jeongguk, swallowing hard, looks over his shoulder at taehyung who looks back at him, eyelids heavy whilst gulping down heejoon's blood, the red looking violent on his lips. he looks away. "i think i'm going to throw up," is mumbled under his breath.

"please don't. that's disgusting." taehyung murmurs over his glass—his husband's blood, red enough to be mistaken for a wine red, within it, and paired with golden skin and lipsticked grins, taehyung looks like he belongs on a four poster bed, a tray of breakfast on his lap, laden with apricots, walnuts and warm honeyed milk, and lovestruck men wanting him to look their way, waiting by the bed patiently with proposals in their hands.
or maybe he belongs on instagram with posts of him in givenchy, holding a pomeranian with an italian leather collar in one hand and in the other hand a dry martini. the post likely to have the words "you peasants wish you were me," underneath it.

wherever he belongs, jeongguk is sure of one thing; he does not belong in a playground with jeongguk and the rest of the young and tired parents that wear pyjama pants with their hair tied back with elastic bands, talking and holding up bags of food to make tonight's dinner with whilst waiting for the nursery to open.

jeongguk finds himself desperately wanting the doors to open already, not liking the way the rest of the parents whisper to each other, glancing at him and taehyung—taehyung who's sat on the hood of his peugeot, his leg placed over his other leg and looking back at the parents, winking at the dads.

looking over his shoulder, jeongguk whispers—not wanting the parents to look at him with more reason, "that's disgusting," and points at heejoon's blood.

"i've seen humans eat things like deep fried mars bars. that's disgusting."

jeongguk look at him with furrowed eyebrows.
"you think a deep fried mars bar is more disgusting than a dead body?"

"yeah." taehyung says, swallowing heejoon's remnants. jeongguk looks at him in disbelief, looking away with furrowed brows when taehyung raises an eyebrow in question.

"what are you going to do about your husband? you just left him in your bedroom."

"i don't have any need for him," taehyung shrugs, "i'll dump his body—before you ask, no, i'm not going to tell you where; that's for you policemen to work out."

"then what? you'll look for your new husband?"

taehyung laughs and it's like honey; warm and rich, "yeah," he hums, looking at the policeman, "though maybe i won't have to look far." his words, though playful, have dangerous intent in them and it's made prominent by the flecks of gold in his eyes, glinting in the light. "i haven't had boy in years. i wonder what you'll taste of? deep fried mars bars and deodorant perhaps?"

taehyung grins when jeongguk, eyes widened, takes a step away from him.

"i–i eat a lot of deep fried mars bars a–and i use a lot of deodorant. i–i won't taste good, honestly."

taehyung leans against the peugeot, "oh, honey, you're so easy to play with. im not interested in deep fried mars bars, deodorant or dads."

the boy's thankful for deep fried mars bars, deodorant and being a dad.

"you're poor too." taehyung murmurs, looking at his nails.

jeongguk tries not to look offended.
"i–i make enough. it might not be thousands upon thousands but—"

"do you want me to eat you?"

"no–no, never mind; i'm poor, you're right." the boy gulps, looking away and towards the nursery which has opened, to jeongguk's relief. immediately he looks for jeongsan, who's holding the hand of of one of his teachers.

"is that your baby?" taehyung questions, glancing at jeongguk.

"yeah," jeongguk lifts his hand, waving at the boy, "how did you know?" he looks at taehyung, suprised.

the teacher, noticing jeongguk, points him out for jeongsan and the young dad laughs when his baby lifts his hand, waving at him wildly with his build-a-bear in his hand. he lets go of the hand he holds and pads towards him hurriedly.

"he's wearing a long sleeved shirt with 'my dad's a policeman' on it." taehyung drawls.

"wait, what? oh god, it's a present from my mom; she said that it's to protect him." he groans, "i must have put it on without realising this morning."

"daddy!"

"hey, baby. what did you do today, hm?" jeongguk lifts and holds jeongsan.

"paint!"

"you painted?"

his baby doesn't reply. jeongsan, looking at taehyung over jeongguk's shoulder, doesn't want to let go, not understanding who taehyung was or why he was leaning against his dad's peugeot. when he's put down on the ground, he immediately grasps at jeongguk's hand, whining.
"hold on, baby. let me get your seat."

taehyung, noticing jeongsan, tilts his head in question. "you're jeongsan?" he grins when jeongsan looks at his dad, then looks at him again and nods his head, timid. "you look just like daddy."

he looks like jeongguk, just softened—his eyes, big and brown, blink at taehyung, and his dark locks stick up in tufts, having just had jeongguk run his fingers through. there's blue paint on his forehead.

the baby boy grasps onto jeongguk's jacket tightly, looking at taehyung cautiously, "my daddy."

taehyung lifts an eyebrow, "honey, if your daddy and i were in a relationship, i'd be the daddy."

jeongsan looks at jeongguk, confused—jeongguk who hadn't been listening, finding it hard to open the doors to the backseat what with jeongsan not wanting to let go, looks up, looking just as confused.
ignoring them, taehyung hunkers down and points at the bear in jeongsan's hand. "is that your bear?" he asks, "it's lovely." jeongsan nods his head. "what's its name?"

"bear." he whispers.

"bear? that's really. . . inventive."

jeongsan looks at jeongguk, not understanding taehyung. "he thinks it's cute, baby." he explains. jeongsan, now understanding, nods his head at taehyung again.

whilst taehyung tries to talk to jeongsan, the young dad opens the door to the backseats, adjusting the car seat: it was frustrating to do it everyday; placing the seat in the boot every night for patrols and taking it out again midday.
though it didn't frustrate him as much as having to listen to his officers (yugyeom, i'm looking at you) laugh about being his baby when doing rounds or trying to sit in it (mingyu i'm looking at you). yes, these are the very people who are supposed to protect seoul from harm.

"wha' eating?" jeongguk hears jeongsan ask.

"what am i drinking, you mean? i'm drinking blood."

"it's ribena, san-ah." jeongguk sighs, looking at taehyung like he wants to say wtf.

"it's not the ribena you want." taehyung nods. when jeongsan pouts at that, taehyung hums: "you're so cute. i want to eat you up."

"please don't." jeongguk murmurs, looking at taehyung warily.

taehyung rolls his eyes, "i have morals."

"you marry guys, eat them and take their money. what morals do you have?"

"i don't eat babies." then to jeongsan: "only lil' bears! nomnom nom." he outstretches a hand towards the bear but jeongsan tugs at his dad's jacket in panic, hurriedly backing away.

"no! don' eat bear!"

"baby, he's not going t—"

"taehyung?" jeongguk looks up and behind him, at the person who's looking at taehyung with furrowed eyebrows.

"yoongi hyung?" jeongguk looks towards taehyung, who's looking at the person in disbelief, eyes widened.

noting that taehyung was distracted, jeongguk moves, placing his baby onto his seat. "hey, hey. it's okay, baby." he murmurs, wiping his tears away and kissing his head (and bear's upon when the boy lifts him to jeongguk), "i won't let him hurt you or bear." his baby, looking past him, at taehyung, nods his head.
"okay, let's take you to grandma's." pushing the door, he walks hastily towards the door to his own seat, opening it whilst listening to this 'yoongi hyung' and taehyung.

the boy walks to taehyung, hands outstretched towards him. looking disgusted at the prospect, taehyung turns to walk away but yoongi hauls him into a hug. "i've missed you." he whispers, "i've missed you so much."

"oh, this is. . . this is lovely. um, much lovely than you whacking my—" whack. taehyung grits his teeth. "there it is. i was starting to doubt that you were my yoongi hyung."

"you dumb," thwack, "bitch. i was so worried about you. what were you thinking, you dumb—" he hits him over the head again with what jeongguk thinks is a bouquet of lavender??

"bitch? yeah, yeah, i've heard it all." taehyung groans. thwack, is yoongi's reply.

"what happened to you? you got tired of murdering your husbands, now you want to murder husbands that aren't yours?" jeongguk doesn't interrupt to say that he hasn't yet married. "what next?"

taehyung looks up, eyes on jeongsan.
"how about bears? nom nom." he grins when the boy throws a tantrum; his legs flailing and hands holding onto his bear tight, yelling "nO!"

"you're so irritating. it makes me want to shove these roses down your throat." yoongi grunts.

"oh, i love it when the dom in you jumps out."

"the fuck is wrong with you," is what jeongguk hears last whilst driving away.

jeongguk lifts a hand to his head, grasping at the dark locks; what the hell happened today?
he thinks that today, out of his years of living, has got to be worst. he'd found a dead body without his heart, taken the perpetrator to daycare, left him, and if that wasn't bad enough, work was long and hard with his mom phoning him every hour, worried about jeongsan who didn't want to nap without him.

mumbling a 'goodnight' to yugyeom who's taking over his shift, he walks past him and towards the parking lot, looking for his peugeot. it's not hard what with taehyung leaning against it, looking dangerous in the moonlight. the policeman halts in his movements.

"i want to talk to you."

"i don't want to." taehyung lifts an eyebrow. " i mean, what do you want to talk about?"

"you, my hyung and i."

"your yoongi hyung?" taehyung nods.

"my hyung thought that i was going to hurt you, leaving a baby without a dad, blah blah. i told him i wouldn't hurt you; you're a dad, you use a lot of deodorant, you eat deep fried mars bars—oh, i'm dating you too."

"what?"

"it was the first thing i thought of, okay! you're not exactly want i want in a boyfriend." taehyung winces, looking jeongguk up.

"sorry that i'm not rich, fat and bald."

"hey, you don't have to do heejoon like that. he died today."

"you're the one who murdered him!!"

"details. now, i desperately need you to be my boyfriend—"

"no, thank you. i like having a heart."

"i want you to be my boyfriend, not my lunch. i told you: i don't want to eat you. what i do want to do is to take you to meet my hyung in ilsan; you know, like in crazy rich asians? only my hyung isn't rich; he's middle class and very irritating. he's messaging me back and forth about you, you know. he really wants to meet you."

jeongguk groans.

"look, it's only for a few days. once we're back in seoul, i'll 'break up' with you."

"just like that?"

"it's that easy."

"what do i get out of this, though?"

"you get to hold my hand and tell me that i'm pretty?"

". . ."

"fine, i'll pay you. how much?" taehyung, noticing that jeongguk looks hesitant, sighs, "how much, sweetheart?"

"do you. . . do you think you could pay for a premium magic pass to lotte world for jeongsan and i?"

"that's. . . it?"

"yeah."

"if that's what you want, then okay." taehyung says, amused, "i'll see you tomorrow."

"tomorrow?"

"to talk about details."

"right, okay," jeongguk lets out a breath, "tomorrow."

"tomorrow."

". . ."

"um," taehyung looks at jeongguk's peugeot, "your first task as my boyfriend! take me to heejoon's. i, uh, left my wallet at his so i can't pay for my taxi."

what have i signed up to? jeongguk thinks, unlocking the doors for taehyung.