As Pidge's house comes into view, I begin to slow, gradually leading into a full stop. I steady the bike before standing and dropping the kickstand. After turning the bike off completely and pulling off my helmet, I turn to Lance not expecting what I saw.

He pulled off his helmet, unaware of my eyes on him, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair a few times to fix the helmet hair. Honest to god, he looks so fucking adorable. When he noticed my starring I turned away so fast I practically got whiplash.

This left us both in an awkward state of blush.

Lance decided to start walking up to the door after handing me the helmet and I agreed quickly, hoping the pigment in my face will revert back to its pale origins.

However before his fist makes contact with the worn wooden door he jumps back, surprising the both of us. I quickly secure my bike before rushing over to see what's going on, knife in hand. If someone broke into Pidge's house they will personally regret it. 

I can safely assume neither of us expected to see a set of eyes peering from in the house.

Lance stops in his tracks and I raise my knife higher, closer to my face, ready to fight whoever this is. I hadn't even noticed that it looks like I'm protecting Lance more than getting ready to storm their house.

I take a quick glance towards Lance to check in with him and see if he sees the eyes too, which he obviously does. When I turn back towards the window, the eyes narrow and the blinds quickly shut. Lance and I look at each other in surprise and confusion before the front door swings open. 

It's Shiro... well the wobbly, drunk version of Shiro and behind him stands a sober and stressed Matt, trying to pull him back through the front door.

Matt is Pidge's older brother and actually Shiro's age so they get along pretty well. They've been best friends since we moved back to this town, although I feel like something else is going on between them. I don't have enough proof though so I just leave it. 

I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head in disappointment. Matt waves us in after throwing Shiro out of the way, like you do when trying to keep a hyper dog from pouncing on a guest. We glance at one another simultaneously in shock then make our way through, closing the door behind us before traveling to the living room. 

Not even two seconds before I walk into the room, I'm on the floor... yep Pidge tackled me like I knew they would and I still wasn't ready for it.

"PIDGE! Are you trying to kill me?" They're sitting on top of me, pinning my wrists to the ground and digging their knees into my thighs, which makes them sting but the pain feels relieving in a way so I ignore it. 

"Don't be so dramatic!" They smirk at me, looking over at Lance who's laughing in the doorway, although he's shifting his weight so maybe he feels nervous or out of place, not that I blame him. I'm probably a big reason why he's nervous about seeing Hunk and Pidge again; considering I practically harassed him for misgendering Pidge, and tried to teach him that you can't leave people behind and come back like you never had a falling out.

However, I know it isn't my place to meddle in his personal affairs so I'm not going to get too involved with it anymore. It's a common mistake. People misgender Pidge all the time but Pidge doesn't persecute them. 

I also have to take into consideration that he has a good explanation for why he left supposedly, because trust me I've left a lot of people. But what do I know? I just hope he can fill that void in Pidge and Hunk that he left behind.

Something in Pidge's eyes the first moment they see him is something that, surprisingly, I can understand. They seem relieved and excited that Lance actually came, but nervous and still hesitant on letting him into their life again.

I don't think I could even count how many people have made me feel that way and how many times I've been hurt because I didn't listen to my gut and actually assumed those people had changed.

I turn my attention back to the gremlin and they look back at me with an evil smile.

Oh no.

"Soooo, what did you two do before you got here?" They shift their gaze between the two of us before I answer quickly, trying to act nonchalant, which in hindsight I don't even need to do since nothing actually happened. 

Except for the cutting spree, the bonding moment, Lance's dad, and the bruise I saw on his stomach. But that's it.

"We were just playing some games, why?" They tilt their head, like a confused puppy that looks like they want more information, which I don't feel like feeding them.

"What kind of games Keith? Lance might want to know what you've thinking of trying out!" They stare at me wickedly as my eyes double in size and a huge wash of red overcame my face.

"Pidge get the fuck off or you're not going to Rolo's party!" I'm struggling to overpower them since they're sitting on my stomach and I'm still pretty weak from my session at home. They just roll their eyes and crawl to the other side of the room. I get up and look over at Lance who's probably as red as I am. He quickly recovers with a smirk but I'm not that lucky.

"So what kind of games did you have in mind red?" Wow! Talk about a sudden burst of confidence. He scans me with a devilish smile before crossing his arms and leaning on the doorframe. 

"I have no idea what the hell Pidge is talking about." I glare in their direction and they huff, looking away. Then I eye Shiro, who's been trying to walk in a straight line this whole time.

"Takashi Shirogane what have I told you?" I sigh dramatically and collapse on the couch. I'm so fucking tired that I'm surprised I didn't drive off the road. Lance didn't follow me into the room and stood his ground in the doorway just observing this chaos I call friendship.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Shiro couldn't wait for the party and no one told me he was a lightweight." Matt narrows his eyes at Pidge who's practically crying on the floor in laughter at the sight of Shiro trying to do the Macarena. 

"You never asked." Pidge responds through grit teeth. They stick out their tongue and walk over to us. "Plus he's your best friend and future boyfr-"

"Shut it." Matt yells, making Pidge snicker behind his back.

"I'm actually surprised you didn't kill one another so far. Anyways, it's nice to see you could make it to the pre-party." Pidge laughs. And looking at it now, I guess they're right.

I look up at Lance, who moved his way to the couch before Pidge started talking to us, but his eyes were cloudy. Glazed over in a way, like his mind is trapped in the fear of this going really bad.

Before I can distract him from himself, Hunk walks over and rests an arm around Lance's shoulder. "Hey man, can I talk to you real quick?" Lance hesitantly nods and they head towards the backyard. Pidge jumps up from their spot on the floor and grasps my upper arm making me squeak in surprise.

"Come on lover boy, we gotta get you some party gear!" I raise a brow in confusion but they don't acknowledge it as they lead me into their room, effectively leaving Matt to deal with drunk Shiro by himself.

It's been nice knowing you Matt.

~<><><><><><><><><><><><><>~

"Pidge why do I have to change? I feel fine in what I'm wearing." I cross my arms over my chest and lean all my weight on my left leg. Pidge jumps up from their closet and flicks me on the nose, receiving a pretty pissed off glare in return. It's all in fun though, it's hard for me to control my anger but I'm not impetuous enough to lose my temper over a wardrobe change.

"Well you won't be when you spill beer all over it and realize you didn't bring extra clothes with you, like a dumbass." I wave my hand, mocking them while they have their back to me. Pidge spins around quickly and I throw my hands behind my back, whistling innocently and staring at the ceiling. They flip me off and throw thigh high socks into my arms which I toss to the bed. I lean against the wall next to the closet doors, observing. 

"I thought name calling was beneath you." Pidge snickers in response and snakes their tiny hand around my neck, flipping my hair up.

"And I thought recreating the 80's was beneath you, but here we are." I snort and push them off me, a grin creeping its way onto my snowflake face. I go back to brooding in the corner, my arms cross again in front of my chest, my back against the minty green walls.

"Huh... nice burn." I nod my head in approval and a small bout of satisfaction. Pidge's comebacks are the reason we became friends so if they decided to be dull and boring, then what would be the point?

"Most people in your situation would be offended." They toss a shirt behind them, the oxygen in the room causing it to fall gracefully into the lime sheets.

"Oh please, if I took everything you said to heart then I would probably be dead or something." Pidge continues throwing things onto the bed and I sign loudly, collapsing on top of the newly made clothing mountain.

"Ok, out of the leggings and the shirt." They push me off some of the clothes and my eyes widen.

"Wait... now?" They look at me like I'm an idiot, which isn't hard to achieve when around Pidge. Simultaneously they pull me out of the bed by my wrists. Luckily their fingers are placed all in spots I didn't let the razor graze my skin.

"No tomorrow... Yes now!" I roll my eyes and glance over at Pidge, who's sitting criss cross applesauce on their bedsheets, facing in my direction.

"Well do you mind?" They shrug their shoulders, light brown hair bouncing with the movement. A smirk evident on their face.

"Not really. Dude I'm Non-Binary and Ace so I think you'll be fine." That's not even the problem, and I can't even tell them the problems. 

Well, one is that I'm obviously a guy who would rather not strip in front of his best friend and two my body is covered in so many scars and fresh cuts it looks like I had just come home from war. I've never been naked in front of Pidge and I don't plan on it in this lifetime, for someone to see me so vulnerable and then pity me, gawk at me like the ugly piece of shit I am, or think of me as an instantly delicate piece of glass is a life I'd rather not live.

"How about no. I don't have to change you know-" but Pidge cuts me off quickly with the wave of their hands.

"Fine! But only because I'm saving you from social suicide." I flinch, my hands shake slightly and I feel adrenaline kick in. It kind of reminds me of when Lance was at the bridge, how he knew where I was and knew what I was doing. I actually never asked him how he knew, was it so obvious that I wanted... want to die?

I shake my head a bit, trying to come back to Pidge's room mentally. I kind of don't want to though... I mean suicide? I was just peering through realities windows into the afterlife, waving to my friends on the other side,

They just didn't wave back.

I know Pidge saying this isn't as serious as I'm making it out to be, but out of all the words they could've used... I have to snap out of it! If you don't stop then Pidge will get suspicious and blackmail you into telling them.

If I roll my eyes anymore I think I'll get an instant migraine, but Pidge turns around with a pout on their chapped lips, crossing their arms like a child in time out.

I quickly remove my jacket, inspecting the new addition of pain to my body, dried blood dripping down my legs but luckily the bandages are holding up. Pidge stays true to their word and keeps their eyes on the wall in front of them. The only time we interact throughout the whole ordeal is when I ask for the stupid clothes and Pidge tosses them over their shoulder.

Oh boy. 

They want me to wear this? I'm not worried about my cuts at this point because these things should cover them up but... really? I finish changing, picking at the shoulders of the flannel, and look at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror. Wow... I really look like shit. It's not the outfit, even though I know I can't pull it off, but I just mean my body in general. Did my hair really get this long? Why am I so pale? The bags under my eyes are so dark and big, however, you can't see my cuts with these socks so that's a relief. 

"There. Are you happy now?" Pidge turns around, all giddy and almost shrieks at how I look (Or that I actually agreed to wear this). I really don't know why I said yes, maybe to shut Pidge up. 

Yeah that's gotta be the reason.

"Very. Now onto the face paint." They drop their crossed arms to the cushion of the mattress and jump off with the same smirk they've been sporting since I got here. 

"The what?" My eyes track Pidge to the dresser as they pull out a bag of paints for me to use. I knew they were planning something like this! Pidge has always been enamored with the fact that someone like me can draw decently, as well as paint and they try to get me to do it for them all the time.

"Oh yeah. Rolo's party has luminescent lights which is actually very ironic considering the amount of sex people must have all over the place-" I stomp over and rip the brushes from their fingertips, whacking Pidge on the back of the head. I'll admit it would have been more fun to use a newspaper but I gotta stick to my resources.

"Pidge!" They sit in their beanbag chair, aka the video game chair, in the same shade of green as the rest of the room. 

"Hehe... yeah... so about that face paint..." They smile innocently at me, brown eyes gleaming with satisfaction as I get down on my knees.

~<><><><><><><><><><><><><>~

"So what did you want to t... talk about?" It's hard trying to keep myself calm. After years of not talking to Hunk or Pidge, this probably isn't going to be a light carefree discussion. 

"Lance..."

"I mean it must be pretty important if you're talking to me on your own." I think I'm pacing now. I don't exactly know. I feel like I'm going to throw up but I didn't do anything did I? Except for pushing them away and yelling at them, I lied to them but I don't know if they know about that so what could actually happen? Maybe I'm taking this out of proportion.

"Lance."

"Is it bad? Did I do something wrong? I should go. I don't know why I came. It was just that in the moment I thought..." My fingers drum against my thigh and my arms start to shake. Hunk pulls me from my state of near panic with the sharp screech of my name.

"LANCE!" I don't think I've ever heard Hunk this frustrated.

"Pidge misses... I miss..." Hunk lets out a shakey sigh, "We both miss you... a lot actually." Hunk looks down and rubs his hand against his forearm. "We probably annoy the living daylights out of Keith because we talk about you so much." He rubs his arm and looks up at me which is a change from where his eyes were previous fixated on the cracked concrete patio. 

I don't answer him. What could I even say right now? Hunk has every right to hate me but he's trying to make conversation. I know Hunk and he isn't the kind of person to pretend unless it's for the greater good. Then again Hunk is a completely different person than he was in Middle School. I'll admit, I would have loved if Hunk and Pidge were with me back then. Maybe things would have been easier for me, but that's just selfish thinking. I did what I did to protect them... and I'm not going to jeopardize that now, not after all that isolation.

"We just... I want to know why you won't talk to us. I've been your best friend since birth, but when you were eight, you started slowly shutting us out. I can tell when something is bothering you, no matter how well you've managed to fool everyone else." I can't look into Hunk's eyes anymore. It really hurts. So I keep my eyes fixated on a pile of broken pots...

Fuck why did I have to break those pots. Now all I can seem to hear while looking at them are the whispers of my mom telling me how to grow a garden and that everything is unique and all that bullshit. I force myself to move my eyes to some other location, any other subject that will remove my mind from the flashbacks of mi Madre. 

The weeds should do... weeds in cracks. 

"Nope... I'm fine Hunk." I roll on the balls of my feet, sucking my bottom lip in, trying not to let my face tell him otherwise. I mean this life is normal for me so why wouldn't I be ok? I've lived like this for years.

"No you're not! Lance it's really hard for you to lie to me and get away with it. You might not have wanted me around for six years but I've never become a stranger to the way you can act!" Hunk slams his fist into the side of the house. Wow... I've never seen him do that before. Usually Hunk is such a put-together person. I guess it has been a while. 

"Six years Lance! Can you believe that? What did I do so wrong that you hated us enough to..." He sits down on one of the chairs and puts his head in his hands, clear liquid oozing between his shaking fingers. I rush over in an attempt to try and comfort him.

If you make Hunk cry then you have royally fucked up. I never thought I would be the one to make him cry. I used to tell Hunk I'd protect him and Pidge from people that would try and hurt them so does that mean I need to pummel myself? Damn... I guess my father doesn't beat me enough.

"I'm sorry Hunk... I really am. I never wanted to push you guys away! I just..."  I try to put a hand on his shoulder but he jumps up and smacks it away, his actions are accompanied with more yelling.

"Just what?! Stop running around the truth and just tell me already! Don't you think we deserve to know why you hate us so much? What was so much more important than your best friends?" At this point, I just want to walk away but he needs to vent. I'm getting frustrated too, my blood is slowly heating and I feel like a bomb near to detonation. I don't want to yell at him! I have no right! But in this moment, I don't think I can get my answers across without doing so.

"You're not the problem! Things just got complicated and I didn't want you guys to get hurt or involved." I start with a yell but it gradually fades into a frustrated mumble. Hunk shoots up from his seat entirely and pins me to the wall by the sliding doors, nobody can see us from indoors. 

I have to keep my breathing in check or this could be the Keith incident all over again. This time I might let something slip in English and then Hunk will definitely find out what's been going on.

I can't let that happen... no matter what.

"Lance... I would have thrown myself in front of a train if you needed me too. If you told me what was going on I would have been there for you, protected you. So stop being so selfish and just let us help you already." The two of us stand there in shock at the conversation we just had, the truths revealed and the words spoken. Hunk sobs in front of me, an arm across my chest and the other against the wall. His head is towards the ground, tears swelling and flowing like a waterfall. 

Hunk has always been more in touch with his emotions then other boys in this town and we love him for that, I always have. I just can't believe Hunk would say something as crazy as wanting to die to keep me safe. Would he actually sacrifice his life for me though? Or is this just something to get me to feel guilty, because it's working.

I can tell my face is devoid of any emotion. You would think, in this situation, that I would just break down and cry but I haven't cried in years... I'm not allowed to. I've trained myself not to cry because every time I did at home as a child I was beat till I couldn't see straight. The last time I did was at the funeral I threw for her... and I got hit. 

So I don't cry.

Hunk lets up and wipes his tears before removing his arm from me, taking a few steps back. He raises his hands in surrender before continuing in a calm tone.

"We aren't mad at you Lance. At least I'm not. It might take a little bit to gain Pidge's trust back but they miss you so much it's ripping them apart... and me too." 

"I... I'm so sorry." I stutter. I didn't mean to hesitate but for some reason that answer doesn't even satisfy me. I can say sorry all I want but that isn't actually doing anything to help. I'm just spewing words in the heat of the moment. 

That settles it then. I'm going to keep Pidge and Hunk close and regain their trust. I want them back in my life and I should never have let them leave in the first place, but back then it was the only way I could think to keep them away from the danger and the burden I could have been on them.

"Don't be. I don't actually know why I was yelling, so I should be the one to apologize." 

"We probably just got in the way and I should just deal with that fact, but you could have at least told us to follow you before pushing us aside." No! Ok... I don't know why this one makes me so much more desperate for him to see things my way. He doesn't realize just how hard it is to keep this secret and I wish I could tell him... I really do but I don't want to deal with him getting involved or pitying me.

"No! You guys didn't... that's not the reason..." Hunk cuts me off luckily, because my brain isn't working right now.

"The bottom line is that we love you Lance. We miss you. And we want you to be around us because we love you, but you're going to have to be able to trust us more and open up. Tell us what's bothering you so we can help because we would never turn you away." This is the part of the story where I'm supposed to tear up and jump into Hunk's arms with joy but I don't do that.

I smile at him. I'm so grateful he's giving me another chance to prove to him and Pidge especially that I won't abandon them again, but I don't want to ruin the moment if Hunk accidentally brushes his hands over one of my wounds or presses too hard on my bruises. 

"Hunk..."

"Now let's go inside. Pidge is giving us face paint for the party and is probably criticizing Keith again." Hunk lets out a full belly laugh and I can't help but join in... what! Hunk's laughs are contagious as well as his smile and don't get me started on his baking. I think eating his cupcakes would've given me an orgasm if I wasn't eight-years-old the last time I tried one. 

Once our laughs subside we make our way to the glass door. I'll admit this conversation didn't go as sour as I thought it was going to turn. Heated? Definitely, but also very worth it. Hunk was first to take a step inside but stopped midway and turned to face me again with a serious look on his face.

Please tell me there isn't more.

"Oh! And about Keith... he doesn't tell us much, but we know he's been through... a lot. So, please don't hurt him Lance." Just the mention of Keith in that way makes me think of everything that's happened between us these few weeks we've known each other, this past week especially. 

My PTSD acting up, our talk in the stairwell, our talks in general at the coffeehouse and his house, his suicide attempt and our race in the rain. The bike and bus rides, the scars I saw on his hands and how he opened up to me about his past, well a little bit.

Maybe, I could possibly open up to him a little too... maybe.

I nod my head vigorously before following Hunk into the Holt household.

As if I'd ever do anything to hurt Keith.

~<><><><><><><><><><><><><>~

We're gathered in the living room at Pidge's request. They're getting ready to show off their outfit as well as Keith's, which I don't think they could really do much to change. Keith can be really stubborn if I've learned anything in the time I've known him. 

"Ok! Presenting the new and improved Keith, he's hard to work with, by the way, so you should be giving me a fucking Nobel Peace prize for this." I can hear a grunt and Pidge snicker before Keith walks out. I swear my jaw dropped. 

He's in black, high waisted shorts with a cropped T-Shirt for some band I've never heard of. The t-shirt is dark grey with numerous shades of orange, yellow, and white mixing into whatever design is on the front of it. However most of the shirt is covered by a long, flowing flannel; stretching and stopping a little past his knees, with the sleeves rolled up in a maroon and emerald color scheme. He's got on black socks going up to his thighs, then obviously he's still wearing his converse, and his black fingerless gloves which I could understand. He's got on a chocker too but it's only visible because his hair is bundled up into a high ponytail. And lastly his face is adorned with numerous designs in red paint, simple yet beautiful.

For the craftsmanship I mean! 

It's a pretty warm outfit but the weather here gets a little hotter at night, oddly enough. It's supposed to be a comfortable temperature and a little breezy, so overall he shouldn't get too uncomfortable.

Pidge did a good job with the eyeliner, although we all know they're no where near a beauty guru. Keith seems to be hiding behind the oversized flannel and this is probably the first I've ever seen his legs partly exposed, so basically he looks like he wants to sink into the floor and stay home. 

Pidge starts spitting out words to Keith saying he looks fine and to get out of the way so the spotlight has room for them. Keith just mumbles under his breath before walking towards Hunk and I, eyes on the floor.

"You really know how to clean up Mullet." I flick the tip of his ponytail up as he walks by, glancing over at me quickly before looking back down and attempting to make it to the couch. I have other plans though and wrap an arm around his shoulders pulling him over to watch the rest of Pidge's ridiculous performance. 

I want to tell him he looks incredible but my mouth and my mind have a hard time agreeing on what I should blurt out.

"If we have to suffer through Pidge's one-man show then you have to too Red." He doesn't make a move to rip away from me or punch me in the face, which is unexpected. He's a little tense and I can tell he's really doubting how he looks right now. 

I want to tell him how incredible he looks but that would be creepy right? I mean he hated me a few days ago, so would my compliment mean anything to him? I feel my hand start to shake on his shoulder and I attempt to keep myself steady. I'm about to pull away too but he leans into my touch, very slightly that, to the naked eye, no one would've noticed, but I felt it. 

We fit together like puzzle pieces, the contact feels so foreign considering we're both pretty touch sensitive and sensitive to affection in general... this is just a Bro hug though right? Yeah. It feels normal but so new, I want to pull him closer, I want his arms around me too and not just crossed in front of his chest. That's selfish though and besides it's just a hug so I don't need to think about it too hard. 

"Whatever you say baby Blue." He exhales it like a sigh and I swear Matt turned on every heater or teleported us to Texas cause damn it's getting really hot in here and my heart is pounding like I've run a marathon. How could a stupid little nickname make me feel this way? It's probably just the nerves for the party... it'll pass.

Pidge introduces themselves before popping out from behind the bedroom door, this time Matt's mouth hangs open but not for the same reason mine did for Keith... I mean... Ugh nevermind there's no reasoning with this.

Pidge is in a pair of denim short overalls, a short white plain t-shirt with one shoulder exposed and a pair of green converse. They have green face paint, instead of the red Keith is sporting, on their face and along their left leg. I dart my eyes down to Keith's leg to see that he has a design on there as well but on the opposite leg. His is painted on his skin and most of the sock on that side so I guess he ran out of canvas on his skin. They kind of look like paw prints.

"As you guys can see, Keith is a wizard-" Pidge starts but Hunk shouts in the middle of their explanation.

"You're a wizard Harry!" The whole room begins to snicker, I can even feel Keith's chuckle reverberate in my chest since I pulled him into my side. Hunk beams proudly at the response before Pidge's glare brings us all back to reality and gets us to all shut up.

"Ok then... well as I was saying before Hunk so RUDELY interrupted is that Keith is a wizard when it comes to art, so combine my extensive anime knowledge with his painting skills and you have body art." They motioned to their leg like a model on tv. Matt. exe already stopped working ages ago so we've forgotten about him. 

"And yes Steven Universe is an anime so fight me." I guess the paw prints are supposed to be from Steven's pink Lion in the show, just in our own colors. It's not an anime but I'm not going to argue with Pidge... I still value my life. However, Keith pipes up from his spot against me.

"Yeah, we thought it would be cool to do the lion prints in our own colors and you guys give me an idea for what kind of style you want and I can paint it on you." Keith explains, waving a paintbrush he's apparently been holding in his hand around to emphasize his point.

"Nope! No no Nopedy Nope! Pidge Holt you are not leaving this house in that!" Matt apparently checked back in with reality when he pushed me to the side, basically throwing me onto the couch to get to Pidge. Keith was also pushed to the couch, tripping and falling back onto me. It wasn't graceful like in those cliche chick flicks, we were both groaning in pain mostly.

Keith ended up just flopping next to me. Matt, on the other hand, motions to Pidge with his pointer finger, scanning their outfit up and down, cocking his hip like the gay bean he is. 

"Hey everybody Matt's back!" I say in a mocking tone, obviously Matt doesn't care so he pretends I'm invisible, still trying to emphasis how much he isn't liking the idea of us going to this party.

"Well fuck you Goatman! You're not mom, I'm not scared of you." Pidge points at Matt with a taunting smirk. He groans and turns to the 'adult' for some backup.

"Shiro!" He turns around in a wobbly and far from graceful manner holding his half empty Corona. 

"Loooook aat all doss ChiCKenSSSS!" He points to a flock of birds migrating, visible through the kitchen window and I can safely say we are all trying our hardest not to facepalm.

"I forgot you were useless... fine whatever! But you guys better protect them with your life! Understand? Or I will hunt you down!" He bores his eyes into our very souls and I let a chill shiver down my spine, nodding profusely.

"I'm pretty sure Pidge could handle themselves but whatever you want man." Keith yawns as he snuggles into me a bit more, he's probably tired but just as soon as I noticed were cuddling in the middle of the room, he did as well and we jumped away from one another like a chemical reaction gone wrong.

~<><><><><><><><><><><><><>~

His hands are soft, he's so patient and gentle for someone who acts so cold. Keith's talents never cease to amaze me and it's hard to believe he hates himself, it's sad to know he doesn't recognize how good he actually is.

I'm wearing a muscle shirt right now (from Matt's wardrobe when Pidge bought him 'Cool clothes' for his birthday) with my green jacket and I chose a spot that I hadn't been hit in for a while so luckily there weren't many newer looking wounds, only scars but I don't want to get too into them for Keith's sake. 

He doesn't need to hear my sob story and I don't want to burden him with it. Besides I'm fine, I'm alive, so one day I can leave and never look back at this stupid town with stupid memories and stupid feelings. And if Keith has seen the scars, which he obviously has, he doesn't plan on saying anything, which I'm thankful for.

His knuckles graze my skin, light tapping as his fingers lace around the brush. He's humming to the tune of a song in his head while adding some details to the blue design he's been working on. I told him to let his imagination take him, so he's doing just that and so far I love how it's turning out.

Hunk got his done already, on his right arm so I'm getting mine done on the left. It's not exactly the spots we all wanted but it's what we decided since we all wanted different spots. They look fairly similar to each other just different colors and designs on the paw pads. Shiro would have gotten the black one, but he wouldn't sit still so he's SOL.

We obviously all got the face markings too; Keith's were two red lines running from his jawline to his cheek, mine where two v's under my eyes, Pidge got a green dot between their brows and a few earthy designs around their eyes, then Hunk got a few Samoan inspired designs. 

Keith is a god with brush, guitar, voice; I swear this boy is going to be the death of me in a perfectly platonic way.

When Keith finished me off, I tried to put my jacket back up but he put a hand on mine and pulled it back down. I look down at his hand on mine then dart my eyes back up to his at the same time he darts his up to mine. Both our faces seemed to tint rose when he realized what he just did but it's probably the heat again. Matt should really turn the heat down or at least open a window.

"Oh... U... Uhm... don't put it up. You'll smudge it." He got up quickly to wash off the brushes, his ponytail swaying as he walked away, the tips of it licking the back of his neck with each step he took... not that I was paying attention or anything.

"Ok, Katie I am going to let you go to this party under supervision of Hunk, Keith, and Lance. You will not drink any alcoholic beverage and you will be home by six, do I make myself clear?" Matt waves his finger around trying to emphasis his conditions.

"One; I don't need a babysitter. Two; I can't promise anything. Three; Don't call me Katie you know how much I hate it. And Four; IT'S 5:45!" We all looked at the clock on the wall and turned back to Matt. 

Before he could say anything, however, Hunk cut him off. "Don't worry Matt, we got it all under control. Speaking of which do you think you'll be good watching Shiro while we're out?" He let out a laugh and put his hand on Hunk's shoulder.

"Please, he'll be out like a light in a half hour, go have fun." He slowly peered over at Pidge. "But not too much fun." Pidge put their hand on his forehead and pushed him away with an unamused expression plastered on their face.

"Yeah yeah. Let's go guys!" Pidge went for the door as Matt went to wrestle Shiro who found some Jack Daniels in the kitchen pantry.

"HHHEY GWYS! I FFOUND SOMME MORE! TIMEEEEE TO PARTAAAA!" Shiro was waving a bottle in the air and standing on the counter top. At the same time Matt attempted to jump on him to get the bottle before he smashed it or something.

We all just walked out, waving Shiro and Matt goodbyes and good lucks before we started down the sidewalk. The late Autumn leaves were crunching underfoot as we left, but something was rubbing me the wrong way.

I don't know what it is yet but I know it's gotta have something to do with this party.

~<><><><><><><><><><><><><>~

We're walking down the deserted sidewalk and can hear the faint sound of music and screaming coming from Rolo's 'house.'

Lance pulls his arms over Hunk (more-so closer to his neck so he wouldn't smudge Hunk's designs) and I, Pidge standing in front of him as they look up at the crazy goofball about to do something weird. Then he paints on a big smile.

"Guys! We should come up with something to say when we get there. Wait! I got it. When I say Par- you say -ty! Par-..." I look around at the three of them, but out of the three the only one to answer is me, in all my blunt glory.

I look at him confused because this chant makes no sense what-so-ever. But I assume he wants me to say something so I just go with whatever pops up in my head. 

"Party?"

"NO! You got to follow the instructions! When I say Par- you say..." he waves his arms to emphasis what he's saying but again I don't give him the answer he's looking for.

"Party." I exclaim sounding a little more sure of myself with further inspection of the question. That's the right answer! I know it is!

"Ok, we'll work on it. I mean people don't call me the life of the party for nothing." Lance begins to smirk and wiggle his eyebrows up and down. Pidge turns around to bop him on the nose.

"Nobody calls you that, but apparently you have a weird habit of disappearing at parties. Also don't say some tacky line like that in this century, there's a reason I waited till 2003 to come into this world." Pidge smiles at their burn and at the sight of Lance's confidence in going to this party burst into flames. Wait, how can Pidge choose when they were born? Actually... nevermind. I don't want to know. 

Something in his eyes changes after the comment. I don't know how to explain it but it looks like he's been caught doing something bad and he's about to be punished. Something similar to that cloudy look when we got to Pidge's house.

He throws his arm off of Hunk and then looks at me, quickly removing the other. A small blush crept across my cheeks but was quickly overpowered by the smoke coming from the house. 

The house is old and dilapidated, obviously it's been abandoned but Rolo just decided to have it here. Rolo is the biggest druggie in the school when he actually shows up, hence the fact that he has a lot of stoner buddies and this is the place they always shoot up or take hits so it's just been deemed Rolo's house.

The wrap around porch is in a state of collapse and the light purple paint's peeling off the exterior of the house. I don't know if that's from weathering, age, or possibly whatever they're smoking in the basement. The shingles on the roof look as though they could slide off any minute but an abundance of moss seems to be holding them in place like natures super glue. 

We're here and my stomach is dropping. Something just doesn't feel right about being here. Like something's about to happen.

I'm too sober for this.

~<><><><><><><><><><><><><>~

WOW! Would you look at that! Shiro's memey side comes out when he's drunk! WooT! Honestly, I'm not too proud of this chapter but I did my best.

Anyways I need to have a poll with you guys for when everyone goes back to Pidge's place after the party. Should Keith and Lance:

1) Have a sleepover at the house (which would mean no Shatt sooner than later)

or

2) Have Keith and Lance go back to Keith's house without Shiro (where there will be much more angst but the friendship with Lance, Pidge and Hunk will take longer to develop)

YOUR GUYS DECISION! PLEASE COMMENT YOUR ANSWERS IT'S IMPORTANT TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE STORY!