I apologize
to the walls,
to my dog,
to my neighbors.
This morning
I rolled over to your text
and screamed
like a mother losing her child.
I too lost my world.
I did not sleep
like a baby last night.
I knew this would be the text I'd wake up to
but like a person who suffers
from chronic nightmares
I closed my eyelids
like hands praying
for a dream.
I walked around the apartment
because the world still needs me
even if you don't.
I haven't worn makeup
(for any other reason but to see you)
in weeks
but today
I dress my eyelashes in black
and hope it distracts my coworkers
from my puffy eyelids.
My lips are swollen
from me repeatedly
pressing them together.
The way they used to look
after you'd kiss me.