Wedding Bells

Chapter 18

*Carter's POV*

I drove the car home carefully. I knew I was going to drop Erin off before heading out. I just needed to get a drink to process things. I had texted David and asked him to meet me at a place. Erin wasn't too happy with the plan but she understood. She knew I'd need to process this, and it must have confused her.

I felt horrible. I'd acted so excited for this baby, but I was terrified and part of me wished it wasn't happening. I wasn't sure how things were going to work out. My school work was coming to an end, piling high around me as I prepare to graduate. I've been under so much stress lately, just trying to keep up a decent grade. Working remotely made it even harder. Getting on the computer was a job.

Getting off was almost just as impossible. Once I would sit down and answer a flood of emails there would be three times more. I'd find my head was spinning with all the answers and my body forcing me to push through until every last one of them was taken care of.

It would be hours after I thought I had finished that I would actually log off for a couple of hours. But that was it, it was just a couple of hours. I could just work a basic 8-5 schedule, but the emails were coming in on California time and that was hours behind. My schedule wouldn't start until around 11 and end at sometime after 8. I was trapped by my computer. My schoolwork ran through the same hours, and I was forced to log on and get that done as well.

I was so grateful I never took the part time job or got it in the first place, because between the two of mine and helping Erin out at the Bridal shop, I was overbooked. I couldn't make up my mind on what I needed to do. I was so worried about making sure we had enough money that I added too much stress on myself.

Now that we were married I could quit my job, focus on school and getting the nursery ready for the baby. Oh dear god a baby.

We were not ready for this, well maybe Erin was, but I am not ready for this.

I started to panic. The more I thought about the baby coming in eight months the more I wanted to scream. I needed to get a drink quick.

David was supposed to meet me at the bar. He had gotten off work at the local coffee shop, the job he had gotten a few days after he arrived here in New York.

I shook my head lightly pushing the gas pedal even further into the floor. The sooner I could get to the bar the better. I wouldn't drink too much. I'd take a cab home If I needed to.

I took another turn, leading myself even closer to the bar. A simple club that Erin and I used to go to all the time. Especially after high school when we were testing the waters with the bitter liquid that I was about to indulge in. My heart racing at the thoughts of Erin sitting in the seat next to me, throwing her hair back as she laughs at one of my jokes. The jokes I used to tell her.

It's not like I stopped telling the jokes, they were just a entry into our newer conversations.

I wasn't shocked to see David when I pulled up to the club. He was usually places before me anyways. I was shocked that he hadn't invited Clara to come with us, and I was thankful for that. The past few weeks those two have been inseparable. Leaving the rest of us to count down the days until they were getting engaged. Enjoying the same joys that Erin and I had just gone through. But maybe just maybe they would wait a little longer before having a baby.

I felt kind of guilty that I was so worried about it.

I mean technically I was the one who put the baby in her. If I hadn't done that, then this wouldn't be happening. But it was our wedding night, what was I supposed to do. Just not sleep with my wife. I shook my head slamming the car door shut after I jumped out, the cool brisk air wrapping around me.

I mentally cursed myself for not bringing a jacket, or parking closer to the building. Why hadn't I thought about that?

David waved at me, coaxing me to come closer to him as he jumps back and forth on his feet in attempts to warm himself up. I shook my head chuckling at how idiotic he looked.

"How are you?" He asks, his voice like a lullaby to the nerves in my body. I hadn't told him why I wanted to meet her, but if Clara knew then he probably did as well. That did annoy me that she had told her best friend before me.

I was supposed to be her best friend, the one that knew everything, before everyone else. Was I not good enough?

She explained it to me as if it was a mistake, but was it really a mistake? She couldn't have waited another couple of hours before telling anyone? As she explained to me earlier we weren't supposed to tell anyone this early on anyways. Yet here I was meeting with my very own best friend to tell him the news. Hopefully he would have a better outlook on the situation.

We entered the bar and looked around the dingy room for a seat. This place had gotten substantially worse since Erin and I used to come here. David made that apparent as he held his nose in the air in disgust.

"Man is this place even safe enough to have a drink?" He questions, pulling his coat off as we take a seat in one of the booths by the window. Allowing us to look out over all the passerby of the busy streets. We were a little further out of town so the streets weren't as filled with walkers as the ones closer to the center of town, but there were still enough to keep us entertained for a few hours.

"Yeah alcohol kills everything so it's good that we drink that instead of anything else here," I cleared my throat looking at the menu on the table. I needed a drink but I would need some food to go with it.

"No, Carter, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," David shook his head trying to glance across the counter at the menu as well. I lay it flat on the table so the both of us can see it.

"Well if you can clean with alcohol then it must be safe no matter where it is served right?" I shrug finally deciding on one of the bacon burgers. After pushing the menu aside I placed my hands on the table fiddling with them slightly. Waiting for a waitress to come take our orders.

"Are you okay? you seem kind of nervous," David chimed in pulling me away from my thoughts once more. My eyes waiver up towards the green bar light hanging above our table. Probably hiding the amount of diseases were lingering on the bench seats. I shivered at the thought before turning to my friend.

"No, but we can get to that a little later, how are things with you and Clara? Hear any big news lately?" I was filling him out, if he already knew I didn't want to make a big deal out of the announcement.

David cocked his head for a moment, looking at me as if I was mentally insane. I shrugged trying to usher him to answer the question.

"Actually no, we haven't talked since noon, not for lacks of me trying. I wonder if I made her mad or something. She won't answer any of my texts or anything. So when you asked me if I wanted to get a drink, It couldn't have been better timing, I really like this girl. I can't believe I've been with her for almost a year now." David looked at the table as if it held all the answers to his worries.

"Well, you did move across the country with me for her, so she must have sparked some kind of interest in your life." I flicked a crumb that was left over from the last person sitting here. Possibly missed when they were wiping the tables down. At least I hope so. I wasn't sure how much cleaning they did.

"You don't even know the half of it, Clara is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I'm glad you ruined your relationship with Kylie for Erin, it gave me an excuse to follow you here to meet Clara. She put a fire in my soul that no other person ever has, just the thought of her being mad at me kills me. I don't know what I did wrong, but I really think I want to propose to her soon. Maybe in a couple months."

His comment came as a slight shock as I leaned forward leaning against the table. My elbows stabilizing me as I did so. David never seemed like the type to want to get married. He always gave me such a hard time for proposing to Kylie, though I shouldn't have. But when he helped me pick out the ring he tried talking me out of it. I wonder now if I would have listened to him if Erin hadn't showed up.

Would Kylie and I be married?

Would Kylie be pregnant?

A little bit of anger roared in the bottom of my belly reminding me of the reason we were here. Though I was happy for my friend I wanted to talk about that in a happier mindset. I wanted to congratulate him and help him pick out the ring, as I pretty much knew Clara almost as well as Erin.

"I'm so happy for you man, but I don't think Clara is mad at you, I think she is just being a good friend." This comment shocked me more than I had expected. I didn't mean to pull the conversation back to my problems so abruptly. It seemed like David really needed to talk.

A little bit of guilt emits from my chest, holding me back from pushing the conversation any further without a response. I needed to be a better friend to David, he was my only tie back to California, and though I wouldn't give up Erin, I missed my home.

"How can you be so sure that she isn't mad at me? Have you talked to her?" I could feel Davids foot tapping under the table. He was very clearly very nervous. If I could take any of that away from him I would and I knew a few gentle words would do that very trick.

"Well, I've talked to Erin, so I know Clara is not mad at you," I paused for a moment chuckling at the thought of the two girls. Sure it hurt that Clara knew before me, but those two tell each other everything and if one of them knew, then the other one did as well. "Erin and I have something to tell you and it's why I asked you here tonight,"

Oh god Carter just spit it out, you sound pathetic. I mentally smacked myself for making this more dramatic than it had to be. Rolling my eyes I looked at David. He was leaning on the edge of his seat just waiting to burst at my answer. A gasp of breath left my lips as I sunk deeper into my seat.

"Clara isn't mad at you she is just keeping a secret from you," Shit, that was not the right thing to say. I immediately hated the way I was talking. David was going to freak out at the thought of a secret, even if it was Erin and I's not Clara's.

"What kind of secret, oh dear god does she not love me anymore?" David was obviously panicked and though it annoyed me I knew it was my fault.

"No Erin is pregnant!" The words flew out of me like a lightning bolt.

David shot back in his seat as if I had just told him Clara was pregnant. Oh dear god I hope she wasn't pregnant too. I knew David could be a little crazy at times but he wasn't stupid.

He stared at me for a few moments his brain mulling over the thought of me being a father. My very own brain was doing the same. I had no training, no clue how to be a dad. I didn't even have the best example. Though mine was around he worked a lot missing out on a lot of our lives as kids. Yet I loved him, and I know he did his best, but what if my best wasn't good enough for my child.

Finally the waitress made it over to our table and all it did was slightly annoy me. She should have been here minutes ago, as there were very few full tables in this entire place. I sat annoyingly staring at her as she popped her gum and took our order. Thankful for the moment she finally walked away.

David leaned forward to look into my eyes as if he was going to search my soul for how he should feel about this. I cast my gaze towards the floor trying to avoid his uncomfortable stare.

"How are you so upset about this?"

I was taken back by his question, what did he mean so upset by this? How could he tell that just by looking at me a he had?

"What do you mean?" I couldn't muster up another comprehensible sentence. My heart frozen in it's cavity as it tried to remember how to work.

"You seem so angry, so annoyed, but your beautiful wife is bringing life into this earth and you seem horrified by that. Why? Did you not have intercourse with her to create this human?"

Suddenly I was questioning my very reasoning for bringing David here. I could have sat down and had a nice drink all by myself but here I was. Explaining to my best friend how I wasn't ready for a child.

"David, this is a wedding night baby, we didn't touch each other before the big night. I wanted some time with my wife before this happened,"

His eyes examined me once more as if he was a psychic mind reader. I felt so naked under his gaze. He had guessed so perfectly my emotions about it in the first place, what else was he able to tell?

"You aren't mad about the baby, you are just stressed and it came as a shock to you?" There he was. There was my understanding best friend that reminded me why I did call him in the first place. He had my back even if he did falter for a second there.

"I've got so much going on in my life right now. I tried getting a part time job out here just so I could cover more bills. I feel like a loser having my wife pay for all of our utilities,"

"What you feel bad because you and your wife work together as a team like you are supposed to? Carter what is really bothering you? Are you worried about turning into your father? Or not being good enough for the child, because you are the most prepared man I have ever met in my entire life. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not true." The waitress places our drinks on the table and I quickly pick mine up taking a few large gulps before thinking of a way to respond.

"I don't know what's wrong with me okay. I'm trying to graduate from school, I'm trying to work a full time job remotely, I help out at the bridal shop almost everyday to make sure my wife's job is as easy as possible. I cook, I clean, I do everything I can to not feel like a piece of shit cause I sit on my computer all day," I paused, taking another gulp of the burning liquid. "She is so amazing and I'm not sure how I got so lucky. I worry about money, I worry about her safety. Hell man, I have a graduation coming up and finals to take and I can barely answer all of my emails without frying my eyes out of my own head. I need a break from all of this stuff. I'm so behind from our trip to Paris before our wedding and that was over a month ago, I can't seem to catch a break and get caught up and now I'll have a child to look after as well,"

The words fly from my lips like poison. But David never blinked, never looked away. He was listening taking in every fear I had, every thought I could throw his way.

He sat for a moment taking a bite of his food that the awful waitress had sat down in front of us. I grabbed the drink once more taking a couple of gulps until it was empty. In twenty minutes I would be feeling the affects and hopefully things would be coming a little easier to me. I shook my head trying to get the disgusting taste out of my mouth.

David leaned forward as if he was about to speak but leaned back again to take another bite of his food.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I hung my head grabbing my own burger, pulling a strip of bacon off and plopping it in my mouth. The juicy fat explodes in my mouth, filling it with flavor. I grab the burger bringing it to my lips before taking a big bite into it.

"Well Carter, to tell you the truth..." His pauses were driving me crazy, "I think you really need to talk to Erin about all of this,"