Well, hello again.

Now, if you read my stories, you'll realise that I haven't been updating all that much. And for that I'm sorry. But I assume you want more than an apology. You want a reason. So here it is...

As I've mentioned before, I'm depressed...but...it's gotten a lot worse. Far worse than anyone could imagine it would've gotten. There's demons swimming in my head, poisoning the waters of my mind. I've tried to fight them, but I've given up. There's no fight left in me, and no reason in particular to fight them anymore. The voices in my head...they tell me bad things. Things that have happened. Things that I should do. Reminding me of what I've already done and all the mistakes that I've made. And these mistakes...well, they can't be forgotten, or removed, and they can't remain hidden forever.

I know that my friends, who I see practically every day, may see and read this. And then they worry for me. And they may wonder what the fuck is going on in my head. To be honest, I don't really know myself. But to my friends, if you've noticed the change in me lately, you've seen that it's not a good one. And for that...

I'm sorry.

Sorry for making mistakes.
Sorry for not being who I was.
Sorry for being depressed.
Sorry for changing my ways.
Sorry for letting the Demons win.
Sorry for listening to the voices.
Sorry for giving up.
Sorry for not being around as much.
Sorry for hiding away.
Sorry for what I've done.
Sorry for what I'm doing.
Sorry for what I'm going to do.

Don't worry though, you're not gonna lose me. Not for a long while. This is only a glimpse of my dark side. The part of me I hide away and mask with smiles and laughter, because, if you knew who I really was...you'd be scared of me. I'm scared of me. There is so much more to me, that you don't know, and maybe never will. Again, I'm sorry...

But I've lost the battle against my demons.
I've listened to the voices in my head.
I've given up the fight against the darkness.
And now we're friends, the shadows and I.
The darkest part of my mind.

I'm sorry...

But I've lost who I was. I don't know who I am. And I'm scared of who I might become.

I'm sorry...

But I'm...done.

...

I'm sorry...