I had to shake my head to make sure I wasn't still stuck in my nightmare and I heard Shiro correctly.

"You're kidding right? Thats not very funny." I laugh nervously but even that's not enough to lift the serious mood beginning to settle in the air.

"Keith, I'm serious. I was talking with some people, like old friends from Dyfs. They all thought it would be good for you and there are people willing to work with you." I shake my head rapidly and almost fall out of my chair. My hands grip tighter around the coffee mug as I try to stop my hands from shaking.

"Shiro... no." I can't do that! When has it ever helped before? It's not like therapy is something we've never tried, it just doesn't work on me.

"Keith at least give it a chance!" I stand up abruptly almost spilling the coffee in the process. My stool tips back in the excitement, making my heart jump into my throat. It feels like I'm being cornered.

"Please don't push it! I'm going to take the stupid pills so for once just leave it at that!" My anger starts masking my other emotions, just like I taught it to. In hind sight that probably wasn't the best idea but I was a kid when I picked up the habit and that just seemed like the easiest path to take.

"Can you at least think about it?" Shiro came around the counter carefully and showed me his hands before putting them on my shoulders to help ground me. Luckily Shiro can tell when I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I take a deep breath and sigh then wrap my arms around myself in a hug.

"I already have." I shot Shiro a death glare and started walking towards the stairs.

"Keith wait..." Shiro comes over, probably in an attempt to confort me but I step back abruptly.

"I'm not doing it! I'm fine. I don't need to see someone! There is nothing wrong with me!" My voice is more strained than angry and frustration is sewn in rather than aggression.

"Physically your right. There is nothing physically wrong with you. But mentally..." Shiro beckons me to sit but I don't. Doesn't he understand this isn't something I want to be talking about?

"I get it Shiro. You think I'm fucked up just like everyone else, you think I'm a monster like she did!" I wrap my arms around myself to try and feel better. I don't like having disagreements, especially with Shiro but what else am I supposed to do? We've tried therapy. It didn't help then so why would it help now?

"I'm doing this because I care about you. I want you to be happy and I want you to understand how much people care about you. I love you Keith and it hurts me more than anything else to see how much you hate yourself everyday." He tries again to give me a hug but I back away like we're in some continuous distrustful loop. At this point I'm practically up the first three steps. I'm feeling to much, I just need some time to process this.

At that moment my savior (known as a text alert) buzzed in my pocket. I pull it out and look down to see a message from an unknown number.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith's phone screen

Unknown: Hey!

Keith: Umm... Who are you?

Unknown: Oh! Sorry it's Lance.

Keith: Hey...

Lance: So... how have you been? You ok?

Keith: Yeah why wouldn't I be?

Lance: Well, that's good. You can meet up at the Cafe anytime. I'm making up my hours from last night today so I'll just take my break when you get here.

Keith: Ok? Be there soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Umm... can we pick this up later. I'm meeting someone at the coffeeshop today and we need to set up times and stuff." I look down and put my phone back in my pocket. I don't want to look Shiro in the face.

"I guess... but come find me when your done. I need to tell you something important." I hear the slight urgency in his voice but write it off as adrenaline from our conversation. If this argument was provoked by that news then who knows what could happen when Shiro catches up to me again?

"Mmmhmm! Cross my Heart." I sarcastically call out as I run up, two stairs at a time.

><><><><><><><><

My fingers shake as I look in the mirror. I bring them up to my face to brush over the bruise and small cuts but immediately pull back with a hiss.

Even making that small sound terrifies me enough to check the locks for the seventh time on the bathroom door. If my father knew I was putting on makeup he would probably beat the crap out of me... again. But if I don't do this everyone will know, or people will ask a lot of questions I'm not in the mood for.

It's just easier this way. I need to work through the pain.

I push on the pump for the liquid foundation that's left over from my sister Veronica and smear it over my cheekbone quickly. Luckily it's the perfect shade, so once it's glopped on I brush the powder foundation over top.

Doesn't look too bad... it'll definitely fool everyone.

As I start washing my hands, I tap my phone to check the time and text Keith to make sure we can still talk. After all the craziness over the past few days I need to figure somethings out and then we won't have to speak again... at least I think that's what Keith wants. I just want to make a friend, a real friend, but he doesn't seem like the type.

Besides he always talks to Hunk and Katie... ummm Pidge, and they both probably hate me. They probably feed Keith information about how I left them and how terrible of a person I am... which isn't wrong. I wouldn't blame them for thinking that.

I tip toe towards my room to get dressed in my normal casual clothes, silently praying that I'll stay in the clear.

Step by step I creep down the staircase. So far I'm safe.

I put my hand on the doorknob and turn it slowly enough that you probably couldn't even see it moving, as my eyes scan the house.

There he was... passed out on the couch.

I sigh in relief and then, just like in a cliche movie, he starts to mumble and groan. I shut up real quick, contemplating what I should do if he comes over or where all my possible exits are but just as soon as he scared the shit out of me he fell back into silent slumber.

My grip tightened on the handle trying to stabilize shaky hands and I turn it all the way to leave. My sneakers greet the pavement of the driveway and I begin running before I'm late for my makeup shift. I already texted Allura before my shower and she said it would be fine and she could use the extra help.

Sprinting, running, rushing...

><><><><><><><

I watch as Lance checks the time on his phone before running down the sidewalk. What's so special about him?

Why have I recently kept jumping into unknown waters so quickly and unprepared that I'm practically rushing to get air. What is it about this boy that has me so confused?

Things about him don't add up.

Perfect people don't have issues. Perfect people don't smoke. Does perfection even exist? Have I been holding him to some sort of standard based on what I see when he's at school?

All he's asked of me is to stop judging a book by its cover. That what you see isn't necessarily what's staring back at you. That's all he's asked from me and I keep lashing out at him! He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't know about Pidge and I don't exactly know why he stopped talking to them.

I haven't stopped judging him and quite frankly I don't deserve to judge people after everything I've done in my life.

All the people I've hurt... and it's always been my fault. But he keeps trying! So... I should too.

I prop my head in between my hands, weaving my fingers between strands of Raven madness. It's kinda creepy that I just watched Lance leave his house but it's not like I'm following him yet... right?

He's probably rushing for his shift. At least he isn't sucking on a silver spoon... and there I go again.

I grunt in frustration and throw my head into my now folded arms. What's it going to take for this to just disappear? I can't solve this problem with violence and I don't want to... I just... *sigh* I don't even know what I want to do about this.

I've been faced with more difficult situations, this should be easy peasy lemon squeezy. I just can't figure out what makes this so much harder. Maybe it's the social interaction? Or the questions I'm scared he'll ask because of what he's seen?

An audible sigh escapes my throat as I sulk to my dresser in search of decent clothes. I grab my red and off white sweatshirt and throw on some dark blue jeans. My fingers act as my brush and comb through this tangled mop I call my hair.

I already showered before and brushed my teeth so I think I'm good with hygiene. My eyes glance around the room to see if I need anything else. I threw my backpack on the floor next to my desk when I walked in but I don't need it so I pocket my phone and wrap the headphones around my neck so I can listen to music.

I also grab my small bag with pencils and my books for later on at the Coffeehouse.

As I jog down the hall I slow down near Shiro's door. I think about knocking and I raise my hand to do it but stop.

He doesn't want to talk to you... Why would he want to associate himself with you in the first place? The only reason he's still around is because your his brother and he's too good of a person to do that. You tie him down... just leave him alone and stop being his problem!

At that I walk away. My head is right, I'm just his problem. I can talk to him later, he deserves some time to sleep after his all-nighter.

I slowly walk down the stairs so I don't wake Shiro and start my way down the street. Wet leaves and cloudy skies, wind tearing through my bones.

What could that mean.

><><><><><><><><

I sprint towards the door, a desperate attempt to escape. Four more steps...

Right as I reach out for the handle, rain pounds on my jacket, drenching me immediately. I quickly push the door open and walk in, wringing out my hair by twisting it in my hands.

Rain. It meant rain.

Just my luck that I'm a split second from beating the rain. I didn't even bring an umbrella so that's going to be fun walking home. It doesn't look like it's going to die down anytime soon but I have my sketchpad and journal so when I finish my conversation with Lance I can just draw till Allura kicks me out.

The strong scent of caffeine shoots up my nose and I take in the sight of the busy cafe. Dim lights help illuminate the different sections, as workers rush around to get everyone their orders and take them. Allura is busily rushing from the register to the drink machines, trying to multitask and people are crowded around tables laughing or complaining about service (which in hindsight is pretty disrespectful considering their circumstances). So far Lance isn't in sight... which sucks, not that it matters!

I stand there for a few minutes waiting. I don't know what I'm waiting for but I soon figure it out when Allura looks up and spots me, starting to make her way over in the process. A part of me feels guilty for making her go out of her way to seat me and the other part of me's happy to see her.

"Keith! What a surprise!" Allura came over and sent me a smile. I know she's a hugger but I really don't like physical affectionate contact. So no hugs or PDA (not that I'm with anyone at the moment).

I trust her but I'm just not comfortable with it all the time and she never really hugs me for that reason, maybe as a goodbye if she can tell I'm in a good mood but she's cautious when it comes to it, yet understanding and that's something to admire.

"Hey Allura. Yeah..." I trailed off trying to get off the topic of this surprise. I'm really not in the mood to be here right now. I don't know how I'm supposed to face him after yesterday... any of yesterday.

"So... are you ok?" Allura brings us to the side so we aren't in the middle of the walkway. I shrug trying to hide my emotions and nerves, glancing around to see where Lance is.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Keith..." Worry is laced in her voice as well as a push to just let it out. Considering how short the amount of time we've known each other is, Allura sure knows when I'm lying and she's very good at getting me to tell her (but only the small things).

"I'm fine Allura... really. I just wasn't having a good week but I'm fine now." She quirks a brow and I sigh out my response. She sympathetically perks up, but in a supportive way, and sends me a small smile.

"Well that's good. Let me get you to your usual table! I know you like how quiet it is." She full on smiles, pearlescent white teeth shining into my eyes. I avert my gaze and fixate it to the ground quickly then look back around the coffeehouse before following Allura to my table, still unable to locate Lance.

We sit down at the table, Allura in the chair across from me, and I give up my search. I'll worry about it later. If he shows up then we have to talk and I really don't want that so why am I looking in the first place?

"How are you? I talked to you yesterday but is anything interesting happening?" I clasp my hands together and turn my head up to look at Allura. Maybe read her expression? I'm not sure yet. She rolls her eyes and gets into her gossip mode...

"Ugh... Hunk had to reschedule his shift today for later tonight because of an emergency and usually I wouldn't mind but it's just so busy... talk about bad timing." I nod in agreement with her as I begin to relieve my books from the confinement of my bag. Pencils clanking together, fighting to reach my hand first.

"I forgot Hunk worked on Thursdays." I mumbled a little more so to myself than Allura but obviously she picked it up. I swear she's part bat or something because she could hear a pin being dropped a mile away.

I completely forgot Hunk works on these days. It's probably bad to think this but I'm glad Hunk couldn't make it. I don't want to have to explain to him that I'm here meeting up with Lance.

"Yeah... Him and Lance kinda flipped schedules for today. Hunk and I get off early from school because of work release and sometimes Hunk or Lance will pick up shifts before school." She explained waving her hand at her side.

"That's cool. Do they even know they're working together?" I try to keep my mind focused on the conversation but I'm keep zoning in and out. I don't know how I'm supposed to work when I can't even pay attention... guilt is kind of taking advantage of me.

"I don't think so... there schedules are always on different days or different shifts so I don't think they've run into each other." I look up from my lap to find Allura twiddling a pencil between her fingers, probably aware that I haven't been paying much attention.

"Yeah... Allura?"

"Hmm?" She puts the pencil on the table in front of her and lends me her ears.

"I'm sorry... that, you know, I can't help out around here." My hands shake underneath the table. Feeling useless has always been triggering to me. When people tell me I'm lazy or I don't do as much as I could. I can't help but apologize to Allura for not being able to help her and for continuously making excuses as to why.

I don't apologize often. I'm not very good at acknowledging my feelings and emotions in the right ways... but at least I'm able to admit that to myself right?

"I understand, don't worry about it." She let a small smile crawl onto her lips and I suppose she wanted it to look genuine but my head was making it seem like it was just a cover. She has every right to be mad at me, or disown my friendship. I don't deserve to be her friend. I don't deserve anything at all and I certainly don't deserve her acceptance.

"But I just kinda feel guilty when I see all these people and you have to deal with them understaffed." I start to organize the books in front of me so I'm able to keep my hands busy while trying to use this as a metaphorical way to organize my thoughts.

Allura reaches her hands over the table and calmly takes my quivering hands into her own, trying to stabilize me.

"Keith listen to me... focus on trying to get better. When you're able to manage all of this then there will be a job ready for you here. Just keep yourself healthy ok?" More smiles... I need to think this over. I'm keeping Allura from her work and she's already way understaffed... maybe I could work on something else? When there aren't so many people around or where I don't have to interact to much with other humans.

"Ok... thanks again, so is Lance here?"

"Yep! Why... you wanna talk to him?" She lifted her eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner and I groaned hiding my face, and small smirk, behind my hands. I get my bearings and take a small breath before answering her in a mannerly voice.

"Don't even let your mind wander that far Allura. It's a civil conversation. I promised him yesterday." I rolled my eyes at her antics.

"MMHmmm... Well I'll send him over when the crowd goes down ok? In the mean time I'll make you a deal, if your up for the challenge." My eyes dart to hers, immediately intrigued.

"What kind of challenge?" I intertwine my fingers together on the table, leaning forward slightly.

"We need a new logo for the coffeehouse. It doesn't even officially have a name. So... do you think you could design it? I know your great with art!" Her eyes shimmered with hope and something else I couldn't quite place. I tapped my pointer finger on my left temple in dramatic contemplation before crossing my arms over my chest, smirk still in place.

"And what's on my end of the bargain?"

"Umm... my undying friendship and loyalty?" I lift one of my brows sending her an is that all look while playfully tapping the table.

"Ugh... I'll give you a free Black Coffee today and pay off your tab." My eyes widened. Wow she really wants this. And from me? I'm not even that good. That seems like a little much but she really wants this and she gives me free coffee anyways so why not?

I stall for a few seconds to build suspense. I swear Allura looked like she were about to start biting her fingernails.

"Now that sounds like a deal I can get behind."

"THANK U KEEF!!!!!!" She jumps up and heads to my side of the table to pull me up and give me a hug.

"Ok! Alright.... now were hugging." Usually when I have this much on my mind I don't like giving hugs but Allura's got that sibling aura. Her hugs are warm and protective, it feels like I can't be vulnerable when I'm confined to the space in her arms.

I pull in a little more and smile slightly just taking in the feeling of relief. She pulls away steadily and I do the same, dropping my arms to my sides as she sends one last simper my way and sashays off towards the register, relieving some poor girl from having to deal with an angry customer.

I pull my chair out slightly and sit down only to pull it back in so I can begin working on this logo.

><><><><><><><

Rainwater still pools into drops on the fogged glass. The panes still taking abuse from the rough winds and somewhat flickering lights. The skies are growing darker, the clouds shifting from a light grey to a charcoal tinted black.

I get a few texts from Shiro, mostly him asking if I'm ok with the storm and if I'm somewhere safe which I replied reassuringly. Some of his texts also consisted of apologies for springing that 'therapy idea' up out of nowhere.

Those texts just made me feel guilty.

I've been waiting for a while, just doodling away in my sketchbook trying to create a logo that would work well for the vibes the coffeehouse gives off. As I finish off a seventh outline, a cup of coffee is set on the table in front of me.

In a white hot chocolate mug which is kind of odd considering they usually only use take out cups. A little white froth bubbles over the side of the cup leaving a few vertical tan streaks along the wall of white. I also realize that cinnamon is dotted on what I'm assuming is whip cream...

This is hot chocolate.

It's only then that I realize who's serving it to me. My eyes trail caramel skin from calloused fingertips to delicate wrists. Wrists to elbows. Elbows to what I assume is a shoulder sprinkled with maple and dark chocolate shaded freckles. All rising to a chin, below thin pink lips, traveling up to a sharp nose, and those eyes.

Blue eyes. Dark blue. But this blue is... misty?

Something's not right.

"Those are really good." He sends me a smile and sits down. That's when I notice the coffeehouse is empty. My eyes fall onto Lance who's now sitting down across from me. He notices my confusion because I guess I was a little too 'in the zone' before and he kinda explains it.

"Oh! Allura closed early because of the storm and she told me to lock up, but said we could talk first." Lance swings the keys around his finger until he drops them and quickly pics them up off the floor, whistling like nothing happened.

"Huh... didn't think you were gonna end up showing." I smirked and closed my sketchbook.

"What do you take me for mullet?" I sent him a death glare and dropped my pencil.

"Don't call me that."

"Anyways..." He draws out the word then proceeds to continue his question.

"What exactly do you want to talk about?" I look over at him, still trying to figure out what's not in place. His clothes seem fine, attitude is his own normal, and I can't see anything out of the ordinary now but something just doesn't feel right about him.

I let my eyes drift South and they land on the empty table space in front of Lance. Now I've always been self conscious about eating or drinking in front of people so I usually don't unless they're eating with me.

"Well first you should get something to drink too," I point to the empty space and he looks down to see it too.

"No I'm fi-" I cut him off quickly. Seriously, I'm pretty sure he hasn't had any liquids today, he's been working nonstop. Not that I care about him or anything... I just don't want to deal with him if he passes out.

"I never drink alone."

"Fine I'll be right back." He dramatically pushes himself off the seat and saunters off, probably to go make his drink. A part of me feels a little remorseful for making him stand up and make something but it's for his own good.

I grab all my supplies and stuff it in my bag so he doesn't see any more of my drawings and criticize them. I know they're not good and I don't need him asking about them again... besides it saves me the time so I don't have to do it before I leave.

My eyes wander back down to the hot cocoa he made me. I mean it's his job but I didn't ask for it, how did he even know I liked hot chocolate? Probably Allura. I wrap my fingers around the burning white of the mug and take in the scent. Cinnamon and chocolate always smell good together... and is that Peppermint? That's always been a secret pleasure of mine... how did he know about that? I bring it up to my lips and go to take a sip but my eyes widen in surprise as whip cream attaches itself to my nose.

I ignore it for the moment and continue relishing in the numerous flavors of the concoction. My tastebuds tingle at the taste and it's got Almond milk... Allura told him of my allergy? I wonder what else Allura's told him about me. It's amazing. Usually I put soy milk in my Cocoa but this tastes even better... I've got to get hot cocoa from Lance more often.

As I pull the cup away from my mouth and lick my lips Lance walks back over. I put the cup back down quickly hoping he didn't notice I was drinking it. He stops in front of the table and laughs to himself. I look up and he rubs his nose, at first I'm confused till I remember the whip cream. I probably crossed my eyes to get a better look by accident which just caused him to laugh more.

I quickly wipe it away and hide my face in my jacket. My eyes are still visible so I can see despite the hair falling in front of them. At this moment I notice Lance isn't in his uniform anymore. He's wearing an army green jacket with a light grey hood and a navy blue T-shirt underneath. He's not wearing the hat anymore so his hair is a little messy like he just woke up, but it's not bad and I'm pretty sure this jacket he's wearing are one of those ones that have the gloves attached. The gloves are a darker brown so they look nice against his skin... umm... they're just gloves though, nothing too special.

I notice I'm staring and look away, only for my eyes to land on his cup. White tea? That's an... interesting and unexpected choice. I thought he would pick something really sugary like a macchiato or a latte. They're very high in sugar and caffeine. Maybe he would at least have something with caramel, but he just made plain White Raspberry tea. I can read it on the tag hanging from the lip of the cup. I know white tea is supposed to break down body fats and help people who want to be a little thinner, I mean that's what I used to drink the tea for but he doesn't need that. 

Does he not realize how skinny he is already? If he keeps losing weight he'll look like a stick figure. Is he not eating anything on purpose? Is there a reason he chose this drink? Does he have an eating disorder? No it can't be that bad can it? I'm way overthinking things. 

I'm pulled from my thoughts by Lance's voice, but I still hide my face.

"Ok, I got my drink are you happy now?" He smirks and my eyes dash to the side in thought, brows probably furrowed.

I don't know.

><><><><><><><><

I come back to the table and so far it's been quieter than I expected. We talked maybe a sentence to one another and then silence suffocated the both of us. I'm trying to keep my eyes in numerous places so I don't get yelled at for staring, even though Keith was just zoning out on me before.

Speaking of Keith, I lift my eyes from the plastic lid of my To-go cup and take in the sight before me, even though it goes against what I just tried to prevent myself from doing. He's hiding in his zippered jacket, nose and mouth completely obstructed from view probably, still embarrassed that I caught him with whipped cream on his nose. His eyes are the only part of his face in view, I can tell cause he keeps suddenly switching his focus between me and my drink.

Eventually I realize he wants me to take a sip so I pick it up slowly and bring it to my mouth, using my tongue to block the hole so I don't drink anything. That seemed to put him at ease a little and he lowered his jacket a bit so he could take another small sip, still to the side like he's trying to hide the fact that he's drinking something.

After he puts his cup back down I attempt to break up the awkward quietude.

"What about this. Since I know we both have questions, what about we each ask one and then switch off." I use my hands to motion my idea while leaning my elbows on the table.

"What, like twenty questions? Isn't that a first date game?" Keith raises one eyebrow skeptically and sends me a small smirk.

"Not if you don't think of it that way. But I guess it's like twenty questions." I wave my hand around from the wrist down to play off my idea.

"Alright..." His eyes slant a little as he continues to wear that expression, the one that makes it look like he's trying to figure me out. Well maybe now's his chance to get a little closer.

"I guess I'll go first then." I volunteer and dramatically stroke my imaginary beard before blurting out a question.

"What's your favorite color?" I already know what it is, well what is was on Monday but I'm curious today.

"Real creative" Keith sassily remarks, lacing his words in heavy sarcasm.

"I know right." He just rolls his eyes at my answer and gives in to my confidence and charm (XD).

"Maroon." Wait really? I mean I see him wearing red all the time but I just assumed it was part of his 'look'. It's not a bad color to like but I just never thought it would be something as simple and obvious as Maroon. Actually come to think of it Maroon's a pretty specific kind of red...

"Huh... why?" Keith cuts me off by waving his finger back and forth and calling me on my question. At least now I know he's paying attention, or at least taking the game seriously.

"Not so fast... that's a second question genius."

"Didn't mean to anger you Prince Emo. Mine's Blue." I do a bowing down gesture and look back up at Keith who's crossing his arms in front of his chest and scowling... as usual.

"I'm not emo." He deadpans, obviously not amused by this new nickname I created for him.

"Tell that to the emo gods." I think a part of Keith was wondering how I even knew what an emo god was and the other half was kinda just going along with it now.

"Ok I guess I have to ask a typical question now?"

"Hit me." I bang on my chest to signal that I'm ready and he starts his thinking process.

It actually looks like Keith is putting some thought into this question. Is he actually nervous to ask the wrong question or one that's not good enough? I watch the structure of his face as it contorts into one of sheer focus and concentration. I was about to jump in when he slowly let the words spill from the corners of his lips, pronouncing each word with caution and insecurity.

"What's one thing you've always wanted to see, and why?" He added that last part abruptly, little cheater. He asked two questions and I could give him a red flag for that but I'm feeling generous today so I'll play nice. It's an interesting first question. I thought he'd ask my favorite animal or something.

I already know my answer. I've always known because it's where I plan to go when I graduate High School.

"The Ocean."

"And why?" He raises his brows a little, somewhat intrigued with what I have to say. I pause for a moment, pretending to think as a way to build up suspense but while I try to get a reaction out of Keith, a part of me really is trying to organize my thoughts on the matter.

"I've always loved the idea of the Ocean. My family would tell me stories about the things they've done and seen... I've just always been interested. When I get out of school thats the first place I want to go." I played around with my hands on the counter, letting my fingers brush along my knuckles and just used that as the grounds for where my words were coming from.

"That... actually sounds nice." His eyes widened in surprise, probably because he thinks I'm some stupid flirt. His eyes avoided mine, when he spoke and the ghost of a smile lingered on his light pink lips.

"And you doubted me?" I scoffed in sarcastic pain, holding my hands to my heart.

"Is that your question?" Keith's head was still faced down but he brought his eyes up to look at mine. His ravenette hair was still falling nonchalantly across his face making the violets of his eye burst into a symphony of colors. He has pretty nice eyes, it's a rare color and I've never seen that on anyone before but that's beside the point. I was ripped from my thoughts by the question in his facial features and the slight smirk taking hold of his mouth.

"Umm... No." I said, slightly dazed. I'm assuming he brushed off my change in demeanor because he just waved a dismissive hand and motioned for me to ask my question.

"What is your favorite thing to draw?" His incredulity in my question should have been my indicator for an answer, but he again avoided any form of contact with me by looking out the window, his hair cover the half of his face I couldn't see. He seems fairly shy but then again you can't judge a person by the kinds of things they choose to show people...

"I don't... really know..." His voice was failing him as an adversary. He looked deep in thoughts that didn't include this conversation or my presence.

The tone he used was confused, and a mixture of other emotions that weren't even directed towards me as an answer, but more of a question for himself to decipher in his head. I could feel my own brows furrowing and I don't like the kind of vibes Keith's giving off at the moment. I plaster a small smile on my face and try to reassure him that it's not that important of a question and that he's fine with whatever he tells me. I already know I won't judge and he doesn't need a simple question to destroy him inside.

"Oh come on. What do you doodle all the time in your notebooks in class? Just something that interests you enough to want to continuously draw it." My voice is soft and he looks over at me, the reflection of raindrops cascading across the glossy purple apatite pigment in his irises. He shows signs of hesitation but after a few more silent moments of contemplation he sighs.

"You wouldn't know what it is even if I explained it... I don't even know what it is." He looks down at his lap and I can see the slight shake in his hands that he tried to stabilize. I just accept it, let's just move on from the subject. If something like this is affecting him so much then there's no point in trying to squeeze the information from his fingertips.

"Ok." I show off a simper before letting him continue with a question of his own.

"What genre of music do you like the most?" Huh... that's hard! Ughh... I don't even know. I like so many kinds! I couldn't list them off with my fingers even if I wanted to. I wouldn't say Alternative because I'm not a fan of everything but I like things that make me feel emotion. Things that you wouldn't think I like to listen to could potentially be some of my favorites.

"I mean... I like all genres. If it makes me feel something then I'll listen to it more than once. But my favorites might probably be something soft or maybe something with a nice beat drop. I don't know. I'm all over the place with music, so I guess it depends on how I feel at the moment." I like your music... but it's not like I can say that right?

Just go up to Keith and be like 'I unintentionally and silently stalk you from my bedroom and lean against the wall under my window just listening to your singing and guitar playing. Oh! That's a compliment by the way!' yeah that wouldn't be creepy at all.

"Huh. Weird."

"If that's so weird then tell me what you like to listen to!" Fake hurt laces my voice as I smirk. He interjects with the shaking of his head.

"No. It's weird that I do the same thing. I mean I think my favorites would be Panic!, TØP, MCR, FOB-" This time I interrupt him with my own interpretation of where this conversation is going.

"So emo bands."

"That doesn't make me emo!" He throws his hands up in the air dramatically and I try to suppress my laughter.

"Just keep telling yourself that."

"Oh shut up and ask your question!" He huffs and crosses his arms. This time I let the sound of my amusement escape my lips and encircle the atmosphere to die down the intensity from before.

"Anxious are we?" I look up at him and his cheeks seem slightly rosy all of a sudden but that's probably because it's really warm in here. He grunts and rolls his eyes while looking down and pursing his lips. He waves his hands, which I'm guessing he does a lot, signaling for me to get on with the question.

"Ok ok. Are you able to speak Spanish?" It's something I've been wondering about since that first day. I try to keep my expression blank and borderline serious. This answer could mean so many things depending on what he says. He could know about everything, if he understood I know he's smart enough to string the pieces together.

His eyes intently scan my face, searching for something that obviously I'm oblivious to. He quickly answers me, probably because my eyes tell so many stories that I unfortunately can't hide. That's probably the one thing I hate about having bright eyes.

"Umm... A little. But I haven't practiced for a while. I can't understand people who talk too fast but I can hold a basic conversation with someone. And if you're asking because of what happened on the first day of school then the answer is no. I didn't understand enough to put a sentence together, only a few words... 'Please' and 'belt'. Yeah those were the words. What does that mean?" Keith's eyes have probably spent more time facing his lap than my general direction this entire encounter, but can I blame him? Not exactly.

I think I let a small sigh of relief out because all the build up over those past weeks was for nothing. Something still doesn't make sense to me though. If Keith didn't understand what I said then why did he avoid me all this time? Again I don't blame him for not wanting to be around me, hell I don't even want to be around myself but he literally went out of his way to avoid me. He took more difficult routes if it meant staying out of my sight and that kinda hurt.

"Nothing important. Ok... why-" I half-mindfully opened my mouth to ask another question but apparently it isn't my turn.

"Wait it's my turn!"

"But you just asked me a question." My mouth was hanging open in slight disbelief but mostly hilarity.

"That didn't count!" His voice raised in pitch and I just gave him the benefit of the doubt. If he's willing to work this hard to ask me a question then why not right?

"Fine... ask away Mulletman." I gesture for him to proceed by making myself look noticeably relaxed on my side of the table. His eyes seemed to glint and glaze over with a burning desire. I guess the questions are going to start getting a little more personal huh.

"Why did you start smoking?" oh.

"Oh." I laugh nervously bringing my hand to the back of my neck. I bite on my lip for a split second trying to think of something to say. I lean on the elbows getting a little closer to Keith from across the table. My hand rises to my face and I put it to the side of my mouth to hide the sound of my voice from the spirits in the empty cafe as I whisper.

"Try not to say that too loud. I don't need everyone finding out." Keith motions around the coffeehouse showing me that it's empty and no one could hear us even if they wanted to. Needless to say, I felt really dumb that I got so caught up in my thoughts, I failed to notice the shop was abandoned, aside from Keith and I. I sighed and wracked my brain for a brief explanation.

A very brief explanation.

"It's kind of like a way to... cope, with stress and life I guess." A chuckle was mixed into the end of my sentence and Keith took my answer.

"Your turn..." He huffed. Well actually is was more of a tired sigh but at least it wasn't his usual grunting.

"When was the last time you got some decent sleep?" I pointed to his face, indicating that he's not fooling anyone. His skin is pretty pale and he has bags under his eyes, which are pretty puffy.

"Well I... not in a long time." Keith seems surprised when he says that aloud, like this is the first time he's admitted to himself that he doesn't get a lot of sleep.

"Aww! You gotta give me more than that!"

"Oh come on, couldn't you tell when you saw me this morning?" Keith mocks.

"That... wait. You saw me?" I was about to counter his argument till I realized what he said. I had no idea he even noticed me. I swear he didn't see me when I closed my curtains and he wasn't looking at me while I was staring this morning.

"How stupid does someone have to be to not notice someone staring at them." he deadpanned. I realized that I couldn't exactly talk myself out of this one, so I just explained the situation best I could without giving too much away.

"It wasn't intentional. I was closing my blinds so I could get changed and you happened to be waking up, I was just curious. It didn't look like a good dream." Keith physically tensed and let out a breathy laugh. Did I say the wrong thing? Oh god.

"If you could magically give me good dreams I would give you anything in a heartbeat. One night of peace sounds like heaven." Keith says this under his breath and silence weighs on the coffeehouse like a thick blanket of snow, well rain in our case. For a while things stay like that. Both of us seem to be in different worlds. We wait roughly fifteen minutes before Keith asks his next question.

"What's wrong?" His eyes make their way to mine, for once holding contact. Purple diamonds fusing to salted blue.

"What?"

"You seem... off... today." His eyes dart down quickly to the cooled drink in his hands, he looks like he wants to take a sip but decides against it, looking back at me.

Something about his question made me, snap in a way. He's been talking about me not knowing anything about Pidge and Hunk, and he's been making false accusations based on the judgements he harbors towards me.

"And you know me well enough to figure that out?" My voice ringing, rich in annoyance and disbelief. Maybe a little fear, towards if he's figured out that I'm wearing makeup and what lies beneath the foundation.

"Don't get pissy. You told me to ask a question and I did." He retorts bitterly and defensively. I cross my arms and try to calm down by breathing and relaxing my tensed shoulders.

"Well I'm fine." I mumble out, done with this topic.

"Bullshit!" He slams his fist on the table making me jump but I quickly recover and plaster a smirk on my face.

"Wrong game Keith." He rolls his eyes for the hundredth time and grunts, so basically were back to normal Keith stuff.

"Whatever. Your turn I guess." He murmurs and I take that as a sign to continue.

"Ok since we went a little easy on the first few rounds what about we step it up a little?" I make direct eye contact and his Adam's apple bobs, so that's a good indication of his nervousness for this round. I mean I'm kind of curious to see where this could be going, most of it is pretty sure it won't end well but I'll never know if I don't try right?

"O... Ok." Keith's words come out slightly stuttered and I decide to ask my question, something that's been itching at the back of my mind for a while.

"So... Allura told me you have depression-" I started and he cut me off with something to the equivalent of a growl.

"Allura!I figured as much... I'm gonna kill her!"

"Is it true?" I try to stay as serious as possible and keep my brow from rising. I don't want to give Keith the wrong idea, but if he really does have depression then I don't want to accidentally trigger something by asking these questions.

"What do you think Lance? I almost threw myself off a fucking bri-"

"Actually you did throw yourself off a fucking bridge." It's like my body took over, again. I didn't even register the words that came out of my mouth until I saw Keith's face. He seemed terrified, he still looks like he's seen a ghost but he quickly replaces it with numerous emotions, including a hint of anger that melted into thought.

Soon he sighed and took a deep breath. I gave him plenty of time and room to continue, trying not to move too much, because in all honesty I have no idea how this is gonna pan out.

"Lance we would be here forever if I listed to you everything that's wrong with me, everything sinful thing I've done, every life I've ruined." His voice was monotoned and devoid of emotion.

Shit I messed up! Damnit! I knew this was gonna end bad. Ugh why do I do this? This is why he doesn't talk to me right? I seem like such an inconsiderate jerk to him right now. But a part of me is still curious about Keith's past. I don't want to just get to know him for that reason alone, but it's definitely something of interest.

"Keith I'm sorry, it kinda just wrapped itself around my mind. I didn't thin-" And without any regard for the fact that I wasn't done speaking he jumped in.

"My turn." He slams his hand on the table bringing me to attention.

"Why did you pull me back? When I jumped." He sat up leaving behind the screeching echo of his metal chair on the oakwood floor.

"Keith..."

"How did you even know I was going to jump is the real question!" He leaned over the counter till he was halfway to me, stopping in the middle. That's when I had enough. I just need this to all stop! This conversation just needs to end on a good note, I just need to fix it right? Put the pieces back together... I need to be the glue. I just need to explain.

"I don't know! Something didn't feel right, you literally apologized to me in Spanish and ran out of the Coffeehouse crying only for me to find out that I'm one of the only people that have ever seen you cry and it's happened twice Keith. I don't know why the fuck I saved you but I did and I'm glad I did because if I knew you were jumping and I didn't do anything I don't think I'd be able to live with myself." Our noses were inches apart and we both mirrored one another's stance trying to make our points.

We stayed like that for the longest time, just staring at one another. Both our eyes searching the enemies for some intel on what the next move should be, some idea of what the other's thinking or feeling.

"So it was a conscience thing." Keith tilts his head down and to the side, starting to move his way off the table and back to his chair when I burst out. I have too much built up right now and it needs to go somewhere.

"God! Why can't you see that people actually care about you! Why Keith?! Shiro cares about you, so does Allura, and Hunk, and Pidge. I care about you!" He's just a friend but that doesn't make my statement any less true. During all this I move closer and closer.

His eyes widen for different reasons, one of which I hope he hasn't realized yet. When that thought hit my mind and the words Keith spoke comprehended in my head... I immediately pulled back and sat back down, posture straight at a needle and eyes forward.

"You don't even know me!" He retorts before I move back. The flame of his anger hissing in his throat and causing him to spit up words of nonsense. He's said this same thing before in one of our previous disagreements but I highly doubt it's the time to correct him.

My mouth felt like it no longer had the power to move or open let alone speak. I just sat expressionless taking in his presence and the things he threw my way.

"You didn't even know I existed last school year! You only talked to me this year because we share a fucking locker. Then in the span of only these past three weeks you think were best friends. I almost ended up beating you so bad that you would have needed to go to the ER and only on the first day of school!" I flinch back slightly at the mention of that day, that encounter that's caused the both of us so much trouble.

Is that what he feels guilty about? Is that why he avoided me for so long? It wasn't his fault. I crossed an invisible line that I wasn't aware he set and, I don't blame him for being mad at me.

Keith takes in another deep breath and closes his eyes, running his fingers through his thick black hair. He ends up sitting again with his eyes closed digging the palms of his hands into his eyes harshly.

His next words sound broken and choppy, they almost make me want to cry just hearing them.

Almost.

"How can you tolerate me? Why haven't you left yet like everyone else? You aren't bound to me. I don't have to ruin your life too." His voice is barely above a whisper then he slams his fist into the table causing my heart to practically rip itself from my chest in surprise. I'm frozen... what am I supposed to do in situations like this?

Take it? But this is different right? This isn't my father... this is foreign territory.

"Am I crying? Fuck. You probably think I'm weak, I mean you'd be right but still..." Keith looks up at me and releases a heart wrenching mixture of laughter, sobs, and screams. All the noises quiet enough not to disturb the life outside the coffeehouse. He's low-key hysteric at this point.

"Goddamnit." Keith has his hands wracking through his hair, so close to pulling it out but I grab his hands slowly to get him to stop.

"Keith! Just... stop. Why are you beating yourself up like this?" I try to stabilize the shake in his fingers by lightly squeezing his hands. All the while Keith pretends I never said anything, or he possibly didn't hear me.

"I've always been weak. I've never been strong enough. I thought I could hold it together you know? I only started breaking on the first day of school." He removes my hands from his carefully and slowly. Dropping them after a few seconds of him mindlessly rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

He begins to grab his bag and as I sit back down in my original tense position, he stops, standing next to me. We avoid eye contact and it seems kinda like the setup for some shady drug deal.

"When I met you." Keith goes to walk away but as he continues to pass I desperately grab his wrist, not even looking at him. I don't even know why I did it, his hand just laid limp in my palms, like I'm cradling the hands of the dead. I don't know where Keith's mind is right now. I don't know where Keith plans to go when he walks out those doors but as he stands motionless with his head hanging, I let go.

I wait for the bell to the door to ring it's cheery tune at the wrong moment and when it finally does I throw my head in my hands trying to comprehend what just happened.

Maybe ten minutes go by, fifteen, I wouldn't really know. But as I stare blankly towards the falsely aged travel coffeecup my hands reach to grab it. I drink a little of it so my body still gets the water it needs to survive and so I don't get beat for going to the hospital for dehydration.

Plus the fat loss the white tea provides will make me thinner and maybe I won't be fat anymore, and he'll finally be pleased with something I've done.

Five more sips than it's down the drain.

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I ran out of there quickly. Why do I keep falling apart when I'm around Lance? He probably hates me and he unfortunately has to live next to me.

I check my phone and read through messages from Shiro telling me not to forget my prescription. Reluctantly, I change my direction and head towards the Pharmacy, basically running because it's still raining cats and dogs and I still lack an umbrella.

Soon I'm turning a few corners and running through maybe two green lights, rushing so I'm not too drenched by the time I get there. Eventually the neon sign in my peripheral gets me to change corse as I make the last turn towards the building.

The sliding door opens as I run towards it, making it inside the fairly empty store. I try my hardest to keep my balance instead of sliding when the tiles collide with my wet sneakers. The fluorescent lights are killing my eyes and I give myself a second to adjust before making my way through the aisles.

I lazily walk through the rows, scanning the shelves for anything I don't feel like looking for later. My legs keep up the pace till something catches my eye and my body stops. A take a few steps forward and pull something off the shelf.

'2-in-1 Shampoo Conditioner: Ocean Breeze' and next to it is a bottle of Coconut scented body wash. I decide to buy both of them and make my way to the medicine counter.

"Hello. Do you have a name?" What the fuck do you think?

A woman with a doctors coat turned towards me. She has short straight brown hair as well as green eyes and pale skin. She seems like she's in her 30's or 40's with a few moles on her face and lowriding sideways oval shaped glasses. 

"Umm... Keith Kogane?"

"Identification please." I groan but pull out my wallet and my license. I throw it on the desk and she picks it up irritatedly. The woman examines it for a few minutes before typing a few things in the computer harshly, handing it back during the process.

"You were prescribed with Estazolam. I advise you to follow the instructions to the letter. Your next refill will be ready in exactly 30 days. The same goes for your Prozac refill." She sends me a look (you know like a rich lady side glancing you like she see's you as lower class or something). She throws out a sheet with the pen attached to the clipboard, because someone really wants to steal your stupid pen.

I must be in a shitty mood, usually snobby people don't boil my blood this much.

"Please sign here to confirm purchase and date." I just scribble a signature and date not really caring what it says or looks like. I then realize there's a stand with umbrella's on it next to the window and I grab a red one.

"I'm also buying this." I toss it on the counter and she looks like she wants to quit but rings it up anyway. I also put my toiletries on the table so she can check them too.

"Ok since you have insurance, your medications will only be $60 combined and your umbrella is $15. Your Shampoo and Body wash are on sale right now so they shouldn't be too much only $5 for both of them." Jesus Holywater! This is highway robbery. Good thing I have money saved up.

I throw eighty dollars on the counter and take the umbrella out of the plastic bag along with the signature orange bottles, simultaneously pulling off the tags.

My bag is still unzipped so I place the bottle and my wallet inside before zipping it up again and walking away.

"You have a wonderful day Mr. Kogane." I don't answer, I just walk away.

When I get outside the rain is only at a slight drizzle. I was about to look like a psychopath because of how shitty my luck is.

I payed $15 for this fucking umbrella and by hell I'm going to use it.

Starting the walk home I begin to make my way downtown towards the houses. Towards Lance's house with my umbrella in hand, rainbow above my head. 

I am not looking forward to tomorrow's detention, not after that.

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I hope you enjoyed! 

Lance and Keith haven't finished their game :X