10:44am Tuesday July 21st

I was completely surprised when I got the call from Seattle P.D. they made sure to stress that they weren't even sure if the woman they found was my mom. Apparently, someone fitting her description, and who also is an addict, was last seen in Oroville, WA, which was about a five-hour drive from Seattle. Of course, Sean offered to take me, and I felt...guilty. I offered to rent a car and he wouldn't have it. He made a point that, since we were together now "officially", that we were a team and we we're going to rely on each other more in situations like this.

I knew where he was coming from and he was right. Especially after last night, there was no trying to pretend our feelings for each other were anything other than deep. Last night introduced me to so many things I never knew. I had no idea that sharing your body like that, with someone you really trusted, was almost like a high.

As I watched him now, I suddenly got that same hot, lustful sensation I had last night. He was standing across from me in his hotel room. He just zipped and buttoned his jeans, still not wearing a shirt. He had his back to me and that tattoo on his shoulder held had me in a trance. I watched while it shifted over his muscles as he leaned forward to grab a shirt.

As if he sensed my eyes on him, he turned towards me with a sinful smile. He held my stare as he walked towards me. "You shouldn't look at me like that, beautiful."

As he got closer to me, thinking became almost impossible. What did he say, again? Oh, right... "Look at you like what?" I knew how my voice sounded and so did he.

"Like you've seen me naked...and liked it." I noticed his voice got deeper when he was hungry for me.

I couldn't keep my mouth from forming a sultry smile of my own as he slid his arms around my waist. Like they had a mind of their own, my hands landed on his shoulders. "I can say the same about you."

He buried his face in the hollow of my neck. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me as he started a trail of kisses to my ear before he whispered, "Oh, I have seen you naked. And I very much liked what I saw."

His lips met mine and I pulled away before I got lost to his kiss. "Sean, we don't have time to--"

When he slid his hand up my shirt and cupped my breast, my mind went blank.

"You were saying?" He asked with a knowing look.

Unable to think about anything but him, I let him lead me to the bed.

Orville Police Department
4:35pm

After our delay at the hotel, we finally arrived at the police department in Orville. I didn't regret the intimate hour that set us behind. I actually spent most of the car ride thinking about it. We still hadn't done the actual act of sex yet, and I was starting to really give it some thought. I wanted to know what it felt like to be with someone that way. No, I wanted to know what it felt like to be with him that way.

"Ma'am, please follow me," the police officer said.

He was leading us to the holding cells in the back. Apparently, there was a woman who got arrested two nights ago for drugs and solicitation. She fit my mom's description, but didn't have ID, wouldn't give up her name, and nothing came up when they ran her prints.

Sean grabbed my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze as we approached the cell. My heart rate felt like it tripled as the officer stopped in front of the last cell on the right. He grabbed his baton and banged it against the bars.

"Hey, Sunshine. Wake up!"

I squeezed Sean's hand harder as the woman started to move around. She clearly appeared like she was living on the street. Her hair didn't look like it had been washed, her clothes were torn and filthy. When she finally looked up, I studied her face and her bloodshot eyes.

A ragged breath escaped me as Sean asked, "Is that her?"

I couldn't speak, couldn't think. I found myself shaking my had no. Because it wasn't her. I honestly thought this would be her. Sean had told me repeatedly not to get my hopes up and I told him I wouldn't. But, right now in this moment, I felt...

I heard Sean's voice calling out for me as I fled the police station and started running.

"Lydia! Lydia, wait!"

I felt the tears streaming down my face, I was breathing hard as I kept running. Two minutes later, I felt a familiar hand grab my arm, bringing me to a stop. I heard his hard breathing and knew he had been chasing after me.

I couldn't control my emotions. I felt his hands on my face as he wiped away the tears. I heard his voice as he spoke to me but I didn't understand what he was saying.

"Take a deep breath," he said and I barely heard it. "Look at me, Lydia."

I met his eyes and let out a long breath. "There. Now, take a deep breath."

I tried to take a deep in and out. I repeated this several times before I was able to speak. "I-- I thought I found her. I thought--"

My tears came harder now and he pulled me in a tight embrace. He held me close as he comforted me with his words and touch. I hadn't realized how much I wanted to find her...until I saw that the woman in the cell wasn't her. Even though she did and said horrible things to me, I felt like I needed this to move on with my life. To find closure.

Sean's voice came through the darkness in my mind. "It's okay, I got you."

"I thought I found her, Sean."

After Sean was able to get me to calm down, we made the long drive back to Seattle. Most of the ride was spent in silence. Not awkward or uncomfortable. Just...quiet. It was nice to feel his touch on the way back. He either held my hand or stroked my thigh.

One way or another, I needed to find my mom. I had so many questions to ask her. So many things to say to her. Most of all, I needed to know what secret she held back from me. I had my guesses as to what it could be. Sean has asked me a few times about it and I didn't tell him. I couldn't say my fears out loud.

I was sitting in my hotel room now. I told Sean when we got back that I wanted some time to myself. I took a long hot shower, hoping it would help, and it did a little. I was sitting on the balcony attached to my room and looking out over the city. When we first got to Seattle, I made sure my father was still in prison. I didn't have a reason to believe he wasn't...I just needed the reassurance. One thing I could not handle was seeing that man.

I thought about Sean for a moment. If I had went alone to check this lead, like I originally offered, I don't know what I would have done. I don't know if I would have returned to the hotel, or kept running, or just...went somewhere else.

I heard a knock on his hotel room door and knew it was the food he ordered for us. I didn't even bother insisting that I pay for it. I could barely think clearly about anything. Three minutes later, I heard the hesitant knock on our adjoining door.

"Come in."

Sean came inside and set my food on the table. "I brought your food. Do you need anything?"

I got up from my chair and walked over to where he was standing. "Thank you, for the food."

He was quiet for a moment before starting back for his room. I reached out and caught his hand. I didn't miss the surprised expression.

"Under normal circumstances, I would be dealing with this alone. Probably in an unhealthy way," I explained to him. "All this is new to me. I'm not used to having someone to rely on. Someone who-- cares about me." I let out a long breath before I looked at my food. "Will you eat with me?"

"Of course, I will," he said before disappearing into his room and getting his meal.

We put on a movie as we ate in my room. We talked about nothing in particular. It took a lot for me to tell him what I did and I think he knew it, too. When we finished eating, he collected the empty food containers and sat the trash outside the hotel room door. He came over to give me a light kiss before pulling away with a smile.

"Good night, Lydia."

He went into his room and I heard the shower turn on. I asked him for space and he was giving it to me. Funny thing was, the more space he gave me, the more I wanted to go back to him. I waited until about ten minutes after his shower was finished before I found myself standing outside the adjoining door with my hand on the knob.

Taking a deep breath, I turned it and stepped inside. He was laying in bed and his room was pitch dark.

"Lydia?" He called. "You okay?"

How do I say this? I thought to myself. "Can I sleep here tonight? With you?" Nice, Lydia. You sound like an idiot.

"Of course, you can," he said, and I heard the ruffle of the blankets.

I walked over and climbed into the bed next to him, and got under the covers. I stretched out beside him and laid my head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and stroked my hair lightly, placing a kiss to my head.

As I laid there and drifted off to sleep...I never felt safer.