Kaeya called his adoptive father right before he was deployed to the football game. The line rang and rang, but there was no reply except for the electronic voicemail. He decided to just text his father that the game was starting soon and that if he were to come, the bleachers where the band was was off limits to everyone except family, so he was able to sit with them.

During the festivity, Kaeya ignored all conversations to watch the "game." By game, he meant Zhongli. Amber was a flyer, who did the splits in mid air every time she was stunting. His crush was one of her bases. His look of determination and not to accidentally drop Amber was cute. His cheers, cute. His dancing, cute. Everything about him. Cute.

The drum major, the leader of the band, called out a tune. It caught the bluenet off guard. When the rest of the musicians started to blare their instruments, Kaeya was still in a daze. He took a shock and jammed the trumpet to his lips then started to play with the rest of them.

During halftime, before the band's performance, Kaeya waved to Zhongli on the track. Zhongli answered back with an enthusiastic ruffling of his poms, smiling. It motivated the boy to do well. And so he did.

Kaeya forgot about his father, whom he didn't see in the crowd. The band was on break until the fourth quarter, so he took out his phone and found a message waiting to be read.

Dad: I'm sorry my boy, I cannot come. It was a last minute call that I had to take up. Good luck! I'm cheering for you

He cannot count how many times his heart sank the past month.

He then sees that he had another unread text, a private one.

Derogatory: Kaeya, your trumpet skills are amazing! I can hear you from the field.

That ginger? Complimenting him? At first, the boy rolled his eyes at the message, thinking that the guy was patronizing him, but then he reconsidered. Maybe he does mean it. He quickly replied 'thank you' and 'good luck' to the other.

Perhaps Ajax wasn't too bad.

After the game, Kaeya waited alone at the subway station. He hears steps from behind him, but doesn't mind it- it was probably a stranger. Then that stranger sat beside him. He looks up to them and realizes that it was actually the ginger.

"Do you mind if I wait with you?"

Kaeya shakes his head. "Go ahead."

The ginger sighs loudly. "Ahhh, my feet hurt! Bro, you do not know how much I was almost tackled. Hehe, guess I was too fast for them."

The boy was disgusted at the self-centeredness. "I saw. It's almost like you carried the whole game. Ever since you entered the team, y'all started to win."

"Psssssssh, it's not all me. It's called a team for a reason!"

Kaeya laughed. "My bad."

"Oh naw, don't apologize dude. Where's your trumpet?"

"I borrow the school's. I do have a personal one, but I don't trust myself with it outside the house."

Ajax pats Kaeya on the back. "Man, I can listen to you all day."

He scoffs. "How can you hear me out of everyone?"

"Are you joking? You play the loudest! Didn't you also have a solo?" The ginger says. "Plus, every morning I can hear you practicing a tune that the rest of the band doesn't play. It's like Mozart or something."

"Haydn."

"Who's that?"

"Nevermind."

"No, tell me. I wanna know."

Kaeya has never talked like this with Ajax in a while, since he started getting jealous. He debated whether to tell him more or not- but if he does, it can be a change in pace. Maybe he wouldn't be forgotten anymore if he made closer friends with Ajax.

"Mozart and Haydn are two different guys. Though they did produce classical symphonies, Mozart also did Opera. Actually, Mozart learned from Haydn." He says matter-of-factly.

"I hate classical."

"Me too. But it's fun to play."

A silence loomed over them, awkward, uncomfortable. The train finally arrived, and the two teenagers boarded. Ajax took the liberty of sitting next to Kaeya again, wanting to talk to him more.

"Hey uh, sorry for leaving you in the dark last Friday."

That struck a nerve.

"Finally you apologize? I've waited for a week!"

"Why didn't you bring it up? We're your friends you know, we would have patched it up by now..."

"Do friends forget each other in subway stations? Ignore texts? Change venues without informing?"

The ginger fell silent, thinking of a response. "That's why I'm apologizing. We thought you went home."

Kaeya felt insulted. "I was there making plans too!"

"I know you're upset, but hear me out. We didn't mean it."

The boy pouted and closed his eyes, crossing his arms around his backpack.

"We were planning to apologize to you sooner but we couldn't reach you as a group."

"What a shitty excuse."

Ajax only nodded, conceding. "I understand. You've been taking this well. Still talking to us and hanging out."

Kaeya buried his head into his backpack. He could feel his tears well up in his eyes, so he played it off as being annoyed- he was- but he was mostly heartbroken. They were his only friends. He needed them. Nothing Ajax, or anyone in that matter, could change it.

"You guys are the only people I have."

Ajax heard a sniffle from the boy. He knew that he started to weep. The ginger leaned back and put a hand on Kaeya's head, stroking his blue locks. He had nothing to say, he was speechless. Kaeya, the calm and collected renaissance man, was broken and vulnerable in front of him.

It was sad that he clung on to his friends for dear life, despite them doing him wrong. He was still loyal and still appreciative. For the record, they were not toxic, only ignorant. They were all teenagers anway. What did they know other than the pressure of becoming an adult despite being treated like children?

Kaeya desperately lifted his head up and wiped away his tears. Ajax looked at his backpack, soaked. "I'm getting off here. Goodnight Ajax."

He stood up and bolted out the train. The fact is, it wasn't even his stop. He just wanted to distance himself from the other.

Ajax had his hand extended, as if to catch Kaeya. He didn't get to say goodnight.

When Kaeya finally arrived home, he threw his bag on the floor and stomped up to his bedroom. Mr. Ragnvindr wasn't home, so he couldn't scold him for his feet being too loud. He plopped on his ass in front of his door, hugging his knees to his chest. He was too tired to shower, too sad to care.

Maybe it wasn't Ajax ruining the friendship.

Maybe it was himself all along.

The next morning, Kaeya muted the group chat after a morning shower so he could practice in peace. He blew warm air into his horn as he flipped through the sheet music he had on the stand. He set aside a warm-up and the excerpt from Haydn's Trumpet Concerto. It was difficult, but when played right, it sounds like a procession to a castle, royals making their way inside.

He knew his father was downstairs, reading the newspaper he neglected from last week. Little did he know that Mr. Ragnvindr swayed and danced to the muffled melody coming from upstairs.

The boy had set an alarm for 15:00, the time he should be getting ready for the competition. Call time was at 17:00, so he had to be at school at around 16:30. He had already showered, so that was out of the question. His father was to drive him to school, which took around an hour or so, God forbid the subway. Ideally by 15:30, the boy should be ready to take off.

He was excited, for he loved night competitions.

Kaeya hit the roadblock in the piece, a place he can roughly play but never perfect. After tirelessly trying, he played it scuffed, gave up, and called it a day. He lay his trumpet down to get a bite from the kitchen. When he arrived downstairs, Mr. Ragnvindr was buttoning his coat, looking ready to go outside.

"Dad?"

"Oh," he looked guilty. "I'm sorry again. Remember I stayed overtime last night? They needed me again."

The boy frowned at his father. "But you promised."

"I know I did, son. Next time."

"Yeah... next time. Um, at least try to make it to Championships? Please?"

Mr. Ragnvindr nodded quickly. "Of course, of course." He kissed the top of Kaeya's head and headed out the door.

He wasn't like this when Diluc still lived with them. Perhaps he liked Diluc more due to him actually sharing kin. He always attended Diluc's volleyball games and orchestra concerts. He was more or less obligated to attend Kaeya's games and concerts, too. Ever since Diluc left, he's been slipping his act on the blue boy.

He stood alone again.

What about me?

The boy was on the subway at 15:00 after the change in plans. Kaeya sighed, feeling his heart strain itself from repressing emotions. He wanted to vent to his friends so he opened the messages. They were in the middle of the conversation making plans to go out... tonight.

He told them about the competition... right? Looks like he didn't. But he swore that he did. He remembers specifically telling Zhongli that he also had a solo in the show. Did they forget again? Were they making plans without him again?

What about me?

Kaeya stood in the middle of the football field getting ready to play his part. When the time came, he flawlessly played each note with pristine tempo and articulation. The crowd listened with interest as he blessed their ears. They roared when he finished, dropping his trumpet to his side and running to the rest of the band, continuing to march with them again. He was proud. He was perfect. But who was there to witness it?

Strangers.

Who was actually there to witness it?

No one.

It was okay, at least they saw him during the games. He shouldn't ask for too much from them. He appreciated them no matter what.

The bluenet clutched the 1st Place trophy in his hands, gawking at the triumph, savoring it for himself, grasping the memory. He smiled. He did well. Did he?

The Drum Major politely took the trophy from him and placed it on a shelf, housing it with many other awards the band earned. It glimmered in the artificial light.

It was pitch black on the way to the subway station. Another cycle of arriving home tired and alone.

He wasn't like this before. Why was he fragile all of a sudden? He used to be so happy, so content, so unbothered. Now inundations of emotions he doesn't know where they came from caved in on him. Ping after pang after pong. His heartbeat slowed at his sadness. Fatiguing him.

It took every ounce of self-control to not open the group chat.