Sans just... didn't know what to say. He thought things were good now. Better, at least. He and Papyrus agreed they had to talk about that night. But this was something he wasn't anticipating.

"Sans, Sally was the one who ripped up her bear."

He didn't know what to say.

Because he wasn't sure who was telling the truth anymore.

"I'll talk to you later."

It did seem a little suspicious. Papyrus wouldn't mercilessly destroy something without at the very least apologizing. Which he hadn't done. In fact, he seemed confused. As had everyone else. And, of course, Sally was a serial killer, which easily demonstrated she was not above doing bad things from time to time. Like lying about her stuffed animal getting destroyed.

But, it made sense if it was someone else.

If it was Undyne.

Sans knew she and Paps were close. And Papyrus has covered for her for other things multiple times throughout their friendship. It'd make sense if Papyrus had quickly taken her bear and tried to pressure her into forgetting about it, but Sally ended up crying anyways.

But of course his bro wouldn't lie to him. Then why would Sally? Much less rip up Charlie? She adored that little bear. 

"Do you think Sally lied?"

Sans was lying on his bed, his newly obtained stuffed sloth resting on his chest. Next to him sat Smile Dog, whose tail was wagging slowly.

"About Charlie? And who did it?"

"Yeah. That."

Smile Dog glanced over. "I'm not sure."

"Darn it."

It would just be so much easier if a third, unbiased party came in and told the truth. Because now Sans was a little confused. Which was it? Was someone lying to him? And why?

"I'm going to go grab a smoothie."

"You're going to blend something at -" Smile Dog paused, glancing at the clock. "- 11 pm?"

"My house. My rules. You all are crashing here, remember."

"I do. I'm just glad to see you got some of your fight back now. It looks like you're slowly... well, us being around is helping."

Right. They were. Sans probably would still be huddled under blankets, shivering and barely eating if they weren't around. He was actually functioning now.

The skeleton shuffled downstairs, holding the stuffed plush for whatever reason he couldn't recall, and tossed some frozen fruit onto the counter. It was nice, admittedly, to eat full meals again. Whatever curse had plagued him seems to be smothered now whenever he had a serial killer of their type nearby. But, if he was alone, it'd come back. And he didn't like the thought of that at all.

"Hey, can you make me one?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

Once the smoothie was accomplished, as he liked to call making anything ever, he poured two cups and slid one on the counter to the boy. Then turned, silently taking a sip from his own mug. He should really figure out this kids name soon.

Wait.

He didn't know the damn kid. That wasn't Jeff.

Sans turned his head so fast that his skull might have flown off if not for his magic keeping it on his neck. What was it with random children sneaking into his house and sitting in his kitchen? Because there, sipping his fucking smoothie, was a boy Sans has never met.

"Hey," He said, snapping his fingers and pointing towards Sans. "Not a bad smoothie."

One single look was taken to identify this kid was also not normal. His eyes were black and red, with thick lines of blood seeping from them. Ruffled blonde hair, and - was that Sans' fucking shirt? He was wearing Sans' shirt!

"CreepyPasta?" Sans asked.

"Yeah." The kid paused to take a sip of his smoothie. "And I wanted comfy clothes so I stole your shirt and pants."

"Just..." Sans rubbed the tip of his nose socket. Okay. Another CreepyPasta he had to deal with. "How did you get in?"

"Through the T.V. I have the same powers as Smile Dog, but like, so much better." He gestured towards the T.V as he spoke "So I noticed you were taking in a lot of CreepyPasta and decided to join the party. So take care of me."

Sans almost threw his smoothie at him. He already had so much on his plate that adding another serial killer kid onto his list was not something he think he could do. He already had everything covered! A difficult situation with his friends, a little girl that he adopted who was secretly forty years old and killed people, a dog that also killed people, and a teenager who was a fucking idiot. And also killed people. He had all of his bases covered for a stable life now! He did not want to become a serial killer babysitter.

"Listen, kid -"

"Ben."

"Ben, kiddo, dude, I can't -" Sans moved to sit down across from him. "Yer gotta understand I can't hide, like, an army of fucking CreepyPasta in my house."

Ben grinned. "Sure you can."

"No, I can't. I already have to take care of Sally and Jeff, make sure no one finds out Smile Dog can talk, and I literally have a cop friend who runs the monster police force who I'm also unsure if she did something or -"

"Wait, you mean Undyne?"

He knew Undyne?

And just like that, it clicked.

"You were the one who told Sally about me, weren't you?" Sans asked, leaning forward against the counter. Smoothie long forgotten.

Ben tilted his head. Another trail of blood dribbled from his eyelids. "Bingo."

"Just how long have you been watching me, then?"

The T.V droned on the news behind them. A lot of murder reports, naturally. Some gutted of their organs from a few towns over. A lot of disappearances.

"Dude, Smile Dog and I, we're the best of buds. So when I saw him got adopted, like, I couldn't not stalk and watch that shit show, ya know? Then you brought in Jeff, and I realized Sally could probably get a good home outta this. And now I'm here."

"Does that mean you saw the..."

"Oh." Ben leaned forward, a shadow casting over his eyes. "Oh. You want to know who's the blabbering fool and who was telling the truth, huh? Yeah. I watched poor Charlie get fucked by someone on purpose."

"On purpose?"

"It was intentional. And I watched. Because I knew why Smile Dog was calling and figured I'd watch from Toriel's T.V. to see what everyone else was doing."

"Then who did it?"

"I'll tell you if you agree I can crash here like Jeff is."

God fucking -

Sans rubbed the sides of his skull. These last couple of months have been wild. He went from being a normal lazy skeleton to witnessing a murder, then housing a lot of similar murderers in his house because he was too scared to dial his brothers number and actually ask for help. And he might take in another just to see if he could trust his friends or Sally now.

It should be obvious. His friends and brother. He's known them for years. And it was several adults against one little girl.

So why was he so... confused over it? Was this him being a bad friend? Was he being manipulated?

"Know what? Fine? Why not run a serial killer babysitting service, since I keep taking in murderous kids at this point..." Sans groaned, leaning against his arm. "But starting to feed a lot of people like this without anyone working is going to drain my bank account fast, even if monsters got a lot of money."

"Eh, it's fine, I just steal money from cults who steal money or rich people who pocket stuff and are major assholes," Ben said.

"So that means you're paying for your and Jeff's food then," Sans said.

"Whatever. That means I don't have to clean then!"

Right. It was a mess in here. Sans was still pretty terrible at cleaning up. Usually Smile Dog picked up things, but was limited by... you know, being a dog.

"Fine," Sans said.

Ben took a long sip of his smoothie. After he finished, he set down the now empty cup with a grin. "Yeah, it was Undyne."

It...

"What?" Sans' voice sounded much more quiet.

Ben, noticing Sans' expression, leaned closer. "I watched the whole thing. And I'm telling out of pure honesty because I care about Sally. Undyne had grabbed Charlie, because she wanted to get Sally out of the house faster, and ripped his head off. Papyrus took him to take off the blame from her and try to pin it on Sally." He tapped his finger against the counter. "It was Undyne. Your friends, well, they might not be... the exact type of people you think they are."

His soul hurt.

~~~~~~

After letting Ben crash on the couch, Sans ended up sitting at the counter for awhile. Hands folded. Just thinking. About what Ben said.

Undyne did that on purpose. Because she didn't like Sally. Bless Paps heart, covering for her, but still. Why didn't she just tell him upfront? Sure, he knew she struggled with showing emotions, but destroying Sally's close friend? Especially after Sans warned her about Sally having family trauma? What kind of friend was that?

He really didn't know. So he texted Papyrus.

'I know it wasn't you, and that ur covering for Undyne, bro, but you shoulda told me sooner. I told you guys Sally uses Charlie to cope and you just let that happen? I dunno bro, that's rough'

He placed the phone onto the counter, sighing. Now he was more stressed than before. It would have been easier if it was just what Sans assumed first. That Papyrus accidently broke it. That was the best explanation. Then the Sally blame came in, and now Ben and the reveal.

He really wished life was just... simple again. Not confusing. Just one or a couple of problems.

"Hey, you don't look so good, are you..." Smile Dog stopped his trot once he saw Ben in the living room. "Oh god damn it, Ben, get the fuck out."

Slowly, Ben cracked open an eye. "No." He then rolled over and flipped off Smile Dog.

"Why are you letting him stay here? He's a brat who copies my powers!" Smile Dog said.

"Hah, you wish you had my powers! He's copying me!" Ben snorted.

"He's paying groceries," Sans mumbled.

"That's right, I pay rent to live here now, what have you done, smiley doggie?"

Smile Dog didn't even hesitate. "I helped Sans learn what CreepyPasta were, helped him climb through the worst of Slenderman's curse, and also probably stopped him from killing himself."

"Yeah, no, he wins hands down," Sans said to Ben, "Become a therapist and you might rank higher."

"Are you..." Smile Dog said, still looking at Sans. He paused, seeing his face. "Sure you're okay."

"No, I just... I found out Paps was covering for 'Dyne, and now I realize I gotta confront them about this," Sans groaned, "Smile Dog, can you go tell Jeff and Sally that Ben's here now, because I think I needa go... lie down, yeah."

"I will."

~~~~~~

It was a bit awkward at first. All of the serial killers sitting in the silent living room. They did all have a history, though some of them separate.

"You knew Ben?" Sally asked excitedly.

"He and Smile Dog always bump into each other on the internet. I've heard of their encounters." Jeff ran a hand through his black hair, avoiding Ben's wiggling eyebrows phase.

"And he admitted he had a crush on me!" Ben giggled.

Jeff turned fast, an annoyed scowl on his face. "I was drunk and thought it was funny! You know I'm aromantic!"

"I'm sorry, you were drunk?" Smile Dog asked, looking over.

Jeff pressed his mouth shut, looking awkwardly at the ceiling. "... I mean I didn't drink that vodka like I promised because, even though I'm a serial killer, underaged drinking is really really wrong."

"Right answer." Smile Dog said.

"I know Ben because he brought me stickers!" Sally said, clapping her hands together.

Ben pointed at her. "Yeah, she's my friend. She's fun to play with."

"That doesn't..." Smile Dog sighed. "What I want to know is why Sally and Ben both lied. It's obvious to everyone but Sans, since he's a pile of oblivious bones, that Sally tore up Charlie instead of Undyne. And Ben covered for her. I want to know why."

"Dude, you actually pulled a 180 stunt like that on them? Nice," Jeff snorted, raising a hand up for Sally. "Uptop, girl."

"Jeff!"

At Smile Dog's snap of his name, Jeff's hand quickly returned to his hoodie pocket.

"I dun't have to explain to you," Sally pouted, hugging her knees to her chest. "I don't like them. I like the CreepyPasta family he's building, I don't like the normal people. So I got rid of them. That's it."

Smile Dog then looked at Ben. "I'm guessing that's why you lied, because she's you're only friend?" He asked.

"I lied because his friends are bastards who are lying to his face. All of them." Ben crossed his arms. "I've been watching them since the start of Smile Dog and Sans' encounter, too. Because I was curious. And bored. Okay, super bored, killing ain't as fun anymore." He shook his head. "But I learned something about fish bitch that made me realize they aren't exactly... good. At all."

"What did you see?"

"I... This happened after Undyne and Alphys left the house."

~~~~~~

Undyne was the one who got into the car first. She pulled out her usual ponytail, running a hand through her thick red hair. Once that was done, she pulled out her fanny pack she carried. More optimal than a purse for her.

"I don't like how we have to lie," Alphys muttered as she closed her door.

"Would you rather him come?" Undyne asked.

"No. I don't want him to."

"Then we're going to have to lie."

And, out of her fanny pack, she pulled out her engagement ring and slipped it onto her finger.

"Alphys, it's either we blab about getting married and have to invite him, or we keep lying and it doesn't hurt him! Everyone's okay like this!" Undyne watched as Alphys placed on her own engagement ring. "The others agreed to lie, and he doesn't talk to anyone else, so it'll be fine. We can get married without him attending then just say we got married without any wedding."

"I still, I..." Alphys said, "I feel bad. I mean, I know he avoided us for a few months, but still..."

"This isn't about him avoiding us, that's emotional bullshit I don't understand, you knew I never was... well, super fond of him. His jokes. Or his humor in general. I love Papyrus, man, so I always supported Sans when I could, but this is supposed to be our dream wedding! And it wouldn't be my dream if he was there. I'd have to pretend to like him, and then he might've had to be on the committee with everyone else."

"I think we should have just told Sans we just want to be friends with Papyrus instead of him, you know. Instead of sneaking out behind his back and planning a bunch of things without him. It feels mean."

"Hey, we still did hang out with him! And he's not annoying all of the time."

"No, I don't... is it bad that I was the one who suggested we shouldn't have even bothered to invite him today? I knew he was going to end up ruining it anyways."

"No, you were right on point, babe. The kids a brat, like him."

"He's a brat just because his humor is bad puns?"

"Kinda. Even Papyrus agrees! He didn't text him all of last week because he was avoiding him. And hey, we're his only friends, right? It's not like Sans is ever going to find out."