Tori: We wanted to get everyone in Camp to say at least a sentence... A few declined....

Alyx: I guess we'll just go round the cabins. In no particular order...

Claire: So, um, Travis and Connor, why don't you go first?

Connor: I'm Travis!!

Travis: I'm Connor!!

Connor and Travis: We're not twins!!!!!! Hi.

Clary: I'm Clary!

Connor: Yeah, come by anytime and we can get you Diet Coke!

Travis: For the right price!!

Clary: And if you don't give us the 'right price' we can take it from you anyways!

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Harley: Hello! I'm Harley! I'm in Cabin Nine! If you let me know, maybe I can make you something on your birthday! Nyssa, come say hello!!

Nyssa: Hello. 'S that enough?

Harley: Well, yeah, but you should say a little more!!

Nyssa: I used to be the counsellor, but not any more. Like Harley said, sometimes we make campers little gifts on their birthdays. You've just got to tell us. We look scary, but we're nice.

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Drew: Wait, wait, wait!! I'm not ready yet!! My eyeliner isn't even on yet! Seriously, honey, why would you turn the camera on without asking me? Lucky I always look great. Anyways, hi hons!! Like, if you need dating advice or makeup advice or clothes advice or advice... I'm your gal! I'd like totally give you my Snapchat, but Chiron told me I need to stop being on it 'cuz it attracts monsters. What he doesn't get is that it's not the tech that attracts the monsters, it's my hotness. But what can you do? Someone else go now, I need to reapply my makeup.

Lacy: I'm Lacy and this is Mitchell!

Mitchell: Hi! Yeah, so if... uhhh, Drew is out... We can give you advice instead.

Tori: We're awesome, our cabin's always tidy (we're all kinda neat freaks) and our style is always this season. You'll hear the Apollo kids bragging about their swagness, but we're the ones who give them advice on style...

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Alyx: Anyways, uh, Apollo kids, now's your time to shine!

Claire: We're always shining. Our cabin is made of pure gold, and we make the best celebrities...

Kayla: Although don't let the Aphrodite kids know we said that!!

Austin: We're kinda like the cool kids, but we're also super nice! Will, come say something!

Will: Well, hi! I'm kinda the boss doctor, although we together all run the infirmary.

Kayla: We're great at loads of other things!!

Claire: Most of us are great at archery, and have great aim! Not me, though. If you want archery lessons, Kayla's the one.

Austin: Music, too... I can play the saxophone! Apollo kids often have amazing skill with music!

Will: And if you mess with us, we can curse you with rhyming couplets, which sounds harmless until you realise that everything you say sounds like Chaucer. We're talking a bit, we should let the others speak now.

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Tori: We managed to get a hold of Thalia, so here she is to tell y'all about Cabin One!

Thalia: Yeah, so, is the Iris-message working properly? I hope so, because I'm only saying this once.

Thalia: If you're in Cabin One, you're a Zeus kid. Many people will try to tell you that you shouldn't exist, that your dad broke the oath in having you. Many will automatically assume you're a natural leader, that you should always take charge, that your opinion is the most important. In many ways, that's great! But don't forget that sometimes you need to take a step back and let others lead. It's a matter of trust, which can sometimes be hard when you're a demigod, but when you really think about it, you can't survive alone. Us kids, especially kids of the Big Three, are targeted because of who our parents are. We should all find someone, because when it comes down to life or death, it's better to fight with someone by your side. Which is also why the Hunters fight together. I may not be at camp anymore, but don't forget that you're never truly alone in the world. You just have to look.

Tori: Strong words from Grace there.

Thalia: Thank you, Paris. I worked very hard on it. Thanks for including me, but I really have to go now. If I leave the girls for too long they'll start finding guys to do archery practice on.

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Percy: Hi! I'm on an Iris-message to tell you about Poseidon. My dad. He doesn't really call very often, but the great thing about our lovely camp is that it's by the sea. If you think about it, Dad is never truly far away!

Percy: Sometimes it's a bit creepy when you go by the stables and you can hear everything that the pegasi are saying, but if you earn their friendship then they're really nice and very useful when you need a.... well, hoof.

Tyson: Can I speak now?

Percy: Sure, big guy. Go ahead.

Tyson: Hi, I'm Tyson! I like peanut butter!

Alyx : And now I'll go! I'm Alyx,the shwaggiest shellfish you'll ever-

Percy: Shwaggiest Shellfish?

Alex: Claire's paying me to say that and I need the money so....

Percy: And you wonder why I'm Dad's favourite.

Alyx : Anywayssssss, I'm the only permanent resident of Cabin Three, the best of them all! It's really nice in here, and you'll always be welcome if you need to talk.

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Miranda: Demeter's our mum. She's great!!

Katie: Our cabin always smells really nice because of all the plants that grow everywhere!

Miranda: We even have a grass roof! When it was sunny, our cabin sometimes had picnics up there.

Katie: That was, until Travis and Connor put a goat up there.

Travis and Connor: THAT WASN'T US!

Miranda: Sure, who else would leave a trail of spray cheese all the way up from OUR ROOF and into YOUR CABIN!?

Katie: We've been cleaning up its poop for months!!

Miranda: Do you have the faintest idea how much effort it is to grow grass?

Travis: You make it in three seconds!!

Miranda: Like you know about plants! I haven't ever even seen you touch a vegetable or fruit!!

Travis: Well, I don't believe in 5-a-days!!!

Alyx, Tori, Claire: Moving along...!

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Claire: We were going to invite the Ares kids, but on the way to knock on their door, they saw us coming, fired Nerf guns at us and played rock music really loud until we left. Personally, I think their taste in music is great, but Tori was tugging at me to leave because the sticky bullets were ruining her shirt.

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Alyx: We have Paolo here from the Hebe cabin.

Paolo: Oi. Que devo dizer? Não temos muita gente aqui na nossa cabine, porque é muito nova ainda.

Tori: Um, uh....

Paolo: Eu disse suficiente já?

Tori: He's just saying how camp is great and the food is great and the activities are great. Right?? Uh...

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Alyx: Mr.Pollux respectfully asked if we could skip his cabin, Dionysus, as his head still hurt from drinking too much Coke yesterday. Although I can tell you that I've been there on a few occasions and it's wonderful! It's like the perfect place for a party- there's even a place to hang a disco ball!!!

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Tori: Alyx had to go clean her room for cabin inspection, so it's just Claire and I now.

Claire: Me and Claire!

Tori: But last time I said me and Claire, you almost had a hissy fit! Je ne comprende pas!

Claire: No! It's if- oh, never mind.

Tori: Where are we anyway?

Claire: Good question. Wait. Is that the council of cloven elders?

Tori: So, folks, it would seem we've just stumbled into a meeting between the Council of Cloven Elders and the nymph population of the lake.

Becky D: Naiads! It's naiads!

Claire: There you are! We were looking everywhere for you - I thought you wanted to help out with this chapter.

Becky D: I'm so sorry. I really did want to help, but this meeting came out of the blue and it was obligatory for all naiads.

Claire: Fine, but be sure to show up next time. So, what is going on here?

Becky D: Why?... Oh! You're recording. Um, I'm not too sure. I haven't really been paying attention.

Some Other Random Naiad: CASH FOR COOKS! We're campaigning for equal pay for naiads who help with meals at the camp - duh. I don't know why you even bothered showing up, outcast. It's not like you do any cooking.

Tori: COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE - Oh. She's gone. What was that about, Becky? Also Claire, can we move on soon? All this mud is ruining my bootiful Gucci shoes.

Claire: Well,

Becky D: Um, Claire can tell you later. She's read my diary. Speaking of which, I've not seen it for weeks. How's the download coming on? Will it be ready to publish soon?

Claire: Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! We were going to keep that secret until it's released, remember?

Becky D: Oops. Sorry. Ah Hah! Grover! Grover, come talk to the campers! See you Claire, Tori. Bye readers!

Claire: Becky- Oh, never mind. So Grover, tell us a little about yourself.

Tori: And please stop chewing my designer handbag.

Grover: Blahaha! Sorry, I get nervous around cameras. So, um, I'm Grover Underwood, um, I'm a satyr, blessed by Pan, and, um, I'm Percy Jackson's best friend.

Tori: Yes, thanks Grover. You can go back to the meeting now.

Claire: So, 'who is Percy Jackson?' I hear you ask? Well. That's a very long story. Two series's worth of books, actually. And ongoing. Maybe we'll cover that some other day.

Tori: That basically sums up this chapter. Thanks for voting, and goodnight! Now, let's get out of here before my swagalicious jeans get dirty too.

Claire: Um. Tori, you sound like someone off a game show. Also, what if they read this first thing in the morning? Oh well, it works well enough. Bye all!

-fin-