*listen to the songs*

https://youtu.be/NbQ5GYW9Mow

CHAPTER FOUR: 
THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

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"There are people who are worth the risk you take."

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UNLIKE THE DIVINE, THERE WAS ANOTHER ETERNAL BEING THAT ROAMED THE EARTH WHEN A MORTAL IS IN DIRE NEED. Its name was Seraph. Seraph created all the things found in the universe. Contrary to their names, they had opposite purposes with the Divine. Though none of them are exactly Evil, Seraph is found to be more likable than the Divine. For today, Seraph's main target was (Your Name) (Last Name), a mortal who had been crying over the past few hours. "I wonder what kind of problem she has that she's spending the last 48 hours of her life crying..." Seraph said worriedly as his formed changed into what seemed to be a doctor's clothing.

Hurriedly knocking on the door and twisting the knob open, the being was greeted with nothing but a crying figure on the bed and a Death waiting on the corner, terrified. "What happened?" It asked the Death that was staring at the female with scared eyes. "She tried to stab me with a butter knife..." The Death explained while raising his arms as she hissed at him again, her eyes locking on to the new figure. "Who are you?" She pouted, the butter knife still in her hands. "I'll fricking stab you!" Seraph only let out a quiet chuckle, fixing the lab coat. "I'm Seraph, I am the creator of all the things you see and don't see."

Her grip on the butter knife loosened as she placed it back down on the tray on her lap. Her (hair color) locks barely covered her hair now and her (eye color) orbs looked down, an apology escaped her small pale lips. "It's alright. I understand that you're afraid..." Seraph spoke up as he took the tray from her lap and placing it on the bedside table. "That's why I'm here to help you. The Divine called me and told me that the other Death assigned to you wanted to give you his chance of reincarnation..." The female's eyes widened as she looked up to the figure beside her. "He...did?"

In all honesty, it felt surreal to (your name) and somehow, it still does not sink in. Why was it harder to accept things now that she's face to face with Life and Death itself? She felt her throat tightened as she tried to balance things out in her mind, soothing it with the feeling of her brother's comforting words. If Touya was on the other side, she wouldn't need this reincarnation chance. Why would Dabi even waste it on someone who only realized to love her life at this moment?

"Yes, but the process cannot be done if you're still alive. I need your soul and that's only possible if you died but you won't remember any of this in your next—," Seraph was cut by the female's abrupt response. "I don't need it. Where is Dabi?" Her hands were now holding on to Seraph's lab coat, her tears threatening to fall once again. "I can't... take that..." The female let out a small whimper as she cried. "...He worked hard for that... I want to talk to him..." And maybe it was because Seraph loved Life a little better than the Divine that Seraph was granted the chance to walk the Earth unlike Divine; it was moments like these that the Seraph felt vulnerable and weak. It was moments like these that it wanted to reverse the creation of Death. "Why is it that you don't want it when it is given to you?"

"All this time, I w-wanted my life to end..." (Your name) continued as she wiped her tears with the palm of her hand. "...But D-Dabi... he showed me that I still mattered... and e-even though he's Death... he p-promised me..." Seraph managed to reach out to her shoulder, rubbing it lightly. "H-he can't b-break that... please h-help me..." The Seraph opened his mouth to speak but was once again cut off by her. "I want to see the closest thing that felt like my brother. Dabi is the only one I've got now..." She broke down into more tears as the being continued to rub her back, shooting a glance over the Death at the corner.

"Take me to the Divine..."

"B-but Seraph—!"

"Now."

――――

"ALRIGHT, DIVINE. WE NEED TO TALK."

Seraph entered the void which made the Divine jump up. "Ah sibling, you came to my dark void with... (your name)'s Death...?" The confused expression on the latter's face only made Seraph glare even more. "What did you do with her original taker? Hm?" The Divine let out a big gust of air, eyeing his brother from head to toe. "Is that why you're here? And I thought you were visiting me..." They placed a hand over their chest. "I'm hurt, Seraph." Seraph rolled his eyes as he clicked his tongue. "Cut the bullcrap, Divine. Come on, out with the truth."

"Why does it always matter to you how humans feel?"

"Because that's my job..." Seraph smiled. "You know that very well, don't you?"

The Divine turned around from the projector screen and into Seraph's golden eyes, his white ones duller than the glow coming from the latter. "And I fucking hate it. He sacrificed his chance to live again for... some girl!" The voice boomed around the void, causing it to shake a little bit. "Have you ever wondered why he would do so, Divine? You're so quick to make decisions that sometimes, you don't tend to look at how everything affects everything."

"I know that he's her brother but..."

"Not everyone is as selfish as you."

The Divine shot them with a mean look to which Seraph only laughed loudly. The grace Seraph's laugh brought painted the void with a bit of stars glowing at the darkest corners. "They're just like you and me—siblings. (Your name) deserves to know the truth and she deserves the chance to see him one last time. The deal is irreversible but closure from a past life makes it a lot easier for a soul to transcend." Seraph explained, bringing out a small gust of wind from his hand, forming a small golden dust human. "Life is a beautiful thing, is it not?"

"Life is not something you can just enjoy, Seraph," The being scowled at them, grabbing the small human from their hands and squishing it into dust again. "Sometimes, it gives you trials that you can no longer move away from... like Death." Seraph frowned sarcastically and looked at the Divine with his golden irises. "And that's why many are afraid of it... making your job a little bit harder than it should be." Seraph gave them a sly smile. "Afraid of you... afraid of them... But here you have, little miss (your name)..." Seraph formed a mist between them, showing her memories from the last few months before Dabi had come to give her the incentives before her death. "She was always ready to die and now, because of your little trick... she's afraid..."

"She learned the value of life..." The Divine looked away. "...All of them usually do when it's too late." Seraph offered their hand to the other being. "So, do you want to continue letting yourself be the bad guy? Can't you just at least give her this as a gift? I know you have a heart down there, Divine..." The Divine closed their eyes, inhaling deeply before giving a defeated sigh. For some reason, Seraph always finds ways to make the Divine guilty for their own bad decisions. "I hate you, Seraph..."

"I love you though."

On their way to the prison chambers, the Divine can't help but feel like something is wrong and that the guards were acting a bit strange. Seraph, on the other hand, lit up the place with some of their sparkling essences as it was too dark for the Death prisoners to be there. "Something is off..." The Divine spoke up as they finally reached where Dabi should be found, entering the cell to go get him. The guard watching over Dabi shirked his gaze as the two beings walked closer. "How's Dabi?" Seraph asked the guard with a smile but the guard only ended up shrinking over their presence. Before the guard could respond with the truth, the Divine's raging voice was overheard around the prison chambers as Seraph let out a laugh.

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" It shouted. "SERAPH! I WILL KILL YOU!"

"No, you can't..." Seraph winked as he showed a mist of Dabi running to wherever (your name) is. "And I'm not letting you out of there until Dabi is finished with his mission."

――――

https://youtu.be/dNTLk_6ngow

DABI'S LEGS WERE ACHING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE. He had been running for quite a while now, escaping from the guards of the prison chamber before bumping into Seraph who helped him escape. Now, he was running through the streets of Japan, trying to get to (your name)'s hospital. The female who had been waiting for anybody's return was shocked to see that the door opening did not reveal a Dabi or a Seraph or another Death. Instead, her eyes were widened to see her whole family was there and her mother was already in tears as well as her sister.

"W-what brings you here...?" her voice was shaky but it was obvious that she was going to end up crying again. Fuyumi ran to her, snaking her arms around the thinner sibling. "We... we don't w-want to end up n-not seeing you too!" Her older sister sobbed as she hugged (your name). Natsuo looked away, wiping his own tears. Shoto stood there, a frown plastered on his face. "Aren't you two g-going to join in...?" She asked as she gestured for the two of them to come over. (Your name) hugged the three of them tightly as they continued to cry, reminiscing small memories that they shared. From climbing up trees in their yard to picking up flowers whenever they go to the park—enjoyable ones before she got hospitalized for the first time.

Before Touya's death as well.

Rei walked closer to her daughter, bringing Enji along, the female tugging on his arm. Her parents walked near her bedside, asking her siblings to give them a bit of time too. The three stayed in one corner of the room, talking and crying to one another. "Mom, didn't I... ask for all of you not to show up...?" her voice was sad but at some point, appreciation for what they did was also there. "Honey..." Rei began but her eyes were already brimming with tears. "...The doctors told us about your worsening condition..." The tears that were now falling from her own eyes cannot be stopped as she let out a small chuckle. "I'm sorry, mom. I tried to fight but... you know, it's so painful..."

"And we always regret not being here for you, (your name)."

They say that people only realize your worth once you're dying or once you're already dead. But these people, the ones that followed what she had wished always thought of her even with her isolation. She thought that they would be happier if they'd never see her again but it was the exact opposite. The guilt that built up through the seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, and years that they hadn't shown up slowly ate their conscience.

"You are still our daughter..." Enji spoke up for what seemed like an endless silence that wrapped around him the moment he entered the hospital room. "And we still love you... you are family..." (Your name) could not help but sob at her father's words. After all this time, she had been too selfish for thinking that they do not care but they were hurting so much without her. "And I'm sure Touya is hurt about this too..." Rei added, the tension and sadness between them growing. "So, please... let us at least spend the rest of the hours you have with you..."

"...Please let us be your family again..."

And of course, a nod of approval was shown from her frail body. The rest of the day was spent with the family sharing stories and doing the things they should have done while she was still stronger. But she can't help but feel the missing piece still wasn't there. She knows they missed him too and soon enough, they will miss her and that's the only thing that's different this time—she doesn't know if she would miss them after the reincarnation process. Seraph has already told her about the conditions but she feels like she's not ready. "Hey, mom..." her voice was soft but Rei quickly looked back to raise her brows at her. "Yes, dear?"

"If I do get to live again, I hope I still have a family like us..."

――――

DABI STOPPED HIS TRACKS IN FRONT OF THE DOOR UPON HEARING TONS OF LAUGHTER AND VOICES INSIDE. He had activated his invisibility to get inside easily and his turquoise eyes stung as he watched his whole family getting together and enjoying the day—his name mentioned from time to time. That was the thing about dying though, people regret all the times they weren't able to spend with the ones they love. It may always seem like you had so much time; like there was enough. You'll just notice that one day, that all changes and all that time you spent thinking there were enough...disappears.

(Your name)'s gaze, however, could not stop looking over the spot where Dabi was standing, and the way she squints always made him think that she can see him. But when she looks away, with a confused yet hopeful glint in her eyes, he feels relieved that she can't. Watching his other siblings, he wished he could feel their warmth in a hug. He wanted them to know that he was there too—that he'd always want them as family.

And if he was given the chance, he would have wanted to repeat his life rather than forgetting all about it. He would have chosen to spend more time with each and every one.

"We'll be leaving now..."

One by one, they all hugged (your name) tightly because they know it would probably be their last time doing so. They didn't cry but the sadness churning around them felt too thick for fake laughs and smiles to cut it. "We really do love you..." was what her mother said to her. "...And if it helps, you can rest easy knowing that we'll be fine... but it won't be the same without you." Rei smiled at her, letting out a shaky breath as she hugged Rei tighter. Before they left, (your name) called out for them and they all turned around instantly.

"Thank you, everyone... I love you all!" she smiled. "Please come back tomorrow..."

https://youtu.be/XYYk3euqHv4

Dabi felt his heart crash upon seeing everything but the moment the last person walked out the door, he finally let himself be visible again and that shocked (your name) a lot. The silence that grasped the room was not comforting and it definitely was not thick tension. In fact, it was the type of silence that was confusing and the two just don't know what to say or who would speak first. "Hi..." she spoke first because she knows there wasn't much time—she doesn't have much time. "I missed you. Where'd you go?" Dabi felt a laugh erupt from his throat but the nervousness on his tone cannot stay hidden.

"In prison."

"I heard. Was it fun?" Dabi shook his head in disapproval. "No, it was terrible because... I couldn't see you and what kind of brother would I be if... I didn't keep my promise of being here, right?" He gulped as he walked closer to her bed and sitting on it. She smiled as tears started to form in her eyes but Dabi was quick enough to move closer and wipe them away with his thumbs. "Hey, no crying... you're not dying yet..."

"But I am though..." her pale lips moved downward with her gaze. "And I'm scared, Dabi..."

"You're scared now?" Dabi chuckled bitterly. "What happened?"

"You did..." She quietly whispered to him as Dabi cupped her cheek and moved her head to face his. Dabi hummed while he cocked his eyebrows, asking her to go on. "I was so sure I wanted to die but it's funny how people learn to live their lives before they die and they regret everything they didn't do when they were stronger—when they were more alive." (Your name) sniffled as she inhaled. "Life is so precious and yet here I am... I wasted it... I pushed people away because I was scared I'd hurt them... but I was still hurting them anyway."

"Go on, (your name). Tell me everything you feel." Dabi held her hand while she clutched on his tightly. "I was selfish for thinking that they'd be better off without me... and that it'd be better if I kept attachments at bay... but there's so much more to life that I'd miss and when Seraph told me you were going to give up your chance of living again for me... I felt... terrible."

"But I thought—," Dabi stopped his words as her tears were finally falling from her eyes, her head shaking side to side as she bit her lower lip. "I thought you were loving life now?" Dabi did not notice his own tears falling on the side of his face. The hospital room got quiet as the two continued to cry silently, tears just falling from their eyes. "But what about you...?" she asked. "You deserve the chance to live again too..."

"You can't just keep sacrificing yourself for me, Touya..."

Dabi's eyes widened and his mouth fell agape. His black hair started to turn red as golden particles started to swirl around him, changing his clothing to white. "W-what's..." he stuttered, confused as to what's happening. "Touya, Seraph told me everything... and I've been so blind... I've been so stupid not to realize it sooner..." her mouth twitched into a smile as she sobbed. "So, I asked him to make you stay with me even after I get reincarnated..."

Dabi felt his own sobs reaching his throat, mouthing a small 'what' as he reached out to hug the female. "Seraph..." she continued as she wrapped her arms around Dabi, resting her chin on his shoulder blade. "...Seraph's making you a guardian angel..." Dabi felt his heart lighten and his whole body warm up as he hugged her tighter. "And so are the other Deaths who were brave enough to sacrifice their chances..."

"Why would you do this, (your name)?"

"Because I love you..." she whispered before closing her eyes. "...I love you so much..."

WHEN (YOUR NAME) PASSED OUT THAT EVENING FROM TOO MUCH CRYING, DABI STAYED BY HER SIDE. He caressed her now balding head and watching a small soundless snore escape her mouth. The heart monitor beeped lightly as her chest rose up and down as she breathes. There was a part of him that wondered if everything happening right now is a joke and he's just waiting for the punch line. But who was he kidding? Life is always a running gag and sometimes, there are no punch lines—just punches to the gut. Truth be told, he wanted to stay like this with her, keep his hands on her hands, and protect her from all harm.

Because that's what guardian angels do, right?

They keep all the secrets of the universe until the secrets seep right through their skins and hurt their own bones. Because there are secrets these angels keep that make their jobs harder for them to protect people without hurting others around their protectee as well. And her death meant that she would hurt her friends, her family, herself, and of course, it hurts him. It hurts because after all of this—when her soul finally gets taken away by the Seraph, it's over—he had failed his job in protecting the ones who need him most. But then, he'd still continue guarding her; just from afar.

But at that time, he won't be seen. And at that time, he would finally do things right. He would be the brother you always wanted him to be—the one he needed to be before he died. For Dabi, the true secrets of the universe lie in between Life and Death. The secrets no one else would hear except the angels that continue to listen to you—the ones that stay awake at night watching you cry on your bed as you let out the feelings no one else has seen.

She was his guardian angel when he was alive.

And now, it's time for him to pay that back.

Because Death can change the course of nature; if it wishes to do so.