((i feel like this one was pretty borin and worse compared to the others and that now I'm just repeating myself, I'll try to be more creative in the next one!))

It felt like Osomatsu took forever in the shower, maybe he was in there longer than what an average shower time was supposed to be, however long that was. He felt greatful that no one decided to knock and left him alone; he wasn't sure if he'd be able to respond if they asked what was taking so long.

After drying himself with the towel the most he could, he dressed himself in the clothes they gave him. It felt odd to put on new clothes that were actually new and haven't been worn before. It was weird how perfectly it fit, although since he is a sextuplet, of course he would have a similar size to the others. Although the logo on the hoodie almost made him feel...branded. But the fact this was bought specifically for him gave him chills. He felt like he was dead for years and they waited for him to come back to life, which he did. Now he's a zombie that pretended to be the brother they lost, dressing in clothes meant for him and acting how they thought he would.

Although, that didn't mean he totally wasn't their brother and didn't genuinely care for them as one. The crying he did in the shower proved otherwise. If he truely didn't care, didn't feel guilty, or anything for that matter, he wouldn't feel like total shit and wouldn't care to control himself. If he didn't care, he would've left as soon as he woke up. But maybe, that also showed he cared. No, anything he could've done would show he cared for them, because they were always important. They were the reason he didn't lose all his sanity, that he tried to be close to a decent human being that felt bad for everything he's done. That he tried to convince himself that he was doing all of this for them, that he did whatever that man told him for years so he could finally gain his trust and let his guard down and take them back to Japan so he could end it where it all started. That he told himself he didn't enjoy everything he went through, that he hated it, hated himself, and would regret it.

But he knew better. Those were just lies. Things he told himself to justify everything he's done and how he felt. Really, he did enjoy it. He had so many times he could've called for help, that the man let his guard down and he could've ended this a lot more sooner, that he could've chose to run away or not cooperate at all and just die. But he didn't. There was no excuses, no justification.

Osomatsu shook his head, he shouldn't think of those things right now. The aftermath of a shower should be refreshing and a restart, not even more self-loathing thoughts.

Hesitantly, he looked at himself in the mirror again. He couldn't tell if he looked better or worse. His face was now clean so it was easier to see his pale like skin which was pinkish due to the hot water. His lips were dried and he had obvious bags under his eyes, both from lack of sleep and crying. His hair was still disheveled but looked neater when he tried to comb it with his fingers, maybe he can ask someone to fix it, who knows, maybe he'll look more like them. Now his facial hair was more obvious, he's definitely getting rid of it. The cut he thought wasn't so bad on his cheek might actually end up a scar. Great, after he tried so hard to keep his face spotless for years. His teeth were a whole new story. They weren't that bad, but stained with all the smoking he's done and lack of cleaning them for what, weeks? He's not sure whether the others paid attention to his teeth or didn't care, but is at least a little greatful that they never pointed it out. From now on he should really watch how much he smokes and try keep himself in better shape now that he has a better chance to.

Speaking of his teeth, he had to call Choromatsu for a toothbrush. It felt weird using what was inside the shower since it wasn't his, but he thought since they didn't say anything before it was okay. Now he just hoped the toothbrush was an extra. But how was he going to call him? Would he just look for him or call out his name?

Osomatsu opened the door to see what could've been the best option to almost jump out of his skin as he saw Choromatsu was already waiting in the hallway, sitting down just a few feet away from the door. Not creepy at all.

When Choromatsu notice the door open he turned around and scrambled up to his feet. "A-Ah, I see you're done with your shower Osomatsu-nii-...san" He paused when he noticed Osomatsu was wearing the clothes they gave him, the clothes meant only for Osomatsu.

This was him. Standing there with the red hoodie that Choromatsu never thought he'd see be worn. It fit him so well, it looked so right to see him wear it. When they were kids, they all wore the same clothes and same color, hardly anyone could tell all 6 apart. When they each chose their color it felt so weird to have something different, it felt wrong that they left the similarity their older brother loved because, he was them and they were him. Now they could be similar and different. They had the same face, the same hoodie but different colors that defined them. Red really was his color. Choromatsu almost felt himself about to tear up and cry, but he's already done so much crying, he didn't want to make Osomatsu feel uncomfortable in those clothes or in general just because he cried at the sight of him. He had to make Osomatsu feel safe and comfortable, feel as close to normal as possible and not treat him like some endangered species that they all feared would go instinct and cry at the sight of him knowing this fact. So he wouldn't let those tears fall, he wouldn't dare get emotional over what he was wearing. This was...

...his eldest brother, Osomatsu, afterall. This was what he was supposed to wear.

This was him. Their eldest brother they lost years ago that they hoped would return. The one they cried for who knows how many times or how many years. Their red charismatic leader who they all looked up to. Someone who they couldn't have posibily guessed how he'd grow up, what he'd turn into. But his love for his brothers was still there and he loved it. He loved that they waited for him, hoped that he'd come back, and still see and treat him as their older brother. He loved being their older brother with pride and seriousness, as if it was a job meant only for him that only he could do and was perfect at it. A boy in red with a plastered grin that used to plan schemes and lead the 'untameable' sextuplets, who now was supposed to be their supporting older brother who they could go to, who was responsible and knew everything they didn't, who was observant and good at plotting and had tact, who was their role model. That was...

...Him. Osomatsu Matsuno. He might as well act like it.

"Yeah I'm done, I was just about to call ya for the toothbrush and whatnot but you're already here."

"Right, here it is!" Choromatsu picked up what looked like a grocery bag and held it out for Osomatsu to take it. "Here. I guessed since you didn't deny my offer about a toothbrush that you needed one so I bought one since we didn't have extras, but also thought if you didn't have a toothbrush you probably didn't have other things so uh, I got you other stuff you might need." He tried to sound as composed as he could but was satisfied with himself on how convincing it might've sounded.

Osomatsu took the bag and looked through it. There was a toothbrush as he said, but also had toothpaste, a razer, shaving cream, cologne, gum, and mints. He really must've thought a lot about this considering how much he got. There was mixed feelings on the gum and mints though, unsure if he was indirectly telling him "your breath smells like shit do something about it" or if he was trying to be friendly. The best guess was the latter, possibly both really.

"Thanks a lot Choromatsu, you were right to guess I didn't have any of this!" Osomatsu then got closer to Choromatsu and ruffled his hair, making the younger's cheeks to warm up. "I have such a thoughtful younger brother~ Man am I lucky, heh!"

Choromatsu found himself chuckling as well, getting rid of any tension and worry he had. This was a nice feeling, a feeling he'd like to get used to. "If- If you think so Osomatsu-niisan. By the way, once you're done Karamatsu already set up for our breakfast slash lunch and the younger three are awake too, so we'll be waiting." Choromatsu waited a bit before deciding to leave in case Osomatsu had something to say like last time.

"Alright then, I'll just finish up here and see ya there!"

Taking this as his cue, Choromatsu nodded his head and turned towards the kitchen. This was going to be it, their first whatever this was with their missing piece, they were going to be whole again. The official start of his brother's return, a new and complete life. Sure, it might take a while, but sooner or later he'd be comfortable and they'll really be brothers. He was observant and saw how Osomatsu reacted to certain things, he was really trying and was really convincing, but because Choromatsu never wanted anything to happen to him again because of his ignorance and lack of understanding his brother, he decided to become extra observant and look for any small tick, any small detail that could tell him anything. His physical features included. But he wasn't going to comment on anything he saw, on how tired and awful Osomatsu looked, or how his cheery tone sounded almost forced, he didn't want to scare him into thinking he was onto him in any way or make him more fearful and careful. So for now, he would try to use what he could figure out to his advantage when it came to ways he could help Osomatsu without him becoming suspicious.

Osomatsu saw Choromatsu off and headed back inside the bathroom. He opened everything except for the gum and mints and laid them out on the rim of the sink. First, he figured he should brush his teeth. This was more of an absent-minded routine as he opened his new toothbrush and toothpaste, applying the paste onto the brush and proceeded with brushing his teeth. Thankful while he brushed his teeth, his mind was empty and free of any thoughts at last. Maybe this was just the most familiar feeling to him, the only thing that didn't make him think too much because of how many times he's done it. As he finished and spat out the remaining paste in his mouth, he had to stop himself from throwing the toothbrush in the trash. Right, he was going to use this one for a while, it'd be bad if he threw it away.

Now was the shaving. Shaving wasn't something he was always trusted in doing alone, he could have an idea why, but not why someone would get that idea. That doesn't mean he's never shaved before, it just meant he was never shaved without supervision. Sounds pretty funny for a grown man to be surpervised while he shaved to not make an "accident", but hey, it happens. It happened to him ever since he grew facial hair.

Osomatsu looked at his reflection once more. This was another step he needed to do before turning to his "normal" self. He wasn't sure if he wanted to though, if he was ready to just try and throw away all the past years and start off fresh new. There was no way he could ever forget those years, they were practically half his life and happened in the most important and memorable years in someone's life. Besides, there is nothing that could ever make him forget something like that, what he's done with some remorse but no full regret. There was no way he could easily change nor forget anything that's happened to him, but he could always try. He could try to change, to be someone he'd be proud of and that Osomatsu would've wanted to be, the type of person he wished he'd grown up to if he had a normal life. Although now, his definition of normal is way different than the average person, so maybe he wants to live the dream life, the weird strange life he never got to experience.

So with current positive musing, without a second thought to regret or change his mind from letting his mind continue thinking, he picked up the razor, wet it, and shaved the first mark of his past, of the tiring weeks to walk and find his hometown, of the last months plotting his murder, of the last years doing crimes he hated because he enjoyed them and knew it was wrong.

The first mark of his freedom, of showing he accepted his brothers into this new chapter of his life.

But he still wasn't him.