Wedding Bells

Chapter 13

I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt me that Carter had left us a few days ago to go do god knows what. It made it slightly better than he came back with food. I needed him here with me. Needed the support while dealing with my mother's illness.

Carter had gone home, he needed to get some work done before he lost his job, and that was fine. My mother was going home as well, we were currently loading up her things for the trek there. She would have to take a cab, she wouldn't be able to drive for a few months. Due to the surgery on her chest.

Soon she would be starting treatment and I could see in her eyes that she was scared. She didn't want to go through this, no one does, but the fear that was building up on her face was inevitably noticeable. But we were going to be here for her. That was what she said she needed, was her family.

I sat on the chair in the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to walk her down. We had been kicked out a little earlier to give her some privacy for her and her doctor. Clara and David had gone home a little earlier this morning. They could barely stand and needed their very own good nights rest. But yet I was still here, with my eyes bulged out of my head like they were about to fall out.

Or maybe they already had, I lost all feeling hours ago. I was so tired, so hungry, I didn't even know if I was going to be capable enough to get my mother home. But I was the only one left here to do it. She needed me and I would be there for her until she didn't.

Maybe I needed her more and I needed to lean on her to make myself feel better in this moment. As selfish and horrible as that sounds. I wanted to take her everywhere, suddenly the thought of losing another person drove me crazy. I couldn't function without her, all the times I've used her for my own personal gain. Especially with the shop, oh dear god I need to fire her from the shop. I know she would never quit.

But I can't fire my own mother, she needs the money, especially now so she can pay for all of these bills. Maybe Carter and I can cover some of them, or at least try to cover some of them. I shook my head trying to gt all of the thoughts to slow down and suddenly it was silent.

It was like my brain was broken, running on complete autopilot. I needed something to help wake me back up. So I calmly stroll from the waiting room towards the coffee machine. This had become my best friend throughout the last three days. The coffee was horrible, as it burnt on the bottom of the glass. But it was the only thing that would help me survive the next few hours.

Getting myself and my mother home.

I bet she was tired as well, so exhausted from being here for what felt like years. Even though things were about to get worse, I couldn't help myself but stay hopeful for the next visit. Maybe they would realize they made a mistake and she doesn't actually have cancer.

Cancer...

the big 'C' word that everyone is scared of and now days, everyone gets. The word that I thought my perfectly healthy mother was strong enough to avoid. But I was wrong. It was there, infecting her beautiful soul.

What were we supposed to talk about in the car? Do we tackle the topic head on or do we dance around the bush and talk about the weather. Was there something wrong with talking about it? Was there something wrong with ignoring it?

At this moment I was glad my father was not here to see this, and I'm sure my mother agreed. This would have destroyed him. The love he shares for people was so strong, and so phenomenal that he wouldn't stand the ones he loved having something even as small as a paper cut. He wouldn't have killed himself just to make sure she could take another breath.

Finally the doctor came out from the double doors, and I swished the coffee around in the Styrofoam cup. Blowing on it to distract myself while I watch for my mother. She wasn't in her hospital gown anymore. She was in a set of clothes that Clara had brought to her a few days ago. She looked weak, fragile, but I realized she looked the same.

Symptoms that have been appearing for months and I've been too busy to notice. I should have just looked at her, really looked at her and I would have been able to see all the pain she was feeling, the sadness in her eyes, but I was too busy. I found myself in a roller coaster of a romance and I essentially left her in the dust, to feed off the end of the train. I was so horrible to her.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes once again. The struggle to fight them back almost unbearable. I didn't have the energy to cry though. I'd been running on empty for forty-eight hours now. Soon she would be home, and she would be able to shower, and things would be better. They will always get better.

I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arm through hers as I helped her walk. She was still a little loopy from the anesthetic and the pain pills. But she was smiling and that smile was enough to make me crush through walls and walk miles for her.

"Thank you" She whispered, and though I knew it put a lot of strain on her to do that I wished she would do it again.

"You're welcome mamma," I whispered back to her before planting a quick little kiss on the side of her head.

I helped her all the way to the cab pickup point. But she insisted that she make it the rest of the way on her own. I panicked watching her shake as she got into the car. I closed the door behind her before getting in on the other side, and the cab driver pulled away taking us further away from the dreaded place that told my mother the awful news we got just a mere three days ago.

I don't think we will let this beat us though. Us Rose women were fighters, and we stuck together. We would survive this, and soon enough this would just be a roadblock of the past.

I made sure to walk my mother up to her house. I wanted to make sure she was safe, and didn't collapse on the stairs or in the elevator. Lucky for us, the elevator was working this time. There were many times it wasn't and I hoped that it wouldn't be broken.

She held my arm the entire walk, making sure to put some of her weight on me so she wouldn't fall. It wasn't that she was that weak, the medication was affecting her so much it was like she couldn't control her very own body.

"You really didn't have to walk me all the way up here," She moans, placing the key in the lock on the door. The surgery had taken so much out of her, that she had to try a few times just to twist it. Once the lock finally clicked she removed her key and opened the door.

The house smells fresh, just as good as it always did growing up. There was never a day this place wasn't spotless, clean feeling with a beautiful smell wafting through the air. My mother was amazing at that.

"Of course I did," I muttered placing my bag down on the couch before falling onto it myself. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy and though I needed to get home, I wasn't sure I would be able to get back up anytime soon.

"Well honey, do you want a snack..." and that was the last thing I remembered before I fell soundly asleep on the sofa.

~*~

A few hours later I was jostled to sleep. Something startling me enough that my head shot off the couch, searching the room for monsters. My chest was rapidly expanding before decreasing just as fast. I didn't remember falling asleep and the more I thought about it the more I realized it was probably for the better. My mother sad soundly on the other couch, reading a magazine while drinking a steaming cup of coffee. I pushed myself up off the couch, tossling my hair slightly.

"How long was I out?" My mother shook her head before shrugging.

"Not too long, only a few hours or so, I already called Carter and Clara to let them know where you were," She paused for a moment but I could still tell there was something else on her mind.

"Thank you," I whispered trying to throw it in there before the conversation went to far in a different direction. She walked carefully as if to avoid gentle topics, but she started speakin again.

"I really am okay, you can head home and spend the time with Carter. I promise I will call you if anything happens," She sounded so sure of it, so passionate about being by herself and suddenly I realized she needed it. She probably felt so cooped up having so many people looking after her for the last three days. She couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom by herself, and here she was in her very own home getting the same treatment. Things were not normal and I could tell she was in need of them to return to as normal as possible.

"Okay, but please be careful, understand you aren't as young as you used to be, and if you get into any trouble I'll be here to help," I gathered my things, though there weren't many of them as Carter had made sure to keep everything organized. Making trips back and forth from the house to the hospital to take clothes, and items, bring phone chargers, whatever you could think of.

I thought about stopping by the shop for a few minutes, but Clara had gone back to hold down the fort. I didn't want to step over her toes either. I guess I should just head home and get the rest I deserved.

I glanced at my phone screen, I had quite a few missed calls from Carter, and a couple of text messages, all asking where I was. I panicked or a moment before glancing at the time. It was past midnight and knowing him he was passed out by now. I decided not to text him back and to just get home. I'd explain when I got there.

~*~

The key in the lock was much easier than normal, almost as if the door had been left unlocked for me. When I opened the door I realized why this was the case. Carter was asleep on the couch...he must have been waiting for me. I couldn't help but smile as I walked over too the handsome man that was my husband. I was so lucky to have him around.

I lightly tapped his shoulder trying to wake him up. He managed to shuffle before toppling over onto the couch. A slight groan escaping his lips as he fell. I flinched, making sure he wasn't it startled when he woke up, but he never did. If it hadn't been for his slight movements and his moan I would have thought he was dead.

"Carter," I muttered a few times, the anger starting to rise in my chest. I tried to push it back knowing it was only that time of the month or at least it should be but the stress was holding her away. So I was stuck in limbo of emotions and anxiety and I was so sleep deprived I didn't even know my own name at times. But it was still there, boiling under the surface.

I scoffed slightly, annoyed at both myself and at Carter. I had no reason to be mad at him but I wanted to be so now I was. As I stumbled back towards our bedroom I thought I heard a noise. Like a voice in the living room calling to me. So I turned on my heel and rushed back to the living room. Maybe Carter had woken up and he was finally ready to give me some attention.

But when I arrived back in the living room, I was met with the same sleeping husband as before. A few moments pass as I stare at him, his ruffled blonde hair messy from sleeping on the couch. The watch I had purchased him for our first Christmas together years ago was still on his wrist and I couldn't believe that thing still worked. He wore a white polo tee as if he had to do some conference calls today for his job. He was clean, and strong, and showed so many values just in his appearance.

My heart dropped in my chest though, a wave of loneliness filling in the spots where Carter hadn't been. I guess missing our honeymoon was going to affect us a little bit more than I thought. I took a seat on the couch, thinking of our trip to Paris, at least we would have that one to remember for our wedding.

I shook my head, it was silly for us to have two honeymoons anyways. Such a spoiled thought and how were you supposed to explain that to people without sounding horrible. The trip to Paris has originally been for business, but once the plane tickets were purchased it quickly became business at first and pleasure afterwards.

Carter was the most romantic guy I knew, and thought right now I was slightly annoyed I was so grateful I got to marry him. I picked myself back up off the couch before noticing a package that I hadn't seen. It struck me how sleep deprived I actually was as there was no way I should have missed this. I took a few steps towards it making sure to not make too much noise. Not that it would wake Carter up anyways.

I inspect the package before thinking it possibly could be Carter and maybe it was for his work. Bending down to search for the label on the box I noticed something kind of unusual about it. It was addressed to Carter, but it was from Paris.

What could it possibly be?

My heart was racing once again as I tried to convince myself to open it. I didn't want to mess with it if it was for his job, but I didn't think they had an office in Paris. I'm pretty sure the company he worked for was exclusively in the states.

My fingers were tingling. I needed to open this package. I shook my head before grabbing a knife and very carefully cutting at the tape. Carter shouldn't mind if it is something for his work, but if he was expecting something why didn't he just open it?

A million questions run through my mind as I slowly peel away the different flaps of the box to reveal something I never expected to see.

My mind shot back to Paris once more. When we were on top of the eiffel tower and that stranger was taking our photo. I swore to Carter this would never show up and that, he was getting scammed out of our last 200 dollars. I couldn't help but get upset with him when he had such a positive outlook on it, as if it was of course going to show up.

Here it was. It was in my hand.

A pang of guilt shoots through my body. I'd have to apologize to him for how I had acted about him purchasing this.

I quickly pulled it out of the box. Not really worried about the noise it was making. If Carter wanted to wake up that would be good news to me. I held the large frame in my hand tugging at it until it finally released itself. Placing the picture against the wall before taking a few steps back to inspect it.

He truly did get every last detail into the picture. I was speechless at how amazing it had actually turned out. Sure he was trying to build his portfolio and he wasn't as famous as he wanted to be, but this picture was stunning. I could almost smell the streets of Paris once again. The fine tune colors, and perfect paint strokes captured a moment I would cherish forever.

I needed to find a place to hang this up right away.

I searched the walls, growing slightly depressed at how bare they were. Carter and I hadn't yet gotten any decorations hung up. All of our wedding presents piled in the corner for us to open, but we had been too busy with my mother.

But the more I walked around the living room the more my body ached for sleep. Begged me to walk to the bedroom and collapse into our bed. The bed Carter and I had bought for him when he decided he was moving out here to New York.

When he moved out here to be with me.

So giving into my bodies demands I slowly trek the hallway back to our bedroom. Wishing Carter was joining me. But as I tuck myself into the cozy sheets all of that seemed to drift away and I was able to fall sound asleep.