i worked a lot on writing drafts whilst i was holiday, that's why i've published more lately but now that i'm back i don't think my updates will be frequent what with having to prepare for exams and university in the upcoming year so i hope you guys understand :// ly.

he's preparing his two year old's lunchbox when his phone rings. picking it up, he positions it between his shoulder and ear, his hands busy trying to make a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich shaped like a tuna itself upon jeongsan's request. "hello?"

"i want to talk about this boyfriend thing." the boy halts in his movements: it's taehyung, who'd taken his number before parting from jeongguk's beat up peugeot yesterday, thought not without hurling insults at him.

"o–oh, okay. i want to, uh, talk about it too. have rules and regulations."

"yeah? what do you have in mind?"

jeongguk, pausing in his movements, tries to remember what he'd typed out in his notes last night the second he was in his pyjamas, in his bed, trying not to have a panic attack whilst thinking about what he'd just experienced. he swallows hard.
"okay: 'one, my safety should not be endangered—'"

"endangered," taehyung quotes, "gods, you're so dramatic."

"i nearly died last night." jeongguk, giving up with his sandwich, bites into it, talking to taehyung over his mouthful, irritated.

"details. now, go on."

jeongguk, grudgingly, 'goes on'; "'if endangered i have right to protect myself—'"

"okay, but how are you going to protect yourself?" taehyung, unimpressed, interrupts.

jeongguk swallows his mouthful. "i have a pen knife." he says, biting into the sandwich once again. "im pretty nifty with a nail cutter, you know."

taehyung laughs, "my hand will be round your heart the second you, half dead, lift your pen knife."

"i have pepper spray."

taehyung considers it, "okay."

"'if i'm not able to protect myself from being injured, you're to pay for my hospital bills and medication. if i'm not able to protect myself from death, you're to pay for my son's, jeongsan's, education.'"

"sure, okay."

"oh." the boy blinks, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. "i–i didn't think you'd say yes so fast."

"i might as well put the money i've taken from my dead husbands to use."

"well, when you phrase it like that, i—"

"moving on, guk."

"guk? that's new." the boy lifts an eyebrow, biting into the sandwich, finishing it.

"well, if we're going to be boyfriends, we have to play the part."

"so, to play the part. . . tae?"

"im your senior by a thousand years, i'm your hyung, if not your great grandfather, idiot. now, my rules: if i want my hyung to think that we're truly together i want us to do a lot of things; things like taking photos and uploading it to instagram, hug, hold hands, kiss—though not on the lips, ew, i don't want to go near a mouth that's tasted deep fried mars bars."

"i only said that because i didn't want you to devour my heart." jeongguk responds without thinking.

"do you want me to kiss you?"

"n–no! i didn't mean it like that."

"so you don't want me to kiss you?"

"i–i mean if you don't want to." he mumbles.

"so, you'd be okay if we take photos, hug, hold hands, kiss?

"i–i, uh—i think we need a safeword." he blurts out.

"for affection?" taehyung retorts.

"we only met yesterday." jeongguk, picking up bread, makes another sandwich.

"if that's what makes you comfortable." taehyung shrugs.

"what do you want as a safeword? i think wee woo is good."

"what, i'll hold your hand and if you don't like it you're going to go wee-woo-wee-woo in public?"

"okay, never mind."

"how about heejoon?"

"you want our safeword to be the name of your," jeongguk frowns, "dead husband?"

"it works though. it made you stop doing whatever you were doing, right?"

"uh," jeongguk looks down at his hands and true to taehyung's words, they were halted. he goes back to making a sandwich. "i mean, yeah—"

"heejoon, it is then. one more thing, we aren't dating. i don't want you to make demands for things that i don't have for you. i'll hold your hand and do things like that, but that doesn't mean that you're entitled to question what i do. i do things for a reason, you won't understand. just try to be a realistic boyfriend until we meet my hyung, once we've met him you don't have to pretend. you'll go back to what you were doing and i'll go back to what i was doing."

jeongguk pauses, how was he supposed to be a realistic boyfriend if he put up such high walls around him? "okay."

"perfect. i don't have anything i want to add, do you?"

"no."

"then, do you have work today?"

jeongguk, placing his tuna shaped sandwich (it's a circle with a couple of lines down the midst for 'gills' and a singular sweetcorn for the eye) in jeongsan's lunchbox. "no, why?"

"do you think you can come round to my house? hyung wants to look at photos of us so we're going to have to take a couple."

"yeah, okay. i need to drop san-ah off at pre-school then i'll make my way round to yours." jeongguk murmurs, distracted with trying to place a juicebox into the too-small lunchbox.

" see you soon, sweetheart." with that, taehyung hangs up, though not without making the tips of jeongguk's ears red with the 'sweetheart'.

"you look like a young dad who'd woken up late and had to run to get his son to pre-school." taehyung blurts out when he opens the door to find the young policeman on his doorstep. the mentioned is wearing a dirtied white shirt and blue pyjamas pants, paired with (his mom's, ew, not his) birkenstocks.

taehyung, on the other hand, wears a gown of honey coloured silk, tied at the waist tight to highlight his tiny waist. there's golden dust is on his skin, glistening. he looks gorgeous.

"that's because i am a young dad who'd woken up late and had to run to get his son to pre-school." he grunts, walking in and drawing the door behind him when taehyung moves away to let him in.

taehyung sighs, walking into the living room with the honey silk swaying, jeongguk behind him—jeongguk, who's gazing, open-mouthed in wonder, at the chandeliers and the carmine red carpets (he thinks his birkenstocks are unworthy of treading on such material).

"oh gods, i've got a lot of work to do today." he hears taehyung mutter to himself. then the mentioned halts, turns on his heels, narrowing his eyes at jeongguk, looking at him thoroughly, to the extent that once two minutes goes by, the boy lifts his left hand to his head, scratching it shyly.

"um—"

"take your shirt off."

"s–sorry?"

"take it off, guk."

"i–okay. i'm taking it off." the boy tugs the worn material over his head, mumbling, "what now?" when his shirt's in his hands, wrinkled by how hard he's holding it, nervous.

his pale skin is muscled but not overly, the slight indentations on his toned stomach prominent enough   when not tensed, but when taehyung places his hand directly over his heart, they tense, turning taut under his hand. he gulps hard when taehyung thumbs over the word printed in small on his right pec.

"jeongsan," taehyung, thumb over his tattooed flesh, reads, then grins, his eyes glinting under the light, "how cute. your heartbeat just got fast."

"wha–what are you doing?" the younger boy swallows, looking down at taehyung's hand on his worried heartbeat.

"me? i'm just admiring what i've deprived myself of for a thousand years," then to himself: "gods, when was the last time i wasn't looking at the body of a forty year old man?" he takes his hand away to look at jeongguk properly, appreciatively.

"th–this—this is nothing, you should look at the guys in my local gym." the boy mumbles, embarrassed.

"you should be proud of what you've worked on so far—you look good."

"th–thanks." jeongguk once again, lifts his hand to his head, shy, with taehyung looking at the way his muscles flex with intent.

"your hair," taehyung, noticing it, frowns, reaching up for the boy's locks, tousling them gently. jeongguk's quiet whilst taehyung does so, looking down at the carpet and inhaling the magnolia of taehyung's scent. "perfect." he takes his hand away, "let's take a few photos now, big boy."

taehyung takes him to the bedroom.

though not to take any racy photos of him in lingerie and on his "boyfriend's" lap unfortunately — the temptation was present though with taehyung now properly looking at every part of the boy, including those thighs.

no, he's to take photos of him and jeongguk being domestic, so taehyung's not going to wear his newly purchased lingerie—he and jeongguk were going to wear face masks.

having researched (: looking through the #boyfriend tag on instagram and noting down what wouldn't make taehyung throw up in disgust if he had to take photos of him and jeongguk doing it) in depth last night in his bed, taehyung has an idea of what to do in order to truly look like boyfriends. domesticity; they had to look domestic. that meant having breakfast in bed, wearing matching pyjamas—things that are so disgustingly domestic.

honestly, taehyung'd rather take photos of jeongguk half-naked, lovebites on his neck.
what? he won't deny that jeongguk's nice to look at—cherry red lips, nose that wrinkles with laughter, eyes that light up, pale skin that'd be so easy to mark up and pair that with a body like his? sign me up, taehyung thinks, looking over his shoulder at the boy who's seated on his bed, looking around, dazed.

his personality's a problem though, taehyung thinks, picking a mask out of the many he has. he's so shy. it's a quality that taehyung doesn't look for in a partner, though looking at jeongguk now, he wonders how cute it'll be to look at him if he wore lingerie in front of him, who'd, with no doubt, look down at his fumbling hands, flustered.

taehyung halts his thought track—he doesn't want to mess things up by fucking him. it's tempting but humans, he's noticed, look for love in things that, to him perhaps, don't mean much—sex, for example—and they look for it so desperately, it's pitiful. he doesn't want to look at that desperation, that pity.
probably because it reminds him that he was once like that.

jeongguk, on the other hand, looks at the bedroom he's in.
yesterday, heejoon's murder had the bedsheets wrinkled and thrown to the persian rug below; the persian rug that was speckled, stained with blood, and broken glass. today, the bedsheets are on the bed, not wrinkled, and the persian rug looks new, tidied thoroughly, or perhaps taehyung had ordered another rug—he had the money to do so.

he's taken away from his thoughts when taehyung walks to the bathroom, indicating for him to do so. "uh, what are you doing?" he mumbles, glancing at the tube of face mask.

"i want our photos to be domestic and what's more domestic than having face masks on?" taehyung murmurs, walking into the bathroom, to the mirror and pushing a medium sized blob of grey out of the tube and on to the back of his hand. the younger watches on, following him when he hands him the tube—using his fingertips to spread out the grey.

"oh, i need to brief you on what i told my hyung."

"hm?" jeongguk's distracted with placing the mask on his face with his fingertips: it's proving hard to do so what with the way it's sorta hurts. though when he looks over at taehyung the boy's now got his mask on, not bothered by the burning, so jeongguk goes through the pain, reciting the lyrics to beyoncé's 'pretty hurts' in his head.

"i told him that i was in a coffee shop and that it was packed and there wasn't any seats but at my table so you sat down, saying sorry. we didn't talk at first but we slowly did. it was nice. we hit it off. you took my number. we went on a couple of dates. you asked me to be your boyfriend and i said yes. i left the details vague so don't worry about them, make them up if you want."
taehyung looks over at the younger, who uses his hand to push his hair back, revealing his eyebrows. taehyung's irritated that that jeongguk has so much going on for him, his body, his eyebrows. it sorta makes taehyung want to look and discover other things about jeongguk (wink wonk).

the boy, unaware of taehyung's thoughts, blinks, perplexed. "it was packed. sat down with you. talked. it was nice. went on dates. boyfriend, okay." he repeats to himself.

"mm. for when we break up, i'll tell him that i didn't want to be with you because you're boring."

"uh, won't he question you for a more," jeongguk looks for the right word, "proper reason?"

"i've broken up with boyfriends before because i got bored. it's routine. he won't question it."

"oh, okay."

"oh, you might want to note this down, i've booked our train tickets for saturday, so start packing. we're going for five days—"

"wait, what?"

"—though it probably'll feel like years 'cause there's nothing to do in that gods-forsaken town."

"but i haven't talked to my senior about having a few days—"

"i did."

"you did what?"

"i talked to your senior. he said he's okay with it.."

"what? what did you say to him?"

"that you have to go immediately to your dying grandma."

"what?"

"it worked, you got a week away from work. let's just hope i haven't cursed your grandma. now," taehyung looks over his shoulder at him, "put your hand on my back—lower back." jeongguk does so, frowning to himself; maybe he should phone his grandma, just to make sure she's okay.
"that's it, and," taehyung leans his head on the younger's shoulder, "look down at me and look 'loved up'—no, jeongguk, that's not 'loved up,' you look like you're in pain."

"it's hard to look 'loved up' if i'm not loved up." the boy frowns.

"think of something that you love then, your dog, if you have a dog, or your son, i don't know."

taehyung gives jeongguk a moment to think of that something and when jeongguk looks down at taehyung, he takes a photo—or rather many photos, hoping that one would present the younger boy as 'loved up'. he lifts his head from jeongguk's shoulder and looks through the photos with criticism.

the photos are of taehyung, who looks like he's amused, leaning his head on the boy's shoulder. he's holding his phone, in both hands, towards the mirror to get jeongguk into the photo. the mentioned, who's got his hand on the small of taehyung's back, looks down at taehyung 'lovingly'; his brown eyes half lidded and the corner of his mouth turned upwards.

the siren, looks through the photos, pleased; thinking they look instagram worthy, though not as positioned and perfected as most photos on instagram what with the way taehyung's taken the photo, blurred, what with the way jeongguk's hair is tousled—little things like that make them look domestic; they look like they're prepared to go to bed, washed up, and wanting to end the night with face masks.

"what did you think of?" taehyung hums, editing a photo's lighting with precision. jeongguk takes his hand from taehyung's back, using that hand to prod at his mask contemplatively. "what are you doing?" he frowns at jeongguk who's wincing in pain, picking at parts of the face mask.

"is it supposed to sting? it hurts."

"no—hold on," taehyung places his phone down hurriedly, "you need to take it off."

four minutes later, jeongguk's seated on the toilet, (with the lid shut), holding a damp flannel on his red and inflamed flesh, wincing.
taehyung, leaning against the bathroom's door, looks nonchalantly gorgeous, glowing, munching away at a banana.

jeongguk and his newly discovered sensitive skin wishes they'd relate to him.

"so, what did you think of?" taehyung questions.

"huh?" 

"i told you to think of something you loved." he munches on his banana, "you looked pretty 'loved up.'"

"lamb skewers." that 'loved up' look is back, his eyes twinkling.

"what?"

"i thought of lamb—what?" the boy says defensively when taehyung rolls his eyes in disbelief.

taehyung looks at their reflections in the mirror with narrowed eyes. they've made use of taehyung's walk in closet, now matching; he's in a white long sleeved top tucked into powder blue culottes, paired with white trainers. jeongguk's in his white shirt that's tucked into torn blue jeans that hug his thighs—his thighs more toned than taehyung's—with his black birkenstocks. the siren's styled them with the idea of them going out, using his leather backpack as a prop to highlight this idea.

they look so domestic taehyung wants to throw up.

"i want these photos to be taken like they're selcas."

they take many photos and like selcas they look. the photos are of jeongguk holding him from behind, his head placed on taehyung's shoulder, smiling. there's variations in the photos though, in a couple of them taehyung's head's turned to look at jeongguk, there's a few of them making hearts with their fingers, hands—you know, the usual. 
looking at the photos, they look so much like they're truly dating, together and happy.

they're in the kitchen.
"look like you're making something for me to eat." taehyung hums, using one hand to prop up his head and using the other hand to position his phone at jeongguk—the younger now in taehyung's oversized grey sweatshirt.

"where the hell do i get a human heart from?" the younger mumbles to himself, looking through the cupboards.

"i have normal things like you do when i'm not having hearts. they tend to fuck with your digestive system so i try to have them once every few months."

"you want cereal?" jeongguk holds up cocoa pops, having noticed a box of it—the first thing he looks at.

"that's so not romantic," taehyung murmurs, looking at the boy through his phone, trying to focus on him, "is that what you make for your wife on valentine's day?"

"my wife? i'm not married." jeongguk opens nearby drawers to find a bowl, taking it out and placing it on the countertop. "if you're talking about san-ah's mom, we're not together." he murmurs, tearing the box open and pouring cocoa pops into the bowl. taehyung photographs him doing so, quietly.

"oh." immediately, taehyung wonders about jeongguk and the mother of his baby, but he doesn't question him, noticing the way jeongguk now has his back on him, pouring milk, though it looks more like he's physically blocking out taehyung. "well, note down that your partner won't like the idea of cocoa pops for breakfast on valentine's day."

the policeman turns round then, placing the bowl down in front of taehyung, chuckling, "thank god it's not valentine's day then."

startled, the siren stares at him.
"i—when did you get so flirty?"

"well, if we're going to be boyfriends, we have to play the part." jeongguk quotes taehyung with a grin.

they take many photos—many photos of them holding hands, laughing, and looking through the photos, they look so natural. it's hard to think they're not natural, that for the photo of their hands being held they'd used taehyung's jackets (denim for jeongguk and leather for taehyung) shouldering the jackets but not wearing them, holding their hands for taehyung to take a photo and once it was taken, they both took their hands away.

they're now seated on the sofa, taehyung, on the far left of the sofa, is editing the photos, eyes narrowed, looking at the details of every photo, and wearing his gown again. jeongguk, on the far right of the sofa, wearing his pyjamas pants again, has his head propped up by his hand, trying not to sleep.

"one more photo." taehyung demands, "you won't have to do much. you just have to look like you're sleeping on my lap." he places a pillow on his lap and pats it. 

the younger groans but rests his head on taehyung's lap without a word. he looks upwards at the siren with half-lidded eyes, tired, whilst taehyung positions him; his head tilted towards the left, mouth parted and dark hair tousled. the result is of him looking peaceful, quiet—perhaps the most domestic the boy's looked today.

taehyung takes a couple of photos. "okay, that's it."

jeongguk doesn't get up.

"guk?" he questions, confused. he prods, taps the boy's forehead but he doesn't get up. "what the—?" taehyung murmurs to himself, placing his hand in the younger's locks and gently pushing them away from his forehead to look at eyes lidded. "oh."

it's not long before he's twirling his locks round his fingertips, laughing when he takes the boy's locks in his hands, making pigtails. he takes many photos, and looking through them he taps the favourite icon, favouriting them. the younger? he naps through this humiliation.

jeongguk wakes up to baby shark ddu du ddu du, the usual for a dad—that or twinkle twinkle little star, or the wheels on the bus, or baa baa black sheep—and if he's not lucky: johnny johnny. yawning, he opens his tired eyes, looking up blearily.

taehyung looks down at him, eyebrows raised.
"morning, guk."

'guk' sits upright straightaway. "i—" the words are lodged in his throat—what does he even say in this situation? 'i'm sorry, i hope you don't mind the drool on your jeans?' he thinks, looking down at the drool on taehyung's jeans with widened eyes. "um, h–how long have i slept for?"

"not long, half an hour perhaps?"

"oh," the boy murmurs, then noticing that baby shark is playing: "is that my phone?"

"well, i wouldn't have such an ugly thing playing on my phone." taehyung responds with.

"r–right, um," jeongguk looks through his pockets, looking for his phone and turning it off, murmuring "i, uh, have to go" more to himself than to taehyung.

"to your baby shark?" taehyung asks, amused.

"yeah, my baby sh—jeongsan, i mean. i have to pick him up," the younger mumbles, moving to get up from the couch, "thanks for uh, not pushing me off your lap."

"it was tempting."

"oh, um. . ."

taehyung looks on at the boy who desperately tries to think of something to say. "i'll talk to you soon, guk." he helps him out.

"yeah," the young dad nods, breathing out, "i'll talk to you soon." taehyung nods. then the younger walks towards the hallway, towards the door and the siren's left to himself without the presence of jeongguk on his lap, snoring, without baby shark playing. he has to say: it's lonely. the boy isn't so irritating when he isn't whining about dying, taehyung thinks to himself, picking at the loose threads of his jeans distractedly.

then, a notification.

boyfriend 🥩😋
you up for naengmyeon? i
want to pay for what i did to
your mew mew last night

me
first of all, miu miu
me
& naengmyeon? really?

boyfriend 🥩😋
if it's miu miu then why do you
pronounce it as mew mew?
boyfriend 🥩😋
it should be mee–ooh mee–ooh

me
for the thousandth time today
i wonder why i told my hyung
that you're my boyfriend of all
the men in the world.
me
ok but how many bowls of
naengmyeon do you think you'll
need to buy to pay for my miu miu?

boyfriend 🥩😋
let's start with one bowl??

taehyung types out a reply, not noticing the fact that he's amused than annoyed.

me
hmm we could take more
photos for my hyung
me
ok