My blood ran cold when he stopped dead in his tracks.

Hand was hovering in front of the doorknob... only a few small movements and he could have left but he just stopped. I should have kept my mouth shut because this obviously isn't going to end well. He didn't even turn around before he spoke... his words, cold as hail in a blizzard.

"What do you mean... you don't know what you did wrong?" His voice was almost a whisper and it began to crack at the end of his question. I swallowed the limited saliva in my mouth and tried to think of what to say.

"Why am I such a problem to you?" I asked in a low voice, dreading his answer.

"You really want to know why?" No, not anymore. Keith's voice began to shake as he spoke and that was the moment I realized I was in for... something. 

"Because you act like you know everyone, like you've never hurt anyone. You act like your life is this picture perfect dream and I'm sick of being around people who have is so good off!" As he spoke he just stood there, his hand had dropped to his side and he was still faced towards the door. Around the end of his sentence he turned around.

"Are you serious? I thought we were past all this?! Have our talks meant nothing? Did they go in one ear and out the other?! This isn't just another one of Mr. Ulaz's lectures Keith!" My own words surprised me. I didn't mean to offend him but it's like my internal faucet broke and the words are just flowing out.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He began walking forward as he got closer he jabbed his finger toward my chest, trying to make his point.

"Exactly what is sounds like! You think the world's against you but it's not!" I throw my hands up a little to emphasize my point. Honestly my body is on autopilot right now and I'm stuck on the other side of the glass. It's like watching a train wreck without being able to do anything to prevent it. 

"I never said that!" Disbelief and pursuasion laced his face but at this point I wasn't paying too much attention to his reactions. 

"You didn't have to! You make it pretty clear when you start drama." If I were looking in a mirror I feel like I'd see horns and eyes filled to the brim with smoldering embers.

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" He became more desperate each comeback but I wasn't about to stop.

"Have you ever tried doing anything with your time to avoid that? Like, I don't know, getting a job?" At this point I'm willing myself to just shut the fuck up but I can't seem to stop. I'm digging the both of us into a grave for the bud of our friendship that's beginning to wilt again.

"I can't..." His voice was barely above a whisper, he looked like a little kid scared out of his mind. Like his father's about to come back with the belt and finish him off... 

"This is real life Keith, and you can't just tune it out and pretend you're the epitome of innocence!" If I wanted to say anything after that, I doubt I could have. 

"But I'm not!!" His reply made the both of us stand still as the room was overcome with silence. I was staring wide eyed at him, his voice practically rattled the whole building. I'm surprised Allura isn't rushing in to see if someone needs medical attention after that. Keith's heavy breathing was the only thing making any sound, like the breathing a person would be suffering from after running a marathon you weren't physically prepared for.

Tears were dripping on the floor and he held his head down. Probably trying to hide his emotions from me. 

"I'm not innocent. I'm far from it. If you tried to drag me into a church I'd burn because I've sinned enough to be considered the Devil himself. I want to work, Allura keeps offering me a job here, but I turn her down every time because I can't work! Did you ever think of that?"

"Did it ever cross your mind that I'm not perfect Keith? Don't try to guilt trip me with your sob story because you're just as bad as me." God damnit Lance! Just shut the fuck up!

"What?" His voice sounds terrified and tired, but I can't stop myself. I want to... so fucking bad, but I can't do it.

"You have this idea engraved in your mind that I'm a barbie girl living in this perfect fucking world. Well I'm not, in case you haven't noticed. But I'm not about to tell you my life story to prove a point." I want to bang my head against the wall. I want to tell Keith that this isn't me talking but it is! He can see that and so can I.

"That's not what I'm doing!" I know it's not! I just can't stop!

"Well it seems like exactly what you're doing to me! Nothing warranted this argument but disagreements seem to follow you wherever you go! It's like a storm cloud is always hovering above you." What's wrong with me?

"Just-" Don't listen to me Keith! Please just walk away!

"And what do you do? You take it out on everyone around you! My life has nothing to do with you so why does my existence bother you so much?" Stop! Just shut up!

"It doesn't! That's not-" We're going in a loop. This is just like before the beginning of our argument and I'm adding gasoline to the fire. 

"Keith! Just stop! I don't want to listen to your excuses!" My thoughts began to mix with what I was saying and that didn't exactly help. It made the situation a lot worse. Worse to the point that Keith finally snapped, which snapped me out of autopilot... or so I thought.

"You're not even letting me finish a fucking sentence Lance!" I shut up after that. He continued and came close enough to the point where he had to look up to meet my eyes. Our chests were inches apart. 

"I'm tired of being pushed aside, I'm tired of being rejected, of being thrown around, and used! Honestly I don't give a shit about what people do to me anymore, you can't break what's already broken! But when you mess with one of the few people I care about, you better fucking bet I have a problem with it." Is that what this is about? The conversation we had on Monday in the hallway? 

He was ready to break down. I was pretty sure he was going to drop to his knees and cry his eyes out. I wanted to hold him and at least give him a hug but there was something more to his words.

Like an idiot I said the first thing that came to mind and the most monotonous and hushed tone.

"Well your about to become a problem of mine if you don't stop making assumptions." His eyes went wide and he brought his head up to look at my eyes... he must have seen a monster. I wouldn't blame him, but I will never forget what he did next.

He hugged me.

It wasn't some hug that he was going to form into a chokehold or something... this was a genuine hug and I was beyond confused at this gesture. His embrace was so warm, his hair was tickling my neck and it was so soft it didn't feel real. 

I didn't even have time to hug him back because of the state of shock I was in. It didn't last longer than a few seconds and in that time he was able to whisper into my ear. I could feel his breath caressing the side of my face, trying to apologize along with the verbal apology he gave but I knew I didn't deserve it.

"Lo siento. Lo siento mucho." 

"Wait..." Then he ran out of the break room. I stood there dumbfounded. I have no idea what just happened. 

Why did he say sorry? I thought he didn't know Spanish? Why did he hug me?

I feel like such an asshole. Shit. What I said was so uncalled for. I eventually walked out of the break room to see a confused and pissed off Allura.

"What the hell just happened in there? I heard arguing and then Keith came out crying... you actually made Keith Kogane cry?" She had her arms over her chest and by the way she said it Keith doesn't cry very often, well in public at least. I've already seen him cry twice just this week. 

"I have no idea Allura, can I just go clean some tables or something?" Her attitude changed and she looked at me a little more sympathetically before nodding and pointing to a small table in the back.

I made my way over and began to wipe it down. It was covered in eraser shavings and broken lead points. I grabbed the shaker stand and put it on the chair to wipe beneath it but I found a note.

                          Look, 

You probably have a lot of questions right now and I'm

sorry for just ditching but if you want to meet up 

tomorrow before school we can get coffee at this 

table and possibly talk about it. 

I'll answer your questions Lance, I promise.

 ~Keith (1-800-XXX-XXXX) 

I stuck the note in my pocket but I couldn't get the message out of my head. Keith still wanted to talk to me? After everything that happened at school and in the break room? 

I really need to lie down or something but I can't get that talk out of my head. 

When he had the candle between us, his indigo eyes were sparkling like freshly excavated amethyst and the candlelight seemed to dance across his fair skin and define the fine details within his features. 

When he was playing around with the sharpener and trying to hide that smirk from my view but obviously didn't succeed.

And when he was trying his hardest to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes that I couldn't quite see and he couldn't quite catch before letting them slip.

I'd hate to be the cause for what I saw in his eyes... all the pain. 

My shift wasn't ending for another 6 and a half hours so I decided that I would put his number in my phone when I got to my break... but I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right, out of my head.

Or my heart.

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I wanted to run.

No I wanted to full on haul ass out of this country, out of this state, and out of this continent. 

I don't want to see Lance tomorrow, I feel vulnerable enough as it is considering he's seen me lose it twice this week. 

He's seen some of my weak points in the span of not even an entire two months. I don't want him to see me as some scared little kid. I don't know what I want Lance to see me as... a threat? A rival? A friend?

You fucking idiot! Do you remember what happened the last time you dated a guy? It didn't go so well for you now did it?  You don't like Lance anyways... 

He's Lance Fucking McClain... school favorite by students and teachers, probably has the best family life, lots of friends, a beautiful body and godlike facial features, not to mention those beautiful oceans-for-eyes I looked into when I was holding the candle between us. 

He couldn't be more... perfect. Damnit I might be jealous of Lance. I won't admit that out loud though.

He probably wouldn't want to be friends with me anyways. I'm confusing as all hell and I can't talk to people, I'm gay and to be perfectly honest my relationships are usually fucked up and I don't want to drag him to that shit show. Besides what reason would Lance have to be around me? What could I even offer?

I turned down another busy street and continued my silent journey. 

The silence of the streets weren't nearly as settling as I had hoped because the thoughts in my mind were pounding on my skull trying to make it past the layers.

Why did you yell? This is how it always goes. You always fuck up and thats why everyone leaves you. Now he's going to find out everything... how weak you are... you might as well commit while you have the guts to go thru with it you little bitch. 

That's when I started sprinting. Trying to run away from these voices... from these problems. I was running from the sound of honking cars and rustling leaves. I was running from the bitter cold that threatened to creep up on this limber town and tear it down. But all the while I ran from things, I made my way towards something else.

I'm tired of running.

But you can't knock off a habit that you've been practicing all your life so easily. 

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Confusing? 

Probably.

I don't even know what this chapter was but I wanted a time gap between them. I didn't want Keith and Lance to meet and fall in love and get into the NSFW stuffs and adopt kids all in one day like some other fanfics I've read. So far I think it's good-ish?

SOOOO... next chapter is gonna be a longer one and intense!! So I recommend you have a good set of mind when reading it.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed!!