((is it sad at this point I have no idea how things will flow into events or i have no exact end goal? It is huh- Sorry, my commentary on my own story defo aint neccassary))

As Osomatsu finally found an organized way to put all the letters back into the box and split them apart in some weird order only he understood, he finally put it away in his duffle bag that was in the chair next to him next to the photo album he promised himself to look through when he knew he wouldn't get inturrepted like he was earlier when Karamatsu came in. Actually, reminding himself of trying to keep things a secret, which was already failing at, he turned to Karamatsu who was cutting cucumbers.

As Osomatsu stared, he felt almost entranced as he watched him, more speficially the knife. How easy it seemed to him and the knife to cut right through them almost perfectly. It must've taken years to get so good at that. It must've taken a real sharp knife to cut the vegetable (fruit? It always confused him what it was) with such ease, percision, and so clean. How it sounded like a crunch each time a piece was cut and the knife hit the surface the vegetable was on and become a little wet on the vegetable's blood. Cucumbers were a little hard to cut through at times by how thick they can be, although the skin of it could easily be scratched, even with fingernails just like it does on normal skin. Now he wondered if that knife could cut other things with such cleaness and ease with familiarity like cutting the skin of someone's- 

"Osomatsu-niisan?"

Osomatsu blinked and slowly perked up to look at Karamatsu with a blank expression as his daze was broken and his thoughts cuts off. He seemed to have stopped cutting the cucumbers. It confused and unsettled Karamatsu to see Osomatsu staring towards his way, more specifically to what he was doing. Maybe he wanted to help or needed something but was too afraid to ask. But the face he was making, the far off expression told his gut otherwise. 

Ah, he had those thought again. That wasn't a good sign, he'd have to be more careful, but as his previous thoughts were cut off he remembered his main thought and goal.

"Say Karamatsu, can you promise me to not tell the others about the letters?"

His sounded almost serious but carried a carefree tone. Karamatsu would've asked why but he figured if his brothers reacted the same way he did when he found out he had the letter, he definitely didn't want that to happen. It almost made Karamatsu feel honored and make his heart warm. His only older brother just came back and already he's trust him to keep such a secret! There was no way he'd let him down!

"Of course brother. I promise, your secret is safe with me!" He said in a deep voice just to add to his own pride and dramatic effect.

As if on cue, and as Karamatsu had predicted would wake up next, Choromatsu opened the door, "What secret?" 

The older two looked at him, then at each other, and back at him. Osomatsu snickered, "It's a secret, we can't tell! It's how they work isn't it?" 

Annoyance but an almost pained feeling was starting to build up in Choromatsu at his remark, but he figured he shouldn't let it out or act on it. Besides, for it just being a couple hours and for Osomatsu to trust any of them enough to keep a secret is a huge step and almost like a victory, no matter who it was. He sighed and nodded his head, "Already making us keep secrets huh, Osomatsu-niisan? Don't start picking favorites already too," Well maybe, he could show his annoyance a little. Just a little.

Almost unexpectedly Osomatsu laughed. Karamatsu was already back to preparing food as Choromatsu went to sit besides Osomatsu, only to hesitate. He wasn't sure if it would be okay to do so because his bag was there and because he just wasn't sure if he could, if Osomatsu was comfortable with it. Seeing how Choromatsu hesitated, Osomatsu grabbed his bag in a gentle casual manner and held it to his chest , almost hugging it, as an invitation that it was okay for him to sit down, so he did. They looked at each other with awkward yet casual smiles. Osomatsu with his trademark grin and Choromatsu with a 'v' shaped smile. 

Osomatsu found that smile adorable. How could his little brother have such an adorable smile?! It almost reminded him of a frog. Speaking of a frog, they always looked squishy. What if he was like a frog? His nonsensical curiosity got the best of him as he found himself leaning closer to pinch Choromatu's cheeks and squished them. The action wasn't taken lightly as Osomatu's face as only a few centemeters away from Choromatsu and he didn't expect this physical contact, making his face heat up in embarrasment as he grabbed Osomatu's wrists to stop him and moved his head back to try and get more distance between them. 

"Don't- Don't you know what p-p-p-personal space is and asking if its-its okay to d-d-do something...?!" He shrieked but his voice was a little muffled and hard to understand.

As most of Osomatu's reactions, he couldn't help but let out an annoying chuckle as he grinned. It hasn't even been a full hour or two and he already managed to tease two of his brothers in embarrasment so fast?! He hasn't even exactly met met all them either, "I'm afraid I don't know what this 'personal space' thing is that you speak of, but is it okay to squish your cheeks~?" He breathed.

"Don't a-ask when you're already do-doing it! And get away your breath- no you stink! Get away!" Instead of trying to continue to pry his hands off, how he tried to push his face away now instead. It wasn't just an empty insult, Osomatsu really did smell bad. It was evident that he hasn't taken a shower or shown any sign that he has even washed himself at all because his skin was dirty and his hair looked greasy and disheveled with locks. The tape that kept the cloth like bandage on his cheek seemed to peel off, but he avoided to that cheek as he pushed him away from his face. He also really smelled like, for lack of a better term, the dumpster. Not only that but his breath smelled like literal feces.

It took minutes before Osomatsu finally let go and had a victorious laugh. Choromatsu put his hands on his cheeks, almost to shield them but then put it down when he realized how nothing would happen. Something about how he acted annoyed him, but it was also reassuring and comforting in a way at the fact he can easily act like this around them. So despite this being a victory for Osomatsu, it was another victory to Choromatsu that Osomatsu feels like he can act 'normal', whatever that was to him, and that he might be okay with physical contact. Sure yesterday was filled with hugs but it seemed to make Osomatsu confused and hesitant, not only that but sometimes he could feel his shudder and tense up but he still accepted them and even returned friendly and comforting jestures. Well maybe it was just reassuring that he was okay with physical contact that was more than hugs without freaking out or looking so uncomfortable like he usually did. None of them knew what Osomatsu has been through, so they don't know if anything they do could trigger something in him. Now that he thought about it, maybe Choromatsu was getting too comfortable and too quick, guilt was starting to bottle up by the way he spoke to his older brother and treated him. He'd have to apologize later.

Well, thats something he can figure out later, but for now he wasn't done. "I'm serious Osomatsu-niisan you stink and you look dirty, why not take a shower." It wasn't a question. "Besides, while you shower we can also clean your clothes and you might even feel refreshed." He smiled at him.

There he is again with that adorable smile. Although he couldn't exactly argue with Choromatsu. Being dirty or just dirt in general never really bothered him but it always bothered him. Even so, he still hardly gave him a chance to shower but still complained about it! Although this is probably one of the longest times he's gone without any type of anything to clean himself even a little, it started to feel nasty. His hoodie has also seen better days. Sure, that's one thing he remembered to clean the best he could before he - ran. But that doesn't exactly mean its currently comfortable in any way, it almost felt like it was part of his skin and was oddly warm, almost in a nasty way like when you sit on a warm seat.

Still, he wasn't sure how he felt just taking a shower in a house he still wasn't totally familiar or comfortable with, with his trust in his brothers still at a certain level that he wasn't sure if he trusted them enough with his bag without them looking through it or if they'd try anything. What if they called the cops or something? Maybe not to turn him in but whatever the reason they would come here for it would be bad for him. Or maybe they'd try to do something weird while he was inside. 

He shook his head at himself. He shouldn't think that way. He'd never get a chance at a shower again if he refused now. He'd just have to think of way to help him less paranoid about this. It's just a shower after all. 

When Osomatsu shook his head, Choromatsu felt maybe he didn't feel comfortable enough to take a shower here. Of course he isn't! He's moving too fast that now he's made him uncomfortable.He put his head down, how stupid could he be?! Maybe this really was just a bad idea-

"Sure."

Choromatsu perked up a little surprised. This is good, he wasn't moving too fast.

"Buuut..."

Nope, he was still moving fast. Osomatsu is even asking for conditions! 

"I'm going to need to borrow some clothes since I feel like just getting away from this stuffy hoodie for once. Oh! Also, the duffle bag is staying in the bathroom with me and I'll lock the door. I think that's pretty fair." He crossed his arms and nodded, already agreeing with himself.

It was, in fact, fair. Choromatsu could understand why he'd ask for that privacy, it was totally reasonable. 

Upon hearing Osomatsu say he needed to borrow clothes, Karamatsu turned to Osomatsu as he went to wipe his hands on his jeans and sit in front of Osomatsu. "No need to worry about the clothes! Once we got colors, all clothes we got were in sets of 6, one of each having our respective color. Of course since they were bought in 6 sets, there was always one extra that was red. In uh...hopes that you would return. So, that clothes is now yours to keep!" He seemed pleased with himself to say this, only faltering a bit.

They actually kept clothes for him? He wasn't sure whether to feel honored or just sad and pity them. They really thought he'd come back, that one day they'd find him. Or they just couldn't face the reality that he was gone and bought it in hopes to make it seem less obvious he was actually gone. Well whatever the reason, it might feel weird. It would be like wearing a dead persons clothes. Untouched and waiting for someone to wear them after having no one to. But he couldn't just reject it, clothes were clothes, and he didn't have any except for his worn out hoodie and jeans that had more rips than jean itself. Besides, they were bought just for him. 

"Alright then, just show the way."

Karamatsu was about to stand up and show him but Choromatsu beat him to it, already standing and motioning for Osomatsu to follow him as he also got out his seat, putting the straps of his bag on his shoulder. "Why don't you set up for uh, breakfast? Lunch? Whatever it is, and call the rest of our brothers, Karamatsu-niisan? Don't worry so much, I'm sure you've done plenty to help so go easy alright?" There was genuine concern in his voice. Karamatsu was always taking that extra step for all of them to seem useful, and he was, he just needed to learn when enough was enough for him and to meet his limit.

Choromatsu then led Osomatsu to the bathroom and told him to stay there as he fetched a towl and some clothes. The first thing Osomatsu noticed about it was it was red. A bright red at that. The second thing he noticed was the sign that Karamatsu's and Choromatu's sweater had in the middle. He wasn't sure exactly what it was supposed to be and looked like a green cloud. If he wasn't so distracted with other things, maybe he would've pointed it out and laughed about it, asking what it was really meant to be. Maybe he'll ask later. Osomatsu dropped his bag in a place he'd think would be safe from any steam or water and grabbed the clothes and towl.

"Once you're done and changed, call me and I'll give you a toothbrush and put your clothes to wash. That is uh... unless if you want to do that yourself of course!" 

"I'm alright, thanks Choromatsu. I'll call don't wory, I don't exactly know how the laundry works," he said sheepishly. 

"Alright then, guess I'll uh leave you to it then. Oh! And turning the knob in the shower to the right for hot water, while the other way is cold. So uh, enjoy your shower!" 

Choromatsu then bowed and excused himself, about to scurry off until Osomatsu grabbed him the wrist, making him stop in his tracks and slowly turn his head around.

"Wait! Uh- Just one more thing...promise you won't uh, call the police or anything...alright?"

Well that was, unexpected. He wasn't sure why Osomatsu would worry about such a thing or why he didn't want the police to know, maybe he was just scared. But what did he have to be afraid about? Well it wasn't like he was planning to or like the thought ever crossed his mind, but if it was bothering Osomatsu he could at least make him feel a little more at ease.

"I promise I won't. I'll tell the others as well if you want me to."

"Yeah, please...thanks again Choromatsu." 

And with that he let go of him and proceeded to close the bathroom door and lock it. That was strange, but he'll let it bother him some other time, right now he had to make sure the moment Osomatsu walked back out he'd feel comfortable with all of them and make sure he doesn't feel out of place!

The bathroom wasn't half bad, but pretty small for a house of 7. Or was it eight now? Six because their parents weren't here? He wasn't sure, but figured it was best not to get too into detail about it. He let out a heavy sigh to let out any nervousness or anything he held back now that he was alone. Finally alone. 

First he took a good look in the mirror. Maybe these were features other wouldn't have noticed because of his proclaimed dirty face, which really was dirty, if they didn't really pay too much attention to his face and detail. He was starting to grow small facial hair, but it simply looked like more dirty smudges. That's one thing he'd definitely have to fix. There was bags under his eyes considering the not so comfortable or warm places he's had to sleep in for weeks before getting here. When he removed the cloth like bandage, which the tape took off easily after loosing any stick, there was a dried up blood smudged on his face along with a cut that has almost fully healed. Despite everything he's been through for all these years, he has surprisingly managed to avoid any scars on his face, but other parts weren't so lucky. Speaking of which.

Next thing he did was take off his hoodie and threw it at the floor. His body looked beat up, big bruises on his sides and more on his back. There was cigarette burns on his arms, although not too low to be visible if he wore a sweater or long sleeves, from different times that were either very close or far apart in time from each other. He was skinny, not to the point that his skin completely outlines his bones, but it was almost there. Despite that, he still had some muscle so he didn't look totally punny. 

Despite his age and how many times he's prepared to shower, this is the first time he really looks at himself. Already, he couldn't stand to see himself anymore. Sure he had the same face and height as his brothers, but he was different. He was so much more different than any of them, he doesn't belong here. He'd done things he's sure they'd hate him for, fear him for, that won't ever let them see him the same way again or trust him. Things he's sure they'd instantly call the cops for and call him a monster, wanting to get away from his as far as possible and won't ever call him their brother or 'niisan' again, that they'd regret ever refering to him as such. Besides, his eyes were basically red, cold, and dull like that of a criminal, a killer, it was different from all of his younger brothers and anyone could tell, even someone who wasn't observant. Everything about Osomatsu was a lie, it was fake, different in the wrong ways.

He proceeded to take the rest of his clothes off before entering the tub. He didn't need these thoughts right now. This situation was already something he dreamt of for so long, he didn't need to ruin it with insecurities. Besides, who knew how long he'd stay before leaving, because there was no way he'd be able to stay here, that's just a dream.

Without thinking much, he turned the shower on and twisted the nob to the right for the heat. At first it was cold, it didn't seem to bother him except make him flinch at the contact at first. Then it started to get warmer and warmer. 

He knew his bruises were at a healing stage where they could have hot water applied to them despite how much it hurt. Even if it wasn't that time, the pain of the nearly burning water and how it hits his bruises distracts him from any further thoughts, bringing him back to reality, to the now, to what really can and can't happen.