From where I am now, I would have told myself to stay there. That's the sad thing about the past- you can't change it, no matter how hard you try. There's no point procrastinating on it because it's already happened. Thinking about what I could have done differently won't bring back the lives lost. Guilt will never alter the events and blaming myself doesn't help. I wish I could tell you this story from the eyes of the others, but I don't know how they saw it. I can guarantee one thing though... if it wasn't for me, a lot more people would still be alive today.

When the clock struck five, I told my family to go into the bedroom and wait for me there. I tied my hair back into a ponytail, put on the backpack over my black hoodie and waited at the door impatiently. I stayed there, sitting on the sofa for the next hour as the skies darkened before I gave up on Cory. I had to go before nightfall, I couldn't wait around for some untrustworthy stranger to help me. Somehow, the thought of being prepared and heading into the darkness all alone filled me with more terror than if I was to go into it blindly with Cory. So, I made a choice, a choice that haunts me.

I looked to the floor and then back up, questioning my own mind before I walked to the bedroom and asked her to come with me. And even through my hesitance I thought it was a good idea to bring Kiersten, a fourteen-year-old kid, out into the unknown; into a world filled with monsters. She said yes before I got the chance to finish my sentence. She was always the type to jump in headfirst without assessing the dangers. I wish more now, more than anything, to go back in time and tell her to go to sleep, to stay safe.

I said my goodnights to Sarah and Emily before Kiersten and I moved to the kitchen. I stood at the edge of the table and waited for her questions, of which she had many.

"So? What's the plan?"

"I'm gonna tell you everything I know." I replied to her honestly, "It's a lot to take in but it's important that you know." I had to tell her, I had to. So, that's what I did. I explained the situation with Cory and the Hunters and any other detail I felt was vital to the task.

"We're gonna save them... right?"

"This isn't a rescue mission; you have to understand that- that-"

"That there's a chance Sam and Jordan are never coming back." Kiersten finished for me quietly.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "We can't do anything other than look in on the Hunters and make sure that they don't have our- that they don't have Sam and Jordan. This is a huge risk; you know that right? Going out like this... we can't- we cannot be seen. If they see us, we die."

I would rather be blunt and alive than give Kiersten some false hope that we would run in and take down an armed gang of large men and have her die in the process.

"Yeah- I get it."

"And I know that we haven't seen a creature in a while, but we have to be quiet too... just in case."

"Okay... so we're like spies?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

I smiled at her and nodded, "Yeah, spies." I punctuated the word by raising my fists to my sides like a fighter. She grinned back at me.

"Let's do it."

"Let's do it." I repeated after her, "grab your coat."

And then we walked out the door, hand in hand, the first thing that became apparent was how dark it was, even with the torch it was difficult to see anything in front of us, the ground was completely opaque. It felt as though I could fall into the void with each step I took. 

Thinking back to this- I can't believe how idiotic my idea was and how damn stupid it was to go out at night. Kiersten and I realised quickly that we wouldn't be able to find this place, all we had to go on was the vague description of a building, and with how dark it was we couldn't even distinguish what street we were on. Neither of us had the nerve to speak, and after walking for five minutes, narrowly avoiding fences and curbs, I had to alter the plan. As soon as the huge luminous sign with the word 'LLYODS' on the front became visible, I pulled Kiersten along towards the mall where Emily and I had once stayed. We rushed in, I thanked God that the generator was still functioning as we went through the automatic doors and into one of the nearest shops. I fumbled a little, looking for a light switch, but Kiersten got there first, I couldn't help but sigh in relief.

"You okay?" I asked, finally noticing my surroundings. We were in a men's clothing store, it looked to be ransacked though, racks of shirts were thrown haphazardly across the floor and there were huge gaps on the shelves where trousers must have been.

"Yeah, what are we doing?" She asked with a confused look.

"We can't continue this, kid. I mean, shit, look where we are." I replied, locking the door that kept us from the rest of the mall.

"What? Where are we?"

"This is where me and Emily stayed at the start, in a shoe store upstairs. We are heading the right way, we have to be close, but I got it wrong, we were supposed to pass this place, we shouldn't have seen it at all. We're too far East, we gotta go left instead of straight."

"So, let's go."

"No, we gotta stay here... at least until the sun rises a bit, we can't do this blind." I took off my backpack and sat down on the floor. "It's risky to do it in daylight but doing this now is far riskier."

The kid paused in thought before following me in sitting down. "Okay, so we wait here until then?"

"I think so. We're safe here. It should only be a few hours before we can head out again."

"What do we do until then?" She asked.

"I don't know- any ideas?"

"What did you do with Emily when you guys were here?"

I smiled and leaned my head back against the wall. "We played games; hide and seek, tag, we made up handshakes and dances. It's hard to keep a five-year-old happy when you're locked in a shoe store."

"She's lucky you were there."

I stopped briefly, hearing her say that- it was like a reward, gratification for something that seemed so long ago. "I- Thanks, kid. That's nice of you."

She nodded with an awkward smile. "You're welcome."

"What do you like to do when you're bored?" I knew the answer, but I felt that it would be better to hear it from her.

"Sing." She replied plainly. "I sing."

"You know, I think I'd like it if you sang a song now, something to help pass the time?" I asked, "If you want to." I added quickly.

She grinned excitedly, clearly overjoyed at the idea. "Yeah, can I sing my favourite?"

"Go for it." I encouraged.

"Wise men say

Only fools rush in-"

I miss that day, I miss her singing, I miss her... I just miss her. I should've listened more to the lyrics; they could've come in handy for what happened the next day. Elvis Presley was right...

Only fools rush in.

We spent the next hour or so playing silly games, and then the curiosity got the best of her.

"What did you do before this?"

"I- I went to a university in Ireland, it was called 'Queens,' I studied archaeology, but I didn't get a chance to finish my first year." I told her truthfully.

"Ireland? How did you get here?"

"I was off for three weeks, and my grandparents live here, so I booked a ticket to come here and visit them. I didn't get to see them though, once the plane from Belfast landed everything had already turned to shit."

"Where are they now?" She asked innocently, I tried not to think about the answer to that question up until then. "Did you go find them?"

"No... I- I didn't."

"Why not?"

"I knew-" I sniffed and continued, "I didn't want to find them if they were- gone. I knew they didn't survive it; I could feel it in my bones. I tried to call them about a week ago, but no one answered."

"Oh... I- I'm sorry." She stuttered, looking down with remorse.

"No, no. Don't be sorry... It's not your fault." I assured her.

"Well... well... what about your parents?"

"I don't know my parents; my mom died giving birth to me. And my dad wasn't in the picture."

"Oh. My mom died when I was a baby too, a car accident when I was three."

"I'm sorry. Do you remember her?" I asked, cautious of hurting her feelings or overstepping.

"Nope. She was pretty, I've seen pictures of her, and dad told me about her, he said she was the nicest person he'd ever met."

"She sounds like a beautiful person." I paused and then smiled sadly, "It's a shame you never got to meet her."

"Dad used to say that she was in the stars, and one day we could see her again." Kiersten said. "Do you think my dad is with her now?" I couldn't ignore the tears that welled up in her eyes, it was easy to forget that she was still just a kid.

"Yeah... yeah, I do." Truth be told, I don't know what happens after death, I don't know if a God or heaven exists, but I do know one thing, if saying 'yes' makes Kiersten feel even a little bit better; I will say 'yes.'

The kid sniffed and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder lovingly and pointed to the natural sunlight that shone through the windows of the mall.