five

Ashton carried a screaming baby in his arms as he plopped down on the outdoor seating across from his best friend. "She didn't want to wake up."

Luke cooed, "No, not even for me?" He reached out his hands, wiggling his lean fingers until Ashton handed the very tiny baby to the blonde.

Ana looked up at him, blinking her dark eyes a few time before quieting down. She closed her eyes once more, falling into a sleep in her not-really-Uncle's arms.

"She loves me," he said with pride.

Ashton rolled his eyes and start to dig into at the meal Luke already had ordered for the older man. "She loves everyone."

"Apparently not you." Luke held her closer, tracing her features with the soft fingertips of his index finger. "She looks so much like Calum, this is actually a little weird."

"The kiwi has strong genes," he responded with a mouth full of salad.

"You getting enough sleep?"

"I should be asking you that."

Suddenly, all the happiness that was radiating from Luke's pores seemed to drop at the mention of his situation. He wanted to pretend like everything was okay, like everything was normal.

Ashton has been his friend for almost a decade, so obviously the tanner man knew the entire story and more.

Luke shrugged. "I guess I'm doing fine. I haven't told Tab that Michael isn't coming home, yet."

"You probably should, L. You know she'll take it well, stop hiding everything from her."

He looked down at little Ana remembering when his own daughter was barely the size of his arms. It was already just Tab and Luke by that time. At eight months old, Tab was left with just one father.

"I'm angry with him and I don't want to take it out on her."

"But, you can't just hide up in your room. She's your pride, you need to be there for her." Ashton knew Luke well. He knew Luke was going to pick up Tab from school, make them an early dinner, then go upstairs. Ash would be surprised if Luke even ate dinner. He just went to their lonely bedroom and stayed there for the night curled up in his own body warmth. "Have you remained faithful or whatever all this time?"

"Of course," Luke responded without missing a beat. He picked up his own silverware, starting his own lunch without spilling on the sleeping baby in his arms.

He wished he could sleep like Ana—with hundreds of cars passing them along Time Square every minute yet not waking one up once.

"That takes effort."

"You'd never cheat on Calum. Just think about it, Ash, it really doesn't."

Ashton gave him a saddened look as he knew the next sentence falling from his vocal cords would break Luke's heart. "Okay, that's true, but Cal is right beside me every night. I can touch him and hear him and see him every second of every day."

The blonde shrugged. "I love him so much that it hurts."

"Is it frustrating?" The summer breeze blew Ashton's hair, keeping the golden strands from his golden eyes.

Luke let out a chuckle, "In every single sense you could think of it is frustrating. Very, very frustrating."

"You guys weren't doing too well before he got sentenced though, right?"

Luke watched Ana open her eyes once more. He watched her spot Luke, reaching her hands up to play with the collar of his shirt. He watched a giggle leave her little mouth. Life was beautiful.

"We weren't doing bad, per say, we just weren't good as we once were."

"He hasn't gotten violent with you again, right?" Ashton looked straight into the blue eyes of Luke, the blonde were sure Ash could see straight into his soul.

"No," he responded truthfully, "That was a long time ago."

"If he every lays a fucking hand on you again, you—."

Luke covered Ana's ears. "Don't ruin her virtue." He'd use any excuse to change the topic.

"Just saying, Mate."

"He'll be home next month instead of next week. It's not that bad. I've waited ten years for this. I'd rather take one extra month than five extra years."

Ashton cracked his fingers and grabbed his iced tea. "I'm proud of you."

He shrugged, pretending those words didn't feed to his ego. It felt good to finally make someone proud. "I think if Mike and I weren't married, I wouldn't have stayed." He rocked the baby in his arms back and forth, smiling every time she giggled.

Even though they were having a serious conversation, the baby in Luke's arms seemed to make the mood better.

"You would've gone home?"

"For sure. I miss Mom and Dad. Even my brothers."

Ash leant over the wire framed table, his elbows holding him up. He lowered his voice, not wanting the snoopy couple a table over to know too much. "Do you think you, like, regret running away so young?"

Luke shrugged his shoulders once more, he didn't like spilling out his feelings. "I just wish I waited a little longer, thought a little more." He chose his words carefully. "I love Tab and I love Michael, don't get me wrong. But, Mike and I needed to grow up a bit more—mentally."

Ashton nodded in agreement. "You stuck it out, though. That's more than a lot of people can say."

"I'm trying. Every day, I'm trying."