Preston

    Es was still out.

     His body laid tied up to a king sized bed, his clothes completely removed saved for his boxers. I was definitely turned on by seeing him in this position; sprawled across the bed, his hands and legs tied to the post. More positions popped up in my mind that made me suppress a moan but I had to handle the situation before putting him in such vulnerable and embarrassing positions.

    My phone buzzed and I frowned. I knew the person texting me and the fact that he was persistent was pissing me off. Opening my phone, I saw the text and the words repeated itself to me making me hiss in irritation.

Barco: Do you have him yet?

    Barco Lay was the one to initiate the Date the gay thing in the first year. He was also the one who made the rest of us gang rape Alex. Alex was awesome and I indeed liked him but Barco was a scary dude and I couldn't save Alex even if I tried. But that still didn't make me a hero since I also assaulted him.

     Now it was Es' turn and honestly, I didn't want what happened to Alex to happen to him. I regretted what happened with Alex and I hated myself for not standing up to Barco and saving him.

     I wanted Es all to myself. I wanted him squirming and thrashing for only me. In Alex's case, he had just stared at me with cold eyes filled with betrayal. I couldn't even look at him while I was forced to have sex with him. There was too much pain in those eyes that it made me realize the kind of monster I was.

Preston: I'm not doing the gang rape thing this year.

    After texting him back, I left the room to address the driver who helped me out when Escalante was trying to run.

     Thinking back, I was deeply hurt when he said he wanted to return back to the camp. Didn't he know he was quick to temptation? I had to watch him just to be sure he wasn't going to sleep with someone else. Ditching a couple football practices to stalk him and mentally take notes of the people he slept with. They were a pain to me.

"Are we waiting for the others?" Mathew asked. He was the driver and was a member of the gang.

"There are no others. I want Es all to myself."

     Mathew was confused for a second but realization dawned on him and he sighed. "You want to keep this one to yourself, huh?"

"Yeah and I'm no longer doing this gang thing anymore. Tell Barco I'm out." I answered, knowing this was the only time I could drop out of that damn gang.

     He frowned at me but his features slowly relaxed and he rolled his eyes, raking his hand through his hair, "Barco'll be mad but for the sake that we're friends, I'll keep an eye out." A cocky grin came upon his face suddenly and he added, "Make him scream."

     I glared at him and he rose his hands up in surrender before sitting back on his seat in front of our motel room. Checking my text again, Barco sounded pissed off that I wouldn't share him and I tossed my phone at Mathew who caught it.

"Tell Barco if he wants a dude to fuck, he should get one himself."

     I didn't wait for him to reply before I entered the room and locked the door. We were in a motel and even though it was that discrete, it was better than the abandoned bar we did Alex at.

    Escalante was stirring in the bed and I hummed as he moaned sleepily. His hands tugged on the ropes but I was excellent at tying thanks to this same camp. His eyes flew open as if coming out of a nightmare and I rushed to his side to calm him down when he started tugging at the ropes frantically.

     The moment my hand touched his face, his wide eyes looked at me and I saw the same look Alex gave me but this time, there was something mixed with the betrayal. Fear? Or maybe anger?

     I was never really good at reading people.

"You bastardo! What the fuck are you doing?" He asked, still pulling on the ropes on his wrists.

     My fingers grazed his dark features, moving over his tanned skin until I was at the tip of his nipples. His eyes widened curiously at me and I leaned in and nibbled it with my teeth. I knew that had an effect on him because he stopped struggling and stifled a moan.

     I pulled away from him and said, "You are such a sexual being Es."

     He blinked as if coming back from his thoughts then frowned, "Let me go Preston."

"I thought you liked bondage play, baby. You said you loved it yesterday or was it this morning?" I chuckled when I saw the hairs on his skin rise.

"Let me go, Preston." He seethed.

     Why wasn't he seeing the fun in this? I was just a normal guy who enjoyed these kind of things. Weren't there guys like me around?

     My fingers danced on his skin again, sliding down his stomach until I was at the brim of his boxer briefs.

     Es groaned and glared hard at me making me melt under his gaze. His eyes were beautiful and it made me feel alive. I was so happy I don't get to share him with the rest of the gang. I didn't want to see nothingness and just betrayal. That wasn't fun to watch at all and it hurt every time I looked at Alex

"Shh. You know I love you, Es. How do they say it in Spanish again? Te amo, right?"

"What do you want?" He looked up at the ceiling and I immediately missed the look in his eyes.

"Why would anyone tie you down if it isn't to make love?"

"That's not love making. That's rape." He looked back at me but he looked away before I could reply.

     A cold chill came down my spine at the sound of that word. I would always regret that day no matter how much I knew Alex was trying to cope with what happened to him. I had raped him, used and molested him against his will. And I hated that. Hated myself. I loved Es and I didn't want what happened to Alex to happen to him. Never want what happened to Alex to happen to him.

"It's not rape." I answered quietly.

     When Es didn't reply, I took it in myself to crawl on top of him, placing myself between his legs as we had laid this morning. I heard his heart beating faster when I placed my head on his chest. He moved a little then remained solid, staring up at the ceiling as if it was more interesting than my face. Which I knew was not because he loved me.

     And he deserved to know everything about me. The scars; my past.

"I've been lying to you."

     He still didn't respond.

"You weren't my first, not even Alex was my first. My first time was with this guy, a year before the camp opened. I was pretty straight then but he made me confused. We dated for a while and I had my first time with him. Two months in to the relationship and he got really aggressive. He'd hit me when he was angry but apologize right after. One night, he tied me up like this and kept having sex with me even when I was at my breaking point.

"Sometimes, he'd hit me when I was rude to him, sometimes, he'd have sex with me against my will. I told him to stop but he kept saying he did it because he loved me. I loved him a lot Es." I frowned when he still didn't look at me and got slightly jealous of the ceiling.

     Moving up, I blocked his view and he was forced to look at me. I cupped his face and said, "And I love you too so I'm going to do exactly what he did to me."

     Es's eyes narrowed at me and I smiled at the attention he finally gave me, "Your boyfriend raped you?"

I used my elbow to keep myself from falling on Es and frowned at his statement, "My boyfriend didn't abuse me. He loved me and he told me that was the best way to show love and that if I stayed with him, then I loved him too."

He frowned. "I don't think that's the best way to love someone Preston. If he loved you, he wouldn't even have the mind to hurt or even think of hurting you. You don't see me trying to hurt Carlo, do you?"

Carlo? I didn't know if he was purposely trying to annoy me or not. I just didn't like the sound of Carlo's name coming from his mouth. This was our moment. He was my boyfriend. Not Carlo's.

"Why did you just say Carlo's name?" I stared down at him, praying it wasn't what was running through my head. "Why are you talking about Carlo? This is about us."

"I don't think there is an 'us' anymore if you believe what your boyfriend said about pain being the best way to show love." Then he looked straight at me, "We are over."

     Hearing those words come out from his mouth, made something in me snap. I didn't know exactly what I was feeling but somehow, I knew I was scared, afraid I was going to lose someone, the way I lost Alex... And the way I lost Dylan.

     Why? Why had I told him about Dylan? I shouldn't have told him about Dylan and just stuck with telling him how much I regretted hurting Alex. Every scar on my body was a reminder of something I once loved and hated. The ones on my thigh and shoulders were from the people who used me against my will because of what I did to Alex. Around my waist were the ones I cherished the most because they were all from Dylan. I could just remember the way he ripped the flesh off my skin as he would fuck me senseless. He loved me. That part I knew for sure.

     And I loved Escalante. So I was going to show him how much I loved him the way Dylan had. He was going to love me more. I had.

     Pulling away from him, I rolled off the bed to get a special surprise. My back burned with his stare as I walked over to get a butt plug from my back pack. I pulled it out of its packet and threw it somewhere in the room.

     Walking back to him, I waved the toy in my hand and his eyes widened, mirroring the expression I had shown Dylan when he showed me the toy the first time.

"Do not put that up my butthole." Es glared hard at me and I pouted.

I glanced between the toy and him and sighed, "So you know what that is." Well, there goes that fun.

     Sitting beside him again, I brushed his hair back as I said, "So, a little birdy told me you were a virgin and I thought, why not take it. I've never had a virgin before and from the way Dylan loved me after he took mine, I could only say it would be amazing."

     That seemed to have scared the shit out of him because he started begging. "No. Please don't. I'm saving it for someone. Please."

     My brows creased in irritation. "What do you mean someone? I thought you loved me. Weren't you saving it for me?" I eyed him with curiosity and he sputtered, cursing himself for saying it.

"Just please don't have sex with me. Please."

My brows furrowed further, clearly showing my disapproval. "Please? But I love you. Who else would love you like I do?" What did he mean by someone else? I loved him. He should be saving it for me. He should've been saving it for me. Escalante loved me.

"I don't love-" Es swallowed his words at the last minute and just looked at me with wide, frightened eyes. But it was already too late. He just said he didn't love me. Then who could he love? I was the only person he showed so much attention to. He had to love me. Why was he doing this to me? If I started to answer the question running around in my head I wouldn't ever have the chance to be with him. And like Dylan, I took matters into my own hands.

     Reaching for the lube in the drawing, I smiled softly at Es so he wouldn't know I was breaking and when I got it out, I lubricated the toy. "I put the lube on it so it wouldn't hurt. Dylan used to do it a lot and trust me, when he says it doesn't hurt, it never hurts."

     Es was too shocked to respond and I took it in my favor and dropped the plug down so I could pull down the last of his clothing. When it was just hanging by his legs, I climb back on top of him and admired his member.

"It's so wonderful. It's as wonderful as you are." I kissed his tip and watched it harden slightly. I didn't know what possessed me, maybe 'cause Escalante moaned, but I found myself sucking his tip.

     The look on Es's face made me stop because instead of the usual pleasure swarming his eyes, it was regret...and pity? "Please." He muttered making me frown further.

     Angrily, I picked up the plug and found his butthole with my other hand. I made sure to lubricate again it before slowly pushing the toy into him. My smile came back when I watched his face twist in pleasure. I rotated the plug, silently wishing it was my hand.

     Letting go of him, I let him fall back on the bed and gazed at his now harden cock. My hands itched to touch it and I did because there was no one to stop me.

     Es was mine.

     But I made the worst mistake when I told him that minute about Alex. Not in details but enough for him to know I assaulted him. Es just stared at me with a surprised look and then the thrashing started again and this time more furiously.

    Knowing Es, I started for something sexual because that always seemed to calm him down when I heard the commotion outside. That made me frown and I had let go of him to put his boxers back on, leaving the plug in to give him pleasure since he was still thrashing around.

     Shoving a sock in his mouth, I suppressed a grunt and moved to open the door. My eyes widened at who I saw and the person didn't look too happy to see me at all. As a matter of fact, the person went ahead to punch me square in the jaw and dare I say, that was quite a punch.