He takes a swig.

Cheap Vodka. 

Slap to the face. 

On my knees.

Another Swig.

Typical. 

A final blow to the stomach and I double over on myself, kneeling on the ground in shock. Even after all this time, it's a wonder my body reacts to the punches and kicks at all. You'd think I'd grow numb to it at some point.

But I don't. If I'm not physically numb at this point after all this time then there is no way I am ever going to make the shock go away, the pain. I'm not even emotionally numb. I plead almost every time for him to stop, thinking that maybe one day the desperate tone in my voice will reach a part of him. 

But it doesn't. In fact, I get punished more when I speak up. I get punched harder, slapped with even less remorse, if that's possible. 

Today, I'm getting my punishment. The one that he'd been threatening me with since last Friday, since the party... since Keith. 

It's been roughly four days since I've been home. Well, since my father has seen me in the house. I snuck through my window to get my school bag but I wasn't about to try and sleep in there. So in other words, it's Tuesday. Four days that I've failed to talk to Keith. I could text him... but I don't think that would be a good idea at the moment. I'm planning to draw my blinds when the beating is over so I can cut off as much communication as possible. 

I'm trying to protect him, protect him from all of this, protect him from me... and removing myself from his life is the best way I can think of ensuring his safety. 

Our terms are tolerable right now. They aren't exactly good but they aren't like they would be if I never talked to him. 

Why now? Why wasn't I beaten earlier? Is that what everyone's thinking? Well... I've been trying to keep my promise. I was working most of the time and when I wasn't on my shift then I was just trying to keep busy. Since I've been working extra shifts recently, I learned that Hunk also works at the coffeehouse and we got to hang out during our shifts which was comforting. Hunk always had that effect on people when we were younger. 

When the nights hit, I kinda slept on the park bench a few blocks away from the house. I've been eating though, which is what Keith wanted. I don't know why he cares so much, but if he's willing to stop cutting in exchange, then I'll try to keep up my end of the deal best I can. 

Allura gave me a bunch of leftover watermelon from her garden, the last of the watermelon for the year. She said she wasn't gonna need it and just handed it over. Watermelon is apparently a really good fruit to start eating if you have eaten little to no food in a long period of time. It's mostly water so it goes down easier and your body doesn't have to work as hard to break it down. 

Plus it's watermelon and it's delicious. God, I missed food. I'm not gonna lie, but I can't jump right to junk food for numerous reasons. One of those reasons being that I'd end up being exactly what my father thinks I am. I'm not ready for that shame. I've thrown up the first few helpings, but today I was able to keep it down.

Eventually I had to come back home, I spent fours days without a shower and my body was begging for me to take care of my hygiene. Everyone at school probably was too. I snuck through my window and slept on my floor last night to keep my sheets clean, showered this morning and prepared for school. I didn't make it our the door though. 

It's Tuesday, and my punishment is still a mystery but, knowing my father, it's bound to be brutal. 

"¡Levántate, perezosa excusa para un hijo!" (ET: Stand up you lazy excuse for a son)

He pushes me towards the living room and throws me to the floor. I scramble to get my bearings but he kicks me again to keep me in place, and quiet no doubt. He turns towards the mantle and starts eyeing the paddle. My eyes go wide, but before I can even think of the words to plead with he picks it up from the rack it was perched upon. 

It's beyond me why we have this in the house, and it's been a while since he's used it on me. He only uses it when he thinks he actually has a cause for hitting me. I already know where this is going, and although I'm not proud of it I'd rather this be the punishment than something more... permanent.

With the paddle in hand he stomps over to me, grabbing me by the throat so abruptly that I didn't see it coming. He launches my body into the couch and I immediately crawl off and kneel in front of it, ass held high, to avoid any more unwarranted violence. 

The only thing that could make this more humiliating is if he told me to pull my pants down, to make it more painful. Luckily, he's never asked so I've never mentioned it, and this time is no different.

"Count." He growls through grit teeth, taking an unnecessarily large gulp from the bottle. The first blow is always the harshest. I could practically hear the paddle ripping though the air as it came full force onto me. 

"One." I flinch. Again.

"Two." Again. "T... three." And again. "F... fo... four." 

><><><><><><><

"Tell me what happened!" Pidge asks from their seat in the courtyard. I roll my eyes for the umpteenth time this morning and answer with a firm, "No."

"Come on! Keeeeeeith!" Pidge pleads, their green apple Slurpee forgotten in its puddle of condensation. "It's none of your business!" 

"What's none of Pidge's business?" Hunk walks up, taking his seat on the stone bench with two coffees in hand and a poppyseed bagel. He hands one of the cups to me and I nod in appreciation, taking a slow sip of the caffeinated beverage. Pidge perks up at Hunk's question and practically throws themself on top of him. "Keith still won't tell me about his little sexcapade with Lance on Friday!" They whine and I practically choke on my coffee. 

"W... what?!" Pidge looks at me, evil glint shimmering from their eyes, across the grass and into my soul. "Ewww... Pidge we don't need to know about that!" Hunk grimaces. I know he's not trying to be rude or anything. I mean he's so pure and I'd rather not talk to him about my sex life... not! that I had sex with Lance! God no! He hates me... well... the idea of being with me. 

"We didn't have sex!" I yell a bit too loudly. A few people look in our direction and Pidge smirks at me. I facepalm, realizing just how much of an idiot I am for playing right into Pidge's grubby little fingers. "We just...talked." I mumble, rubbing my arm a little, a blush probably blooming on my once pale cheeks. 

"You talked? Or you talked~" Pidge inquired with wiggling brows, and I'm not lying when I say I'd never want to hurt a child but I'm on the verge of strangling them. Hunk blushed madly at the question and turned the other direction, probably trying to tune us out. Again, I don't blame him. 

"We. used. our. mouths. to. communicate!" I said slowly so Pidge would get the message and leave me alone. I didn't realize how suggestive that sounded until Pidge snorted in their hands. At that moment I just wanted to hurl myself into the sun. 

"Oh I know you did. I was there for that part. I meant after you two left my house." Pidge remarks, being sassy as ever. I take a sip of my coffee, trying to give my hands something to take their minds off of throttling the gremlin across from me. "You're twisting my words." I mutter, most of my mouth submerged in the black coffee. 

Pidge looks just behind me, a grin slaps itself right where Pidge's mouth should be and before I can even turn around, they bound excitedly towards something. I whip my head around and the color drains from my face (if that's even possible) at the realization that Pidge is headed for someone, and that someone is Lance. 

I scramble to my feet in an attempt to rush after them, and luckily I catch up to them just in time to cover their mouth before they can utter a word to Lance. He looks surprised, and rightfully confused, but he doesn't seem all to happy to see us... something seems off about him. 

I try my hardest to redirect my attention to the task at hand. "Pidge." I warn but they lick my hand. I pull it away from their mouth in horror. "AH! Your germs are all over me!" Pidge laughs and fixes their glasses as I hold my hand dramatically like it had just been severed. 

"Good. Maybe my DNA will make you smarter." I send a glare to the back of Pidge's head that definitely bore straight to their brain, but they ignore it. "So Lance..." Pidge says a little too sweet, standing on their toes and leaning in closer to him. 

"Umm... Hey?" Lance rubs the back of his neck nervously, an off-smile plastered on his slightly flushed latino face. It looks just like the ones he wore on the first day of school, but now they just don't seem right. He does look really good today though, to the naked eye at least. 

He's sporting his signature green jacket, dark blue jeans and a pair of off-white converse (in contrast to the maroon converse that I'm currently wearing). He looks amazing as usual but I've always known he was hot, I mean look at him! He's like the hotter, high school version of Andy Black. They might not look anything alike but I'd power bottom the shit out of both of them, so Lance definitely passes in that category. 

He's always been attractive. I've always known that. I'm not blind but before he just acted like the stereotypical popular jock. Granted, I was in a relationship most of high school so I didn't pay much attention to Lance, but a lot of his popular buddies liked to fuck around with me and he never did much to stop it before. Bottom line is he's always been physically attractive, obviously, it's just now I'm kinda attracted to all of him. 

I've only begun scratching the surface of who Lance McClain really is and it's somewhat thrilling, scary, but thrilling nonetheless. I've gotten to know a little more about him, gotten a little closer than others have and from my personal experiences with him I can safely assume something's wrong. Something about how he's holding himself today just doesn't look right to me. The glint in his eyes, I've caught only a few times, seems extinguished and his smile seems a little more forced. 

I might just be reading too much into it though, apparently I tend to do that a lot. He leans back in place to keep a distance between him and Pidge, which looks pretty funny, before Pidge cuts the crap and throws their filter into the void. 

"Ok I'm gonna be blunt here-" Pidge starts and all I can do is groan. "Don't you dare-" but before I can even finish my warning, Pidge is whacking Lance with the unfiltered garbage I've been forced to listen to for the past five days. 

"Did you and Keith fuck?" If Lance was drinking anything, he would have just won the world record for best spit take. He basically choked on his saliva, coughing and hitting his chest to get his heart started again.

"Ummm..." Lance's eyes swept over to me with a 'what the hell are they talking about' look. I sighed and tried to explain that, "Pidge is nosy," and to, "just ignore them." Lance sighed in relief and began wracking his brain for what to tell Pidge, searching for something to satisfy their hunger for knowledge about our personal lives.

"We talked. Keith slapped me across the face and then I stayed at his place." I felt the sudden need to facepalm again. Why would he tell Pidge that I slapped him? I mean I did... and he totally deserved it after being a drunk prick. I don't regret anything, but still. Pidge elbowed me in the ribs, not painfully but in that way that guys will do to their friends after they've scored a girl, or so I've observed. 

Pidge took a step back, now standing next to me, and whispered in my ear so Lance couldn't hear. "He deserved it right?" A snort caught me off guard as I covered the bottom half of my face real quick with my hands, trying to compose myself. "Oh definitely." Pidge nodded and started walking off, yelling behind their shoulder that 'it was payback' and thanked me for 'avenging them'. I'm assuming they're talking about revenge for Lance leaving but that's still a rough subject for Pidge to talk about. 

I take a small step forward towards Lance. "Sorry about all that." He seems a little unnerved, but I chalk it up to it being a Monday. "Uh... yeah, no it's cool." His reply seems forced and so not Lance.

"I haven't seen you for five days? Where've you been?" I question, hoping he'll reply in a way that can help us keep a conversation. 

"Umm... around." He rubs the back of his neck again, brows furrowed a bit like he's having a conversation in his head and I'm invading. 

The silence between us is thick, tension thicker.

"Lance?" I ask, trying to get his attention. He looks up and snaps out of his daze, eyes focussing on me standing there. "S... sorry. I gotta go. Talk later?" He slings his backpack over his shoulder, wincing, which I find a little odd but he pushes past me and starts walking towards the school.  

"Umm... yeah... well text me sometime, ok? We haven't talked since Friday." I yell after him and he turns and gives a thumbs up, showing that he heard. I watch as he catches up with one of this teammates from football before they disappear amongst a wave of students. 

He's acting strange. 

A tap on my shoulder from behind pulls me from my thoughts. Thinking it's Pidge, I turn around only to come face to face with Lotor. Shit. I completely forgot he'd be transferring to our school. Idiot. I'm an idiot!

He hugs me from behind and pulls me closer to him so our bodies are flushed together. I blush immensely, half from embarrassment and the other half from some indescribable feeling, my mind conflicted on whether it's a good feeling or not.  

"You didn't call me." He purrs in my ear, a hint of warning and demand for explanation is faint but noticeable in his tone. I suddenly remember the paper he had stuck into my pocket at the party and silently scold myself for forgetting. 

"I... I'm sorry. I was busy." That's a lie. Lotor always knows when I lie. He also knows I'm never really busy. All the feelings are just too hard to sort. I've been trying to work with them for a whole week but I can't do it anymore! Every time I let my mind run wild with if's and but's they all just take a turn for the worst, and I'm left in a downward spiral of emotions I'm not mentally stable enough to handle. 

He lightly runs his fingers through my hair. My eyes flutter at the sensation, the pads of his fingers running soothingly through my scalp. The feeling is short lived however and replaced with a sharp tug. I swallow a moan at the gesture. Lotor has been with me in bed so many times that we've both lost count, so by now he knows what makes me tick and what makes me scream his name. 

He pulls my head back and whispers again, harshly. "You were too busy? Am I not good enough for you anymore? Not worth your time you slut?" A small whimper clambers from my mouth as he yanks again.

"No! I just..." I think about pulling away, the warnings everyone threw at me when they met Lotor are flashing through my mind, but I can't help that feeling of 'want' that's bubbling in my chest. I missed him, it broke me when he left. Besides, his hands are still tangled in my hair, I can't pull away now.

Lotor leans down by my ear, his white hair cascading down our bodies like a waterfall. He clears his throat and murmurs. "You missed me right? That's what you were going to say." His voice is raw. You'd think his rough morning voice thrumming across my jawline would make me want to say yes, but the only thing that pops in my head is how I'd imagine Lance's voice sounding in the morning. 

Stop Keith. It's never going to happen! Why don't you just stick to what you know? 

Lotor gave me a relationship for most of high school, he was my real first for everything. First kiss, first boyfriend, he's the one that took my virginity. I... I know him, I know what he likes, what he wants in a relationship. Lotor is the safest bet I have so why doesn't it feel like enough anymore? 

That sounds selfish but maybe... everyone was right. He broke me and left me to glue my own pieces back together. He didn't bother trying to continue our relationship long distance. He said it'd be too complicated and I'd be more of a tease in a video chat than real life, that I wasn't worth the trouble, that it'd be cruel to tempt him. 

I know what he meant, he'd really only miss the sex, but I was fine with that. He wouldn't want sex from me if he didn't love me right? He can have anything he wants, he can treat me however he likes as long as it makes him happy...

So is all that really worth gambling away for Lance?  

Lance could give me what I think I want... but Lotor would give me what I deserve. 

Lotor's grip on me tightens and only then do I realize I've been taking too long to answer. The courtyard is bare, meaning the bell must have rung and everyones probably already in first period. I fight his hold on me but he doesn't let up. "Lotor, I have to go to class." I try to plead and he loosens his grip on my hair enough for me to slip out, but the moment I think I can make it through the doors he grabs my wrist, hard.  

I could feel myself wince as he dug his nails into the skin beneath my black hoodie. "I asked you a question, Love." He states and I squirm under his harsh gaze. His voice is menacing, almost bone chilling, like the voice of a serial killer who shows no mercy to their victims.

I don't even know how to answer his question. He knows when I'm lying, but I can't tell if by giving him the answer he wants, I'll be telling the truth anymore. 

A few more seconds pass by and his eyes seem to darken with something I can't identify. He lifts his free hand up, no hint of a warning on his face as it starts accelerating towards my cheek. I brace myself for a hit or the sound of skin splitting skin but the blow never comes, the crack does, however. I open my eyes and find Allura standing next to me, Lotor's expression dumbfounded. 

Allura hive-fived the slap I was supposed to receive. What is she even doing out here in the first place? "Hey Keith, I was looking for you. I wanted to ask about the logo design." She says, obviously trying to come up with some excuse to get us into the building. She fixes her reading glasses that sat droopily on the tip of her nose with a small smirk. I silently thank her as she puts and arm over my shoulders comfortingly. 

Lotor stares at his hand, his gaze jumping between Allura, his blistering palm, and myself. Damn, how hard did she high-five him? She turns her head towards Lotor, giving him a disgusted once-over and pretending she just noticed him. "Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you there. Who might you be?" She questions sassily. I'm tempted to say 'up top' but bit my tongue after witnessing that display. I want to be able to at least use my hands for the rest of the day.

Lotor looks livid, he's fuming. The smoke is building up in his eyes but he keeps a calm demeanor on the outside. That's one thing about Lotor that hasn't changed, that he's one big illusion. Everything he says, everything he does, is all just a big fireproof facade. When he gets himself into deep shit and the heat is turned up, he never burns. In fact it's quite the opposite.

I won't get into too much detail now but point is he's able to keep his emotions under control in public. He filters them through his mind, picking and choosing which ones he's going to show and it's very very rare for him to break character. Honestly, he's never tried to hit me in a public setting before, meaning I really must have really pissed him off or caught him off guard.

His life has been... colorful. The colors being muted and their vibrance tarnished but he's far from transparent. It's a terrifying trait to possess but he'd never hurt me. Sure he's hit me before numerous times but that's only because I deserved it. He'd never go too far, right? Maybe... we could just be friends...

"Oh, I'm just Keith's friend." He spit the last word like it was scum between his teeth. My brows furrowed for a millisecond before trying to rinse my face of any emotions. His threatening gaze just made the grey clouded sky seem darker as he brushed between the two of us, pointing the last of his gaze at me as he walked between us and towards the school. 

Fuck, what did I just do?

><><><><><><><

Allura met me in the halls and walked with me to most of my classes the rest of the day. It was an unspoken agreement between the two of us. I feel fine but she gave me that 'I get a bad vibe from him' look. He seemed pretty pissed and, since he just got back into town, I don't know how much he's changed since we last dated. 

When he got angry while we were dating, he used to just fuck his frustration away, but we aren't together this time around. He broke up with me, so maybe he found another outlet? What did he do when we split? Did he find someone else? Probably not, or he wouldn't be so touchy feely with me. 

On a side note, Lance has been ignoring me all day. When he sees me in the halls he turns to a random jock and starts talking to them, or walking into a class, or my personal favorite... flirting with the closest girl. Now that I think about it, this has been our routine since Monday. When I did manage to catch him, he would give me a weak excuse to leave before dashing off in a random direction. He's even avoided going to our locker or saving it till the very last second so I miss him. 

This happened again and again. Over and over throughout the last three days. By the final bell I was mentally exhausted, fuming in a way, and feeling kinda dejected. Allura noticed all my attempts during the day and suggested we walk to the coffeehouse and she'd treat me. She also said we could talk if I wanted. 

Usually I withdraw from having to talk about my problems, but Allura is an exception. We vent to one another often. Obviously we keep a lot from each other, but we happen to give the other pretty good advice and we connected quickly in my opinion. We only met in the beginning of the Summer but she's like an older sister in a way.

I agreed to go with her since her shift started a half hour after school ended. The sky was still threatening to tear open and let rain pour but for now I think we're in the clear. Allura and I stopped at my house on the way so I could grab my bag and work more on the sketches while I was at the shop. 

Silence surrounded the two of us until we were about 3/4ths of the way there. She started off with cringey small talk that made me open up a bit and eventually she was able to make me comfortable enough to talk to her about it.

"What the hell!" She blurted out upon hearing a rough basis of how my week chasing Lance went. 

"It's not that big a deal. He gets into moods like these sometimes." I say, trying to mask how hurt I really felt when I saw him flirting with those girls. Allura just sighed and put her fingers on the bridge of her nose.

"That's no excuse."

"Maybe he's just tired of me..."

"He's oblivious is what he is." She mumbles under her breath through grit teeth. 

"Keith look at me." She clears her throat and stops me, carefully placing her hand on my shoulder and turning me gently towards her. "No one worth anything could get tired of you. I guarantee Lance isn't tired of you. I've seen the way he looks at you at the shop." A blush hits me hard. He looks at me? What way does he look at me? 

"Yep, he's been checking you out longer than it took him to figure out he isn't straight. Which is a pretty long time." If my face can get any darker, then it's probably at its maximum right now. My complexion is probably the equivalent of an embarrassed strawberry. 

"H... he looks at me?" I mumble in disbelief. Part of me still feels shocked that I never caught him doing this or that he was checking me out in the first place. 

"Yeah, you should have seen him drooling. I wish I took pictures." Allura laughs covering her mouth. She's always been self conscious about her laugh which, for a person as confident as Allura, is kinda hard to believe. I don't mention it though. It's never a good thing to point out peoples insecurities. From personal experience, it just makes them uncomfortable and I don't want to deter Allura for something as stupid as that. 

Now back to the matter at hand... Lance drooled over me?! When? Why? Has he seen me? I'm a walking mess. He didn't seem to act like he'd been stalking me all summer when he found out we were locker buddies... he did flirt a lot though but I thought he was just joking!

"Are you sure he was looking at me and not at a girl behind me? I know he's bi and everything but he didn't come out until Friday." I don't want to get my hopes up. If he really does like me then why would he push me away after kissing me first! I don't know if I want too get into a relationship like that... I don't even know if Lance wants a relationship! I could literally scream for an hour and this frustration would still be simmering inside me.

Allura nods as we take a right. "I think in the summer he didn't notice he was doing it and it was definitely not love at first sight but I think he knew he felt something about you the first time he saw you... just never really connected the dots. He probably thought it was just a friendship pull, you know?" I nod. 

God dammit! That just makes me even more confused! Fuck you McClain! I puff out my cheeks and start to pout, looking to the side in an attempt to shut my brain up. It all just pours out all at once though and next thing I know, I'm spilling all my boy drama to Allura.

"Ugh! He's just so fucking confusing! First he wants to get close to me, then he basically figures out his sexuality in my bedroom, next thing I know we're making out at a party and then he pushes me off him when Pidge jumps out of the closet!" Allura puts a finger up in question but I put my hand up in a 'don't ask' manner. I rack my fingers through my hair and tug hard.

"I... is it me? What did I do Allura? How do I fix this?" Tears blur my vision but they don't fall and Allura doesn't hesitate to answer.

"You did nothing wrong! You two just have some communication issues. Talk more. Lance is probably just off in his own world right now, it has nothing to do with you I promise." She smiles at me and I take a deep breath. My hands disentangle themselves and I through my head back in frustration.

"He's just sending me so many mixed signals. I'm starting to get dizzy keeping track."

"Yeah... speaking of mixed signals..." Allura looks at me expectantly, trying to figure out if she wants to ask or not. I know what she's thinking about but I don't think I want to tell her everything. I can barely let myself think about everything before I feel a strong urge to cut again, and I'm trying to stop for Lance's sake and I guess my own.

"Lotor?" She shook her head once for a yes. I just wanted confirmation before opening that can of worms. 

"He's my ex. I forgot you didn't move in with Coran until after Lotor moved away." Allura nodded in acknowledgment. As far as she told me she was raised in England but Coran was her Uncle in the US. She visited often and then her father died. She dropped out of high school and was living a rocky life until Coran reached out and made a deal with her. 

He would give her a job and a place to stay if she went back to school and finished her education. She agreed, only being set back a year. She moved here at the beginning of the Summer and now she lives here, working and managing the coffeeshop Coran owns. It isn't his main priority since he's also a therapist. We have a pretty long history with one another but I don't want to bore myself with the details. 

"Long story short we split in November of my Junior year and the breakup messed me up pretty bad, but everyone around me thought the relationship was 'unhealthy'." I make air quotes with my fingers. I'll admit our relationship was rocky but I don't think it was unhealthy. He loved me... maybe he still does, but I can't get Lance out of my head long enough to contemplate that possibility.

"Well I'm not going to label it as unhealthy, because I wasn't around when you two dated, but from what I saw this morning it didn't seem like an equal and happy relationship." She furrows her white brows, eyes tinged with concern and sympathy I didn't need, but a strong sense of assurance pulled me away from thinking about receding from Allura's company permanently.  

"I... I was happy." I croak, barely above a whisper. Like I'm trying to convince myself. Not that I need to! He did make me happy... I guess... "Lotor just has his own way of doing things." I inform her and she nods again, this time a little more distant.

"Do you want to get back together with him?" She asks and I jump a bit, not expecting the question. "I don't know." She hurls another question in my direction immediately. 

"If you had to choose between being with Lance and being with Lotor which one would you pick?" I stumble over a few noises that fell from my mouth. My head is an unorganized jumble of chaos. How should I answer that? It's like choosing between night and day. Lotor is my familiarity but Lance puts butterflies in my stomach. Lance is my anchor, he makes me go crazy but he's able to tame me. 

We can joke and have serious conversations as opposed to the tense air that followed whenever Lotor and I were together. It was like everyday put more pressure onto a branch and eventually that twig snapped... being the day he dumped me when he moved away. 

I've finally gotten a little better and I have found something to make me smile again, I've found a person who I feel comfortable with but giddy at the same time. When Lotor and I were out of the public eye we had sex nonstop. If I refused then he would hit me and ask again, other times he didn't ask at all but it's not like I was in any position to say no. I was his boyfriend, it's what I was there for. 

But Lance... he treats me with respect. He's gentle, his lips taste sweeter, his fingers wander in all the right directions, and his touches are intoxicating. But Lotor is who I've studied, he taught me how to be a good boyfriend and he's shown me all the things he likes and the things he doesn't like. 

He isn't necessarily predictable but he's familiar, and familiar is safe. Familiar is comfortable. 

We reached the shop before I could answer and Allura opened the door for me. She glanced at me and told me to 'figure it out for myself' but in a sweet tone and small smile, before we split into our own directions. I set up at my usual table and knowing Allura she was going to make me something.

Something special. She has a drink for me for every occasion, but I have no idea what this occasion calls for. 

><><><><><><

Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm going to be late...

I book it down the sidewalk and turn corners so fast I'm closer to getting whiplash every time. I'm ignoring the pain for the time being, besides it's just bruising and I've had to sit on it all day. I've felt worse, my black eye felt a little worse but it's fading. I still need to wear makeup for work and school though.

Before I think, I run across the crosswalk, despite the light being green, and some old lady yells at me, but I don't have time to acknowledge it. I turn into the miniature alley behind the coffeeshop and go through the backdoor. 

I turn on one of the lights thinking I'm in the clear but the fluorescent lighting bounces off Allura's whit hair in the middle of the room. She's standing with her arms crossed and foot bouncing, her expression a mixture of too much to read into right now. 

"Sorry I'm late Allura, I had to talk to some teachers and I lost track of time-" I was also at the school gym for a little while but I won't tell her that cause she won't understand why and I don't want to explain it. My shift start a half hour after hers so I thought I'd have time. She stops tapping her foot, strutting towards my locker and throwing my apron at me.

"That's not why I'm annoyed Lance." I give her a look of perplexity and she rolls her eyes. She gestures to the door leading to the counter. "Mind telling me why you've been avoiding Keith for five days?" Oh... that's what this is about. I tie the blue apron strings around my back before walking to my locker to throw my backpack in. "I was just busy today." I mumble hoping she'd buy it.

She didn't buy it. 

"Lance... sit down with me for a moment." She motions to the wood table in front of her. It's covered in miscellaneous papers and a few office supplies. A steaming cup of something is boiling in a mug off to the side as we sit across from one another. She stares at me intently but her voice is full of concern.

"Keith is an amazing person who has been through so much. I don't even know the half of it because he hates talking about the things that make him vulnerable." I nod, showing I follow, even if I'm starting to feel guilty for ignoring him but I just can't do a friendship with him! That's all I thought it was going to be but... god he's just so... him! 

Nobody's perfect, but he's the kind of perfect everybody wants in their lives. Someone who's loyal and funny and someone who looks like a fucking god because damn, ¡es guapísimo! 

He's not afraid to joke around with me and his blush is so fucking cute. I can't stay away. It's so hard trying to contain myself but when someone as incredible as Keith comes around I want to show him the same loyalty he would show me.

I need to protect him. Even if he isn't aware he needs protecting. Even if he doesn't know how much it breaks me to stay away.

"But he is beating himself up right now. He thinks he did something to make you want to stay away from him and the guilt of what it could be is eating him up. He doesn't think he's good enough for you..." What?! What in the world would make him ever think he's not good enough! Me. That shouldn't even be a question. I knew it'd hurt him but I didn't mentally prepare myself for how much the backlash was going to sting me. I hate this! I hate this so much... god dammit!

"He's overthinking things and I think by now you can guess where overthinking leads in Keith's case." I nod. I know exactly what he's capable of when he's overwhelmed, and the fact that he promised not to is going to make this even worse. Fuck Keith... why do you have to be so damn selfless when all it does is eat you up inside. Allura picks up the coffee mug on the table and pushes it in my direction.

"So you are going to take this to Keith, apologize, and talk to him." I look own at the cup for a split second before trying to get out of this. I can talk to Keith on my own terms. I don't need to be babied, I'm almost eighteen after all!

"Allura you can't just-" She cuts me off and I'm quick to realize my bullshit isn't going to work on her.

"I won't pay you for the week if you don't." Shit. She's pulling out the big guns. 

"Ok! Ok! I'm going!" I raise my hands in surrender and grab the cup, making my way to the front. All the while I can feel her pointed gaze and blinding smirk directed at the back of my head. 

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For the sake of the plot (and my sanity) Lance's birthday won't be his canon birthday. He's 17 right now (obviously) so he isn't a legal adult which is an important detail. 

Ok! Thanks for reading! A major plot point is about to hit frens! Just hang in there XD