I am upset you want to spend another date at my apartment. That you're not holding my hand while we wait in line, putting your hand in my pants pocket as we walk. That you're not sitting across the table smiling at while we joke at the menu as if we're not ordering the same thing we always do.
Because the first time I was the girlfriend in the dark, my boyfriend used me for sex. Backseats of cars in empty parking lots while the truck played his favorite playlist. And how I can't listen to songs I used to love anymore because someone made love to my body but not to me.
Because last time I was the girlfriend in the dark, the boy I loved was showing off another girl in the light. She was introduced to his family under the sun. And I unknowingly waited for him on our couch to come home and leave the next day.
Because I'm so afraid I'm going to be your little secret in the night. That this time, you're going to use me in a different way than I've been used before.