Whumptober Day Four: "do you trust me?" | taken hostage | pushed

[Harley Quinn & Harleen Quinzel]

-!!!-

   When she looked back at it, Harley realized that Harleen had no proper death date.

Perhaps she was dying, little by little, inch by inch, pushed and tumbling down the never-ending rabbit hole of insanity and love and lust. Harley hit the bottom, coming out as the Joker's perfect girl, as if she was born for the job. Somewhere along the rabbit hole, Harleen had let go, fading out to be trapped behind the pasty face of a henchwoman who had it worse than Batman and Catwoman. Except, after a horrible breakup and tubs full of mint choco-chip, she realized that it was not as it seems.

Harleen had tried to tell her that it was not her fault, but Harley knew better. She was not pushed into the lime green acid of Ace Chemicals, or into the black-and-red harlequin role. She had jumped, ready and waiting.

The only push she had was a single tap that sent her tumbling.

The night whipped around her, the rain coming down in sheets. She never wanted to come back to Gotham, but she had to know. Was she ever loved? Did the Joker ever love her back? Were they really a crazy, love-stricken, duo?

Like she always did, she jumped before she could think.

Stupid, she realized when the wind whizzed around her, the last few moments playing before her eyes, Harley Quinn, you are the dumbest person I have ever met.

She never checked to see if there was blood in the water, drawing the sharks. She never checked if there was an ending to her rabbit hole. She never checked to see if the fall was her end. She jumped, because her eyes were upturned, and she didn't even notice.

She didn't notice until she was being pushed overboard, chum in raging ocean.

There were arms around her waist, saving her from her seemingly endless freefall.

She fell because she was pushed.

She pushed her Puddin' too hard, pushed the limits of being perfect, pushed the limits of who she was. She pushed everything till it snapped, tumbling down and down and down like a twirling ballerina amongst a sea of dominoes that just kept falling with no end in sight.

"Love is fake," Joker told her, and then she was falling.

Love is fake, but if it is, what was she feeling? Towards Ivy, Eggy, her gang of Harley's, Tony, Red Tool, and all her pets? What had she felt for the Joker, back when she was still tripping over her own two feet? What did she feel toward Bernie, who killed for her? Her parents? Brothers?

What was love if it was not real?

"What is love?" she repeated, feeling numb, clinging onto her saviour, "If it's not love, then what is it?"

Someone rubbed their rough hands up and down her arms, swaying side to side with the acrobat in their embrace as she bawled her eyes out like a baby, not bothering as mascara ran. "He didn't love me, did he?"

"I'm sorry, Harley," Nightwing soothed, rocking back and forth in an attempt to sooth the messy tears that streaked out of the woman's eyes, "I'm so, so sorry."

As the rain hammered to the ground, she realized that she was still falling down her little rabbit hole, away and away and away until the light was a measly pinprick. She fell, but she was never pushed.

No, she jumped and was now living with the consequences.

\0/

You can never go wrong with the classics!!!

I mean, What Is Love? is amazing (ly nostalgic... I blame my dad)