From "Angst" to "Abridged"

So, my sister Karina really likes writing, and she's writing a story about orphans. I was on the Google Docs containing the story, and she messed up a word. Since I could edit and watch her edit as well, I was trying to correct it, but she kept purposefully messing up the word. This turned into a bunch of "DragonBall Z Abridged" quotes and weird side conversations about who won the reference battle. Here we go! :


"LET ME GO!" he caterwauled, thrashing against Eamon's grip. The Home operative gritted his teeth as Cerin kicked the small nightstand and sent it flying. He couldn't do anything with his arms, pinned to his sides as they were. "PLEASE, I'M SORRY! PLEASE! Please... Please..." He broke down sobbing. Eamon slackened his grip as Cerin's body went limp. His head fell forward onto his chesWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT????????????? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... No. st Are you going to keep doing that as long as I attempt to correct you?Stop purposefully messing up the word! Is this just to tick me off Yes.


What are you doing? What am I doing? Thwarting my plans? Thwarting your plans? ARE YOU? ...Yes. I'M GONNA F*CKING KILL YOU!


I need an adult. I am an adult.


SENZU BEAN!


Jealous of my super saiyan swagger?


Are you that Freezer guy? I am LORD Freeza. Yes. Awesome! I'm gonaa deck y in the shnozz!


I'M GOKU. I'M INSANE. FROM EARTH!

...

He means... Saiyan...


MUFFIN BUTTON!!!!!


I'm about to blow my load all over your insides.

What?

No homo. *intense blasting noises*


SO, why are you telling me this?

Because you are the last remaining

Saiyan, Oh god you're the last remaining Saiyan.


Hey, Vegeta, are you okay?

I have a F*CKING HOLE IN MY CHEST. WHy didn't you block that one?!

I thought you had it....

NOOOOOOOOOO


Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?

You're the one hitting me!


Oh, I get it... If it wasn't for Freezer you wouldn't be--

Dying? No.

I was gonna say evil...

Oh no, I would definitely still be evil. If our positions were reversed this conversation would have never happened. You would be dead, and I would be laughing. HAHAH oh, it hurts to laugh.


Saved you again, best buddy!

Okay that it! Killing you both! BIG BANG ATTACK!


Hey Vegeta we're friends right?

F*ck off.

The best.


He keeps punching me in the dick... Why? WHy does he keep punching me in the dick?


I'll be sure to give Freezer one for you best buddy!

Oh, come on now. I'm sure he's in a better place now. Oh, who am I kidding, he's probably in hell.

I don't know. I've been to Hell once, and the only bad thing were these two oiled up German men trying to wrestle me.

Are you real?


Oh look! He's concerned for you Vageta! You managed to make a friend!

Hate you... hate you both.


Just... Just transform damn you...Thanks!



What do you think of my third form?

I think Ridely Scott's going to sue someone

Whatever do you mean... LET ME TOUCH YOUR SKIN!

Ugh!


I am... literally dying...

"I thought to become a super saiyan you had to be pure of heart? Like my dad!"

There are other ways...

"I WANNA BE A SUPER SAIYAN! I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA


Goku, what's your favorite food?

Favorite?

HE'S BACK!


Comeback: You are short and you're hair line is receeding.


*screaming in distance*

Trunks: Dad?


WHAT'S UP GUYS?

I'm never gonna get my hoagie.

:)


I HAVE TO PEE! Jesus, I overslept. It's already night. For the first time since I landed here. On a planet with three suns... ... ... OH YOU MOTHER F*CCCCCCCKKKKKKKKEEEEEERRRRRSSSSSS


Ok, now that I have a DragonBall, all I have to do is not go around yelling---

"I HAVE A DRAGONBALL!!!!!!!"

Well, I was going to say "Come get me, Freeza" but that works too!


Why? Why did he kick me in the dick?

Not so funny is it now Kakarott?

Is Goku gonna be okay?

Man, get the f*ck off me!


Heal me, little green.

Oh, well, I would, but I'm tto distracted by the smell of my people's blood on your hands.

Oh No. Do not be that guy right now!

Oh, I am going to be that guy right now.

Heal me. Okay. But say my name first.

Uhhh...

You don't even know my name

Wait... yes I do. It's uhh.. Little Green?

HAHA no. It's Dende. Say "Dende."

Dende...

Now say "Please heal me Dende."

Please heal me Dende...

Oh well, since you asked so nicely... *flies off*

No. Come back.. magic .. green...man.


Four references in the time it took you to type that. You give up?

No. It's long is all. Plus I can't type fast. At least I thought of it! Four. Four references. I WANNA TAKE A SHOWER, GINA. Then go take a shower! I'm not going to stop you! I HAVE TO SHOWER IN VICTORY, CHILD. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!?!?!?!?I AM THE REFERENCE QUEEN! I WANT THE VICTORY OVER THIS REFERENCE BATTLE! I AM THE WINNER! I just need you to confirm this fact. I wasn't aware that this was a battle.

Shall we call it a draw then? Well, I suck so.. You can have the title! My queen. *bows* :)

A DRAW IT IS THEN. I just said that you won, and you want to call it a draw? In my experience, it doesn't work like that.

Pretty sure there is a saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth, you know. Yeah, but this is about dragons, not horses.

-_-

:) <3 You silly. Why, thank you. *bows again* Want me to leave so you can take a shower?


Okay, all I need to do is not fly around yelling--- "Come to daddy you bald bastard!"

Well, I was going to say "Come get me, Freeza" but that works too!


Oh, well if it isn't Moe Howard.

How did you--?

Space Hulu

Figures.


How 'bout we play a game. Ever heard of paintball?

Yeah...

Remove the 't'.

I don't get-- OH I GET IT


Vageta NO!

Vageta NO!

Vageta NO!

Don't worry! we have little green... oh.

Vageta NO!

Meh.


Okay stay with me now. I need you to almost kill me.

Almost kill you?

Almost kill me.

And there will be no repercussions?

I will not punch you.

Oddly specific.


And NOBODY F*CKS WITH THE WHITE MAGE!

*white mage gets f*cked up*


Yeah, I don't know what happened either. I'm concerned. Well, back to watching nerdy British Youtubers!

          -Matsukitty

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