I rushed out of the classroom right after that fearful of what was there. I didn't want to run but it's what I did best as I ran down the halls out to the courtyard and down to the balcony lake. I dropped to my knees and pulled my legs to my chest as images flashed through my head. It wasn't bad enough I have to see the dead but he just had to appear and die all over again in front of me.

"It's ok, I'm sorry" he said as he sat beside me

"Danny your dead, and it's my fault" I snapped

"I don't blame you" he said gently

"I do, if I hadn't gotten close then you wouldn't have died" I sniffled

"You can't stop fate darling" he said sadly

I turned to face him anger in my eyes as my hands sparked with chaos magic.

"Breath y/n" he warned

"Fuck you, I don't want to calm down it was my fault you were there that day, my fault you found out my secrets and now your dead because of me" I growled

"Control" he said

"Go to hell" I shouted and he disappeared causing me to drop back down and cry

Danny was my closest friend he knew about me being a witch because he was one himself. But that wasn't the issue I had snuck out one day to see him but changed my mind having lettered him I had something to handle. He knew better and he followed me I was hurting that day and I was shifting into my form but I wasn't in control. I had struggled with the animagus spell and it turned me into something else somehow someway and I rarely had control over it then. But he found me tried to help and I ripped him apart before shifting back and covered in his blood as I held his dead body in my arms. I loved him and he was dead because of a stupid spell I tried to do in order to help my father through full moons.

We weren't alone that day either a man was there and he killed him further and cursed me that day. Cursed me to be different I had a curse that made me not able to heal right even with a spell or potion. It also made it difficult to have children and I hated myself because I knew if I have my soulmate they won't want me without being able to have kids. I myself weren't meant to be born as it is but to know I can't have children or heal well was tragic for me. I don't know how long I was outside for when Theo approached me and sat down beside me while Matteo sat on the other side of me.

"You don't have to talk about it" Matteo began

"But we want to help" Theo added

"I killed him" I said emotionless

"It can't be your fault y/n" Matteo said

"I was trying to help my father through something and turned myself into an animagus but the spell didn't go as planned and it turned me into a monster, Danny was there trying to calm me and help me but I shifted and killed him" I said sadly

"That still doesn't make it your fault" Theo said

We sat there in silence for a moment before my father rushed out towards us.

"May I speak with miss lupin/black alone for a moment" he asked

The two boys hugged me before walking a distance away but stayed just in case for whatever reason.

"Dad I" I began

"Made a fool of yourself, I taught you to be quick with your magic, to be skilled not just for me to have you demonstrate and fail in front of the students" he hissed

"What that's what this is about, not the fact of what I saw? Your not here to comfort me," I hissed

"Why would I confront you" he growled

"You know what I'm tired of this, since the moment we came here you've been obsessed with knowing harry and not caring about me" I said

"Harry's important he didn't get to know his parents" he snapped

"So I'm not important to you?" I said shocked

"Me and your mother weren't meant to have you, it was a slip up, a simple mistake and now, I know why it was such a stupid idea to have you because your in Slytherin and I bet you believe their notions too just as your uncle regulus did" he snapped

Hurt was one word but heartbroken was another and that's how I felt right now. I was heartbroken that my own father called me a mistake and feared that if he felt this way did mother feel the same as him. If that's true why did they have me at all? Why did they keep me even? Just to raise me and disappear on me or bring me down. It wasn't fair and I tried to walk away but he grabbed me roughly and I wasn't having it at all.