Jerome, AZ
September 24th, 2018
16:04:00

Vonda's POV

"Dear Satan, it's Vonda. Please forgive me for making out with an innocent virgin on Saint Walpurga's Eve" I began proclaiming desperately, pulling away from Brad and getting down on my knees.

"You're a Satanist - wait, what makes you think I'm a virgin?" Brad had all sorts of awkward, angry curiosity written on his face.

Taking only a quick glance to look back at him, I said, "Take a look in the mirror, honey-bunch. Let's face it, your dance card's as empty as President Trump's desk."

I looked up to the ceiling and closed my eyes, humming random words that sounded Latin-ish.

"I didn't take you for the religious type," Brad muttered, sarcasm evident in his voice. Suddenly, he asked, "You're not summoning Satan or anything, are you?"

"I'm not. Just wanted to freak you out a little" I laughed, opening my eyes to see his expression. Brad sighed with relief.

"I'm actually a part of the Cult of Kevin Spacey. We perform human sacrifices in order to convince our leader and god to destroy the mortal beings who wrongfully condemned him and trapped him in jail." I informed Brad, standing up and brushing myself off.

Brad looked absolutely bewildered. His eyes almost fell out of their sockets as he just stared at me.

"God, Brad, you're so naïve. Can we get to the part where you throw me into a cell already?"

"Uh- I, uh... ok whatever let's just go" I could sense that it finally clicked in his brain that I was a nutcase.

That was fun! The little voice in my head sang cheerily. Playing with nerds is my new favorite hobby.

"You're gonna be in this first cell with Jasper Orozco and Kassidy Hendricks." Brad said half-heartedly, motioning towards the first cell to my right down a hallway of about 20, 10 on either side. I noticed the door had a small window beside it, reinforced with vertically running metal bars. Beyond it, two faces were practically pressed up against the glass. A boy - I assumed it was Jasper - was on the left, and the girl on the right. I looked them straight in the eye and smiled, giving them a little wave. Brad, meanwhile, was fiddling with a big ring of keys, trying to figure out which one fit the lock in the cell door.

I don't know if I could call them cells. Each room was made entirely out of thick, translucent, reinforced black glass. I couldn't make out if there were lights or people inside if it weren't for the small window to the right of each door. The rooms were completely sealed - I couldn't hear a single voice other than Brad's.

Finally, after I had conveniently finished surveying my surroundings, Brad opened the door and motioned me inside. I thought he would come in with me to introduce me, but instead he closed and locked the door behind me and left.

"Ouch. He could have at least said goodbye" I joked. I looked to my right, knowing my new roommates were still at the window. They stood there, frozen, both staring at me with mixtures of emotions I couldn't make out trapped behind their eyes.

"Hi! I'm Vonda." I introduced myself, holding out my hand. "You must be Jasper," I said, grabbing his awkwardly thrust out hand and shaking it like I knew what I was doing. "And you're Kassidy, right?" I leaned over to shake her hand, noticing that both of them were still frozen, staring at me.

"This isn't awkward at all... I'll just explore the luxuries of a 5 star cell while y'all get all your staring done" I said.

Kassidy cleared her throat. "Sorry about that, Jasper and I are just surprised" she finally said. I looked back at her, still smiling.

"That's alright! I get that a lot" I said, laughing. "I know I'm a weirdo. It's ok, I enjoy it."

"Kidnapples don't usually... make out with the kidnappers" Jasper muttered, shaking his head. He shuffled over to the bottom of one of the 2 bunk beds and plopped down, seeming disappointed in his existence... or mine. I wasn't quite sure.

I started to explain, "Ok, yea, that was a little out of line. It's not what it seems..."