Wedding Bells

Chapter 14

My alarm clock went off a lot sooner than I thought it would. Stirring me from my slumber. I couldn’t say I remembered setting one in the first place. I stared at the clock, watching it carefully as it changed. The numbers going up, telling me it was time for me to head to work here soon.

My body ached, but I knew I needed to fight it. I had to go to work and check up on things. Pop in so that everyone knew I was still alive. Yet the thoughts of staying in bed danced in my head, coaxing me to spend the day with them.

I couldn’t.

I pushed the sheets away, dragging myself out of the warmth. My feet hit the floor and I head towards the bathroom to get ready for work. Once I was fanning my hair out, and checking my outfit in the mirror I decided it was time for me to head to work.

Heading into the kitchen to make my breakfast I realized something was missing. I searched around the living room looking for any sign of my husband. Where had he gone? I felt a little sad that he hadn’t woken me up before he left. Plus where did he need to go this early in the morning?

I rushed back to my room to grab my phone. Turning it on I checked for any text messages. I didn’t have any though. Why didn't he text me before he left? My head was spinning with all the thoughts. I quickly dialed Carter’s number holding the phone to my ear. Yet there was never an answer.

Placing the phone back on the dresser I went back to the kitchen. Maybe he left a note or something for me. I wasn't so lucky this time either. The counters were empty as if they had been cleaned recently. A fresh smell of windex wafting through the air.

I grabbed a pan from one of the cupboards before grabbing the eggs out of the fridge. I figured I could pass a little bit of time by making myself some breakfast. While the eggs were cooking I flipped the tv on, allowing the news to drone on in the background.

Stories of missing people, murders, robberies, and anything else that was depressing in the world filled the room. Good old New York news to start your morning.

~*~

The shop was busy, with brides everywhere. I was so grateful that Clara was able to step in on my appointments so the brides didn’t have to go without a dress. The employees were smiling and beaming, as they welcome me back into the shop. Clara rushed over to greet me wrapping her arms around me.

“I’m so glad to see you, but how do we keep your mother out of here?” She whispers pointing towards the back room. I shook my head a little bit of shock falling over me.

“Mom is here?” I muttered. I didn’t know how I was going to convince her that she needed to go home and rest. But maybe that would be a bad thing to do, I didn’t want to treat her like she was broken because then she would push us away.

“Yes, she was here before I was, she unlocked the door for me… that NEVER happens,” I could feel my eyes go wide when Clara said that, my mother was never late but she was never the first one at the shop. Usually the shop was opened by either Clara or I and we would have at least thirty minutes before my mother ever arrived.

“How many alterations does she have today?”  Maybe if she didn’t have too much work she would be able to go home early.

“Well, she is kind of behind due to her hospital stay,” I could tell Clara was trying to dance around the topic. I honestly didn’t really want to talk about it either. I hadn’t helped with alterations in a long time but maybe if the rest of the shop wasn’t too far behind I could do that today.

“How is the rest of the shop doing?” Clara shrugged her shoulders, showing me the schedule for the day. We had a few appointments for this afternoon but so far the morning was pretty easy going.

“Good actually, we have a lot of people to help out and is Carter heading over to help out as well?” I wasn’t sure how to answer the question. I hadn’t talked to Carter since two days ago. He was asleep when I got home from taking my mom home, and was gone this morning when I woke up for work.

“I ended up sleeping at my moms house I was so sleep deprived yesterday and didn’t get home till late, Carter was asleep on the couch and I wasn’t able to wake him up, but when I woke up for work he was gone. I haven’t talked to him in a few days, so I don’t know if he is coming in or not,” It felt a little awkward trying to explain to Clara what was going on. I felt slightly embarrassed at how Carter and I havent been a better, more cohesive unit since we got married. Things mattered now more than ever and it's like they just weren't working as well as they used to. I couldn't tell if it was just all the stress with my mother or our actual relationship. She did find out about her cancer the day after our wedding.

“That's kind of strange, he was here yesterday to close up the shop, but I haven't seen him this morning, have you tried calling him?” I nodded my head. I didn't know he was here yesterday to help out. He was always taking care of things.

Suddenly I wanted to smack myself on the head. I've been so wishy washy over everything the last few days. Everything hurts my feelings but im so in love that nothing does at the same time.

Maybe I needed to get myself checked out.

“Hopefully he shows up soon, maybe he is out with David doing something?” I tried my best to sound upbeat about the situation.

“He will show up and we will get this all figured out. He might just be stressing over the fact that your mom has cancer and your worried about it, and he doesn't want to say the wrong thing or something.” Clara shrugs, and as grateful I was for her, it didn't seem to settle my feelings.

“Thank you, I guess I should probably go get to work helping my mom so we can hopefully get her out of here earlier,” I smile, tapping Clara on the shoulder before giving her a hug. I was so lucky to have a best friend like her.

“Good luck with that,” She smiled before walking off towards the main level. Strolling across the bridal shop to help one of the many ever waiting brides. I turned towards the alteration portion of the store. When I got there my mother was working desperately on one of the dresses.

I watched her carefully, waiting for her to notice me. But she was so focused on making every last stitch so perfect that she didn’t. Her hair looked not as soft as normal and it was the first time in a long time that I saw it pulled back in a bun. Usually she always had it down around her shoulders, in perfect curls at the bottom.

I felt sad for her, since her whole world had changed and here she was trying to make sure everything was just as normal as it could be.

“Hey mom, how are you?” She stopped for a moment before turning around to look at me. She placed her arms in the air, coaxing me for a hug. It didn’t take me long to jump into her arms, wrapping them around her as tightly as I could.

“I’m doing alright, what are you doing here?” She questions, grabbing the dress once again after I’ve let go. She went back to work on stitching watching very carefully at what she was doing. I searched through her list of dresses that needed to be done, searching for the ones that I could manage to do. My mother would correct me if I picked something too hard. It wasn’t very often I helped and I wasn’t as well versed in the stitching of dresses as my mothers was.

“Do you think can handle dress number 473 for a Debra?” I held up the paper, waiting for my mother to answer.

“What do you mean do I think you can handle it? Are you helping me today? You never help me anymore, you haven’t since you took over the shop.” A pang of guilt shoots through my heart. I should have been in here more. I should help her get her stuff done. She was always helping us when things were slow in here and it should work the other way as well.

“I’m sorry I never help out, but I’m here now. Please let me help you,” I smiled, grabbing the dress off the rack. She glances at the paper before shaking her head.

“No why don’t you take care of dress number 239, for a Becky. That will help me out even more,” Her voice cracked as she spoke. Another pang of guilt. I placed the dress for Debra back on the shelf, then grabbing the dress for Becky and taking a seat at the table opposite of my mother.

I glanced around the room, the decorations on the walls all memories of the days when my father was still alive. Pictures of the three of us, but the one that meant the most to me was the picture of my birth mother that she kept on the wall. This made me smile, knowing that she still supported her even though she was before Evelyn’s time.

“Hopefully we can get this done pretty quickly,” I smiled looking up at my mother. She shook her head.

“Is that why you are in here?” She questions, her hands stopping for just a moment as they fall to her lap. The needle still in her hand.

“What do you mean?” I grabbed some of the thread off the counter and taking a little needle of my own. Prepping it to begin working on the dress.

“If you are only here to help me get these done faster so that I can go home early then I don’t want you to be here, I love spending time with you, but this is not how I want it. I can still do my job, I am not broken.” I could see the tears in her eyes, but she tried to hide them from me. I felt horrible, like the worst daughter in the entire world.

“No, I want to be here with you, and honestly, yes… Clara and I were hoping to get you out of here a little early so that you could rest, but mom I’m not trying to push you, I am just trying to take care of you, because I love you momma,” I tried my best to console her. I jumped from my seat dropping the needle on the table so that I could hug her.

“Erin, please just let me do what I need, and what I want. You can stay here but please don't treat me any differently. I’m trying to get through this. I don’t want things to be any different.” Maybe we were just being selfish trying to take care of her without her wanting Theher to. I was the worst daughter in the world.

“I’m so sorry mother,” I could feel the atmosphere in the room getting thicker. The tension could be cut with a knife and all of this was because of the simple fact that I couldn’t take care of my mother the way I wanted to. I wanted to take away all of the pain from her.

“It’s okay sweetheart, I just really don’t want things to change at all,” She tried her best to fake a smile, but I could see there were still some hurt in her eyes. I hated myself at the moment for making her feel that way.

“I just need you to understand a little bit that I am going through it too. Obviously not the same way as you, but I am going through it, and dealing with it. So I apologize up front for trying to take care of you and in some sense treating you like a baby,” I knew I wouldn’t be able to make up for the way I was acting but hopefully this would give her a sense of understanding for my actions.

“I understand sweetheart and I love you very much,”  One more hug, and a few moments later we were back to work on the dresses. Spending a few hours working away with my mother was the best thing I could have done.

A few hours later Clara came rushing into the room. Holding a bouquet of flowers in her hand as she ran for a set of vases.

“What are those from?” My mother smiled, staring at the flowers. They truly were beautiful.

“David just got here and Erin, I need you to come out here as well,” My mother and I jump from our seats and rush out of the back room following Clara to the bridal floor. I wasn’t sure what she was so panicked about, but the flowers were enough to intrigue me.

“Clara what the heck is going on?” I asked, as we enter the main floor of the bridal shop, and my jaw almost hit the floor. Carter was standing there, in the middle of the floor holding two bouquets of flowers. A smile on his face from ear to ear.

“What are you doing here?” I rushed over to Carter taking the flowers out of his hand, setting them down on the counter, before jumping in his arms. “Oh my gosh I love you so much and I missed you the last few days,”I could feel the excitement building up in my chest.

“I love you too babe,I brought these over for the strongest woman I know, you and your mother. As I left the flowers for Clara to David,” Carter muttered, the smile only growing wider on his face.

“You guys are all such an inspiration to me, and you three work so hard to be the most amazing woman I know,” Carter was the most amazing man, and I couldn't even remember what I was frustrated with him about earlier. All the sadness faded away, all of the harsh feelings. It was all gone. I was filled with so much love and joy.

“Awe, you seriously spoil me,” Carter leaned down and kissed me holding me close to him.

“Oh Erin, there's a few more people here so i'll go help them out,” Clara muttered as she left the rest of us to continue talking. I turned to look at Carter one more time, planting a kiss on his cheek. I took a deep breath realizing my stomach is twisting and turning. Growing more and more uncomfortable by the second.

“Please excuse me,” I muttered turning to run up the stairs as fast as I could. The bile was building up in my throat, getting closer to the top the faster I ran. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it on time.

Flinging the door open to my personal bathroom, I collapsed on the floor scraping my knees against the grout in the tile before I fully released myself into the toilet.

I threw up a few times, allowing my body to fully get rid of whatever was harvesting itself inside my stomach. Holding my hair back as I spit the disgusting taste into the water before falling backwards. Flicking the handle on the toilet. The water begun swirling until eventually it was gone.

“What could that possibly be?” I shook my head looking at the floor.