a/n: hey guys!! i just had my first day of high school (freshmen ayy) earlier this week and i'm in honors english and it's already kind of a demanding class so i might not update as much as i want to until i get settled in and everything, so for the time being i just wanted to thank you guys for the feedback and love this book gets. statistically, this is my best book yet. though i have other books with more reads, they've been out for at least a year or two. this has been out for 9-10 months!! thank you guys so much. ilysm❤️.

i'd love to hear your guys' favorite chapter/part/dialogue/moment/etc and why in the comments if you're fine with putting a couple seconds aside to write it. i love reading all your comments!! anyways, lets get on with the chapter. enjoy! -car

****

Jake plastered a smile on his face. The skin near his eyes wrinkled slightly as his pearly whites were showing and were radiant to anyone in a mile radius from him. He was talking to Jenna, but really didn't want to be there. He wasn't going to make that obvious though. He was just planning on waiting it out until the bell for fifth period rang and lunch ended, but it didn't seem to come soon enough. The conversation was relatively smooth until Jenna had asked a particularly uncomfortable question for Jake.

"So what about your parents? They don't get pissed or anything because you throw so many party?"

The brunette felt this pang tingle through his whole body. His teeth clenched and expression got a bit more uncomfortable. Jake's fingers clutched onto the wheels of his wheelchair, his knuckles whitening naturally due to his firm grip.

"Where did that come from?" Jake asked, trying not to make his newfound uncomfortableness too noticeable (especially not around Jenna).

"Just asking," she shrugged, "for a friend."

For a friend Jake's ass.

"I'd rather not say?" Jake's statement came out more like a question, "It's kind of personal."

"Are you sure? You can always talk to me. I won't tell a soul."

That was a lie. Sure, she wouldn't tell a soul. She'd post it on social media for millions of people without souls to see. He doubted whatever he was about to tell her had a -1% chance of staying between them.

"Yeah." Jake nodded, lips pursing, "I'm sure. Thanks." He started to wheel off, eventually darting out into the hallways once he'd gotten out of her view.

"Yo, Dillinger!" Someone exclaimed, stopping Jake from completely blowing that popsicle stand and getting the hell out of dodge.

The brunette sighed heavily and turned his head (and wheelchair) towards the voice. He was met with the brown eyes of Dustin Kropp; cousin of Christine Canigula and second-cousin of Michael Mell. Though Dustin was pretty well known around the halls, he was one of the annoying sophomores who tried to be one of the upperclassmen and failed miserably with every real attempt. The only reason he was even remotely associated with the popular Juniors was because he gave Jenna loads of tea on Madeline, Christine and Michael constantly.

"Dustin!" Jake once again plastered a smile on his face, "What's up, bro?"

"Nothin' much. Just saw you wheelin' pretty fast. In a hurry?"

"Yeah. . . Physics homework is overdue."

"Really? The one and only Jake Dillinger leaving lunch for physics homework?"

"Well," Jake laughed softly, "it's not going to get itself done, is it?"

The other male hesitated and opened his mouth to speak then soon shut it, "Touche."

Jake grinned, "Well, this was a nice convo, my dude, but I have to go finish something okay? We'll catch up later!" And with that, the brunette was off once again.

The last thing Jake wanted in that moment was another confrontation from anything and anyone. He didn't want to interact at the moment. He just wanted to be alone, preferably in his room despite his busy and restless demeanor. Jake was just going through shit and didn't want to deal with people.

****

Jake: come over asap

Rich: why????

Jake: just do it!! please

Jake: need some asap bro help

Rich: omw

Rich hopped off of his bed quickly and started towards his bedroom door.

"I'm leaving!" The blonde exclaimed as he whipped the door open

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out." Michael said, flashing him a halfhearted peace sign, entranced in whatever was on his phone

"Thanks, Mike!" And with that, Rich was gone.

****

"What's going on?" Rich said, bursting into Jake's apartment (he had a key). The blonde looked around for a moment, not seeing Jake anywhere. He gulped, palms getting naturally sweaty, "Jakey-D? You here?"

"In here." A shaky voice said from the bedroom.

Rich's whole body jumped. His short legs took him as fast as he could to Jake's room. He opened the door to see the one and only Jake Dillinger in his room with tear stained cheeks. Jake's eyes were red and his hair was disheveled. He had faint bags under his eyes and a couple veins on his forehead could be seen through his skin. In short, Jake looked tired and emotionally drained; like he'd been crying there for a while.

The blonde's breath hitched as his eyes widened, "What happened?" He made his way over to the brunette with a worried expression on his face.

"Today has been one thing right after the next." Jake told Rich, running his fingers quickly through his hair and licking his lips. His eyes shifted around the room frantically, "Jenna asked me about my parents and why they weren't here. As I was trying to get out of there, Dustin came up to me, and you know he's just as bad as Jenna! Then I got a D- on an exam and-and now this. ." Jake held up his phone and showed a text to Rich.

Matthew: hey sport it's been a while

Rich gasped softly, hand clasping over his mouth, "Jake. . ." His voice was muffled, but still comprehensible, "That's your. . ."

"My dad? I know." Jake responded, his phone slowly going back down to his lap. He laughed in a self-deprecating, bittersweet, indescribable tone, "Now he decides to say something. Eight months, Rich! After eight months he finally texts me, and that's what I get! That's all I get!"

Rich's face was painted over with sympathy. He quickly wrapped his arms around his best friend. While their bodies were close, Jake lost it. The dam broke and his final wave of tears started. Jake's chest rose and descended rapidly as his breath got shakier and shakier. His arms tightened around Rich's torso, fingers tensing. Jake could be heard making audible sobs and heaves, eyes squeezed shut.

"I-I--" Jake's voice cracked and fell out, "I can't do this anymore. I-I can't deal with HIM any-anymore." The brunette continued.

"I know. . ." Rich's voice trailed off, rubbing comforting circles into his best friends back (or the best that he could with Jake being in a wheelchair), "We'll figure this out."

Jake didn't respond. He kept going. Words couldn't formulate and he was rendered speechless. All Jake could do was cry at the moment, and that's what he was doing. All of the pent up emotions from that day, and many months before were coming out at a dangerous pace. Jake was letting everything go. It didn't happen often, but when it did, it was uncontrollable.

****

Jeremy got out of his dad's car and walked briskly into the cold, crisp air of December. He pushed his cardigan sleeve down his arm a bit so that it would cover his wrist and hand before entering a cute coffee shop called Caffeine Bean. Jeremy was meeting Christine there (after a lot of Brooke's encouragement) to go over their previous conversation and was feeling pretty good about it until he entered the shop and saw her worried expression.

The smile on Jeremy's face fell when he saw the look on her face. He quickly made his way over to her and sat across the table from her. Christine's expression was mixed with worry and this weird feeling you get in your stomach when shit is about to hit the fan, but on your face. It was hard to describe.

"What's wrong?" Jeremy asked, fidgeting with his fingers as he did.

"I know that we were supposed to talk about your feelings about Michael and how you feel torn between he and I, which would make for a great musical, but gah! Not the point. Like I said, I know we were supposed to talk about what's on your mind, but we can't."

"Why?" The fact that Christine wasn't completely open to talking about his feelings like she normally would be worried him. It was abnormal for her.

"Because while we were talking in private at school earlier, it apparently wasn't private. Here, look." She took her phone off the table and opened it, sliding it over to Jeremy.

On the phone was a screenshot from some kid Christine had done a play with back in Sophomore year. The words from the text conversation made big, fat bricks hit the bottom of Jeremy's stomach.

Jenna Rolan: jeremy heere has a crush on his best friend michael mell and gets raging boners!!!! spread the word!!

"When was this sent?" Jeremy asked, mouth running dry.

"This afternoon. Apparently right after we finished talking."

Jeremy's head was spinning. What the hell? This couldn't be real. None of this could be real. The whole situation was just making Jeremy dizzy and sweaty in places he hadn't been sweaty in in a while.

"I can defend you if you want me to deny what Jenna said." Christine said, rubbing her thumb over Jeremy's hand in an attempt to be comforting.

"No, no," Jeremy started, "I appreciate the offer, but I need to fight my own battle." He gulped, "I need to talk to Michael."

She nodded, "Why don't you go talk to him now?"

"He's not home." Jeremy shrugged his shoulders back, "He's at a job interview at 7-11 so that he can get free slushies whenever he wants."

"Oh. . . Then why don't you talk to him before or after school tomorrow?"

"I'll talk to him tomorrow after school." He nodded, "Thanks, Christine." He smiled softly.

"Anytime, Jeremy." She smiled back at him

****

A day had passed. The whole day had been stressful for Jeremy, and he couldn't shake the fact that he felt numerous eyes on him throughout the day. He felt like he was being watched wherever he went and whatever class he entered, no exceptions. Jeremy was swiftly walking through the halls when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Michael: dude i feel like i'm being watched,, did you tell everyone about my super awesome 7-11 job interview???

Jeremy: no!! but ik why we're both feeling like this. we'll talk later okay??

Michael: ok, don't ditch me

Jeremy: i won't. promsie

Jeremy: promise*

Michael: lol nice

Michael: anyways i'll see you later

****

Jeremy and Michael had never established a time for him to come over, so Jeremy just came pounding on the Filipino's door. He whipped the door open and saw Michael and Rich laying on the couch with a couple little kids in between them. All the eyes in the room darted over to Jeremy, their attention immediately off the little box TV they were previously focused on.

"Jeremy?" Michael questioned, popping up and off the couch. Rich was noticeably pale. His face looked as if he'd just seen a ghost,"I didn't know you were coming so soon." The Filipino finished.

"Yeah," Jeremy laughed awkwardly, "sorry about that. Can we talk?"

Michael nodded, "Lets go. My room."

Jeremy's phone dinged. He looked down at it as the two males made their way up the stairs. It was Christine sending him a screenshot of whatever conversation her friend and Jenna had had the day before. The brunette grinned softly. He was knocked out of his thoughts when he heard Michael close the door to his room behind the two of them. Jeremy's head shot up and he looked Michael in the eyes.

"I need to show you something. It's really important." Jeremy said, tone dire.

"Okay. . ." Michael started, making his way over to his bed, "Sit. We'll talk about it."

Jeremy made his way over to his friend, sitting down as well. He snatched his phone and pulled up the picture Christine had just sent him. His arms had goosebumps up and down his arm (it was cold as hell at Michael's house, and the whole situation was giving him this natural reaction).

"Here, look." Jeremy handed Michael his phone, "This is something Jenna Rolan sent Christine's friend."

Michael mumbled the words of the text under his breath, eyes widening as it went on, "Where'd that come from?" He asked, eyes traveling to his friend

"Christine and I-- er, uh, what?"

"I asked about where it came from."

"Oh! It came from Christine's friend."

"No, you dumbass. Where'd Jenna get that from?"

"Well. . . Just her imagination, probably."

"I know you're lying," Michael said, tapping his fingers on his leg, "what really happened?"

"I don't know if you're ready to hear all of this." Jeremy laughed in a sarcastic manner.

"I am! Just spill it." The Filipino's brows furrowed.

"Fine. . ." Jeremy let out a long breath, "It started a few months ago. . ."

****

a/n: so im thinking that the fire didnt happen?? rich got his burn marks from something else and jake is in an apt bc he couldnt afford the house payment. and maybe he broke his legs during sports?? not sure on that one yet but i feel like if the fire had happened in this au that rich and jake's relationship would be a lot more strained and i'm not really in the mood to go back and rewrite a ton of rich-jake interactions lol