"Nah man, I'm still full from that pizza last night" was his response when Joe asked him if he wanted some pancakes, who just shrugged and said "your loss." Patrick bit his lip and tapped a steady rhythm on the table while Pete and Andy starred at him i never miss breakfast which was true, he always ate at least three meals a day and when he didn't he made up for it the next day.
You're so fat patrick, so fucking fat. No wonder Elisa divorced you fatty, she was probably sick of seeing you, I mean who wouldn't I bet even your friends are sick of seeing your fat body, so are the fans. Patrick snatched his phone and went onto Tumblr to distracted himself from that bottomless pit in his stomach, already craving food fatty, and the voice in his head. He didn't even want to end up browsing through the 'anorexia' tag but there he was, staring at those unhealthy beautiful and starved perfect bodies. Thighs not even touching eater other, ribcages that stuck out and skeletal hands, his obsession with the way their collarbones jutted out like the handles of a bike or how that one girls spine stuck out beautifully and the way her sharp hipbones made her stomach seem even thinner. He wanted needed to look like that, it was unhealthy dangerous, ugly beautiful.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, sound check was boring and he went in a short run. You are so out of shape and FAT, you didn't even reach a mile and you were out of breath! Pig. He was exited for the show, but the grumbling in his stomach was making him crave something full of grease and at least 800 calories in it, maybe one of those avocado cheese burgers Pete loves. He resisted his cravings until the concert, where he forgot about his hunger and sang his heart out.
They finished their show at ten-twenty pm and Pete was paying for at some restaurant that had a bar and was also vegan, Patrick didn't care, he just wanted to take a shower and melt into his bed. He told Andy that he was tired and wasn't up for going out to eat, Andy gave him a nod and Patrick started to walk back to the parking lot where their buses were. Half way back to the hotel his thighs were starting to itch, an itch under his skin and Patrick knew he would have to get rid of it by spilling his own blood.
Cut cut cut cut cut He shook his head and glanced at the drug store he was walking past. After sighing and rubbing his wrist harshly, he entered the store. He glanced around the store, silently thanking god it was empty, besides women at the car register and some 30 year old, grey dude cleaning up something. He gazed the shelfs for razor blades and grinned to himself when he found six pack of them and bandages the next aisle over. He sighed again when placing his items at the check out place then glanced at the woman who was standing there. (Her face was hollow, sharp cheek bones and jawline, she was wearing a baggy tank top that showed off her collarbones. Her arms were boney and her thighs weren't even touching each other. Perfect, she was perfect. Patrick needed to look like her, her body was beautiful. Just like the Tumblr girls). After paying and shoving his stuff into his pocket, Patrick quickened his step, he pulled his fedora down father over his forehead and didn't look up until he arrived at the bus.

Once he was in his bunk, he ripped open the pack of razors such beautiful blades, so sharp they will slice through your fat! The voice cooed as he pulled his sleeves up. He had never cut there before so it was fresh and untouched by blades. He pressed the sharp metal to his skin, he pressed down lightly and with a swift movement of his hand there was blood bubbling out of the fresh cut across his wrist, he winced but continued to slice horizontally, of course he made sure that the cuts didn't overlap.
One he had about fifteen blood cuts he grabbed a gauze from his suitcase and wrapped his wrist tightly not even bothering to clean of the blood or disinfecting them. Patrick changed into a pair of boxers and an old madonna shirt from 2009 that fit him nicely and was just kinda lose around his stomach, meaning he still wasn't as fat as back then. That comforted him but then that voice came back and started to convince him otherwise.
Two hours later when Andy dragged Joe and Pete back to the bus he pretended to be asleep, he could practically hear Andy frowning as Joe knocked over one of petes basses causing a loud noise to erupt from it. It took a while but Joe, Pete and Andy all fell to sleep, leaving Patrick in silence.

a/n
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this is a bit of a filler chapter, sorry.