New Years

New York is loud. Unbearably loud. When you're used to the soothing sounds of the ocean right outside your window, car horns and the shaking subway is a tad overwhelming. As much as I am not used to it, it still means that I am here, and that fills me with enough excitement to get me out of bed and into the streets to look around some more. I tilt my head up to see over the brim of the baseball hat hiding my face. The neighborhood feels small despite being in one of the biggest cities on Earth. I'm not far from Washington Square Park and most of the buildings are either brownstones or local shops. It seems like an escape within the city.

I pull up my maps once more, ignoring the suggestion it gives me for the cafe from last night. The streets are weirdly empty and I remember why when I see that most places are closed. It's New Year's Day. I keep scrolling. A vintage camera store two blocks away is open. Luck seems to finally be going my way.

The camera store is run down. The windows are dark from the outside, showing me my own meager reflection. The door is heavy and the place somehow smells of dust. Although not welcoming, like all things in this city, I feel at home. A 35mm Olympus pen catches my eye. It's catching dust, and I wonder why no one has taken it.

"Nice choice, but sadly it's broken."

I jump and set the camera down like I was touching someone's private things. "Sorry" I say looking at the speaker.

"Don't be sorry, you can buy it if you want, but it's really no good." The woman speaking is young. Around my age I'd guess. She's slim, but her hair is deep red and curly enough to take up half her mass.

"Is there anything that's not broken?" I chuckle. She nods to my right. A Canon AE-1.

"If you only shoot in 35mm that's also a good bet, but the Olympus is so much sexier" She says sighing.

"I agree," I say, grabbing the Olympus and walking to the counter "do you know of any good repair shops around here?"

"You're looking at her. Just dont tell my boss when you come back. Dad- I mean my boss, he doesn't like it when I do stuff under the table like that."

"Hold on, how do I know I can trust you?" I'm skeptical of her so-called repair skills.

"Girl, you can't trust anyone here, but don't worry I'm not trying to scam you" she laughs "The only business I can get is by word of mouth, and why would I mess that up by scamming people?"

"Okay then" I drag out my n still not fully sure "When should I come pick it up?" I say swinging my tote bag on the counter.

She takes a quick look at the camera. Then she opens the back and looks at that. "In three days" she eyes my bag "and if you really don't trust me, just pay me then"

She rips a small piece of paper from the receipt book and jots down a number. She holds it out to me between her fingers "Give me a call if you have any questions, but don't call after ten because that's suspicious."

"Thanks" I say smiling and walking towards the door.

"Hey, I'll see ya around" she hesitates.

"Martina" I fill her in.

"Cute, I'll be seeing you then Martina. I'm Robby by the way!"

The chilled wind from yesterday has died down, and a pleasant amount of sun has come out. My stomach growls, and I know for a fact that there is no food in my empty kitchen. A small pizza shop up ahead has an open sign on. A sign from the heavens.

I open the door and the smell is unmatched. There's only one other person in the small lobby. She is ordering at the counter. I wait behind her picking at my nails. She turns around with two slices in her hand, smiling. She is pretty, and as she walks by I get a whiff of her perfume. Flowers. Only once she has left do I realize who she was. It was the girl from last night, the girl that was with him, Tae. It hurts to think his name.

"Hi! Can I help you?"

"Hi. Yes, sorry. Just one slice of pepperoni please. The boy at the counter is cute. Really cute. He has curly dark hair and extremely pretty eyelashes with dark brown eyes.

"One peperoni!" He shouts to the back, making me jump a little. "Sorry" he says sheepishly.

"Hey Jake, tell your cousin she's hot!" Yells one of the guys from the back.

"She's engaged dumbass," he answers.

"Is that why she looked so content getting two slices, and to think I had a chance, damn" he seems defeated.

Realization hits like yesterday's cold wind. Were they talking about the girl that was just here? She's engaged? They can't mean Tae right? Once again I feel sick.

"Hey, here's your slice" the boy is holding it out smiling at me.

"Thanks" I mumble and hand him a five.

"Come back soon!" He shouts at me as I push through the door. He looks almost disappointed to see me leave so fast.

The sun doesn't feel happy anymore. It kind of annoys me how good the pizza tastes in my sour mood. Thinking about it, it does make sense. Tae was never supposed to pick his own path. Be his own person. I think back to five months ago.

~

It was the end of August, and I was sweating profusely. I was sitting at the kitchen counter trying to peel an orange. Sami walked in with a stack of mail. I sprung for it praying to find what I was looking for.

"Woah! Calm down" Sami said "It's not going to run away from you." Grabbing my orange and peeling it.

"You have no idea" I mumbled.

I found it. The same thin scroll he always wrote my name in. I knew that I had hurt him with my last letter, but it had to be done. I was not prepared, however, for his response. No matter how much I may have hurt him, it was nothing compared to his mother.