'Get out, Lanton! Get out!' Yelled Amy.

Hilton crawled to his feet after she'd ushered the dog out of the room. Coughing and patting at his dripping wet shirt, he seemed ready to cry. 'The thing peed in my mouth! Can you believe that?'

There were many things Zach couldn't believe about his morning so far. And now he didn't know whether to sit down or walk out. Then Amy came back.

'Sorry about that.'

'It's alright,' Zach answered, keeping one eye on the door. 'Should I return another day?'

'No need.' Answered Hilton, removing his warm, soggy tie.

Amy shook her head. 'What my colleague means to say is you're hired. It was a close race, but we're confident you're the man for the job.'

Hilton made a choking sound. 'The race is easy when you're the only one running.'

Zach flushed red, and Hilton did as well; he'd not realised he'd spoken aloud.

'The volunteer, Clifford, was correct about one thing, Zach. The museum opens for twenty-four hours some nights, so I hope you're not afraid of the dark.'

'Or wild demon cattle.' Hilton added, trying his best to change the topic.

Zach smiled. 'I think I'll live.'

'Excellent,' applauded Amy. 'Now, I hear that the llamas have broken out of their enclosure again, so we'll need you to help Loftus bring them home.'

'Loftus?'

Hilton pointed at the nearby wall as if that would somehow give Zach all the direction he'd need. 'The man lives in a log hut behind the museum, and his furry creatures mutiny every day. Honestly, Zach, I once found one of his Llamas in our café kitchen.'

'We even had two bolt through the museum doors three weeks ago,' Amy added. 'Munching and spitting, they tried to eat the shop stationary before moving on to coats and bags. Yes, the visitors wearing them weren't thrilled about it either.'

'Which way again?'

Amy and Hilton led Zach back to the museum entrance, and as Hilton slowly opened the door, he glanced from left to right.

'Clifford's gone, isn't he?'

'Clifford,' Amy uttered his name like a curse. 'The nuisance won't have gone home. He'll have driven his buggy around the block, maybe even gone to pick up his friend, Poo Bag Peggy, and he'll be waiting until we open to the public before making another move.'

'But, I thought he vowed never to return.'

Hilton laughed. 'As a volunteer perhaps. Coming back as a visitor is another matter. Clifford likes to wear disguises to throw off suspicion.'

'You've got to be kidding.'

Amy grinned. 'Remember the toupee incident? The guy came in a few years ago with a red hairpiece five times the size of his head and painted on rosy-red cheeks. We couldn't tell if he was going for a Victorian-era look or whether he wanted to be a clown.'

The chuckling pair stopped. There were rumbling car engines in the distance, followed by more than one clunk of doors slamming. Then Hilton inhaled as he noticed the second hand of the hanging wall clock strike twelve. 'We've got to get opened up. Zach, turn left out of here onto the old mud track. It'll take you behind the museum where you'll find Loftus.'

Amy wandered behind the desk. 'Or worst case, his dog, Lanton, will find you first.'

Zach shook his head and walked out the open door. In his haste to make the interview on time, he'd not had the chance to appreciate the countryside scents of hay, freshly mown grass and manure, but he did so now, and it was almost pleasant.

The visitors were approaching the museum gates on foot, so Zach too picked up the pace to stop another Llama mutiny before it could get started. However, he was quickly deceived by a shallow-looking puddle, for once his hiking boot graced the top, it sunk at least ten inches. His shoes were built for walking, not swimming, so it didn't take long before the cold, muddy water drenched his sock.

'Lanton!' 

'Lanton!'

It appeared Loftus was still searching for his dog, so Zach hugged the ground and listened for pattering paws or excitable barking. Birds sang from the depths of towering green trees, unseen bees buzzed, and sure enough, Llamas grunted and grumbled, but there were no signs of the hound.

Zach soon realised he would accomplish nothing while lying down, so he cautiously moved toward the sounds. The wooden fence lining one side of the dirt track was ancient; it was missing several beams and those still standing were soft to the touch and covered with moss, but he stepped on them anyway.

Suddenly, in mid-climb, Zach heard tree branches snapping, bushes rustling and grass crunching. The grunting grew louder, and then he heard Lanton panting and barking. His first day at work was likely to be his last.

Zach repeatedly scanned the perimeter, his head jerking wildly, but the overgrown grass made it impossible to see who was coming, so he dropped and sat with his legs straddling both sides. 'Who's there?'

'CRACK!'

The stranger clipped the fence with a garden shovel before pointing at Zach. 'That's what I ask trespassers. So, boy, why did you set my Llamas free?'

Zach was tripping over his words. 'I-I didn't. Amy and Hilton asked me to help Loftus-'

The three hundred and fifty-pound stranger marched over to Zach, grabbed his arms and yanked him from the fence like a snagged sack of potatoes. 'I'm Loftus, and this is my field. Tell Amy the Llamas are safe, but I can't find Lanton.'

Zach smiled. 'Your dog peed on Hilton in the museum before running outside.'

'CRACK!'

Loftus struck the fence again. 'My dog wouldn't do that; he's a good boy. Where is he now? Lanton! Get over here, or I'll leave you outside all night!'

Zach already didn't like the tatty, bearded oaf, so he knew that spending more time with him would be soul-crushing, but what choice would he have if it was in the job description? 'Lanton.'

Loftus turned around and slammed his shovel into the soil before tonguing his food-crusted beard. 'My dog won't answer to you, boy. Go back to Amy; she can help me better than you ever will.'

Zach was fuming, preparing to do something rash, but the thought of causing the enormous man harm calmed him down. 'I'll fetch her.'

Loftus belched and blew it at Zach. 'You do that, boy.'

During the five-minute walk back, Zach's mind spun. He kicked at soil mounds and the same puddle he'd fallen victim to as he sulked. Had he made a mistake coming to work here? His bosses seemed nice, if not weird, but if people like Loftus and Clifford could behave the way they did, then who or what would he encounter next?

Zach saw movement and stopped just outside the museum entrance, where nobody could see him, but he could see everything.

'That'll be two pounds, please.' Said Amy, reading from the till with a well-practised smile.

'Two pounds!' The visitor shrieked. 'I could have bought my week's shopping with that.'

To Zach's relief, Amy didn't take her shoes off, but instead, she leaned over the counter and tore the visitor's admission into tiny pieces. Each shred of the paper came with a curse; then, she threw the bundle in his face.

'I want to speak to your manager.'

'And I want a pint of lager, but you don't see me whinging about it. Do you want to visit us today or not?'

'Not.' The visitors spun on his heels and almost shoved Zach off his when he bounded out the door.

Zach braced himself, took a deep breath then walked inside. 'Loftus said he wants you.'

'Well, you can tell the blubbering mess that I don't work for him. Zach, help him with his pets, then return to me. One of the cafe's staff has called in sick, and we need you to take orders and wash dishes.'

'Sounds good.' 

The prospect of cleaning and having visitors yell at him didn't sound good, but he was in no position to deny the request, so Zach marched back outside again, ready to give Loftus a piece of his mind.