If I Was A Teenage Abomination

"Well, Hunter!" Eda said, elbowing him. "Did you ever think in your life you'd see something as breathtaking as this?"

Eda, Hunter and King were on a beach, standing in front of the remains of what looked to be a trash slug. It was covered in trash and muck, and flies audibly buzzed around it.

"If this is your idea of breathtaking, I don't want to know what you think is hideous." Hunter said, placing a hand on his mouth to stop himself from vomiting.

Eda walked towards the slug. "Yes, it doesn't get more inspiring than the trash slug. It makes a home, a life from what others have thrown from the wayside." She said, pulling a rubber chicken from the trash slug's mouth. "Until, blam, it gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt. And then we get to sell the stuff it ate."

She pulled out a pickaxe. Hunter almost gagged.

"I'm sorry, but I am not stepping anywhere near that thing." He said.

"Aw, come on, Hunter." King said sarcastically, stepping closer to the slug. "It's not everyday you get to pick apart a garbage carcass."

"And I am very glad that it isn't everyday." Hunter said, plugging his nose.

Eda rolled her eyes. "Welp, suit yourselves. I'm gonna get the good stuff." She said, swinging her pickaxe.

"So... Eda..." Hunter said. "When you said I was gonna be your pupil, and that you were gonna teach me some magic... well... where's the magic in this?"

"Patience, Hunter. Before you learn any spells you need to know the fine art of finding valuables in muck." Eda said, not looking up from what she was doing. "For example - a great witch is resourceful."

Hunter stepped closer, and Eda grabbed his hand and stuck it inside the puddle of trash slug bile. He closed his eyes and tried not to throw up. Eda dragged his hand out, and when Hunter opened his eyes, he saw a greasy slime ball in his hand.

"Oh... a greasy slime ball... how fun..." Hunter said with a gag.

"Use your slime ball wisely, young witch." Eda said. "Besides, all the spell stuff you're talking about sounds way too similar to magic schools. They force you to learn magic the 'proper' way, even when magic is wild and unpredictable. ...Anyway, enough of me ranting about magic schools. Back at it! We'll hit the stink nodes first."

"Uh... actually, I think I'll head back to the Owl House. I don't think I have the stomach for this lesson." Hunter said, pocketing the slime ball. Eda shrugged.

"Ah well. More for me!" She said.

+.*.+

Hunter sighed, walking through the forest. "When Eda said that I'd be learning magic, looting a corpse was not what I had in mind." He muttered to himself.

"You can do it! You can!"

Hunter looked up at hearing a girl's voice. He hid behind some bushes and peeked up, seeing a girl with short dark blue/green hair and glasses. She seemed to be wearing a uniform with pink sleeves and pants. He felt his cheeks heat up.

The girl paced around. "You can do it. Even if you get a bad grade, it's not a reflection of you as a witch. And my parents are right." She said, her pacing stopping. "There are better opportunities on this track. Now, get to school!" She said, taking a confident step forward, but she quickly backed away with a frown when she stepped on a flower.

"Oh no! Oh, little friend! I'm so sorry!" She said, kneeling beside it. She repeatedly traced a spell circle, and the flower perked back up in a full bloom.

A wagon, being moved by magic, rolled to a stop in front of the girl, carrying a pot - and a girl with short, blunt light green hair sat on it, reading a book. She looked away from it and noticed the girl.

"Willow! Wow." She hopped off the pot and onto the ground. "You're so unnoticeable I almost rolled into ya." She said, with a mean chuckle.

The girl, now named Willow, stood up - and the flower on the floor wilted again. "Hi, Amity."

"Uh, shouldn't you get to class early to prep your..." Amity said, just as Willow's pot rolled over and spilled a weird, goopy purple substance on the ground.

"Oh, Willow. You don't have anything to show, do you?" She said, with fake sympathy. Willow pulled up her hood, blushing with embarrassment.

Hunter glowered at Amity from the bushes. Willow seemed like she was trying her best. Amity sighed.

"This is why people call you 'Half-A-Witch Willow'." She said. Amity's pot rattled. "Oh, looks like someone wants to say something to you."

She took the cover off her pot. "Abomination, rise." She said with a snap of her fingers.

Purple goop lifted from Amity's pot, growing solid enough to form a humanoid. It bent forward to draw a star on Willow's forehead, leaving behind a trail of goop.

"You're... a star." The abomination said in its weird goopy voice.

"Aw, it's like mine. But much smaller and meaningless." She said, adjusting her star badge labelled 'Top Student'. "As top student, it's my duty to tell you to keep at it. "

Amity put an arm around Willow. "Even you could get a passing grade some day. Abomination, cower." Amity's abomination returned back into its liquid goop state, back inside Amity's pot. She replaced the pot lid and took hold of the wagon.

"See you in class, superstar." She said, walking away with her wagon. Willow removes her hood. Hunter continues his glower at Amity until she's out of sight.

"'Oh, see you in class, superstar!' I hate it when she does that." Willow said, mocking Amity as she wiped off the star on her forehead. "I hate making abominations. I hate getting bad grades. Ugh! I can't stand this anymore!"

Her eyes glowed green, and a bunch of vines burst out of the ground. They surrounded Willow, glowing and writhing angrily. One of them grabbed Hunter's ankle, and he yelped as it dropped him in front of Willow.

Willow frowned when she saw him, and her eyes stopped glowing. She leaned forward worriedly, letting the vines fall back to the ground.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I'm so sorry!" Willow said, extending a hand. Hunter took it, his ears going a little red. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The thorns only went through a few layers of skin." Hunter said, rubbing his leg. Willow looked him up and down, confused.

"Why aren't you wearing the Hexside uniform?" Willow asked.

"Oh, um, I don't go to Hexside." He said. Hexside's probably the name of the magic school nearby, he thought.

"Really? But you look around my age." Willow said.

"Well... long story short, I was raised in the human realm and wound myself in the Boiling Isles. I've only been here a few days, so..." Hunter explained.

"Raised in the human realm...?" Willow asked. "Wow! My friend loves human stuff - you and him are gonna have a blast! How'd you get there, by the way?"

Suddenly, distant screaming was heard in the distance.

"Oh, sorry, I have to go disappoint my teacher. It was nice to meet you." Willow said, walking away with a wave.

"Wait!" Hunter said. Willow turned. "Um, I'm Hunter. And your name's Willow? That plant magic you did was really cool - you're good at it."

Willow blushed. "Thanks, but... I'm not even supposed to be doing plant magic. My parents enrolled me in the abomination track at school."

"Couldn't there be a way to convince them that you want to do plant magic?" Hunter asked. Willow sighed.

"I tried, but they say that the abomination track has more opportunities for me." Willow said.

"Maybe if you show the school that you're better at plant magic than abominations, the school could help convince your parents to switch your track?" Hunter asked.

Willow looked to the floor, thinking for a bit, and then her eyes lit up and she beamed. "That's a great idea! Thank you so much!"

She looked back at the direction of her school, then back at Hunter. "I've gotta go. Thank you for the tip!" She walked away with her pot, waving at Hunter before disappearing among the trees.

+.*.+

After heading back to the Owl House, Hunter noticed King was feeding a trash slug (who was about Hunter's height at this point), and Eda was busy sitting outside in a lounge chair, sipping apple blood from her mug.

"Uh... what's going on?" Hunter asked.

"I'm going to beat Eda in a bet, and prove to her that I'm a better teacher!" King yelled, throwing another treat at the trash slug, who gobbled it up.

"Says you. You haven't beat me in a bet once. And I told you he'd come back." Eda said. "Who's the bad teacher now?"

"Just wait until my soldier destroys you!" King yelled.

Hunter just looked between the two of them as if watching a tennis match.

"I'm just gonna head inside and read." Hunter said, heading inside the Owl House.

"Nerd!" Eda called as Hunter headed upstairs.

+.*.+

Perusing through the bookshelf, Hunter found a book titled Hexside: A History. He flipped to the first page and began reading, fascinated. Apparently there were nine different tracks - Abomination Track, Plant Track, Beastkeeping Track, Oracle Track, Illusion Track, Healing Track, Potions Track, Construction Track and Bard Track.

Apparently it was a strict rule that students could only pick one track, because of the Emperor's Coven. However, there wasn't more on the covens and tracks, and the chapters continued talking about secrets within the school and different famous students who attended Hexside, and their accomplishments. Hunter found books in the Boiling Isles fascinating - their topics were really interesting.

While reading, though, he'd heard some crashes and screams that sounded like they came from King, but he'd been too busy reading to know what was going on.

Soon, he'd read almost a third of the thick book before looking and realizing the sun was about to set.

"Nerd! There are two twerps over here that wanna speak to you!" Eda called downstairs. Hunter quickly set aside the book and barrelled downstairs, wondering who it could be.

When he headed outside, he saw Willow and a small boy wearing the same uniform as Willow, except his sleeves and pants were light blue instead of the purple-pink that Willow wore.

"Hey Hunter! Your tip really helped me out!" Willow said, beaming. "Principal Bump saw my demonstration of plant magic and decided to switch me to the plant track!"

With a twirl and some green flashes, Willow's purple-pink sleeves and pants turned green.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Hunter said.

"By the way, this is Augustus - that friend I told you about! He's the president of the Human Appreciation Society. I'm sure he'd love to learn about the human world!" Willow said.

"Nice to meet you Augustus." Hunter said, extending a hand. Augustus shook it gleefully. "Is it alright if I just call you Gus? I had a classmate back in the human realm who was always called that."

Augustus gasped. "Gus? Nickname? Human nickname? Gus? Call me it. Wow. Gus. This is the best day of my life." He said with excitement.

"Hunter, are you thinking of enrolling at Hexside one day? The three of us could get more chances to hang out." Willow asked. Hunter looked at Eda.

Eda shrugged. "Think of your apprenticeship with me as extra tutorship. With my guidance, you'll become top of the class. Make sure everyone knows that Eda the Owl Lady is your mentor." She said. "But, I'm gonna need to convince Principal Bump to let you in... and you'll need at least two spells under your belt, or else you'll be in the baby class."

"So... is that a yes?" Hunter asked.

"It's an 'eventually'." Eda said, ruffled his hair.

"I can't wait until then! Do you have a pennstagram?" Gus asked.

"Uh... no. I don't know what that is..." Hunter said. Gus gasped.

"Eda the Owl Lady! You didn't give him a pennstagram! It is an essential!" Gus said.

"Fine, I'll get him one tomorrow." Eda said, rolling her eyes but grinning despite herself.

"See you!' Willow said, as she and Gus waved goodbye and walked away. Hunter waved back, smiling.

"Huh, didn't think you'd make friends that fast." Eda said. "You're quite the social butterfly, despite being a nerd."

"Just because I like reading doesn't mean I'm a nerd!" Hunter retorted. "...But by the way, while I was reading I heard some crashes and screaming? What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing - all you need to know is that King's name is now Mr. Wiggles." Eda said.

"I - okay then...?"


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