TW: SELF-HARM

EVEN WITH A SOUL INTACT, Mazikeen hadn't lost her fiery personality and the demonic side of her that Izzy adored so much. As much was confirmed when Lucifer came over to their apartment with a proposal that, to Mazikeen, was most intriguing, but to Izzy, was absolutely a terrible idea.

"What do you mean you're going to prank Dan?" she asked in concern, painfully aware that her friend was going through it in every sense of the phrase, the discovery of the Devil and all things celestial taking its toll on the man. He was struggling greatly to come to terms with it all, not to mention his massive fear of going to Hell – so the idea of pranking him on top of everything didn't please Izzy.

"He shot me, Izzy! I must exact my revenge on the man. I won't have it any other way. I've been planning this ever since he pulled the gun on me. It's going to be wonderful, and Mazikeen here is going to play the starring role", he declared while Maze made a dramatic bow. Giving him a serious look, Izzy folded her arms over her chest and sighed.

"Do what you must, but I won't be part of it. He needs at least one person to trust", Izzy decided, and with a groan, Lucifer accepted defeat.

"Very well. I admire your integrity. But I trust you won't tell Daniel about this?" he asked hopefully, and as much as Izzy wanted to call him up right now and warn him, he supposed that a little payback for trying to put Lucifer in the ground was in order. So, reluctantly, she shook her head.

"I'll just avoid him for the day. Go easy on him, alright?" Izzy requested with worry etched on her forehead, only for Lucifer to dismiss her concerns with a chuckle.

"I will do no such thing. Thank you, ladies!" With that, he kissed the top of Izzy's head and headed for the front door, earning a roll of eyes from Isadora who turned to Mazikeen. The demon grinned at her with promises of how fun it was going to be but failed to convince Izzy.

"I'd rather not go to Hell because I feel guilty about Dan", Izzy stated matter-of-factly, making Maze snort. "Anyway, I have an appointment with a therapist, so I should get going. I'm a little nervous, to be honest", the redhead continued while getting up from the couch, wiping her clammy palms against her jeans before grabbing her keys and phone from the kitchen counter.

"Oh, baby, it'll be alright. And if she sucks, I'll personally kick her ass. Deal?" Maze suggested, appearing behind Izzy just to get one more kiss in before she could leave.

Smiling, Izzy returned the kiss, passionately leaning in. "Deal", she muttered after pulling away, wiping Mazikeen's hair away from her face before stepping away. "Tell Dan I had nothing to do with the prank."

///

IZZY WAS HAPPY TO COME TO THE CONCLUSION that one Nancy Langley was the therapist for her. She had met up with two therapists already, so she had certainly hoped that third time would be the charm. Not only was it tough on her bank account to keep seeing therapists that didn't work out long-term, but it also wasn't emotionally easy, either. Every time she had to dredge up the past and go through the gory details, and it was a painful process she wasn't a fan of repeating. So, needless to say, she had been counting on Dr. Langley to be the one – and she had been delighted to be proven right. The woman had the right tools for helping Izzy, and she was supportive but didn't fear challenging Izzy and her ways of thinking and believing when the situation called for it. Izzy liked that about her, and so, they had agreed on another appointment the following week.

Once Izzy got out of the session, she noticed that she had multiple missed calls from Dan, and as much as it pained her, she decided not to call him back. Whatever Lucifer had cooked up for him had to be a handful, and Izzy didn't want to get involved – she wasn't going to take either one of their sides, knowing that Dan shooting Lucifer was a poor decision, but so was pulling an elaborate prank as revenge. So, while Maze and Lucifer were up to their tricks, she decided to stop by the precinct to see how everyone was doing without her.

As soon as Izzy entered the bullpen, her doubts of whether or not she had even been missed evaporated, as Kai immediately ran to her and pulled her into a tight hug. "Oh, miss ma'am, you have no idea how much I've missed you. After every shift I've thought about coming to see you but it's always so late", the Nolan pouted, but the smile Izzy directed at him confirmed there were no hard feelings.

"Hey, I get it. That's why I figured I should come and visit you over here", Izzy pointed out before lifting up the box in her hand. "I brought donuts, too."

Placing a hand on his chest, Kai sighed. "A woman after my heart", he proclaimed while taking the box from Izzy's hand and tossing it on his desk so he could flip open the top and reveal all the delicious goodies inside.

"I thought I was your only one", Chloe appeared from one of the interrogation rooms, pretending to be offended while grabbing one of the donuts and giving Kai a teasing look. The man opened his mouth to defend himself, but she was quick to reassure him. "I'm kidding, handsome. I miss Izzy, too", she said, giving Isadora a smile before biting into the donut.

"Well, I'm happy to announce that I found a new therapist today, so hopefully I'll be stable enough to be back soon. I'm really trying to work on all my problems so I can continue studying for the detective's exam", Izzy shared, both of her friends nodding in understanding while munching on the donuts.

"Maybe you can steal Dan's desk", Kai joked, earning a chuckle from Izzy, while Chloe looked concerned.

"What's up with him, anyway? He's been so off today", she contemplated, and feigning innocence with a shrug, Izzy cleared her throat.

"No idea", she coughed, "anyway, I'm gonna take one of these to Ella, see how she's doing." She grabbed a donut from the box and after giving Chloe's shoulder a squeeze, she stepped over to Ella's lab where the woman was quietly humming a song Izzy couldn't recognize. The sound made her smile, and not wanting to startle her, she knocked on the door of the lab, causing Ella to look up from the evidence laid out on her table.

"Hey, Izzy! What brings you here?" the Lopez inquired curiously, a faint smile on her face, but Izzy could tell it was burdened with something. Her voice, while bright, wasn't as cheerful as Izzy was used to, and the realization made her heart heavy with concern.

"Figured I'd just check in with everyone. I brought you a donut. How are you doing?" she treaded carefully, and at the question, the light in Ella's eyes dimmed just a bit. Apparently, it was a loaded question, but one that Izzy considered important to ask. She could tell Ella was slipping from them a little, and she didn't want to lose her grip on the woman entirely.

Hesitating, Ella dropped the pen in her hands onto the table. "Not so great, to be honest. After Pete, I just haven't been... myself, I guess. I've been thinking... what if I'm a bad person?" she voiced quietly, earning a deep frown from Izzy who rounded the table and made her way to Ella.

"You're the furthest thing from a bad person, Ells. Pete doesn't know you, but I do. Mariah does. We all do. And we see you for who you are – an amazing friend, a great forensic scientist, and a thoroughly good person", she swore, meaning every word, even if the look on Ella's face was shadowed by disbelief, suggesting that she didn't quite buy what Izzy was selling. "I'm serious. You're exactly what this city, this whole world needs", the Holt added for good measure, causing a small smile to ignite on Ella's lips.

"Thanks, Izzy. I've been thinking maybe I should see Linda about this whole thing", she theorized, and with an encouraging nod, Izzy placed the donut she was still carrying on the table and reached for Ella's hand.

"I can definitely recommend her. She's great at what she does", Izzy assured, squeezing Ella's hand, "either way, you're going to be okay, I promise." Tenderly, Ella snaked her arms around Izzy's body and hugged her, lacking her usual enthusiasm but Izzy could tell the love was still there. She wrung her own arms around Ella and rocked side to side as they gently embraced, Ella's shorter figure almost entirely enveloped by Izzy's tall frame.

"Okay, I'm gonna head home. Enjoy the donut, okay? There's more out there unless Kai already got to them", Izzy broke the silence between them with a grin, and chuckling, Ella nodded with the promise of doing exactly that.

Izzy didn't feel very good about leaving her side, but as she headed for the elevator, she ran into Mariah and the two women exchanged smiles – or more like, Izzy sent a smile her way and in return she got a curt nod of acknowledgment. Regardless, she was happy that Ella had someone who could look after her, the way Maze looked after her. The thought comforted her as she got in her car and drove home, thinking about all the twists and turns that had taken place in such a short time.

Once through the front door, Izzy found Mazikeen and Elaine giggling in the living room, making the redhead smile. She loved to see Maze get along with her family, especially considering she had lost her own neglectful mother – Diane was doing well at filling those shoes as a mother-in-law, and now with Elaine staying with them, there was another maternal figure in Maze's life.

Kicking her shoes off, Izzy tossed her keys on the kitchen counter and then trailed over to the living room. "What's got you two girlies gossiping?" she queried while taking a seat next to Maze, who didn't hesitate to throw her arm over Izzy's shoulders in a protective hold. Izzy leaned into it, dropping her head on Mazikeen's shoulder and wrapping her own arm over the demon's waist, a sight that made Elaine smile.

"Your aunt here was just telling me about her first date with Linda", Maze grinned, and with widening eyes, Izzy turned to Elaine who blushed.

"It was a real nice time. And turns out, we have some history together. In college when I was figurin' things out, you know, findin' out I like women and all that, I called a hotline. 1-800-PROFESSORFEELGOOD. Whaddya know, Linda was the operator", the woman explained bashfully, and in response, Maze cackled and clapped her hands together. Izzy couldn't help but chuckle, as well, remembering well the first time she had heard about the hotline from Linda – never would she have imagined that her aunt had been one of her callers.

"That's the best thing I've heard in a long time", Maze cheered, "man, you're brilliant, Elaine."

The older woman bowed her head in gratitude, a flattered hand on her chest as she got up from the armchair. "Thanks, y'all. I think I'm goin' to retire for the evenin'. Linda recommended me a book and I can't wait to get started. See you lovebirds tomorrow", she sighed wearily, and after an echo of good nights from Izzy and Mazikeen, Elaine disappeared into the guestroom, leaving the two girlfriends alone in the living room.

Izzy yawned, and Maze softly ran her fingers through her cropped, red hair. "You look so beautiful", Maze muttered before leaning in to kiss her, their lips colliding with fervor. Mazikeen always knew how to steal Izzy's heart all over again, every kiss breathtaking and renewing, filling her with new enthusiasm for life which seemed worth living with Maze by her side.

With swollen lips, Izzy retreated, grinning like an idiot. "So, how did Dan take the prank?" she asked curiously, widening Mazikeen's smirk as the demon proceeded to caress Izzy's cheek.

"He didn't see it coming, it was hilarious. I pretended to die in his arms and he totally lost it", Maze giggled, and with a chuckle, Izzy took her hand in her own and peppered her knuckles with kisses.

"I don't think I'd handle that very well, either", she pointed out, only for Maze to shrug.

"Lucky for you, you never have to", she insisted before going for another kiss – but her lips didn't quite meet Izzy's, when in the corner of her eye, she spotted the red, irritated marks peeking out of Izzy's sleeve. With concern bleeding onto her face, she gently took Izzy's wrist in her hand and rolled up the sleeve, revealing the litany of small, self-inflicted cuts that covered her arm, but Izzy withdrew her arm quickly and looked away to avoid Mazikeen's burning stare. "Who did that to you?" the demon asked with a low voice, all amusement gone as she observed Izzy's embarrassed face.

"No one, I...", Izzy stammered, awkwardly rubbing her face before giving Mazikeen a half-hearted shrug. "I did it to myself", she confessed quietly, feeling exposed and vulnerable in a way that she hadn't been prepared for. She had thought about telling Maze, but she hadn't been quite there yet – and she definitely didn't want to be caught like this.

Mazikeen was painfully quiet, and it drove Izzy crazy. She couldn't read her energy, at all, couldn't tell if she was angry or disappointed or something worse. A tear escaped Izzy's eye but she was hasty to wipe it away, not wanting to embarrass herself any further. When Maze didn't say anything, Izzy decided to flee the situation – she got up from the couch, but she wasn't given the opportunity to slip away when Maze had grabbed her hand to stop her. Warily, Izzy turned to face the demon, only to find her pained, sad eyes staring back at her.

"Baby, why would you do that?" she finally spoke up, encouraging Izzy to sit back down, and reluctantly, she did. Izzy's bottom lip trembled as she tried to find the words, but nothing seemed like good enough of an explanation. However, Maze was patient and sat quietly with Izzy's hand in her own, watching the redhead process the situation.

"I don't know, I-I guess I thought I deserved it. It was just a way to put all my bad feelings somewhere", Izzy tried, and with a sad sigh, Maze reached to wipe her tears away with her thumb.

"You don't deserve that, Izzy. You've already been through so much, why would you cause yourself any more pain?" she reminded, tracing a finger across the long scar that Goddess had caused. Shrugging, Izzy looked down in defeat, but Maze tipped her jaw back up, locking eyes with her. "If you feel the need to do it again, I want you to tell me, okay? We'll resist the urge together", the demon continued, and weakly, Izzy managed an agreeing nod.

"Okay", she breathed out.

Repeating her nod, Mazikeen then let go and got up from the couch, and as she walked away, Izzy's heart broke a little. Surely, Maze saw her in a completely different light, now. She had let her down, hadn't she? Quietly weeping, Izzy sat on the edge of the couch and stared at her arm, feeling disgusted with herself for tearing her own skin apart the way she had, for falling into such a bad habit. She regretted it, but in some twisted way, she now felt like she deserved it even more.

"What are you thinking?" Mazikeen's voice dragged her out of her thoughts, and surprised that she had come back, Izzy watched as the demon approached her and knelt in front of her. In her hands were some cotton pads and a disinfectant, and Izzy's heart soared when she began systematically taking care of her. Gently, Maze dabbed the disinfectant-soaked cotton pads against the shallow cuts, and Izzy hissed in pain as she watched the brunette's focused face.

"I think you must think I'm weak", Izzy admitted, and instantly, Maze looked up with a stern look in her eyes.

"I will never think that, baby. You're the strongest person I know and I will always admire you for it. This is just... a bump in the road. Doesn't make you any less amazing", Mazikeen countered with sincere eyes. Faintly, Izzy smiled at her, and Maze mirrored the expression while returning to meticulously disinfecting her arm. She was gentler than Izzy had ever seen her, and it filled her with so much love and adoration for the woman in front of her.

Once Maze was done, she turned away for a second – and when she turned back, her flawless face was split in half, with one just as perfect as ever, and the other side scarred and jagged. At the sight of her demon face, Izzy's heart skipped a beat, but she didn't cower from it. Instead, she bravely faced Mazikeen, her hand coming to caress her torn cheek.

"You've seen my scars and you love me, regardless. So, I will love you despite yours, too", Maze whispered, pulling a genuine smile from Izzy. The Holt had never been more grateful, and she hoped Mazikeen could tell from the shine in her tearful eyes. Carefully, she leaned down to kiss her, not minding the rough feeling of her face, just wanting to show her love for the woman she adored so much.

"I love you, too."