Chapter 1
Aviana's POV
September 13th 2016
"And that's the story of Little Red Riding Hood," I smiled and closed the book. "The end," I looked down at her and saw she was sound asleep. Her blonde hair falling down onto her pale forehead. I turned off her Peppa Pig lamp and then kissed her forehead gently. "Goodnight Harper. I love you," I whispered and tucked the blankets around her small, frail body. She flinched a little in response but didn't wake up.
I sighed quietly, standing up. I peered down at her, a contrite expression covering my features. I despised doing this. I know my actions are repugnant but I have to do this for her. If I had a choice, I wouldn't do this.
I heard the door open and shut, it was my mother. I went to greet her, smiling softly at her when I met her in the hallway. Her expression did not mirror mine, I knew she was not pleased with me. I'm not either, but I have to do it.
"Thank you so much for staying here to keep an eye on Harper," I smiled at her with all sincerity. My babysitter had cancelled so I called my mom. I basically had to implore and entreat her to come here, she does not condone what I do. I'm just as ashamed of myself as she is. I wish she would realise that.
"I'm doing it for Harper, not you," she exhaled deeply and walked to the living room, wiping the sofa before she sat down as though it was dirty. I know this isn't the most extravagant apartment but I do keep it clean.
"Just like I'm doing this for Harper as well," I retorted to which she just hummed, uninterested. "Mom, I hate this just as much as you hate it," I sighed deeply, looking over at her. She raised her eyebrows in response and then got up to make herself some tea. A penitent expression covered my features, she either didn't believe it or acted like she didn't see, her reaction was undemonstrative. She went to the cupboard, looking through the mugs until she found one she deemed somewhat clean. She took it to the sink and washed it before she began to make her cup of tea. "I do wash my mugs," I leaned on the doorframe as I watched her.
"Not very well," she responded, turning on the kettle, keeping her eyes on the kettle and not looking at me. I know she's ashamed of me because I'm ashamed of myself too, I just miss my old mother, the one who told me she would love me no matter what happened.
I wish I was making her proud.
I walked over when she didn't turn the tap off after washing her mug. Why is she so profligate, how hard is it to turn off a tap and to conserve water. Small things like that aggravate me.
I saw her smile softly when she saw my persistent ways. it made me smile too. "Well, why are you still here?" She basically snapped as she poured her cup of tea.
"Right," I sighed deeply, playing with the baby hair that refused to be tamed or go into my ponytail. "I'm gonna go then, hopefully I won't be long tonight," I quietly said before walking to my room and getting changed.
I picked up my hair brush, pulling my hair out of it's bauble, allowing my hair to flow over my shoulders. I brushed through it a few times and then ruffled it gently, making it look a bit more voluptuous and luscious.
I grabbed my large wine duffle coat, pulling it on over the provocative clothing I was wearing. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I hated it. I hated myself. I sighed deeply and picked up my bag, putting my heels in it and pulling out the picture of Harper I always keep. I traced over it, it was a baby picture. She has grown so much in the short time span of only two years. I wish we could go back to this era, when she was small and all I had to worry about was if her nappy was clean and if she was hungry.
I thought I was struggling back then, although now, I know my life was straightforward back then, now it is the complete opposite, it is laborious and strenuous.
I tied up my coat, taking purposely longer as I tied each button, just wanting to squander time. Although I knew I needed to be punctual or I would not want to know of the consequences.
I walked to the kitchen then, sighing when I saw my mother left the tea bag on the counter along with a copious amount of crumbs. I picked up the tea bag and threw it in the bin before starting to clean up the crumbs, sweeping them off the counter onto a piece of kitchen roll. I threw that in the bin before washing my hands thoroughly.
I then walked to the hall and slipped on my converse before picking up my bag before trying to leave the house as indiscreet as possible. I was not indiscreet enough because before I could even place my hand on the handle of the door, diminutive hands were gripping my lower leg. I looked down to see Harper of course.
"Hey, you're meant to be in bed, love," I picked her up gently and placed her on my hip. She whined behind her dummy, mumbling something incoherent. I pulled the dummy out of her mouth, earning another whine from her.
"Don't go mommy," she whimpered, looking up at me with her bright blue eyes gleaming under the dim light of the hallway. She knows fine well I only wear this coat when I'm leaving her for this. It keeps everything concealed, it's lengthly, thus it's modest.
"I have to, darling," I whisper, fixing her dishevelled hair, stroking it back into place to which I got a barely audible whine in response which almost broke my heart. I had to act like I wasn't susceptible to occurrences like this but it was the reason I loathed myself.
"Mommy," she gripped my duffle coat in her dainty hand and then buried her face in my chest. I rubbed her back gently and slipped her dummy back into her mouth to pacify her when she started to cry. This happens often, I know she'll be fine once I'm gone and she's asleep, although, even that thought doesn't make this situation any easier.
I deliberately walked as slow as I could down the hall to her bedroom, I wanted to cherish this time I had with her, I also wanted to stall leaving her. I gently laid her down in her bed again and ran my hands through her delicate, blonde hair. She whined behind her pacifier and held her hands out to me.
"Mommy," she cried, which broke my heart all over again. God, why does this have to be so difficult. I pulled the blankets over her, handing her her monkey teddy and kissing her forehead.
"Mommy will be here when you wake up," I whisper to her. There was still fresh tears rolling down her cheeks but she was too exhausted to keep her eyes open. They were drooping closed and she would abruptly open them for a few seconds before they'd slowly close again, eventually staying closed and then her breathing growing louder, indicating she was sleeping.
I took a stance and walked to the door of her room for the second time that night, closing it halfway behind me and then going to the living room to see my mother. "Okay, I'll be heading then," I say to her, in which I only got a grunt of approval in response. I sighed deeply as I walked to the hallway, I know she loves me, she just doesn't love what I do.
I picked up my handbag again and then looked at the calendar that was adjacent to the door before I left, checking the venue I had to attend, just to make sure it was the correct night.
September thirteenth, here we go.
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A/N Sorry, it's a bit short but this was the only material I wanted in the first chapter, can't be giving away too much yet aha ;) I reallllyyyy hope you enjoyed this and if you did please vote and comment, it'd mean a lot to me xx
I love you all for reading this, thanks and don't forget to vote and comment :)
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