Patrick smiled at the the large crowd of about 20,000 people as he finished singing the last lyric to Saturday. Pete laughed at Joe who had just dumped the rest of his beer over his head because of the immense heat. Patrick swung his guitar around to his back and grabbed the microphone out of its stand. "How are you guy's tonight!" He yelled and got an ear shattering scream back from the crowd. "Pete usually does the speeches, he's better with words than I am." He laughed when Joe muttered "not when it comes to texting though" into his mic, and nodded in agreement. "I am going to attempt one now, sadly not a happy one...It's depressing but let's just get it over with". Pete gave him an encouraging smile and a boost of confidence shot through his body.
"I'm pretty sure this all started when I was twelve, I was that chubby nerdy kid who was so gay for David Bowie it was unreal. I didn't have a lot of friends, maybe one of two but besides that I got bullied for being chubby. I have never been happy with my weight, through out my life I was either over weight or severally underweight. As you can see" he made a hand motion at his very thin and boney body "I am not the healthiest right now. Anorexia is something I have chosen in my path of becoming 'beautiful'," he climbed off the stage and handed his guitar to Pete then went to the gate that separated him from the crowd.

"You ARE beautiful Patrick" a male voice from the crowd shouted.

Patrick blushed and blew a kiss to the crowd "I have been told that I am beautiful but my brain has never believed it and I guess that how I developed my self hatred. I am alive and that's pretty good, I guess. After I was rushed to the hospital from malnutrition and dehydration, I wanted to kill myself when i woke up. I hoped that some how someone fucked with my life support causing my death. But the thing is, if I had died Declan would grow up without a dad and i know how shitty that is. Fall Out Boy would be over and I know that this band means the world to some of you. Fuck, Pete, Andy and Joe would have to attend my funeral. I would never get to see the day that Joe gets married to his boyfriend or when Andy finally finds a partner. I wouldn't get to see Declan, Bronx and Saint grow up.
"Pete sobbed his eyes out and Pete Wentz crying is a heart breaking thin to watch." Pete hid his smile with his hand. "Yeah, I think that's when my brain switched from forcing me to think that I was worthless to pushing the good thoughts into my brain and making me realize, people care about me. Thats the positive message, even if you think you're worthless and nobody loves you, I can assure you that somebody does and even if you still don't believe me" he rubbed his eyes (he totally wasn't crying, noooo) then continued "know that I love you!"

a/n
🌹🌹🌹
this is really cute and i was watching soul punk shows while editing