Wedding Bells

Chapter 30

"Are you sure you are willing to take her?" I question once more, feeling like an annoying child as I hand my very own child to my mother. Waiting for her response even though I knew what it was going to be. Of course she would say yes, there was no reason for her not to. Aurora was perfect, she never cried, she slept on her schedule perfectly, she ate when she needed to, and she hardly ever fussed.

That's what they always say though, your first child is always the best child, and that's how they trick you into having another one.

"Aurora is always welcome here with me," My mother beams as she scuttles her hands towards my daughter, snatching her away as quickly as she can. My heart was filled with so much warmth and sadness, this was the first time since I had Aurora that we were leaving her with someone.

Even though it was my mother and I trusted her with my life, it was still hard. I carried this child for 9 months, hosting her daily until she was strong enough to come out on her own. My body fed her and continues to feed her every single day. Do these feelings ever go away?

"Come on Erin it's probably best that we get going, we don't want to be late for our reservations." Carter placed his hand on the small of my back, trying to tug me with him with the other. My eye stayed on Aurora. Making sure she was okay without me. "She will be fine," Carter whispers in my ear.

Shaking my head, I turn to walk away finally feeling the pain of leaving her. It crashed over my like a waterfall falling from miles up above, hitting my skin like needles. The pain was all over, my world sucked up in this emotional goodbye.

I would be back for her though, and that was what I had to keep reminding myself. I wasn't going to be gone long, just a couple hours. She would possibly sleep the entire time we were away. But she was so damn cute I just couldn't handle it.

Another tug from my husband led me down the hallway and towards the elevator.

"Have fun guys," My mother waves, closing to door behind her as if it separated us so I couldn't get my child back. I'd break down a million doors for that little girl.

"Hey, it's okay Erin, please breathe," Carter must have seen the tears forming in my eyes. This upset me even further because I really didn't want to ruin my makeup. I stare up towards the ceiling of the elevator, hoping to hold back the rivers threatening to run.

Luckily this time I was able to.

The elevator stopped when we got to the parking garage. Carter led me to our car and opened the passenger side for me. I smiled the best I could and thanked him before hopping in. He walks around the car to the driver side and hops in starting it almost immediately.

"Where are we going for dinner?" I question, turning to watch as he backs out. My eyes settle on the car seat, laying there as empty as it could be. My heart breaks just a little further and a single tear finally escapes. I whip around to stare out the front window but it was too late. The tears were rolling now.

Biting my lower lip I did whatever I could to focus on anything other than my baby. That was damn near impossible when she had been my every living breathing second for the last month or so.

"Erin, it will be fine, please don't cry you are making me feel horrible," I wasn't sure that was the best thing Carter could say either, as now I was filled with the guilt of ruining date night by making my date feel just as horrible as I did. Maybe we needed to just go home and not go anywhere.

I glanced down at the dress that hasn't fit quite right since I has Aurora, but was probably the best fitting in my closet. I dressed up tonight, I did my hair, I did my makeup. I needed to go out. It's been too long and if we don't go out tonight it'll be months before we go out again. Carter had taken the day off work so that he could spend it all with me.

It was our first year anniversary after all. I shook my head wiping away the tears for the last time. I wouldn't allow myself to cry anymore.

Looking in the mirror I checked my makeup. It was slightly smudged on the edges but still looked fine.

"I'm sorry Carter, let's go enjoy our night. Where are you taking me?" My voice hiccuped slightly causing the sentence to come out kind of wonky but Carter smiled anyways. Turning out onto the main road he started driving towards the bridal shop.

My heart was racing in my chest with excitement to see where we were going. His sly little looks ever so often leaving me guessing for where this place could be. But it seemed like he just simply wasn't going to tell me. At least not before we got there.

I watched the roads carefully calculating all the places that I knew Carter liked. But watching most of the zoom away, in the late night New York Traffic. People walked the streets, dressed to party, dressed to dance the night away. I thought back to the times when that would be Clara and I. It wasn't very often but everyday we would dress to impress and on the random night we did go out, it would work.

But none of that was serious, and these girls walking tonight would realize that soon as well.

Carter turned down the road to another parking garage. One that was really close to the bridal shop. Was he really taking me there for dinner? Had he decorated the table in there to look like a five star restaurant? When did he have time to do that? He was with Aurora and I all day. There was no way he left to do something like that. But the closer we got the more it started to sink in that somehow he must have done that.

He pulled into the parking garage, finding a spot as soon as he could before he hopped out and paid the meter. I tried to watch carefully to see how many hours he would purchase, but I missed the number as it flashed up on the screen.

He makes his way to the passenger side of the car, opening my door for me once again before leading me down the street. A smile was brewing on my face, a little bit of the stress finally washing away. It was good to be here with just my husband, the two of us deserving a night out like this.

Especially after both of our failed honeymoon attempts.

We walk down the sidewalk, each step dragging us closer to the bridal shop. My arms was wrapped up in Carter's as he coaxed me along the way. Suddenly taking a turn I hadn't been expecting nearly causing me to topple in the large heels I was wearing.

"What?" I stuttered before I could even figure out what was going on. Carter led me down a stairwell towards the basement of a building. That's when I knew where we were going.

He burst through the door at the bottom of the steps into the warm air of that cool jazz blues bar. My heart sinking in my chest with emotions. I loved this place so much. I hadn't been here since I met back up with Carter.

We used to sneak here after school before they shut the restaurant portion down. The bar would be setting up and Carter and I would watch as the servers organized all of the alcohol before their shift. Arguing with the morning staff that they just didn't do it the right way.

Carter led us to a table, a booth actually that sat on the side of the room where you had the best views of the performers. This was my favorite part about this place. The food was good, but the music was almost always better without a doubt.

"Oh sweetheart, this is amazing! You really got reservations for this place?" I question, realizing there were a few empty tables. He shook his head, which left me a little confused.

"No, I just wanted to sound fancy and give you an excuse to leave your mother's house so you didn't feel so bad for leaving sweet baby Aurora there with here," Carter smiled, his eyes dancing over the menu, searching for something delicious to eat.

I fiddle my thumbs also searching my menu. I wasn't sure what to get as we hadn't been on a date in so long.

After a few minutes, I decided to settle on the chicken parmesan. Something I wasn't normally able to eat due to trying to lose the baby weight. I needed to spoil myself tonight.

Carter reached his hand across the table, holding mine carefully. His fingers rubbing over my knuckles. I felt butterflies in my chest at the simpleness of touch, enjoying every second I could get my hands on it.

"What are you getting?" I finally asked after a silence that felt like it lasted forever. Carter shrugged flipping the page in his menu.

"Probably just a burger, I'm not really sure what I'm in the mood for tonight," He paused for a moment before a devilish look flashes crossed his face. "Other than you of course,"

I felt the blush rush to my face as the words escape his lips. Had he really said that?

I felt myself feeling like a schoolgirl once again, worrying about the meaning of all of his words. What was his intentions with that sentence? Was he trying to flirt with me? All of the things I'd figure out over the years, I had forgotten tonight.

"You are adorable," Carter whispers, leaning across the table so only I could hear his soft words. I smiled, finding it a smile of pure happiness. One that stretched across my face out of control. How could he do this to me?"

"Thank you," I whispered back. The waitress interrupting our moment as she took our drink orders and our food orders before running away once again. Carter took a drink of his water glass that she had dropped of when asking for our other drink orders. I did the same eating a piece of ice.

"Well, are you ready to have another baby?" Carter questions, chuckling as he throws his head back for a moment. My heart dropped, my body shaking at the thought of going through pregnancy and labor again.

"You know the doctor said I probably shouldn't have another kid right?" I question, searching Carter's face for how he felt about that. We hadn't had a moment to sit down and talk about it, but the labor process was so hard for me that it was recommended that I didn't do it again. I didn't want to let Carter down though if he was determined to have more kids, or thought that was something important in his life.

"Whoa, I was just joking. We don't have to get serious about this right now sweetheart," He reached across the table taking my hand in his.

"Are you sure, I mean this is probably the best time to talk about it," I teased, looking around the room. It was filled with adults enjoying their time together. Adults that--like Carter and I had found babysitters for their kids. Living a life completely different from the one I lived. Each enjoying their own little things.

Some worked jobs they hate, some work jobs they love but live with people they hate. Some were struggling with school while others were possibly excelling beyond what they ever thought possible.

Kids that were trying to act like adults, living in the real world. Older than I was when I was pushed into it myself. Owning the bridal shop was the best thing I'd ever done, and the greatest thing to come out of the worst thing in my entire life.

When my father died, so many things changed. Everything was different and everything felt so wrong. I couldn't function anymore and I dove into the shop to distract myself from all of the pain. Everything that hurt me, or made me cry, I bottled it up and put it into the dresses, into the bills. I avoided it while traveling, being very cautious to ignore those thoughts.

The thought drifting through my head lulled me away into another world. But I was quickly brought back by the music that slowly started to play. An entertainer was now on the stage dressed in fancy clothes, setting up for the show.

A little bit of excitement building up inside me. Carter used to bring me here all the time in highschool for the shows, and when we were first dating. This was our spot.

"Are you happy with how things are going?" I ask, searching Carter's face for any sign of unhappiness. Maybe he wasn't content with how our lives had turned out so quickly. A little over a year ago we were world travelers. Spending time in Paris and other countries that he had never seen before. But not we were trapped by the ties of parenthood. Future exploring held off by the needs of our family. Our sweet daughter. Who one day would walk, and run and fall, and we would have to pick her back up each and every time.

"I really am, we've been through some hard times in this last year and I'm really happy we were able to make it through. I feel like we can make it through anything after all of that," Carter tugged at my hand, pulling it up towards his lips before kissing it gently.

"Therapy probably helped a lot with that, I feel like we went through a really strange patch where neither of us actually knew what was going on," I shrugged the best I could, trying to push the conversation forward without sitting too much in the negativity.

"It definitely helped me learn how to understand you more," Carter smiles, taking a bite of his food. The juices from the burger leaked back onto his plate. I watched him carefully, taking in every little detail of his face that I fell so madly in love with. He was the perfect man for me.

"We may have struggled, but we have gone through so much and only love can conquer life's big changes," I smiled turning back to my plate of food.