I've searched, really, I have. I did the Travel To Foreign Places bit, the Philosophy bit, the Psychology bit, the New Age bit, the Searching Within bit, the Deep Hypnosis bit, the Star Sign bit (I found out Leos consider everything a birthright!) even the Fortune-Teller bit where I was told I'd be rich and famous... "one day". I never clarified whether she meant one day in the future, or just one day.

Here's the problem. You know how you see a rainbow and it's so damn close you think you're almost in it? So you drive a little further and you're still just outside of it. Drive a little further... same deal. You do it, even though you know how ridiculous it is... like trying to reach the horizon. You still do it though, because you want to know what it would be like, standing within that rainbow.

At the same time, someone else, further away from you sees the same rainbow. They wish the same thing. Only from their perspective, YOU are in the rainbow see! So you're chasing the thing that you're already in! (Took me a while to wrap my head around that notion!)

Looking for your self is kind of similar. You think the next attempt, the next approach will bring you closer. So you delve into whatever. You feel so close, just out of reach from your illusive self!

Never understanding you are there the whole time. Just like the rainbow, you are within, but you cannot see this within. You can only see the rainbow (and yourself) from without.

... Is your brain hurting now, because mine sure is! I started this with a very distinct point to make but then rainbows appeared so now I have no clue where I'm heading. And don't you dare say over the rainbow!

I guess I can never find myself because I am myself. And this self that I am is a phenomenon, an optical illusion. I cannot therefore physically approach myself because I will always be somewhere ahead. I think it was Alan Watts who said "...the nose can't scratch itself." (Is this even relevant?)

Have I given up trying? I don't think so, despite this most compelling (?) argument against further attempts.

Help me out here! Have you found yourself and if so, care to share?