How is she now? I didn’t see her since that day. What should I buy for her? Will she accept my gift?}

Ultimately I ended up buying her favourite chocolates, because I was sure that she could never say ‘no’ to a chocolate.

I reached home, the next noon since once again, my vacations had started. After freshening up, I headed to Ratna’s home, with the chocolates. Aunty opened the door.

“Krishna!” She hugged me and I smiled. “How are you? How are your studies going on? See, how lean you have become … are you not eating well? …” She bombarded me with all such questions.

“Give him some space to breathe. He is drowning in your questions.” Uncle mocked aunty and she just shrugged. I laughed. “I heard that Ratna has topped in her boards.” My eyes started searching for her. {Why hasn’t she come down yet? Is she still angry with me?}

“Yes! She worked really hard for that.” I saw pride in their eyes. “So where is our nerd? I came all the way to congratulate her, and she is not to be seen.” I joked. 

“Actually, she is at her grandparents’ home. She went there for vacations.” They replied, looking slightly uneasy. “Oh!” That’s all I could say. After a long pause, I handed the chocolates to aunty. “Please give these to her aunty. And tell her that I am proud of her.” I got up to leave.

“Wait! Have some coffee with us.” She headed towards kitchen. “Umm … no aunty. I just finished my lunch. Maybe sometime later.” I came back home and lazed around in my room, with videogames and music.

But something was nagging in the back of my mind. {Was I disappointed that I was not able to meet her? But that is what I wanted. I did not want to face her, in the first place. But then, why am I feeling like this?} I pushed all those thoughts to the back of my head and dozed off. I spent my whole vacations in the same way, lazily. 

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2 years passed. Not a single word with Ratna, or about her. Not once have I seen her, in this span. Every time, I used to visit home for vacations; she used to be at her grandparents’ home.
“Krishna! Ratna has scored 90% in her +2 boards.” My mother screamed in phone, one day. “Ok … ok mom! Don’t tear my ear drums with your voice.” I tried to calm her down.

“And by the way, why do you become so excited with her achievements? You never used to create so much of fuss when I achieve something.” I blurted out.

“Someone is jealous …” She stretched the last word in her classic annoying style. I rolled my eyes. “Nothing like that.” I tried to cover up. “I am your mother, mister! And I know my son really well.” {Why does she have to be so bossy?}

“When are your vacations starting?”

“This Friday.”

“Come home soon, will be waiting for you. And don’t forget to call Ratna and congratulate her.” She cut the call without even waiting for my reply!

I started feeling nervous for 2 reasons- One: I am literally phobic towards telephone conversations, being a typical introvert. Two: After that day, when she fainted, I never spoke to her … might be like in … past 3 and half years. So … yes; I am nervous. But I decided to follow my mother's order, because it seemed to me a better option, compared to surviving my mother’s nagging and grumbling about how I disobey her.

Reluctantly, I picked my phone and called Ratna, after 6 long rings, a chirpy voice answered the call. “Hello?” 

“Hi Ratna!”

A long pause.

“Congratulations!” I said again, fed up of waiting for her reply.

“Thanks!” The voice was no more cheerful. It sounded hoarse, like she was holding back grief. I cut the call, not being able to handle the situation anymore. {Does my voice alone make her sad? If that is the case, what is the point in causing unnecessary grief to her? Isn’t it better that I maintain distance from her? I cannot bear to see her in sorrow.}

I threw the phone on my bed, grabbed my jerkin and walked out of the room, banging the door behind me. I wandered aimlessly on the moonlit streets, resting occasionally under the trees, when I felt breathless. But all the while, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. {What is she doing to herself? Why is my stupid heart holding me responsible for her sorrow? What do I feel for her? What is she to me? Why does her silence irritate me? Why do I want to tease her all the time? And why do I want to be the one who wipes her tears when she cries?}

I thrusted my throbbing head into my palms. {Ratna! You are one little crazy idiot. Why did you enter my life? Why did you make me want to care for you? Why are you punishing me for the crime I never committed? Why do you make me feel like a monster?}

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