They left us alone
•1•
(

Do not read unless you have read the 1st book, Mona Lisa, via my profile.)

2013

/Brendon's POV/

Everyday I search for her. I check all social media, I go by her old school. I check by her old apartment building. I'm giving up. She's gone. Is she even alive? I don't know. She could have died. She could be alive. I just.. I don't know! I don't know and its killing me! I finally found the love of my life, and here we are again. She slipped through the gaps in my fingers and she's gone.

I sat down on the cold leather of the couch in my living room. A beer in my hand, I stared at the blank TV. Everyday, I hope she'll come back. I can't stand being away from her. Touring will be hard. Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die! is out. Ian left. Spencer is battling addiction. My life is crumbling around me. The front door opened and closed. I didn't bother turning around, I knew it was just Dallon.

"Brendon?" I heard a female say. I whipped my head around and saw Mona.

"Mona!" I stood up, running toward her. I hugged her as tight as I could. Her body started crumbling and falling like ashes. "M-Mona? Mona please.." I said as she disintegrated in front of me.

I woke up suddenly from my bed in cold sweats. It was just a dream. Mona's not back. She's never coming back. She hates me. If she loved me, she wouldn't have left. I have to put on an act when I'm not at my house or with Dallon and Spencer. I have to be happy and cheerful like I was. That's not Brendon anymore. Brendon is a sad, mopey, heart broken loser who can't get over a stupid girl.

We didn't bother going to the police over something so stupid. Its too late now, anyway. We figured she would come back. She didn't. She could be in Africa for all we know. All I do know is that I miss her.

And I can't stop. She's like a fucking drug, and I'm addicted. She's worse than nicotine. I can't escape it. I want to, but I can't. Somewhere out there, I hope she's alive. I can't promise myself anything. It would make situations worse if I found her dead. If I find her.

If.
If.
The word mocks me in my head. It echoes constantly.
If.
If.
If.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed, slamming my head into my pillow.

If.
If.
If.
She's gone, Brendon. She hates you. You're worthless.

"STOP IT!" I screamed louder. The voice in my head taunts me everyday. And everyday, it gets worse. I can't stand it. I want to die. I want to be dead. The only thing that can save me is Mona. But she doesn't care. Like the voice said, I'm worthless.