His feet ached. Papyrus kept crying, loud and obnoxious, causing Sans to wince. His feet ached, his brother wouldn't stop crying and now Sans was sick. He sniffed, bones shivering as his magic flared up. Everything hurt, it sucked, and he was... all alone.

Then shoes stepped in front of him in the snowy domain of the Underground. Dress shoes.

He looked up slowly. Black, slick dress pants. Further. A dark suit and red tie. And, at the top, a faceless head. Pale. Bald. Looking down at him.

Sans woke up gasping.

He clutched at the front of his pajama shirt as he gasped, sucking in air. One, two, three. His bones felt raw with magic and his eye socket was flaring up. He didn't scream, nor cry. It was just a shocked gasp that had escaped him. Desperate for breath as if it was stolen from him.

What the fuck was that? Why did he have a dream about that man in his childhood? How dare he taint his already awful childhood?

Sans sighed, running a hand down his skull to calm his nerves. No. He promised himself he wouldn't look at that man like Undyne looked at them. He knew they were different. And he couldn't judge them like she did, considering his own past.

Maybe that's why he dreamed of him there. It was his own subconscious telling him that he was no better. And that, at the end of the day, Sans would take this mysterious tall man over his Dad any day.

"Alright, I'll be honest, I was expecting a nightmare. Slenderman does do that to you."

There was a woman in his room. And not in the good way.

She was standing by the windowsill, arms crossed, watching him in careful movements. She certainly did look different from all of the other killers Sans has seen so far. While they all had more rugged looks to them, hers was more eloquent and refined.

Slick black hair ran down in soft waves, framing her soft, burnt pale face. Her eyes were dark, like an empty ocean, and similarly painted lips parted slightly in a smile. Her dress matched the color scheme, framing the woman's obvious curves and leaving not much to the imagination. Her heels lifted her already tall structure an inch higher.

She seemed... like a ghost, if that made sense. A whisper of the dark night outside that somehow created a siren like form within his room.

Sans didn't know why the hell that came to mind, but he was still rather sleepy from whatever fucking dream he just had, and hey, she was hot. You couldn't pop both of those onto him at the same time while he was still groggy.

"Do you break into guys rooms often?" Sans asked.

"Quite. Though mostly it's for robbing or murder, can't exactly say my reasoning this time is a usual for me," She admitted. A hand outstretched towards him. "How about we take a walk?"

Sans eyed the hand. "And I'm guessing you don't usually take guys out for walks?"

"No. This is a special occasion. Why not do some new things?"

He wasn't sure what to think. If anything, she was probably trying to lure him out to get him away from his serial killer friends. He wouldn't put it past her.

"Why should I?"

She tilted her head and shot back her answer. "Why shouldn't you? You live with serial killers, and those being emotionally unstable teenagers or children on top of it. I doubt safety if your number one concern right now. And I'm not here to kill you. I would have done so in your sleep."

Fair. Alright. Guess he might as well.

Sans made sure to drag the box into his pocket out of pure habit as he climbed out of bed, shuffling towards the stranger within his bedroom. "I'm Sans, by the way."

"I'm Jane, and I already know."

Ah. So this was the woman who he hated with all of his being. She seemed to be in her early twenties, and Jeff was only 16... how the fuck did he manage to piss off a random adult woman this badly?

Jane broke Sans out of his thoughts by suddenly lifting him up by scooping her arms underneath his legs and back, carrying him towards the window. "No time to waste, skeleton, I have things to do."

Sans turned his head from being particularly close to a part of a woman's body that was kind of revealed in that dress and now at face height, instead moving up to grip her shoulders. "Uh, mind if I hold onto ya for stability?"

"I don't mind."

And just like that, Sans was being whisked off from his house. Damn was he easily kidnapped, if this was all it took.

~~~~~~

"I have a deal for you."

She had brought him to the very park benches he had been sitting at earlier, hair softly fluttering in the cold breeze. It was a pleasant temperature out tonight.

However, they weren't alone anymore.

One woman, with a clock for an eye, stood against a tree. Wearing a light jacket, large boots, and a deep scowl. On the other side of them was another woman, with stitches on her mouth, pure white hair, and intense eyes. Beautiful. Upset and outdoorsy. And plain weird. The three styles oddly complimented each other.

"What deal?" Sans asked.

"You see, I'm assuming you know we're already CreepyPasta," She said, moving a hand with a gesturing motion. "So we have enemies. A few allies on our side, but that always comes with... backstabbing. Anyone, Clockie?"

"No one," The woman with the clock grunted out. "We're safe. He seems to be keeping his distance."

"What?" Sans asked.

"Slenderman. I don't know why he's decided to personally keep his distance from you, considering that he sends his proxies to stalk around, but..." Jane said, fingers locked together now. "We're just making sure to have privacy when I offer you this deal. I'm not sure how others will react."

Slenderman seemed to haunt Sans. Before, he was like a plague, inducing anxiety and fear whenever slightly remembered. Now, it was a simple sense of uneasiness and...

Curiosity.

To calm himself, Sans started to tap the picnic table's wood. It slightly splintered under his bones. Okay, maybe that was too hard.

"Proxies?" He asked.

"People who work for him. You do realize he's been sending his workers to watch you, right?"

Almost instantaneously, Sans whipped his head around to look at the forest. He was... How long? How long had this been happening?

"Calm down, if he wanted to make you a victim he would have stalked you himself. What this means is that you're a little important. Probably because you have Sally, though. And I'm not stupid as to pass up an opportunity like this."

"I don't get it, I'm not special," Sans said.

Well, arguably, he "technically" was. Sans did have unusual, freaky magical talents, and knew a lot more than he let on. But this guy shouldn't know any of that. Sans kept those secrets so close to his chest that it'd take a lot of force to cough up so willingly. Fuck, Paps still thought their parents both died in the war.

"I think you're lying." She leaned in slightly, tilting her head. "Though I don't know the answer, I just know you are at least somewhat special. I mean, look at your home life. You saw a murder, and instead of being petrified of all murders, you instead take them in and keep them safe. You aren't normal, at the very least." Her lips then parted in an excitement, small smile, then she pressed her head further towards his body. "You're broken, aren't you? Just like us?"

"Broken?" The woman wearing the scarf suddenly squealed, lifting a large hammer. "Can I break him?"

"Zero, no," Clock sighed, "Not now."

She huffed, then dropped her weapon. It collided with the dirt, pressing out a little thudding sound before the wind picked up.

"What if I am?" Sans asked, "Does that make me more worthless to you?"

"No, quite the opposite."

Jane, brushing aside her own hair, settled back into her seat. Clock, noticing her shift, grinned and turned away. What the hell was going on with these three?

"All CreepyPasta are just like that. Broken. Betrayed. Becoming alone, isolated. That's how we become... us." Jane outstretched an arm, holding her palm open. "Come here, Zero."

Zero obliged, before quickly leaning down. Jane took no time to let her hand shift upwards, rubbing along her cheek.

"Look at my sweet girl, look at what they did to her," Jane said, turning back towards Sans. "She was just a girl who wanted to play and live a real life. Then her only friend got abused. She was trapped in a body of a girl who didn't remember nor care about her, forced to endure physical trauma everyday for being unable to escape. Having to watch her own body get destroyed, but never being able to control that body. The world did this to her. To me. To all of us." She pulled Zero down, resting her forehead against hers. "She never did deserve this, yet the society you willingly follow decided she deserved it for no other reason than being slightly different. So we break free from that society and destroy it from the outside in revenge for destroying us. And you understand, don't you? The pain of hiding away wounds, forcing yourself to appear perfect just to appease others who want nothing but perfection and the status quo..."

Sans pulled at his sleeves. He didn't really want to think about that.

"Wait," He realized, perking up in his seat, "Are you trying to make me become a... a CreepyPasta?"

"I knew you were a smart man," Jane said, outstretching her other arm towards him. "Not a full on CreepyPasta, you see, it'd become troublesome if you were to start a killing rampage because you'd be on the streets just like us. My deal is simple. Become an 'honorary' CreepyPasta or sorts. No killing. Just... help. For me and my girls."

"What does that entail, exactly?"

"A stable place to crash if the police are on our tails. Food and shelter. What the others are using out of you, pretty much. However, we can offer more than measly chores in return."

Okay, now he was somewhat interested in their offer. Not sure if he was going to accept it, since it felt like there was more fine print to be added, but he was interested in it. "What offer?"

"Think about it," Clock had said, leaning against the table between them, "About the freedom. You won't be tied down to people anymore, people who hold you back. We can help you, show you who they are. You are so much more talented than they are. Why not take a ride inside of my jeep, feeling the wind across your bones, unrestricted by society."

"Are you asking me to abandon my brother and friends?" Sans demanded, "What the fuck?"

"Mhm!" Zero added quickly.

Jane leaned against her elbow. "Listen, Sans, the choice is yours. Either you leave him, or he'll abandon you one day. I know we can't prove how he behaves behind your back without evidence, and I know that you'd never believe us without that, but you have noticed the signs, haven't you? They gave you a taste of love when you saw the murder, you ate it up, and now they're leaving you out to dry again."

He couldn't believe this. What kind of offer was that? "Hey, we want your help, so in return we're going to help you abandon the only family you have left!" Yeah, no thanks, he didn't want that.

"I'm just going to go," Sans muttered, standing up.

"How about a test?"

What?

Sans turned towards Jane. Out of one of her dress pockets, she pulled out a single slip of paper and flung it towards him. He barely managed to snag it, fumbling because his catching skills were shit. Zero full on just snorted at him. 

Unfolding the paper, he found something incredibly rare. A personal meeting with Mettaton paper. Now, Sans knew Papyrus adored that robot, and this would have made his brother freak out and do flips.

"How'd you get this?" Sans asked.

"A pretty face goes a long way." She stood up, running a hand over Clock's head as she stalked towards Sans around the table, like a predator observing her prey. Not in a deadly way, no. Sans couldn't describe it.

"Guess so, these are hard to come by," Sans muttered.

"The test is this -" She gently took the paper back out of Sans' hands. "I'll pose as Mettaton's agent and have one of my girls slip this to Papyrus during a show, but with a fake location on it for the meeting. We'll chat over coffee or something. And I might just so 'happen' to let it slip that a family member could go with him if he wants them to for the reschedule, since Mettaton just happened to cancel."

Oh, that's what she was trying to get at, huh? Give Papyrus some tempting offer and see if he'd want to take Sans along.

"That ain't really a test, my bro would take me, he loves me," Sans said.

Jane smiled. "Why not do the test, anyways? If you have so much faith in him then you must be confident in his answer. And it'd let him go see Mettaton."

Sans stared up at her. His bro would take him. Course he would. At the very least he'd offer. Even though he loved Mettaton, he wouldn't be that selfish and completely exclude Sans from the offer.

"A test of selflessness, huh?" Sans asked.

"A test of love. Sure, he may love you for caring for him, but does he love you enough to let you know about something he loves more? Or will he be greedy and hope to hog the attention for himself?"

Sans squinted. It wasn't like he would lose anything over this deal. And, when Papyrus did invite him, Sans could just say no so his brother got the attention he deserved.

"Fine then, deal for the test," Sans said, pushing out a hand to be shook.

"If I win, then you have to at least partially accept my offer," Jane said, "About the housing and food. But, if you win, I'll leave you and Jeff alone forever."

However, when she grabbed his hand, she suddenly dragged him forward, leaning down too his height.

"To leave a parting gift," Jane spoke softly, "So you can remember me."

Yeah, Sans only realized she had kissed him when it was over.

It was so fast! How the hell could an awkward romantic guy like him process it? One moment, intense test deal about his brothers love towards him, the next, a tongue was in his mouth and he was not prepared. And, the last moment, her pulling away with a satisfied smile. Sans practically thudded to the ground behind him, dry dirt coating his pants as a shaking hand covered his teeth, blushing ever so intensely.

"Call me if you want a collar like my girls too, I don't mind adding a boy into our nights," She said, offering him a curt wave before they turned. "Though I am a top, expect the kinky shit from me. I never go easy."

Sans stood there in shock, face glowing blue in the nights darkness as his magic buzzed in his mouth, a response to the stimulus.

Oh. Okay. So that just...

He quickly turned, still profusely blushing, and made his way home. He needed to go to bed to process this. 

And maybe some alcohol. Maybe a lot of alcohol.