"What am I to you?" Eren asks.

Under the night sky, in evening solitude, it is the first time Mikasa has been alone with Eren since arriving to Marley. All day, she has been confronted with new experiences—a new land, new faces, new desserts, but these feelings she holds are anything but new.

What am I to you? The question repeats in her head.

Mikasa has not been unaware of Eren's distance these past twenty-four hours. This is yet another time she has found him alone today, separated from the others, pensive in thought, his emotions dull compared to that of her and the others excited to see the outside world. She had thought Eren would have been excited to see it too. After all, it was all that he and Armin would talk about as children. And yet, Eren's face has barely broken into a grin since arriving. Perhaps she saw the side of his lips curl when she shared her icecream cone with him earlier in the afternoon, but otherwise, his expression has remained sullen. And perhaps Mikasa has been doing her best to ignore his unusual behavior.

What am I to you?

When Eren begins talking to Mikasa about the stolen lives and homes of those people whom Marley has conquered, Mikasa sees the way the light leaves his eyes. Perhaps they have already been dulled by the responsibility Eren carries on his shoulders. The boy she once knew, yearning for freedom beyond the walls, barely resembles the young man standing in front of her, tired from war. Mikasa expects Eren to continue to speaking on these tragedies, but that is when the conversation shifts abruptly.

What am I to you?

Mikasa's breath catches in her throat. Sweat gathers in her forehead, and she can feel her cheeks burning as Eren stares deeper into her eyes, awaiting an answer that she still is trying to formulate verbally.

You're family, she thinks at first. That is what Eren has always been. Or that is the answer she has always been inclined to give. Her mouth opens to say these words that have passed so naturally through her lips, but she tightens her lips, clenches her fist against her chest, and breathes out the words she has been holding in for so long.

"You are everything to me," she says at last.

Eren's eyes widen in surprise. Mikasa is suddenly embarrassed. Her gaze shifts down to her feet, where she can better avoid Eren's stare that she can feel burning into her. She sways in place for a moment, listening to the chirping crickets in the distance. Eren's silence is deafening.

"Thank you," Eren says at last.

Mikasa stares up at him, wildly confused. She opens her mouth to ask why he has chosen that response in particular. It is then that she notices the light returning in his eyes. It could be because the moon is no longer hidden behind the clouds and both of them are cloaked in pale moonlight. Mikasa suspects another reason.

"If you hadn't told me that, I think I would have made the wrong decision," Eren explains.

Mikasa stands across from him, listening as he explains the toll that the Rumbling plan has taken on him, how he hates having this much influence over the island of Paradis, and how his mind and heart have been torn trying to decide how to simultaneously keep Paradis safe and protect the greatest number of people possible without any sacrifices. He has been at war with himself, unable to commit wholeheartedly to any of Zeke's plans without feeling immense guilt.

"Eren—"

Eren looks away from her and continues to speak. "If you hadn't said anything, I would have left tomorrow to find Zeke. I figured distancing myself from all of you would be the easiest way to finally go through with the plan. I must have been mad. But I don't know what else to do," Eren says, running his fingers through his hair. It has continued to grow out some more, Mikasa notices.

"What do you want to do?" Mikasa asks honestly. "What is it that you want, Eren?"

"I only have four years left," Eren says. "I don't want to spend them inciting massacres against others. As strange as it may seem," he says, his shoulders shaking slightly with faint laughter, "I would love to enjoy the little time I have left living in peace and quiet."

"Then, why don't you?" Mikasa asks. It is more of a rhetorical question. She does not expect Eren to have an answer to it. Both of them know realistically that this is merely a daydream. A daydream for the both of them, really. Because Mikasa can't help but agree that all she has wanted, ever since the walls fell, ever since she enlisted in the Survey Corps, that she has desired to do nothing else but return to the home she once had. Her home in Shiganshina has clearly been destroyed, and she doubts her family's cabin in the woods still stands after Wall Maria's fall, but it is a daydream she finds herself having in the moments that she cannot handle reality. This daydream pervades her reality more often than not these days as everything grows more out of hand around her.

"Would you come with me?" Eren asks.

Mikasa still thinks they are speaking hypothetically, so she nods. "That sounds nice." She smiles slightly to herself and stares up at the star-dotted sky. A nice thought, but never her reality. Never their reality.

Mikasa is jolted out of her dreamlike daze when Eren suddenly grasps onto both her wrists with his hands.

"Eren?"

"Let's go, then," he says. "Just the two of us. Let's leave."

"Wh-what? Eren? What do you mean?" she asks.

"You said it yourself. 'Why don't you live the life you want?' What's holding me back, then? This false sense of duty I've made myself believe? You know me, better than anyone, Mikasa. I didn't often let others make my decisions for me," he says. "So come with me."

"But what about Armin, and the others—"

"We have to hurry, Mikasa, before they find me. Will you come with me?" Eren asks.

Every part of Mikasa's mind wants to say no, that they are too far into this mess to back out now, but she also notices the way Eren's thumb just gently circles her wrist as he continues holding onto her, and when she looks up at his face, she finds him looking relaxed and carefree. He looks younger, like the boy who rescued her all those years ago.

When Mikasa does not respond, Eren sighs. "I'm sorry. I know this is unfair of me to ask you. I just know that if I don't go now, I won't have the courage to leave later. So, will you join me?"

The decision is easy. It always has been. Staying with Eren has always guided Mikasa's decisions, but this time, it directs her life into the direction she wants it to go.

"Yes," she says.

Eren grasps onto her hand, pulls her forward with him, and they run into the night without looking back.

...

It takes them two weeks in total to make it up north to one of the few countries not tangled up in the Marleyan war. During their journey, they never stay one place long for fear of being discovered. They jump onto moving trains, sneak onto ships, lie their way into acquiring passports, until finally they arrive by car into a country surrounded by looming mountains and lush forests. They have decided this will far enough to conceal their whereabouts.

Eren travels with purpose, as if he has already envisioned their destination. Mikasa does not want to doubt him, but she begins to worry where exactly they will settle. Thankfully, Eren has already thought of everything.

The car's brakes screech at the dead end of a road. Ahead are only towering pine trees and a dense forest.

"We'll travel on here by foot," Eren says, handing the driver the last bit of money they've managed to hold onto.

Mikasa is tired, her clothes are torn and stained, and she has not managed to have a good meal since they've run off, but when Eren offers his hand to her, she grasps on and excitedly looks ahead with him. The forest, while a slightly different scent, still smells like the pine trees of her childhood. It has been too long since Mikasa has been able to feel the sun kiss her skin or listen to the pleasant chirping of birds without any sounds of terror to accompany them.

"I know how much you liked the forest," Eren says as he continues to lead her through the woods. His grip on her hand remains firm. He carefully maneuvers through some bushes, Mikasa following close behind, before coming into a cleared patch of the woods that contains a medium-sized wooden cabin. Mikasa drops his hand in shock.

"It was a summer home for one of my past holders," Eren explains before Mikasa can ask. "I saw it in my memories. I'm glad to see it's still around."

Tears sting the corners of Mikasa's eyes. She tries to hide the sound of her cries, but it ends up coming out as a muffled sob.

Eren blinks and gently grasps onto the sides of her arms in concern. "What's wrong?" he asks. "Don't you like it?"

Mikasa nods. Her fingers reach for the gentle fabric of his shirt in an act to pull him closer to her. For once, Eren seems to get the message and holds her in an embrace, the first of many yet to come.

...

They spend the first few months trying to construct their new lives. The house needs work, and though Eren tries to do most of the physical labor, it is often Mikasa taking over for him when he fails to chop wood correctly or hammer the hole in the roof just right. Eren always pouts afterwards but is usually in good spirits again when Mikasa cooks him a meal using some of the plants they have begun to grow in their garden and the fish that she and Eren have learned to catch in the river nearby.

They make a promise to each other. They won't bring up the others or any matters relating to Eldia or Marley. Being this secluded from town makes it easy to avoid worldly news, but Eren and Mikasa also have to promise it to each other, as both are aware of the guilt slightly eating them up inside for having abandoned their friends. Those nights are the hardest, when Mikasa wakes, sweating and twisted in her bedsheets, having flashbacks of her time as a soldier. What makes it worse is the empty space next to her, since having moved into the cabin, Eren prefers to sleep on the couch so Mikasa can have the bed to herself. More often than not, after those nightmares, she likes to wrap a blanket around herself and quietly enter into the living room, just to check that Eren is still there. The sight of him sleeping peacefully on the couch with a face that appears more youthful than before is always enough to comfort her.

She and Eren fall into an easy rhythm. She cooks; he cleans. She does the gardening; he does the fishing. She goes into town to trade for supplies; he gathers and chops firewood. In the afternoons, they like to sit out on the bench outside their home and stare up at the mountains in the distance. In the evenings, she and Eren like to sit under the candlelight after dinner and talk, not about anything in particular, and certainly not about the past, but about their childhood, before the wall fell.

"Mikasa?" Eren asks one afternoon.

She holds a basket in her arms, having just finished folding their laundry. The wind tugs at her hair slightly as she looks toward Eren in curiosity.

"My hair is getting kind of long. Would you mind cutting it for me?" he asks.

She happily obliges. She asks him to sit in the kitchen and grabs a pair of scissors from the drawer.

"How short do you want it?" she asks.

"Like how it was before," he answers.

She doesn't need any further explanation. She carefully snips at the sides of Eren's head, watching curls of brown hair fall to the floor below. She tries her best, having only witnessed Carla do this a few times for Eren when he was a child. His hair is soft in her fingertips. She almost wants to hold off from cutting, just to run her fingers through his hair.

"Your hair is also growing out," Eren notices.

It's true. Her pixie cut has begun to look more like a bob.

"Will you cut it?" he asks.

Mikasa snorts slightly. "Why? So it doesn't get caught in my gear?" She holds her breath after saying these words. They do not talk about their days as soldiers, but the response leaves her mouth so naturally.

Thankfully, Eren doesn't seem to care. He instead laughs and shakes his head. "No. I like it this way. You should keep letting it grow."

Mikasa feels her cheeks grow warm. "Th-thank you. I think I will."

With a few more snips and some touch-ups, she steps back. Eren looks younger with shorter hair, like when they were fifteen again and first joining the army. She does not verbalize these thoughts this time. Instead, she tells him to look in the mirror. Eren smiles warmly at his reflection.

"Thank you. I like it. Will you keep cutting it for me?"

"Of course."

...

When the air starts to grow colder at night, Mikasa grows a bit more restless. She curls her body into the blankets, trying to ignore her shivering limbs. The fireplace only keeps the house warm for so long these days. After tossing and turning for a bit longer, she finally wraps a blanket around her body, exits the bedroom, and pokes Eren awake from his usual spot on the couch.

"What is it?" he asks. They do not often disturb each other in the middle of the night.

"Aren't you cold?" she asks him.

Eren sits up slightly on the couch, letting the blanket fall from his shoulders. A shiver runs through his body, one that Mikasa knows he can't hide.

"A little, but I'll grab another blanket. Do you want this one to take back to bed with you? It'll be warmer," he says, holding it out to her.

Mikasa shakes her head. "Why don't you come sleep with me? The bed will be warmer. I'm sure it must be uncomfortable sleeping on the couch for so long."

"I've grown used to it. I'll be okay. Here's my blanket. I can go grab another—"

"I want you to come to bed with me," Mikasa says a little more firmly. "It'll be warmer." She hopes the darkness conceals her reddened cheeks.

"Are you sure?" Eren asks.

"Yes."

He follows her into the bedroom. Mikasa lays down first on her normal side of the bed. Eren hesitates for a moment, then slips under the covers from the other side. The mattress shifts under his weight as he lays down. A large space sits between them. The bed is still cold.

"Good night," Eren says.

"Is the bed warm?" Mikasa asks, turning to face him in the darkness. The moonlight shines through the opaque curtains of her—no, their—bedroom, casting a faint glow onto Eren's face. Mikasa feels better knowing that his face is as flustered as hers.

"Yes. Much warmer than the couch," Eren answers.

"Good," Mikasa says. A slight shiver runs through her body again.

"You're still cold?" Eren asks.

"I'll warm up eventually," Mikasa says. Her teeth are chattering just loudly enough for Eren to notice.

"Are you this cold every night?" he asks.

"No. Just lately now that it's gotten colder," Mikasa answers.

Eren pauses, then begins scooting closer to Mikasa. Her eyes widen, but she tries to not act alarmed and lets him move until his body is just brushing against hers. She takes a deep breath, then looks up at him. He is staring directly at her. Their faces are mere inches apart, and she can feel his breath just ever so slightly on her face.

"Um, maybe if I—" Eren begins, but he never has time to finish his sentence. Mikasa scoots even closer to him and carefully positions herself so that she is tucked under his head and into his chest. He is warm, and if she listens closely, she can feel his heartbeat.

"Mm...you're warm," Mikasa murmurs against his chest.

Eren pulls the covers up and drapes them over the both of them. One of his arms slinks under neck, creating a makeshift pillow for her, while he gently rests the other over her back. Mikasa thinks she must be dreaming. Perhaps she already is, given how droopy her eyes have become. She is awake long enough to hear Eren tell her good-night one last time.

They sleep together in the same bed every night after that.

...

One morning, Eren challenges Mikasa to a contest.

"I bet I can chop more wood than you," he says.

Mikasa finds his optimism cute. "I was top of our class, don't you remember? So I think I'll be winning."

"And I have the power of three titans," Eren counters. "So we'll just have to see."

They do not often bring up these parts of their life, but today, it seems relevant. Eren's sly smile makes Mikasa happy. She can tell he is happy here, that the bits of his personality she thought he had lost over the years are returning. When she looks at him now, she sees him just as they were when they were children, young and carefree.

They set the rules. Ten minutes. Whoever chops the most wood wins. Given they only have one chopping block, Mikasa lets Eren go first. She believes she has underestimated his abilities partially when he has finished. She used to worry that he would hack his hand off when he first started chopping wood for their fireplace. Of course, it would just grow back. She can see now that he has gotten stronger.

"You've given me a tough number to beat," Mikasa says as she picks up the axe and swings it over her shoulder. She smiles at him, then quickly begins. She realizes as she chops that she slightly misses the physical activity she used to engage in as a soldier. Most of her physical activity these days consists of walking and gardening. It is always refreshing, and she prefers it, but sometimes it is not enough to satisfy her Ackerman genes.

Mikasa easily wins by a landslide, leaving Eren's jaw dropped open.

"I think you cheated," he says.

"Cheated? How?" Mikasa asks.

"I just think you did," Eren complains, crossing his arms.

Mikasa walks over to him, crouches down in front of his face, and grins. "If anything, I was at a disadvantage compared to your, what was it? 'Three titan powers?'"

"You—" Eren responds by tickling at her sides, which causes Mikasa to break out into a girlish giggle. She leans forward, placing her hands on his shoulders. Eren pauses his ministrations to look up at her.

"What?" she asks.

Eren blinks. "Nothing. I don't think I've heard you laugh like that in a long time. Not since we were kids, at least."

"No. That can't be right," Mikasa thinks, but then again, she considers that it possibly can.

"I want to hear it again," Eren says. Once again, his fingers tickle her sides, and Mikasa laughs again, falling forward so that she is practically sitting on his lap.

Her giggles fill the air. Eren is laughing beside her, and in this brief moment, time freezes. Mikasa is happy. Happier than she would have been if she had stayed. Happier than she would have been if Eren had made a different decision that day.

"Okay. Okay, stop," she says through giggles. Eren stops tickling. His hand does not fall back to his side, however. It traces up her back, halting at the small of her back. She shivers and stares down at him.

"Eren?" she asks.

"Yes?"

"Are you happy?" she wonders.

"Yes," he answers.

She does not know what happens in the next few moments, only that his other hand has reached up to cup her cheek, and that the inches between their faces are gradually shrinking. Then, her eyes start to close, and she feels his lips trace gently against hers before she begins to move her mouth against his in unison. She wonders, as his lips continue to mold against hers, why it has taken so long for them to kiss? It is not like their relationship has been ambiguous. Otherwise, she would have not said those words in response to Eren's question so long ago, and he wouldn't have asked her to run away with him in response. They cuddle close together in the same bed every night, and they keep a home together like any other married couple.

Eren opens his eyes slowly when they pull apart. Then, he stiffens. "I'm sorry. Was that not all right?"

"No. That was perfect," Mikasa says before leaning down to kiss him again.

...

They share kisses in passing moments from that point onward. Eren always wakes Mikasa with a good-morning kiss. She likes to kiss him in the morning briefly before he goes out fishing. Sometimes, when she is washing the dishes, his hand will snake around her from behind, and she'll lean up to meet his lips. Other times, after Eren is done chopping wood in the afternoon, Mikasa will greet him with a cold lemonade and a kiss.

At night is when they exchange kisses the most. It starts off innocent enough, with Mikasa's lips meeting Eren's after he tells her goodnight before she curls up close against him. It eventually transforms as the days go on from a simple good-night kiss to nights under the moonlight, with Eren's lips tracing all over her body, exploring every inch of her. The first time they make love, Mikasa is rightfully nervous, but Eren is gentle and warm, and when she wakes in the morning, draped over his body, she shoves her head deeper into the crook of his neck and sighs in delight as she feels his chest rise and fall slowly underneath hers. She thinks she made the right decisions in those moments, and finally, she feels at home.

...

Do you know what I hate most in this world? Anyone who isn't free.

Images of a distant dream swirl in Mikasa's mind. Eren's voice sounds different, hate-filled, and cruel. She tries to block out of the sound of his voice, but it keeps reverberating in her head.

I couldn't stand to look at a slave who always followed orders without question.

Mikasa wants to tell him to stop it, but her mouth won't open. Instead, she's greeted with images she has never desired to see. Death, destruction, the slaughter of innocents, and worst of all, the sight of Eren, her Eren, becoming a monster.

Ever since I was a kid...Mikasa, I've always hated you.

"Mikasa. Wake up." The voice that greets her is warm and gentle, in contrast to the bitterness of the tone that Eren in her dream uses.

Her eyes open slowly, adjusting to the light. Oh. She must have fallen asleep on the bench outside their home after completing her morning chores. She couldn't have helped it. The sun was warm, and she felt safe and comfortable. Sleep has always come more natural to Mikasa since running away.

"You'll catch a cold," Eren says, holding a fishing rod in his hands. That's right. He left fishing earlier in the morning. She distinctly remembers feeling him kiss her cheek before he headed out. Then why does it seem like forever ago that it happened?

"Eren? Huh? I...when did I fall asleep?" Mikasa asks.

Eren sets the fishing rod against the side of the house and leans down to grab some chopped wood for their fireplace. "You must've been exhausted."

"I feel like I just had a long dream," Mikasa says.

"Let's just take it easy for the rest of today. I managed to catch a big fish after all..."

Mikasa no longer comprehends his words. Though the memories of her dream are distant and blurry, her emotions are still caught up in them, and she feels tears sting the corner of her eyes. Before she can help it, the salty tears cascade down her cheeks.

"Mikasa? Why are you crying?" Eren asks.

Mikasa wipes a rolling tear from her cheek.

"Huh? I wonder why? I started asking myself if it's really okay for me to be here," is the only answer she can manage to formulate.

Eren stands back up to look at her. She knows she has broken her promise, bringing up the past when they agreed not to, but she knows she can't be alone in the guilt she still carries inside her for abandoning her comrades, and as Eren speaks, she realizes he shares the same sentiments. There is no discussion of returning. That is out of the question, and besides, that is not what Mikasa wants deep down.

When Eren finishes speaking, she glances up at him, smiling slightly. His warm eyes meet hers, and she stands, pushing herself into his embrace.

"I'm sorry. I know I promised I wouldn't bring this up," she says, pressing her head into Eren's shoulder. Since when has he grown so tall?

"Will you make me one more promise?" she feels Eren murmur against her. His hand traces the red scarf hanging from neck. "Throw this scarf out once I'm dead. You have a long life ahead of you, so forget about me. Be free."

Do you know what I hate most in this world? Anyone who isn't free.

Mikasa says nothing, only silently holds onto him, more aware than ever of the warm scarf hugging her neck. Eren's arms wrap firmly around her, and she glances up slightly when she hears the screech of a falcon. It glides carefully in the wind before vanishing off into the trees.

...

Mikasa never has those strange dreams again, and she and Eren never again discuss their past in the depth. They return back to their normal rhythm, enjoying a quiet life while watching the seasons play out before them. It is domestic bliss, and Mikasa tries to savor every moment of it. However, every day Mikasa wakes beside Eren is a reminder of his final days, no matter how hard she tries not to think of his inevitable passing. For the time being, however, Eren is happy and healthy. They are in love. Mikasa could not have wanted any other outcome.

When Eren enters his final year, that is when Mikasa is noticing that he is slowing down. It takes him longer to complete everyday tasks. When he starts coughing up blood, that is when Mikasa starts taking over most of the chores. They both ignore Eren's deteriorating condition, pretending that nothing has changed, really. They still share meals together and go for walks by the river and sometimes sit out in the sun. At night, Eren still sleeps with one arm wrapped around Mikasa while she curls up against his body. But it is clear Eren isn't as fit as he used to be.

He is nearly bedbound by the end of that year. Mikasa keeps him company, often sitting by his bedside, with one hand pressed over his and the other holding a book that she reads while he rests. Occasionally, she reaches up to stroke her scarf, trying to ignore that soon, this will be all she has left of Eren and these memories. Eren has told her she needs to start thinking about the future and what she will do after he is gone. Mikasa has not thought that far in advance yet.

In his final few days, Eren tugs on Mikasa's sleeve one morning and asks if she can help him sit outside in the sun. The weather has grown warmer now, and Mikasa guesses the sunlight will help him with the pain. He has the strength to sit up and turn his body toward the edge of the bed. Then, Mikasa wraps one arm around him and walks slowly with him out of the bedroom. He is already coughing by the time they get to the front door.

"Do you need a break?" she asks.

Eren shakes his head, so she helps him to the bench against the wall of the cabin. It's the closest place he can sit out in the sun. She unwraps her arms from him slowly, watching as he leans slightly against the wooden walls of the cabin.

"Thanks. I love you," Eren says.

He does not use those words often. Only a few times has he said it during their past four years living together, but he's shown her how much he loves her too many times for Mikasa to count. She supposes in his final days, when he cannot move as much as he used to, his words are all he has left.

"I love you, too," she responds.

He dozes off some while Mikasa chops wood for a little bit. She returns to him a little while later and kneels down slightly across from him. Slowly, Eren's eyes open.

"Please, Mikasa. Forget about me," he says.

Never, she thinks. Since she agreed to run off with Eren, she knew she could never forget him when he eventually passed. Not remembering him now would be a disservice to the memories and the life they have built together these past four years. She keeps these words quiet from him though.

Instead, she reaches her hands forward, placing one behind his head and the other on his cheek. He stares up at her with half-lidded eyes. He looks so tired, she realizes. She hopes that when he does finally pass on, he'll have found peace, and she hopes that he's at least felt some peace being here with her.

"See you later, Eren," she says. Then, she gently presses her lips to his.