Welcome to the prompt 3 results! Woo-hoo!

Just so we're transparent about the judging process, Saramitra and Ravendipity both selected winners together but judged separately. Saramitra took half and Ravendipity took half, and they combined their favorite picks to choose the top entries.

Everyone did a great job! And, remember, there are five weeks, so even if you didn't get into the top this time around doesn't mean you won't in the future! There are still two weeks left!

Week 4 judging has begun and will be released in the near future.

Tags have been straight up not showing up for some reason, so I will be monitoring this closely to make sure the tags are working, though please keep in mind if they don't work, it's likely a Wattpad glitch and not much I can do. I will do my best to make sure all the tags work, but if they don't, I will leave a tag in the comments.

Here are the results for the third prompt!

3rd Place

Hollow Hours by Pulchra_Aurum

Judged by: Saramitra_

Review:

To say I cried a lot throughout the story is an understatement. This story hit way close to home and that's probably why I had such a tough time writing a review, until almost the very end. We see Willoughby struggling to get her life together when Dallas comes by on a new year, claiming he's sorry and wants to get back to her life. But there's no substantial reasoning to why he's sorry—fragmented memories are one thing but abandoning someone who trusted you with such an intimate thing is another. Losing a child once itself is traumatizing. Losing twice? My heart aches for her.

You've represented the grief and loss so well, I... just don't want to spoil it for anyone reading this. This story is so heartbreaking and so... close to home, I don't think words would do any justice to how heartbreaking this is.

As for the feedback, there are very minute things like word phrases placed awkwardly or some words missed in between but that doesn't impact the overall impact of the story, and I really, really, really loved this to the core. Keep writing and keep shining, you've got the knack for writing the grim topics that really touch the heart, open the soul bare and dissect with such precision, it's wonderful. I am at a loss of words, really.

Comments from Raven: I was hooked from this piece early on, and when the countdown began, I love how it was interweaved with descriptions until finally "Lou." And then, bam, the rest of the story and its theming takes center stage, and it takes the reader on a journey they won't expect. That when mixed with the solid descriptions makes for an awesome narrative I enjoyed.

2nd Place

Commencement of the Curse by SSears90

Judged by: Ravendipity

Review:

Commencement of the Curse is a short fanfic following BTS member Park Jimin after he recklessly stumbles upon a ouija board and decides toying with a dusty creepy object is a good idea (average Jimin), and this results in him getting cursed with brittle bones, which means he receives countless injuries from small things, and if he keeps the secret of the curse, he'll be released from the curse by the end of the year.

I've read a lot of Sears' works over the course of a year. I have read probably 20+ Sears stories by now, not just for contests but in my free time as well, so when I say this, it really does carry a lot of weight: this is probably my personal favorite work by Sears. Yes, even over Dr. Serial Killer. The reason is because the plot idea is solid, mixed with strong focus on Jimin instead of forcing the BTS members in for sake of having them. Narrowing the focus to Jimin with BTS more as background characters and a support system was a good idea that made it easier to focus on the curse and what's going on.

Something else I enjoyed was Jimin himself, and no, not for the reason that he's Jimin but because it's easy to sympathize with him. He made a rough decision that honestly wasn't even anything bad (he just wanted to see an antique...), so it's not like he deserves this curse. Seeing him in pain would make anyone frown and feel bad for the poor dude, and that's amplified later when the band questions if he's doing it purposefully to get out of being in BTS, so it just makes it more complicated and makes readers feel worse for him.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into my one critique is the ending. I like to end with endings, it seems. The ending was a great place to stop the story, and it really brought it full circle (literally). I won't spoil the ending since I think people should go and read this for themselves, but just know that the ending was a satisfying conclusion (from a storytelling perspective) that wrapped up the narrative exactly as needed and foreshadowed, and the tension present throughout made the ending that much more impactful.

The only critique I have is it could be interesting to see more expansion on Jimin's mental health during this period, like maybe seeing a therapy session rather than just being exposited that he's depressed, though that's a very minor thing since I still think you all in all did a good job bringing the emotions to life. Like I said, it's a minor thing which could also be just a me thing, so it's nothing worth really dwelling on or anything.

Overall, Commencement of the Curse is a solid entry with a good premise and equally good story direction, topped with an ending that wraps the narrative in a bow. It's a short but impactful read, and I strongly recommend it.

Comments from Sara: The curse of the omen board is real... so is the chills that ran down my spine when I read your work! I always see authors clinging on to happy endings, but yours was tragic and decadently dark just in the right ways.

1st Place

Because the human mind only knows how to kill by Sxlly_Gxrl

Judged by: 

Review:

Because the human mind only knows how to kill is a stark and introspective poetry that shows and proves on different examples of how the human mind only knows how to kill, whether it be an innocent bug or a butterfly. The rage is clear through the lines, and it reflects the turmoil of the narrator in a very powerful and evocative way.

It's a commentary on the cyclical nature of violence and self-harm, questioning whether true change or redemption is possible. It ends on a note of existential reflection, asking if the reader is ready to confront and end their own cycle of "carnage."

As for feedback, I have very few pointers, so here we go

Introducing more varied language or metaphors would enhance the poem's emotional depth. This might involve using unexpected word choices or exploring different sensory details.

The repeated phrase is powerful, but using it more strategically could heighten its impact, like, placing it only at pivotal moments in the poem to underscore shifts in tone or theme.

But, regardless, your story is deliciously decadent without feeling overdone. So you did good!

Comments from Raven: This is an extremely impactful piece with powerful imagery, a deep message, and multiple layers for the reader to pick apart. It's visceral and doesn't shy away from reality, and I love all the metaphors presented throughout the work. This is one of my favorites by you, which is saying something, and I highly recommend it to others!

Judge Pick

what is a crime? by Sohinigoswami

Judged by: Ravendipity

Review:

what's the crime? is a short poem that requires you to really pick it apart to decipher its meaning, and as I read, I found a few potential meanings. Most apparently, death is a common theme in the poem, with the ending being all about it and also weaved throughout the entire thing, but there is also the commentary on justice and "crime," and what it actually is, alongside some other interesting moments questioning life itself.

The first thing I'd like to mention is this stanza:

It persists on my retina

playing like a daily TV show,

favourite of my alter ego.

But it's me who is left with the afterglow.

This is a great stanza that packs a powerful punch. Such a powerful punch that I needed to immediately copy paste it into my notes so I could remind myself to say something about it in this review. I love the "it persists on my retina" line especially. It runs off the tongue well and feels smooth like water, and it transitions into the next line about TV perfectly.

That actually leads me to my next point: the transitions between lines and stanzas are all in all pretty solid, doing a good job elevating the depth of the poem by making me feel like everything is smooth. When it comes to poetry in particular, pacing and transitions are crucial for making the reader feel like they can follow along, giving them better chances at understanding what you're trying to say, so it goes without saying that having these clear, solid transitions made for an engaging read.

The last thing I'll mention is I enjoyed the usage of sheeps throughout the poem, and also how it slowly descends more and more as the story continues. The language starts off mysterious yet powerful, and as it continues, it becomes more unhinged as it questions crime, and along with that, the end is near the closer to the... well, end, we get. When the end finally does come, it almost seems peaceful for a moment, and then, the ending line reminds us of reality, and all the memories of everything we witnessed prior to the end come rushing back, making for an impactful final moment that feels properly built to through the strong word choice and transitions.

When it comes to critiques, I don't have many aside from some small things. For one, I would recommend using em dashes since the hyphens being used as short dashes made the text feel a bit jumbled at times. I used to be guilty of this because I had no em dash key on my keyboard. I normally wouldn't point this out, but since it impacts readability, I would recommend using the longer dashes (—). For example: the head matching mine- for the bridal-red death of the year's yearly whine. And: and it will-like always- melt my little sheeps. It's a little hard to follow because of the inconsistent spacing of the dashes and also the shortness of them. Switching them out for em dashes could not only emphasize the pause and maybe make it more impactful as a result, but it can also help with flow since they'll be easier on the eyes and easier to read. I hope that makes sense!

Lastly, let's look at this stanza:

And so the guillotine falls,

kissing me under death's call.

But then the life kisses me too,

I wake up in the past as a shrew.

I really love the start of this stanza. Like I mentioned earlier, your transitions are great, though the one I'm not entirely sold on is the last line, "I wake up in the past as a shrew." It feels a little abrupt compared to the rest of the stanza. I understand what you were going for, with the two lines being death and the last two being life, though the way the last line was phrased felt a little abrupt to me and could have benefitted from a transitional phrase or rewording, but maybe that's just a me thing. Lord knows my brain can sometimes malfunction, so others might find that line absolutely perfect, so I'm not saying "Change it grrr," but I still thought I'd mention it to give my full thoughts while reading.

Overall, what's the crime? is a great poem with a lot of intrigue and powerful word choice, which is normal for Sohini's work, so I'm sure no one's surprised by that. All in all, it's a solid read that I think everyone will enjoy.

Comments from Sara: Your poetry swayed into free verse this time, and it was refreshing to see your take on the dark side of things, the human condition and the psyche. It wasn't darkness for the sake of darkness—you pulled the threads and the twists well which is commendable!

ALL REVIEWS:

Judged by: Ravendipity

Make It Right by 4everSherlocked

Review:

Make It Right is a short story following the protagonist, Yuki, after a mistake she made in her life to focus all her energy on an eventual cheater, Kuro, instead of seeing the love of Jiro right in front of her. Jiro passes away while Yuki is with Kuro, and it makes her realize how much she misses him. From there, she gets a chance to go back in time and make things right, leading to a happy ending with Yuki and Jiro together on New Years.

To begin, I like the concept of the second chance, and also how you ended up skipping over the whole future and rather jumped back to New Years right as Yuki was about to tell Jiro her feelings. It made her first & final I love you that much more impactful by you choosing to focus on the New Years events rather than the in between. So all of that is to say you have a great sense of direction for the story, where I felt satisfied by the end because you focused on the right things for the plot.

Another thing I enjoyed was Jiro, actually. This is a short story where the characters are more vessels for the theme of second chances and not wasting time, with Yuki being the main one to get much development, but I thought Jiro's limited screentime was charming and made him sympathetic. His emotional maturity in the first part of the narrative was admirable, and his sweetness throughout makes it hard to dislike him. In general, the three core characters here work for the narrative. You succeed in making us dislike Kuro for his actions and sympathize with Yuki. I honestly don't blame her for her actions since she was following what she thought was her heart and right decision, but in the end, she made things right either way and learned from her mistakes, taking accountability, which is something I enjoyed.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is I liked how you weaved the prompt throughout while also making this story feel like its own thing. As I mentioned earlier, the focus being on New Years was great, but there was also enough content there that it really felt like a little short story that you'd stumble upon at 3 a.m. while looking for something cozy to read.

Critique-wise, I have a few things, most of which minor. There are some minor typing errors, such as: ...holding tightly to the woman that seemed to be glowing brighter than the billboard signs nearby. "That" should be "who." Another example: For whatever reason she had been given a second chance and she wasn't about to waste it. There needs to be commas here. Consider: For whatever reason, she had been a second chance, and she wasn't about to waste it. Last example: ...the confetti and snow swirled down from the sky all about them. Consider: ...the confetti and snow swirled down from the sky all around them. So those are just a few minor errors that aren't big deals, but they're still worth mentioning.

The main critique I have is the exposition. I believe I've mentioned it in the past, but there tends to be unneeded expository dialogue present throughout the narrative. For example: "I'm right here though just like I promised you I would be when we got married." This is really expository since both parties already know this. Jiro is repeating what they already know. He has no reason to say it because of that fact, which is what makes it unnecessary expository dialogue. It's fine to give exposition through dialogue, but when it's exposition that both characters know (or, in this case, Jiro thinks Yuki knows it and has no reason to suspect otherwise), it comes off as forced and ingenuine because it's obvious you're only writing it for the audience's benefit, not the story's benefit. Another example that is a bit more prominent: "I just wanted to tell you before I go and before you leave to be with Kuro how I really feel about you." So all of that is to say consider tweaking some of these types of lines in future works.

Overall, Make It Right is a cute story that has hints of sadness weaved throughout, and it does a good job immersing you in the life of Yuki and really feeling for her. If you are looking for a comforting read, I highly recommend it!

The Past Lover by EnigmaEpic

Review:

The Past Lover is a short poem based on the prompt with a little twist where the nameless first-person narrator curses their past lover as soon as the clock strikes midnight, interweaved with allusions to heartbreak the narrator had to endure at the hands of this past lover.

For the second week in a row, one of my main praises for you is the ending. The last line is, "Adulterers don't get to thrive, only a slow decent to madness." This is a solid final line based on the context of the poem. It drives home the message of the poem, and every line prior to it builds toward this moment, making it feel like there's a major pay off. And, also, I'm pretty sure most people dislike cheaters, so for readers, too, it's a satisfying conclusion. We may not know much about the narrator outside of the love tragedy, but this final moment makes us feel like we're on the narrator's side, so good job with wrapping up your work! Again, haha.

Another thing I enjoyed was how the prompt was implemented in the beginning in a way that feels natural. When I was first reading this, I was like "Wait, did this follow the prompt?" I reread and was like "Ohhhh." It's implemented in a subtle way that honestly makes it feel like its own thing not created for a prompt contest, which is really important since it means you created immersion. I was immersed with the story you were telling and never felt a dull moment, with every line making me more curious to see where the poem was going. I read this multiple times and felt that engagement each time. So when it comes to engagement and creativity, you nailed that!

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is that I enjoyed how the narrator really stood their ground and got back at their "lover" for what had happened in the past. The narrator was determined and really stood on business, and while that may seem like a small thing, it made the narrative more interesting, and it made me like the narrator despite not knowing much about them. Like I mentioned before, you do a good job getting people to care without even knowing names, and I like how the narrator so simply yet so effectively rattled the adulterer. It was cool to see a strong, nameless narrator who didn't mess around.

Critique-wise, like last week, I don't have much, just minor things that aren't too crazy. One thing is there was one line that I felt was a bit out of place, which is this line right at the beginning: their cheers are insane. I say this because this is the full line: I see the snowfall as I hear the countdown's last call, their cheers are insane. The end of it feels a little like it disrupts the flow, but that could also very well just be a me thing where a lot of other people love it but it's not for me. But I still thought I'd mention it. It's only one line, so it's not a big deal, but since it's at the very beginning of the poem, it is more noticeable than it otherwise would be as that's our first impression of the work.

Another thing is there were two moments where there could be additional commas to help with flow. For example: That I would take him back but that is not my style. Consider: That I would take him back, but that is not my style. The additional comma could help with the flow just a bit. Another example: Payment for his sins are due and I am here to collect. Consider: Payment for his sins are due, and I am here to collect. Minor changes, but the additional two commas could improve readability and flow.

Overall, The Past Lover is a solid poem that does a lot in its short runtime, establishing a fractured relationship where we feel for the narrator despite not knowing them, and everything is super engaging and immersive. It's overall a great read!

A New Year To Remember by LAJoyner

Review:

A New Year To Remember is a short story about a mysterious accident and event clouding the female lead's life, and we spend the majority of the short trying to piece together what happened and how the female lead, who is not exactly doing so well physically either, is going to fix it, and all of this happens on New Year's.

To begin, I'm always pleased with how creative your story ideas are, though this one is especially creative. You took the prompt in such an awesome way that I loved, and I thought it being a bit of a mystery we're trying to piece together like a puzzle was interesting. I like the little box of memories, too, and the way there was so much comfort associated with the man, eventually revealed as Yoongi. Even without knowing his name for the majority of the story, we could feel the warmth dripping off of him, which made me engaged. There's just a whole lot to enjoy about the ideas you presented here, really.

Another thing I enjoyed was the vagueness of it. That doesn't sound like something I would normally praise, I know, but in this case, I think it works in the story's favor. We don't even find out a name for these characters until long into the story, and the "he" remains a mystery, which I think is great. It's yet another layer to peel away for the audience, and it makes the "you" second-person perspective feel more personal and impactful as a result. When I was in one of my creative writing workshops, everyone except me wrote stories in second-person for their workshop pieces, and the purpose was for them to make the reader feel out-of-body, and I see that with this piece, which is something I wanted to take a moment to appreciate.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is I like the pacing. Everything flows out at a solid pace that feels unique and fresh, and I enjoy how I felt like I was there in the moment with them. All of the plot points come at the right beats, and all the chapters feel like they end at the right times and pick up in the next chapter into an interesting conflict we need to unpack alongside the characters. So all in all, the story flows out well both from a plot and character perspective.

Critique-wise, I have two of them. The first is chapter 2 could use a smoother transition in the beginning since the first paragraph seems to be from the perspective of the narrator, and then it switches to "he" and a completely different location with no transitional sentences or words or anything to smoothly bring the readers with you to the next scene, so it was a bit confusing for me, and I had to reread it twice to fully get it, which is why I recommend transitions there to help make it a bit smoother.

The second thing might very well be a me thing, and it's ultimately not a big deal, but I don't think this needed to be a fanfic. When the Yoongi name was dropped at the end, I didn't find myself as excited as I realistically should be seeing Min Yoongi. This felt like its own contained narrative where I was okay with the male and female leads being shadows; completely unnamed with little physical appearances, rather acting as vessels for the audience to see themselves and their regrets in (which can also further intensify the use of the "you" perspective, making the reader feel more like the female lead). So I know that's a small thing and probably not a big deal to most, but I still thought I should mention it.

Overall, A New Year To Remember is right: you're going to remember it. I read this a few days back, and now, days later, I still remember the story so clearly (I like to try and sit on stories for a bit before really diving deep and reviewing), and that goes to show it's impactful with a strong theme, so I highly recommend checking this work out.

A Love Rewritten by Kaoriwritess

Review:

A Love Rewritten is a flash fiction piece sprinkled with a hint of fantasy, where there's a curse separating the two leads from being together until this moment, in 2020. Finally, they remember each other, and they can start a relationship that's been banned for them for countless years.

To begin, I want to start with the concept, since that's the most important part here. It's kind of like a time loop but with curses. I like these types of concepts where time and curses are involved, so it's safe to say this appeals to me, but even from a more general perspective, I think it'll interest most readers since it has such a cool premise mixed with the prompt. You took the prompt in an excellent direction that I really enjoyed, and I think anyone reading this review should go check out this work since it's short but impactful, and it's also super creative.

I also liked the choice to make this a flash fiction. You mentioned that it was your very first one, and I think you did an excellent job with it. The concept, like I mentioned before, was a good fit for a flash fic. It has enough intrigue to keep us reading, but it also doesn't do so much that we feel unsatisfied by the end. I definitely encourage you to write more flash fics, as this was really good, and I mean that. A lot of flash fics tend to struggle to contain the idea within a small word count, but here, you made everything feel engaging with a solid ending that stuck the landing. Great job working within this format!

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is I like the balance between the environment and plot advancement. Something that many authors struggle with is balancing descriptions with plot progression, but here, you do a good job interweaving it so it never feels like there's too much in the way of descriptions but also a good amount where we get a general sense of location. That also means the pacing was solid, and everything felt like it flowed from point A to point B fluidly. Awesome job!

Critique-wise, I have two things. One is there were a couple of awkward sentences here and there, but not many, so it's not a big deal. For example: The memories came rushing back a forbidden love and a curse that bound us to repeat this night for eternity. Consider: The memories came rushing back—a forbidden love and a curse that bound us to repeat this night for eternity. There could be some space/a cushion between the "the memories came rushing back" and the "a forbidden love..." parts of the sentence.

The second thing is also minor, but consider diversifying the fireworks description. I love fireworks, and fireworks make sense considering this is a huge celebration, but consider diversifying it since fireworks are described a few times, and it's not a big deal since it's not too much, but maybe a new description for maybe just one of the firework descriptions could be interesting. But again, that's a minor thing that didn't take away from my enjoyment of the story. I only recommend it because it's a very short flash fic, so when there's repetition, it's more noticeable, if that makes sense.

Overall, A Love Rewritten is a solid flash fiction that does an excellent job engaging the reader with a cool concept that will leave you curious to see how the narrative pans out. It wraps up with a solid conclusion and has a nice balance between plot advancement and environment descriptions, making for a well-rounded read I enjoyed.

Redux by WonViolet

Review:

Redux is a flash fiction about an unnamed narrator receiving a giant surprise on New Year's Day—a surprise no one could have seen coming, and it'll catch you off guard, but in the best way possible, and readers should definitely read this blind instead of having pre-existing knowledge of it since the whole concept is the best part of the narrative.

To begin with a small thing, I like the title. Redux is an intriguing title that I liked! I know that's really small and not something that impacts the core narrative much, but I still wanted to mention it.

Getting into the core of the review, I think it's interesting how the narrator thinks the night feels too scripted and perfect. Scripted is an interesting word to use there, and it sets the tone of unease without being on-the-nose about what's going to happen which, trust me, we'll talk about what happened in the plot real soon. I know that may seem like a small thing, and it is, but I still wanted to appreciate it since the word choice of scripted stood out to me, and it also planted seeds of doubt about the whole New Years event early on, so good job with the set up of the narrative!

Well, I can't hold back anymore, so let's talk about the plot. These lines immediately stood out to me: A voice, soft and familiar, whispered in my ear, "I really think we can do so much better, so how about we try again?" I froze, my breath hitching in my throat. The voice was unmistakable. It was mine.

Those lines immediately made me think dun dun duuuuuun, and the rest of the plot unfolds at a nice pace from there that kept me engaged throughout the rest of the narrative. I seriously can't praise the concept enough. I didn't see it coming, and I was immediately hooked not only because of the stellar introduction that I mentioned earlier, but also because the whole premise is unique and far from what I expected anyone to write, so when it comes to the concept for the story, you did an amazing job!

The last thing I'll mention before getting into the critiques is I really liked the ending. Makes sense to end this with the ending, right? I like how there's a solid resolution that wraps up the story concept concisely but meaningfully. I like the positive note it ends on despite the scary situation, and also how there's still a lot of mystery about the narrator that leaves their character open to interpretation. I don't believe the narrator even has a name, which makes who this "I" is all the more interesting. It's a fantastic ending that really made me think.

Critique-wise, only a couple things. There are some minor errors where some sentences had awkward moments, but these were few and far between, so not big deals but still worth mentioning. I.e.: "Send us back?" needs to be Sent us back. Another example: No puff of smoke, no flash of light, it just gone. I actually really like this line with the no puff of smoke and no flash of light part, so this is a very minor critique, but the "it just gone" part is a bit awkward. Maybe: "it just left" could work more naturally, though that moment could be tweaked in many ways, and I encourage you to play around with it!

The second thing is there were some cliche descriptions throughout, which isn't inherently a bad thing, though since there were quite a few of them in a short word count, they were more noticeable, especially when you repeat them. For example: The weight of what lay ahead pressed down on me, but so did a strange sense of purpose. And: I shook my head, the weight of their words sinking in. The repetition of the "the weight" descriptions was noticeable since using "the weight of *insert thing here*" is a pretty common/cliche description. Again, nothing inherently wrong with using these types of descriptions, but consider limiting them, if that makes sense.

Overall, Redux is a fantastic, engaging flash fiction with a cool twist I didn't see coming. It took the prompt in a unique direction with a plot I did not expect, and it nailed it with the ending. All in all, this is an awesome read!

The New Year I Had To Let Go by emilypoole977

Review:

The New Year I Had To Let Go is a short story following the female lead with an interesting second-person perspective as she struggles to come to terms with the loss of her lover, Joseph, to the point where she's deluding herself into thinking the loss won't happen again, but the inevitable creeps up anyway.

To begin, I like the usage of "you" here. It's like Lil as an individual is trying to separate herself from... well, herself. The only thing that matters to her is Joseph to the point where she even gives up her identity and makes the perspective "you" instead of "her." It also makes the reader more involved in the narrative in that sense, where it feels like we have to take over responsibility from Lil and need to try and guide her in the right direction, almost like we're the voice talking to Lil, even though it's later revealed Joseph is the one being the voice. So it's an interesting angle to take this narrative, and I liked it.

Another thing I like is the theme and how it's executed. The way you use the prompt to cleverly tell a tale about grief and moving on was awesome, and it's one of my favorite themes I've seen by you so far, which is saying something considering your strongest writing talent is how creative your story ideas and themes are. The way you show Lil's descent and eventual acceptance is really well done, and I found myself attached to her and wanting to see her do better, which is a sign you showed her struggles well.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is the ending. I really have a thing for ending with endings, don't I? Well, it makes sense to end on the ending, I suppose. But anywho, I really do enjoy the ending. It wraps up the theme extremely well and provides a satisfying conclusion I liked. I was happy for Lil and even her new lover, despite not knowing him much (which is a good thing; we didn't need to focus on him but rather Lil's conclusion). I was also strangely happy for Joseph. He got his peace, and he got to see the woman he loves happy, and when you really love someone, seeing them happy is enough.

Critique-wise, only a couple things. For one, I might have mentioned something similar to this in the past, though there was an overuse of "you" to start sentences. It's not a bad thing to start sentences with you, though sometimes there would be 3-5 sentences in a row or at least in close proximity to one another starting with it, so consider diversifying sentence starts a bit. Though this is a minor thing since there were other times it felt diverse and like you were experimenting a lot, so that's not a big deal.

The second thing might sound a little strange, so hear me out on this. I would recommend having more descriptions of Joseph. Since there aren't many descriptions of the other parts of the environment and stuff like that, consider having Joseph be so described that it fits in with the theme you're going for here where Lil is so focused on Joseph that she doesn't see anything else. And then, by the end, the lack of description morphs into more description when Lil learns to move on and live in peace rather than being so tied up with Joseph. It's a minor change that would really only require 2-4 more paragraphs (maybe one or two describing Joseph in maybe even excruciating detail, and one or two describing the environment/new man at the end with Lil and Big Ben), but it could be effective, especially since Lil describes Joseph as the most beautiful man she had ever seen, though there isn't much description given to him, so it could be interesting to see something like that implemented, but that's just a random idea I had while reading.

Overall, The New Year I Had To Let Go is an emotional short that will make people really feel for Lil and Joseph, and that when topped with a great ending makes it a good read!

Judged by Saramitra_:

Forever and Always by Mochi711

Review:

Behold—Esi comes with another installment for Sam and Elsa! I was hoping to see some conflict between the two and you delivered it just right.

The story begins with the two having an argument about magical abilities and how the two work differently and Sam just isn't willing to listen—classic Sam.

I like how you brought out the stakes and laid it bare in a style that was grim but suited the narrative. The way Elsa maintains her guard but is willing to make things right, makes her lovable. We don't get to see Sam's struggles, which is one thing that I would've loved to see, like how the magic is affecting him as well and stuff.

As for feedback, except Sam's struggles and the physical effect of things, I do think the stakes could've been more heightened to bring the conclusion to a more satisfying end. But, that just might be me. This was a short story, so you did manage to pack a lot in it.

Overall, this was a refreshing take of Sam and Elsa's tale where they had conflict and resolved it by reminding each other of why they were together in the first place. I am not usually a fan of romance, but theirs is a story I'll keep rooting for!

Unbound by Aravis-Brightspell

Review:

The poem captures a moment of introspection and longing set against the backdrop of a New Year's celebration. The narrator observes the vibrant fireworks and the excitement of the crowd, yet feels disconnected and cold. Amidst the revelry, the narrator reflects on a past relationship with someone referred to as "the Unbound," whose presence is deeply missed. The poem conveys a sense of yearning for this person to return and reignite the connection, with a hope that things could be different if given another chance.

Unbound is rich in visual elements, such as "multicolored sparks" and "bleached shadows," which vividly depict the fireworks and the night sky. These images contrast with the starkness of the narrator's emotional state.

The melancholic tone, the hope and renewal themes, they all are packed in such short lines and yet they pack a punch. You've a knack for weaving words in a way that's both subtle yet powerful.

I don't have any feedback—this poetry is perfect as is, and also since I struggle hard with poetry review—it can be so subjective, after all. But I enjoyed your poetry very much!

The Abraxas Crusade by AprilJester

Review:

The Abraxas Crusade follows Evie from the planet of Sanctum as she grapples with the oppressive control of the Abraxan race who use weather manipulation to subjugate planets. She and Charlie, who's now missing, have been working to overthrow the Abraxans' control.

As the new year approaches, Evie is desperate to find a way to stop the Abraxans before the planet's ruling class surrenders. In a tense moment, she attempts to input codes into a transponder to disable the Abraxan satellites.

But just as the time runs out, Charlie reappears, and together they successfully destroy the satellites, freeing Sanctum and other planets from Abraxan control.

The tension and high-stakes are effectively built as Evie races against the countdown to the new year, creating a sense of urgency that keeps the reader engaged.

The sci-fi world is very rich, immersive and descriptive, something that is really appreciated in the genre.

As for feedback—

Charlie's disappearance and reappearance, while celebratory, could be expanded on—why did he disappear and how did he reappear? A few background details, even done briefly, about the past mission and consequences could help heighten the relatability to the characters and the world.

The date change to 2020 is cool, but why does it happen? (I know, I know, the prompt said that but... why did it happen according to your narrative.) This could make the world feel more realistic and bring a round-about resolution.

Winter's Warmth by KainGodchilds

Review:

Winter's warmth is a reflective narrative about the passing of time and personal growth that's set against the backdrop of a new year's celebration. The clever use of the voice whispering about doing better is seamlessly blended into the narrative, and that's something that really stuck with me.

2020 was a year of hardship but out of it came personal growth. The voice, representing a mystical force, suggests that starting anew is a gift, but the speaker argues that true change comes from within and cannot be achieved by simply resetting time.

Ultimately, the voice agrees to return the lost years, but with a condition: the reader must embrace kindness, both towards others and themselves, in the coming year. The poem concludes with a message that real change in the world begins with individual transformation and self-kindness.

This was both a meta commentary and in-ward narrative—a style I haven't seen used in a good while.

The poem has a consistent rhyming couplet structure, which gives it a rhythmic and musical quality. This structure helps maintain a steady flow, making it engaging and easy to read.

While it doesn't strictly adhere to a specific metrical pattern, the use of rhyming couplets and varied line lengths creates a dynamic rhythm that complements the narrative's shifts in tone and emotion.

It is also rich in visual imagery, such as "lights flickered on the dark canvas of night" and "sparks of snow fluttered." These images vividly paint the scene of a New Year's celebration and the magical, almost surreal, experience of time reversing.

The use of imagery to convey emotions, like "spilled my blood and a lot of tears," evokes the speaker's struggles and growth over the years.

The language is accessible yet poetic, with a mix of conversational dialogue and reflective monologue. The use of direct speech from the "eerie voice" adds a dramatic element to the narrative.

As for the feedback—

While the visual imagery is strong, incorporating more sensory details (such as sound, touch, or smell) could deepen the reader's immersion in the scene. For example, describing the sound of the clock ticking or the coldness of the snow could add layers to the imagery.

The poem touches on profound themes of change and self-awareness. Expanding on the speaker's internal reflections or providing more context about their personal growth could add depth to the narrative. This might involve exploring specific memories or lessons learned during the lost years.

It also moves quickly from the New Year's celebration to the resolution. Slowing down the pacing in certain sections, such as the speaker's internal conflict or the negotiation with the voice, could build tension and enhance the emotional impact.

Saved Voicemail by QuinceArchFortes

Review:

Saved Voicemail takes the prompt quiet on its literal head and transforms it into a short flash fic. The narrator is anticipating the new year but when the clock strikes 12, it's 2020 again. She's struggling to accept it until she finds that one familiar voice in the crowd that makes her feel all too good again.

I really liked this short flash fic and how it evoked such deep emotions despite not being as long. It's the kind that stays with you and the cliffhanger leaves the reader eager for more.

The only minor feedback I have is, you could show a little more to the narrator's backstory and her connection and depth to dad—we don't know how she feels about him even though the grief is evident. These small things could elevate your story, but overall, I think you've already written a masterpiece that packs a punch.

~End~

Thank you for coming back for week 3, and we'll see you in week 4!

Reminder that Jimin is hot.