Escalante

    I wasn't feeling exactly sportive today so I made a mental note to cancel out of the competition before it started which was in four hours. I didn't have a group anyway which meant if I dropped out, there won't be much hassle.

    My breakfast tray shook in my hands as I took short steps towards my table and in time, the crowd on the table came into view. As usual, the normal crowd was on it. Jacob and Dave were in a deep conversation and didn't seem to be noticing anything around them. Val, Alex, MK and Carlo were in another conversation which they were laughing about something MK said.

    My heart got caught in my when Carlo's gaze fell on me making me freeze in my spot. His eyes still had that captivating look and I swore I would have stood there and kept staring at them if he didn't look away. The moment his gaze left mine, I felt instantly embarrassed and lost my appetite. I took another turn, threw my food in the trash and started off to a cabin I never knew existed until yesterday when a fellow told me about it.

    Cabin 41.

It was hidden away from the rest of the cabins and according to Alex, they kept people who the camp manager didn't want walking around in it. Right now, that was my highest guess where Preston had to be. If he wasn't there, then I might just keep hating him.

Knocking on the wooden door, I glanced around and noticed just how far the cabin was from the other male and female cabin. It was a couple miles from the management building and if I had say, so out of the camp grounds. The door opened and I looked back just to see Preston raising a puzzled brow at me.

I wanted to smirk at him but seeing him again gave me a vivid image of that evening, trapped on the bed with him, knowing he was going to touch me in places I didn't want him to. I felt suddenly powerless and I hated it. Preston made me feel powerless and I hated him for that. Glaring at him, I brushed passed him into the house and frowned at how empty the cabin was.

You would expect the cabin to be cozy because someone was living in it but no, it wasn't, it was empty and cold and empty. It made me wonder if Preston the loner kind of dude. I turned back to him and pointed at the vacant space that was supposed to be the sitting room, "What happened? They forgot to give you a sitting room?"

Preston scowled, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'm not in the mood. Come back later and I might have a comeback then."

I whistled, surprised he could be in such a foul mood when just yesterday he kept me in a panic attack that threw me off my character. So I decided to tease, "Woke up from the wrong side of the bed huh?"

"Get out if you are not here for a good reason. The camp manager would be pissed if he saw someone here with me." he grunted, walking past me to stand in the middle of the empty sitting room.

"You are definitely unhospitable. Sad." I shook my head and gave him a sour face as I came closer to him.

Preston scoffed, running a hand through his ruffled blond hair. "Look, I'm tired and not in the mood to mess with you. There's just a couple days left until I can go back to what I call home."

"You live with Alex, I heard." I said, rocking back and forth on my heels. I watched his hands fall to his side and his expression grew dark.

He stiffened. "What else did he tell you?"

"Everything he knows. And he asked me to forgive you. I'm here to know if you want me to forgive you."

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"You think I would come here to joke when your entire presence makes me jumpy?" I frowned at him but to my surprise, he sighed and slumped his shoulders.

Preston smiled sadly, running his hand through his hair. "God, Es, I am so sorry."

"Yeah right. Yesterday, you were full on anti-rape and now you admit it?" I rose a suspicious brow it him.

He nodded silently then said, "My therapist came over last night. His methods are...quick." He exhaled softly then continued with his apology. "I know I don't have an excuse for what I did but I do want you to know I have thought about it all and I am ready to start over again. So yes, I need your forgiveness."

"And how am I supposed to trust you?" I snorted with disbelief. "I could just turn my back on you and you'd do the same thing you did to me to someone else and maybe then there won't be a Carlo or Alex?" Deep down, I didn't want to forgive him because what he had done had affected me in ways that surprised me and ways I still didn't know. But I had to forgive him especially now that he was asking for it. 

"I've always got Alex to put me in my place. At least trust him." His gaze softened and he rubbed his palms on his jeans.

I stared at him for a while and when I knew I couldn't take his intense gaze anymore, I inhaled deeply and blew out, looking away. "Sure. Whatever. I should go now."

"No, please stay." He exclaimed and yet again surprised me. His appearance had looked rough but when he ran his hand through his hair, it was like he turned back to that pretty boy I loved... And that scared me.

"Please stay. I've got breakfast or something to eat." He added, taking quick strides into a room.

    Reluctantly, I followed him but stopped before I could enter. It was scary to following him into a room alone because I felt if I entered, he might knock me out again and tie me to the bed because other than the table, chair and wardrobe, that was the only things in the room and it scared me. And the more I stared into the room, the more the room looked awfully similar to the one at the motel.

Feeling the fear shot up my spine, I took several steps away from the room then turned away. I didn't mind being in the sitting room with Preston because it was big and it was easier to plan an escape route but in that tiny room, in that tiny motel, it was going to be impossible.

"I've got sandwich if you want." I turned back at the sound of his voice and I saw him coming out of his room. He waved the sandwich at me and smiled. "It's the only food I knew you would eat even though you won't finish it."

That was the sweet and thoughtful Preston I knew. The one that wasn't into BDSM life and couldn't rape me. But the Preston I knew wasn't the real Preston. The real Preston was physically, mentally and emotionally scarred. The real Preston was a terrified dude and thought pain was love. Honestly, I wanted to sit him down and talk to him, but my talking or advice wasn't what was going to put him back together. He needed someone to show him what love was and I couldn't do that because he sunk that ship a long time ago.

He shyly handed the sandwich to me, hiking up his shirt and I could see the scars I had only once seen when we had sex.

Taking it from him, I hoped it didn't sound I like I was prying when I asked because I had to be sure it was caused by that same fucked up boyfriend, "Those scars-"

"Don't ask about it." He cut me off, adjusting his shirt before looking back at me with those eyes that brought back memories I didn't want to remember. "I'm going to rehab, anyway. Alex's dad's really trying to help."

The hate I had for Preston suddenly shifted on this unknown Dylan boy. He had ruined Preston and now he was living his life somewhere probably with another dude. Only God knew if he was at least treating that one right. Sighing, I let him change the topic and answered, "He's the reason you didn't get deported." I nodded, finally understanding that part.

Preston glanced away from me and I rolled my eyes in frustration. Since I had nothing else to say and those scars looked too deep to be talking about, I decided to say my goodbyes and leave. "So we are cool. Sorry about what happened to you and I hope your rehab works. Maybe, after I've calmed down from this minor PTSD, we could find ourselves someday and I don't know, talk?"

Preston grinned widely, his blue eyes even sparkled and I was glad I was able to see him like this again. He was such a beautiful man when he wasn't being a scary little dude.

"I would love that and I promise I would be a better person by then."

"I trust you would." I smiled back and I knew that made Preston happy because he grinned widely.

Taking a step toward him, Preston's eyes widened and he stepped away from me. He shook his head quickly and answered my silent question, "I don't want this to be goodbye yet. I still want to make it up to you while I can."

"Preston..."

"Please." He pleaded with his eyes and I grunted, annoyed I could still succumb so those piercing eyes.

"Even if I said yes, what can you possible help me with?" I bit into my sandwich and relished in the taste of it. Damn, sandwiches here were so amazing.

"You have your swimming contest today right? I could be in your group and help you in the relay." I was hell bent of proclaiming I was going to drop out of the competition but Preston's excitement got to me. I suddenly felt the need to feel the water on my skin and I did remember saying Preston was an awesome swimmer. The need to see him swim engulfed me and I bit my lip, nodding.

Preston grinned, putting his hand into his pocket and rocking back and forth on his heels. "Great. We should start leaving."

I watched him leave to his room and after taking another bite from my sandwich, I threw the rest away. When he came back, I said as we both left the cabin together, "Why do you want to help me anyway?"

"Other that the fact that I want to make it up to you, I love to see you swim. It was one of the reasons I liked you." He winked at me and I sighed helplessly..

     It was thirty minutes before the game started and I honestly couldn't wait because the last time I was in a swimming competition, my teammates had thrown my swim suit away so I never participated and a situation never came when I had to. A crowd was slowly forming making me look up to find Carlo. It was a habit I was used to and didn't want to lose because seeing Carlo watch me made me feel lucky and I always needed his luck.

Frowning when I didn't see him anywhere, I exhaled and glanced at Preston beside me to find him stretching. He was already in the swimsuit which covered all his scars around his waist and thighs. The ones on his shoulders weren't that obvious so I guessed he wasn't that bothered about it. Preston bent down to touch his toe and I quickly looked away because that position reminded me of a night I didn't want to remember.

Twenty minutes later and I found myself stretching out of nervousness. I swung my upper body to the side as I watched the crowd that entered through the double doors. None were Carlo and I had seen the rest of my cabin mates. Ten minutes and still no sign of Carlo.

My heart picked up speed and I stopped trying to stress my body. Instead, I searched the crowd again, desperately hoping I would see Carlo because he was the main reason I was doing this. I wanted him to see me. I wanted to impress him. I wanted him here with me.

    Preston snapped me back from my thoughts making me turn my attention to him. He gave me a gentle smile and it managed to calm my anxiety down a notch. I smiled back before he cocked his head at the direction at an older man that was walking towards us. This man had identified himself as the referee when he had made the announcement a couple minutes ago. He frowned at Preston and I making me believe he had bad news.

And I've never been closer to the truth in a while.

"The both of you are the two man team right?" He asked and Preston nodded. "Well, I've got bad news and good news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Bad." I answered before Preston could utter a word.

The referee folded his arms over his chest and said, "You can't participate with only two members in a team. The good news is that you are allowed to add two more members before the game starts." He smiled at our surprised faces, clicked his tongue with his teeth then added, "You have five minutes." He clapped, making us snap out of our stupor before leaving us.

Preston helped me pick up my jaw when he shook me and I gaped at him feeling both nervous and scared. We were going to be disqualified if we didn't find someone to fill up the space.

"Escalante, snap out of it." He shook me again and I froze, realizing his hands were on me. Those hands which were going to- "Es, we've got to find someone to fill up the space or we are going to be disqualified."

I couldn't understand the words that left his mouth when his hands were still on me. Preston must have noticed because he lifted them off me like he had touched fire then wiped his hands on his suit. When he had managed to put enough space between us, I was finally able to breath and I exhaled deeply. Preston was definitely hurt by my reaction to him but he quickly hide it by looking away from me and saying, "I'm gonna go and ask around. You should stay and listen if there's any announcement."

"Preston..." Before I could even finish, he turned and walked out. Immediately, I felt bad but I knew there wasn't anything I could do. What he did to me made me like this.