Carlo

    So, Es and I were in a somewhat relationship and I didn't feel comfortable with it. Yes, I do love Es more than I was even letting on but something was nagging at me not to give in to that feeling. It was kind of like that situation where the feeling was mutual but you are not ready to step one foot out of your comfort zone which was being single.

I've been single for a long time and last I remembered, being 'not single' was a lot of work. You've got to take care of him, relate to him, know him inside out, and the best of them all, you've got to trust him. It was safe to say I didn't trust Es one bit because I've been his best friend for a long time and slowly yet painfully learnt not to depend on him. Even though I still did.

    He had painful ways of letting people down and most of the time it was me. Either he was leaving me for his boyfriend at an important time or he was with me but not paying any attention to me. It hadn't happened yet but I knew it would and it was going to be worse than last time because I was, again, getting used to the attention he was giving me.

He would hold my hands in public and kiss me even when I wasn't ready for it. Jacob and Dave cooed at us whenever they were around and I would slowly die of embarrassment. My thin frame of confidence was breaking and I was falling back to my old self.

Being shy wasn't easy and it was worse when you were in a relationship. You become way too self-conscious. You are always tensed. And you are always worried he was going to leave you for someone more confident. Someone better.

I panicked whenever I was with Es in public because of those things. I was not even comfortable with public display of affection in the slightest and that was why I was curled up in a ball and trying to hide myself in it, hoping I'd just disappear.

    I had contemplated hiding under my bed, but I had a feeling if my roommate found me, the rest of the cabin was going to be asking what was wrong and the last thing I needed now was more attention.

In conclusion to my morning rant, I don't trust Es.

    Today was like every other day. People were out and about doing something wrong and earning a strike or doing something fun and earning a story to tell their parents or friends back home. But the weather today was cold and a bit windy compared to yesterday when it felt like the sun god, Ra, was having a bitch fit with someone.

The paint ball battle had passed a few days ago and we were nearing Friday in a day. Camila had already booked me to do my make up for the faceoff party. The camp manager still hadn't responded to our plea about using his motorcycles so Val and the rest of the team decided to use their ultimate weapon; MK, who was indeed the camp manager's son.

    Looking away from my window when I heard a knock, I sluggishly stood up from my bed to answer the door. Camila and Jacinta stood there grinning at me and I frowned. I thought MK was scaring all the girls out so they won't come bugging us about our makeup. My frown only got deeper when they brushed passed me into my room.

Camila glanced around my room then her gaze fell on a couple of panties a few girls had asked me to keep as a souvenir. I quickly dove to them and shoved it under my roommate's bed then pretended to not have noticed the panties.

Clearing my throat, my initial glare came back on them and I asked, "Why are the both of you here?" I glanced at Jacinta, "Don't you have a guy to date?" Then turned back to my sister, "Don't you have a tranny to date?"

My sister rose an unamused brow at me and folded her arms over her chest. "What crawled up your ass and died?"

"My brother's dick." Jacinta smiled at herself at her dumb joke which only angered me further.

"Get on to why you are here?" I sighed and flopped down on the black office chair Es had stolen for me since my room didn't have one. I couldn't help smiling at the thought so I leaned back on the seat.

Jacinta busied herself with looking out the window and shouting at a couple of people I was sure I didn't know while Camila shrugged and answered, "We are sneaking off to the lake. Es wanted me to ask you if you wanted to join."

I bit my lip in thought.

Be with Es and be constantly embarrassed or stay away from him and try to build up my wall of confidence again. They were both tempting in their own way so I asked, just to stall and get more information, "Why didn't he just call me?"

"That's because he's fidgeting like a kid on his first date." Jacinta left the window to stand in front of me. Her light brown eyes staring down at me. "As much as I wish I knew my brother's obscene dating life, I don't. So I really don't know what that means." Those eyes softened a bit and she continued, "But if there's anything I know about dating, it's that when someone starts fidgeting about doing something with his subordinate other, he's worried and scared that he has done something wrong. What did he do?"

I stared up at her, confused. Es didn't do anything and if he did, the only thing he did was PDA which wasn't exactly a bad thing, but just not in my comfort zone. He must have misunderstood when I pulled my hands away from his and let Jacob take me away to shoot some loops in the fun house yesterday.

Jacinta responded when she noticed I wasn't going to answer her, "Just go and talk to him. I feel bad just watching him think. Who knows what nonsense is going through his head?"

Nonsense I didn't want to run in his head. And for some reason, that scared me. I wasn't sure how, but I knew that gave me the strength I needed and I found myself following Jacinta and Camila.

    We got to the lake after trying to sneak out without much notice from the patrol guards. The minute we made it to the woods we dashed down, following the stream until we heard voices. I could make out Alex and Dave's and after a quick exchange of mumbled words, someone jumped into the water, making a big splash.

    As we neared it, the woods became thinner and I could see them. Jacob's slim tanned body held Dave in a headlock and was forcing him to apologize for something he did. Alex and MK were minding their own business at a corner, talking in a hush tone. Alex sat on his boyfriend's lap and MK said something that made Alex blush and bury his head in his shoulder.

Es was nowhere in sight and I was so close to turning back without a word when he climbed out of the water.

The sight of him held me place. His dark hair clung to his face and he swept it back in such a sexual way, I was getting a boner from just staring. If there was anything about Es that made me have him in my dream, it was his body. Damn, he was the perfect 6ft4' with tanned Hispanic skin, flexible muscles and abs that weren't too refined but you could still see it. His black brief clung to his body, giving us a very fine outline of his crotch. Even Jacob and Dave were staring and that sent a familiar irritated feeling through me.

    Es winked at them and my jaw dropped in shock. I felt my entire body burn up in jealousy which I hated to admit and started turning to Jacinta and my sister to yell at them for bringing me here to see this when a better thought crossed my mind.

Taking quick strides, I marched up to him, arms crossed, muscles tightened and I interrupted him, saying, "You called me?" If he looked at me or even bothered to notice me, he would probably see the vein dying to burst on my neck.

Es's green eyes widened and I tried not to look at it because I could never stay mad with those eyes staring down at me. It was a lot more effective than Jacinta's stare. Camila doesn't even bother with me or even gives me eye contact. Jacinta practically took care of her the way she took care of Es and I.

He gave me a grin and held my shoulder. "You came. I thought you wouldn't."

"Why would you think that?" My frown deepened.

He let go of me to run his hand down his wet hair and shrugged. "I don't know. I felt like I was suffocating you and I feel bad because it was when you left with Jacob I realized it. You hate PDA but I forget because I was excited. I'm just... I'm sorry." He didn't look so tall and mighty anymore and his eyes soften, making my heart warm up to him and I hated it.

I hated how I couldn't stay mad at him. I hated how I could stare into his eyes for days and not get tired. I hated how whatever he did affected me because sometimes it hurts. I hated it. I hated him but I loved him all the same.

He made me so confused, I get annoyed the moment his name pops in my head because I can't think of anything else anymore. If I eventually tell him I loved him, would he dump the Samuel boy he talked about before we left to Canada? Only his name now was pissing me off and if I remembered clearly, he had looked dashing in a picture Es had showed me.

     You know what? Just kill me now.

"Whatever." I scoffed, moving away from him so I could pull my shirt and jeans off.

"What do you mean, 'whatever'? I was apologizing to you." His tone was rigid and I rolled my eyes.

He was probably conflicted with what emotion to express and I sighed, deciding to give him one.

Turning back when I was down on nothing but my boxers, I closed up the space between us and snaked my arms around his waist. Not caring if people were looking–people who might nag about it later to me–I leaned up and pressed my lips to his.

Es's eyes immediately fell close but I noticed he wasn't kissing me back. I pulled away to frown at him. "What is it now?"

"Erm. Everyone is staring and honestly, I don't mind, but are you okay? You don't have to do this to prove anything."

My brows creased together and I let my hands slide up and down his body earning a smile from him. "I don't want to prove anything. I just want to kiss my boyfriend."

     I would faint if Es grinned any wider than he did and he took me by surprise when he kissed me, wrapping me in a hug as if he didn't want anyone to steal this moment from him. Jacinta's voice was heard over the hooting from Jacob and the guys and she was squealing like a typical fangirl.

My focus fell back on Es when his tongue invades my mouth, tasting me as he pulled me closer so I could feel his boner. His hands slid down to cup my ass and I moaned in pleasure, grinding our hard-on together. For the first time in forever, I hated myself for not knowing about his feeling. This moment was awesome but I had a feeling it would be better if we had both come clean to each other sooner.

     He pulled away to stare at me and I let myself melt into those greenish eyes that made every part of my body burn for him. "Calm down boy." He said breathily. "Let's do what we came here to do so if we get a strike, it'll be worth it."

Nodding vigorously, I quickly pulled away from him and ran to the platform, saying, "Last one in gets to buy us Oreos from the vending machine." I took in a sharp breath before jumping into the cold water I immediately regretted entering.

But that didn't stop the rest from jumping into the water. Es jumped in right after, followed by Dave before the girls then Jacob, Alex and MK accordingly.  

    As the rest of the gang turned to mock MK, Es swam to me and wrapped his arms around me. The water did nothing to calm my heated body, but I didn't mind since I was no longer cold. I let Es pull me close to him as he said, "You are getting more courageous by the second Carlo. I'm seriously proud of you."

Es's praise made my mind go dumb for a while and when it recovered, I realized I forgot what I wanted to ask him. Shrugging, I slipped my arms around his neck and pressed our bodies together. "Please kiss me again."

"Babe, you don't ever have to ask for it."

     I grinned widely and his enchanted lips fell on mine again. God, I was getting addicted to his kisses.