Once I reached hostel, days started flying like seconds. Campus selections and internships kept me busy day and night. Exams were also approaching. In a few months, I would get my degree. So I obviously had to work hard!

The next time I headed home, it was with a good news that I got a job and what’s more … it was in my hometown! I have finally kept my word to mom.

“So … what next?” Uncle asked me one Sunday evening when we were all having coffee in the garden. It has already been one week since I joined the job and I am loving it. The job brought in me the sense of responsibility.

“Umm … nothing planned yet uncle ... But exactly what do you mean by plans?” I replied.

He laughed at my confusion. “I mean … you have settled in life right … so …” {Oh! Now I know where this is leading to.}  “umm … did you get interested in any girl or something like … you know … commitment.”

Pin-drop silence. Everybody’s eyes were on me.

“No … nothing like that.” I shrugged.

“No … don’t hesitate. Let us know if you have anything running in your mind. We can help you out.” Dad assured me.

“Dad! I never had time for all that.” I saw relief in everyone’s face. To avoid further conversation, I headed towards swing. It was and always will be my favourite place. I had lots of my childhood and recent memories attached to it.

After a while, Ratna approached. But the moment she found me there, she turned around to go away.

“Hey! Why are you running away?”

She turned back. “I thought … you needed privacy.”

“No … I was just enjoying the sun set. Come have a seat.” I patted the empty space beside me on the swing. She sat down. Light breeze was ruffling her fringes.

“How did that happen?” I asked, pointing towards the scar that I noticed on her forehead.

“Oh this … it happened that day when I fainted here.” She said in a low voice, gently feeling the scar with her fingers.

“Oh …” I did not know what to say further. That day resurfaced from the depth of my memories.

“How silly was I then.” She said after a long pause. I looked at her. But her eyes were fixed at the sky. “I must have troubled you a lot. I am sorry.”

I realised that she did not have the courage to look at me. “No need of sorry. You were too young to think clearly in such matters. Blame your hormones, not yourself. As I told, it was just attraction. And attraction never lasts forever.”

“You are right. Attraction never lasts longer. I had been attracted to many people. One look at them and I used to literally drool at them. But the moment they disappeared from before my eyes, I totally forgot about them. Now I don’t even remember any of their faces. You call this attraction?” Her dark eyes penetrated my eyes. I nodded. She sighed.

“I wanted to grab their attention. I wanted them to find me beautiful. I wanted to impress them with my behaviour. I wanted to appear flawless and perfect in their eyes. This is attraction right?” I nodded again.

“Are you sure?” She questioned. I frowned. {What is trying to tell me?} But nevertheless, I nodded again. She sighed heavily. There was a long silence. But this time, the suspense was killing me. I was thankful to god, when she finally opened her mouth.

“Unfortunately, I don’t feel any of those when I think of you.” She looked directly into my eyes, her eyes holding intense emotions.

“I find you good looking, but not hot, or drool worthy. Instead, I find you cute, like a child; innocent and pure. I don’t want you to think of me as attractive. I don’t want to impress you. I don’t want to appear perfect. I want you to think of me as crazy or insane or silly.”

“What?”

“Yes, I want you think that I am crazy. I want my craziness to bring a smile on your face.” I smiled involuntarily. {That is what I think of her … Crazy, wild, silly, clumsy …}

She smiled satisfactorily. “While I want everyone, to see my strengths, I want you to know my weakness. I want every single creature in this universe to see my bright and good side. But I am willing to show my ugly side to you … You know why?”

“Why?” I was surprised at my instant reaction. But don’t blame me. I was just curious. She chuckled.

“I know very well that no one except you, has the capability to bear with my madness. That is why I see you as …”

“Ratna!” Her mother’s voice interrupted her. “Ratna. You have a call from your friend. She says it is urgent.” Ratna gave one glance towards me and left. I stayed there for a while and moved into home. I went straight to my room and laid down on my back, staring at the ceiling. Mom called me for dinner, which was silent. I finished it and came back to my room. Something was pricking me deep inside. After confirming that sleep won’t embrace me anytime soon; I decided to spend some time star gazing.

I went to my balcony. Involuntarily, my eyes moved in the direction of her room. The curtains were drawn. My mind travelled back in time, when we used to pass secret messages to each other through paper planes, while standing in our respective balconies. Those days were amazing. I kept gazing towards her room.

***************************

Ratna is convinced that it is not attraction. Then what is it?

What do you feel?

Will Krishna also accept her logic?