My first thought while leaving my house was "thank god my friend isn't too far from here."

Everything was quiet and my mind was just blank but every so often I would glance at my computer. My fear subtly would grow every time I looked at it but I kept focus on heading to my friend's house.

---

I finally made it in front of my friend's house and I turned off the ignition of my car.

After having to turn off the ignition, it was defining silent. I started to question if this was really necessary for me to do. If this was me just actually going out of my mind or if this actually happening. Why do I need to worry about this? This has nothing to do with me. So why does it matter? Why can't I let this go? Did something actually happen- it probably did, there's no way they would agree to something like this-

As my head is buzzing with all these different thoughts I realize I almost fell asleep on my car horn. I rubbed my face and grabbed my computer, my keys, and my phone and I left the car, locking it afterwards.

I approached the door and I knocked on it a couple times. As I waited at the door I checked the time. 2:07 AM, man this is a really long night but I can't believe it's this late... or this early, depending how you look at it.

...

I don't get an answer so I just ring the doorbell. I can tell it's still dark in there and I highly doubt the door is unlocked... I think. Well it's better to be safe then sorry, I guess... but I'm really tempted to open the door so I do so.

* C/F/N (Close Friend's Name)

"C/F/N?" I kind of yell through the household. The house is almost pitch black, so I try to look for a switch... bingo! I turn it on- OH-MY-GOD-MY-FRIEND-IS-DEAD-AND-I-DONT-KNOW-WHAT-TO-DO-WHAT-JUST-HAPPEND!?...

...If worst case scenario, so I call my friend to see if their alright.

"I swear to god if you end up being ABSOLUTELY DEAD IM GOING TO TH-"

*Y/N (Your Name)

"Hey Y/N... Finally at my house?"

I sighed with relief. "Yes I am. Mind letting me in?"

"Yes. I do mind."

There was this long pause before they hung up.

I was a bit dumbfounded, not going to lie. Then they opened the door, giving me that tired, irritated look with a hint of sarcasm. I shrugged, stepping in their home and putting my stuff on their table nearby.

They gave me a pillow some blankets and told me to go sleep on the couch, which I did, had no other choice or otherwise they would kick me out.

The lights were turned off and I crashed. I also had a really weird dream straight after. It starts off like this:

I was in a different place with a computer sitting right in front of me. It had a game opened and I just notice a camera monitor in front of me. I can only assume that I'm in someone else's body and mind. For whatever reason I still hadn't a clue of who this person was. Were they about to do something with... any of this?

They take their mouse and close out of the game and soon after stop the recording of the monitor. They sat down and stop for a moment, hanging their head down and rubbing their eyes. For a small period of time, faint whispers were starting to saying their name.

"Ryan"

"Ryan"

"Ryan"

"Ryan"
"Ryan"

"Ryan"

"Ryan"

"Ryan"

"Ryan"

"Ryan"

"Ryan"
"Ryan"

"Ryan"
"Ryan"

"Ryan"
"Ryan"

The voices were only getting louder...

"Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan"
"Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan" "Ryan"

... and louder...

"RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN" "RYAN"

... it kept spinning in his head like a hurricane, it wouldn't let up, until-

"RYAN"

... there was now silence. He started to tear up. He was so tired and so... confused. Why was he in this state of mind... Was it something he missed... He did miss out on opportunities that came his way but for the sheer fact that he was afraid to lose and fail, not only his friends, but his fans too. It was pure insanity and he was also afraid of how much longer he was going to last before slipping up. He had to keep the facade up or people would be questioning what's going on and if he tried to explain it, they would just call him crazy.

The thoughts that were plaguing his mind only made him want to cry even more but he can't, he had to edit and make a thumbnail for this next video for tomorrow.

"How much longer...?"

...

He knew his time was running out but he wanted to prolong the inevitable...

Then I woke up sweating and crying. I grabbed my chest, feeling the weight and the twist in my heart. I couldn't focus, I was back to panicking.

Thankfully my friend was here or otherwise this would've end badly. They did the "Five Senses" activity and I started to come back to reality.

I took a moment to look around my environment. It was daytime and the sun was shining through the window, there were different furniture in their kitchen, then looking down the hallway, the stairs, and the couch I slept on last night/this morning...

Then I made eye contact with my friend... who was giving me a very concerned expression.

They calmly spoke, "now since you made bearing of my household, can you please tell me what brought you to feel this way?"

I just stared blankly but they waited patiently. So I took a deep breath in and breathed out.

I built up the confidence and said...