Barry had moved out of the West home. He couldn't look his family in the eye and tell them the woman he asked to marry told him no. He found an apartment in northeast Central City. He knew he was unable to work with his friends on missions, but he wasn't about to let that stop him from helping the city.

He called Kara at least five times a day to be greeted by her friendly answering machine. "Hey Kara," he called without tone. "It's me again. I just- I miss hearing your voice, your laugh. Whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry. Were we moving too quickly? I need you to tell me, or I won't be able to change. Please, Kara. I'm going to be at the reunion tomorrow. Call me back."

He sighed. If she didn't start talking to him soon he knew he'd crack. If calling her wasn't doing the trick, then he would find a way to meet her.

-

Kara was sitting on her couch with a bag of potato chips, surrounded by old take out boxes of pot stickers. She took a few personal days at work and couldn't help but want to take a few more. She was always thinking about Barry and how she said no to his proposal no matter how many episodes of Friends she watched.

She felt like Rachel leaving her Barry at the altar, except Kara had good reason. It wasn't that she just stopped loving him, it was because she couldn't love him.

She loved him and wanted to be with him for the rest of her life, but how? Would she move to CC or he move to NC? Even if they moved to the other's city, what would happen to their own? Would they take care of the big stuff and weekends? It just wasn't possible.

But she got too close. Too attached. Every time she saw him it was like she fell in love with him all over again. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing she had ever done, and she hoped to never have to do it again.

Every once in a while, she'd turn the news on and see a report on the Flash saving the day, and not five minutes later did she get a new voice mail from him. It physically hurt her to listen to them, but she had to. If she didn't she knew she'd regret it and just listen to it later.

"Knocketty knock knock," Alex opened her apartment door. She stepped over the trash and onto her sister's couch, swiftly wrapping her arms around her. "Are you doing any better?"

"No," Kara frowned. "Yes? I don't know."

"That's okay," Alex rubbed her shoulder. "Are you going to your high school reunion tomorrow?"

"You're just full of questions, aren't you."
"It'd fine if you don't want to. You don't have to go."
"I know, it's just... I want to see all of my friends, but Barry..."

"I know," Alex hugged her. "It's all going to be okay. You know what, get dressed, we're going shopping.

-

Caitlin was concerned to sat the least. There had to be some way to find Barry. They didn't know where Barry was, they didn't know why he was gone, and they didn't know how he just dropped off the map like that. And Caitlin hated not knowing.

They only had a vague idea of where he was, but that was a fifty mile radius. And Cisco was busy mourning with Joe and everyone else Caitlin knew.

They say people grieve in different ways, but she tried not to grieve at all. She tried to keep her mind occupied with other things. Such as finding Barry, who seemed to be trying to mourn alone.

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense; Barry just wanted to be alone in his fragile state. It wasn't the worst thing for him to be doing, however it wasn't a very good thing for him to be going through alone.

If he truly was grieving, then any trigger could set him spiraling into depression. Although, he was still doing his job as the Flash, so what was she so worried about?

Perhaps he liked to grieve alone and distracted. Maybe there was nothing to be worried about. Maybe everything would turn out for the better.

That was a lot of maybes.

-

Kara cautiously walked into Jitters wearing a paisley colored sundress, not unlike another one she owned. The yellow one which she also enjoyed wearing, always gave her a real sense of confidence. And yet, right then, she felt very insecure. These people were her friends, right?

Nearly everyone was there, and they kept coming in

  "Hey, look, it's Marley," Ryder opened his arms with the greeting.

  "Hey," Kara pulled him into a side hug. "It been so long, how have you been doing?"

  "Alright, but I gotta tell you I'm still kinda sore after things ended with my wife."

  "Oh, I'm so sorry," she gave him the head tilt. "I'm going through something similar. Do you want to talk about it?"

  "No, but I'd like to hear more about your similar experience," he cocked his eyebrows.

  "Oh, it's nothing. Things just didn't end amicably with my ex boyfriend."

  Just then she saw Barry's head pop through the door.

  "I'm sorry," she looked back at Ryder. "Can I get back to you." She kept shifting her weight to see Barry behind his head.

  "Um, yeah, sure," he furrowed his eyebrows. He glanced to his right and left a few times, not understanding what she kept looking at.

  She marched over to the door and took Barry by the arm. From there she fled them into a nearby supply closet.

  "What do you think you're doing here," she wacked him in the back of the head. "This is my high school reunion and if they see you, you are dead. They still have a lot of beef with you."

  He couldn't help but notice her sinserious tone. "I'm sorry, but when you break up with me for no reason and then dodge my calls-"

  "That means we're broken up."

  "No," he corrected. "That means I had to find out where your reunion would be so I could just talk to you."

  Right after he said that a Jitters worker opened the door and jumped in shock. "What are you two doing in-"

  "Out," they both shouted in unison.

  She closed the door and backed away. Weird. Were they... no.

  "Kara, I need you to tell me why you broke up with me. I already tried proposing, and we all know how that worked out," Barry gave her a weak smile.

  She sighed in exasperation. "Barry..."

  "No. Please talk to me. You're- you are the only person I trust." He reached for and took her hand. "I still love you."

  "No, Barry, you don't get it," she pulled her hand away quickly. "I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you. I broke up with you because I couldn't love you. I love you too, but what about our cities? What about the people we love. If we took the next step into marriage we would need to live together."

  "No we wouldn't," Barry reached for her again but didn't try to make contact.

  "Yes we would. How would we have kids? How would we start a life together if we're still in some long distance relationship? If we got married hundreds of thousands of lives would be at stake."

  "Then we don't get married."

  "Then where would our relationship be going? If one crazy meta or- or alien attacks one of our cities, who will be there to stop it?"

  "We will," he cried. "We both have superspeed, if someone attacks, we'll be there."

  "But at what cost? Where will we be if we're always running away, because we certainly won't be together."

  She paused for a minute, waiting for Barry to interject again. But he didn't. He just stared at her with the same tearful eyes she had. He only took four steps forward to feel her incomparable lips against his. He pulled away in a sob.

  "Rao, I love you," she held his face in her hands, "but being together means our happiness is the misery of everyone else. That's why we can't be together."

  She turned to the door and hovered her hand over the knob.

  "Kara..," he said in vain. "Please."

  She could feel a single tear fall onto her foundation. "Goodbye Barry." She turned the copper doorknob and tried not to hear his pleads.

  "Kara. Kara!"

  Her head hung low on her neck as she touched the calligraphic letter "B" necklace through her crossed arms.

  Barry's shouting caught the attention of several of the McKinley men. When he stepped out a few feet was when their attention was really caught.

  "Is that Sebastian," one of them whispered.

  "Yikes," another one whispered. "What'd Marley do to break him like this?"

  The whisperers kept going, but it didn't bother Barry. He was already crying. He tried to put on a tough look when he was younger, but now they see him for the real him. The broken him.

  The truth was he had always been broken. The small cracks on the surface, he could hide. But when he gets broken, it takes more then a lot to build him back up. That's why he hides his feelings. Because when he's broken, he can't just stand up on his two feet, he needs his friends and family.

  He relies on people too much. He relied on Kara too much. Kara wasn't people to him; she was the love of his life, and he would get her back, just not now.

-

  "Barry," Caitlin shook her head. "Where on earth did you go?"

  She felt a gust of wind make her hair blow into her face. She didn't even have to move it from her eyes to know what happened.

  She ran over to him and wrapped her arms as tightly as she could around his chest. Her head lay over his heart instinctively and she listened to his heartbeat, counting.

  "Barry," she didn't move a muscle, "why did you leave?" Caitlin knew the answer.

  "Because," he squeezed her back, "I proposed to Kara."

  "Really," she smiled and pulled away, forgetting about her strife.

  "And she said no."

  Her face immediately fell. "Oh my word, Barry I'm... I'm so sorry." She wrapped her fingers around his shoulder, letting her hand fall down his arm. She didn't know the answer.

  "I just- I miss her so much, Caitlin," he sobbed. "She- she told me we couldn't be together. Because we would have to abandon our cities."

  Caitlin understood where Kara was coming from, but she couldn't help but feel almost sorry for Barry.

  "Do you want to know what the worst part is," his shook his head. She didn't want to know. "I still love her."

  "Oh, Barry," she pulled him into another hug. "Oh, Barry."

   Didn't have any words left that would make him feel any better. In fact, she was angry. She trusted Kara. He trusted Kara. They all trusted and liked Kara. And she betrayed him. If she didn't want them to go farther in their relationship, then where did she think they were heading? It was infuriating. If only she could give her a piece of her mind.

  "I can't believe all of this is happening to you. I mean, first with iris and now Kara," she sighed.

  "Wait," he paused and pushed away, "what about iris?"

  "Oh. Oh no," Caitlin's eyes grew. She put a hand against her mouth. She couldn't tell him. Why did she have to be put in this position. "iris... oh... no. I can't. No I can't. I can't, I can't."

  "You can't what," his hand began trembling. "Caitlin, what happened with iris," he asked again, more seriously.

  "I can't tell you that iris... passed away."