Wedding Bells

Chapter 11

We waited for what felt like ever. The time on the clock ticking away so slowly, like a Thanksgiving dinner that just took too long. How would I feel when I saw her? Would I cry? Of course I'm going to cry, what a silly thing for me to think I would be able to avoid.

I wiped the crusty tears away from my eyes. Glancing at the clock for what was the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. They told us she was out of surgery, but she would need some time to wake up before we were allowed in.

I wanted to scream, to jump across the desk to the lady with her smug smile, wrap my hands around her throat until she passed out.

She had refused to let us in multiple times, ignoring us as we sit in the uncomfortable chairs across from her. I tried to focus on her hair, her nail polish, anything to judge, to get my anger out. But it didn't seem to matter.

Carter was asleep in the chair, and though it would frustrate me normally right now it brought me a sense of calmness. Something that still felt normal in the world.

"Erin Rose?" finally the nurse behind the desk stood, holding a clipboard in her hand. I jumped from my seat rushing over to the desk, nearly tripping over Carters foot, rustling him awake in the process.

"She has just woken up, please sign this waiver and you may go in, only two people are allowed in the room at a time, and four during visiting hours." The nurse took her seat once again before placing a large flower pen on the clipboard.

I dont think ive ever signed anything so fast in my life. The nurse took the clipboard before a small chuckle left her mouth.

"A nurse will be out in a few moments to escort two of you to Evelyn's room." The nurse turned away from me, typing away on the computer. My heart sank in my chest at the realization that I would have to wait even longer before I would be able to see my mother. The woman that had taken such good care of me my entire life and now I felt like I was letting her down.

"How long should that take?" I question feeling the tears boil up in my chest once more. I just needed to know if my mother was okay, to see her smile, hold her hand and let her know that I have been here with her the entire time.

A few moments pass but the nurse seemed to just ignore everything I had to say. I scoffed walking away. Once back at the chairs I updated the rest of the group on the rules. Clara shook her head before yawning.

"We've been here since two in the morning, and they are just barely getting her to a point where we can see her. All she did was pass out this morning." Clara rolled her eyes, her voice showed how exhausted she was. I shot her a glare, throwing daggers at her with my eyes. What the hell did she mean all she did was pass out? My mother had been a breeding group for tumor in her chest. Clara must have noticed my anger.

"I just mean we should have been able to see her now, or at least heard an update. They should work faster to help the people that are in here," She fiddled with her fingers working on picking the nail polish off of her nails.

"I guess you are right," David muttered, agreeing with his girlfriend. I looked back and forth between the two of them. He shook his hands out as if he was trying to bring the feeling back into his hands.

"I just need to get in there, I love her so much and if anything happened to her I would be devastated, I couldn't lose her, not this early, not this close to so many exciting things in my life." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes once more. Losing my father had nearly destroyed me. I was so young and it meant I was thrown into so many stressful things that I wasn't sure how I would be able to hand them. Somehow I was able to stay above water and I believe the only reason that happened was because I had my mother.

Clara and I met because of the shop, when I took over we hardly knew each other. In highschool I spent all my time with Carter and once my father passed away I was forced to be at the shop any second I could be.

"We will get you in there soon to see your momma," Carter wrapped his arms around me, stretching to pull me in with his full force. I enjoyed having him here, allowing myself to find comfort in his grasp. I knew things would be much worse if he wasn't here with me in this moment.

It was like it was on command, a younger gentleman walks out of the doors, parting the way to the waiting area. He pulls out his very own clipboard, holding it up to read the name on it. I jumped up rushing over to him, not allowing him time to speak.

"Erin Rose, yeah that's me, where is she?" He stumbled back for a moment, looking at his board before looking back at me. Nodding his head a couple of times he seemed confused.

"Uhh yeah, you know the rules, only two allowed in the room until visiting hours, so one more person can go with you, who will it be?" He questions. I turn to look at my friends and husband, waiving for them to come over. I didn't care one bit who came with me, just as long as I was in there with my mother.

"I'll stay back, Clara go in and see her, you were with her when it happened, she might have some questions." Clara nodded her head as if she agreed with Carter.

"That's probably smart," David added to the conversation. I shook my head turning to the nurse.

"Where is she?!" I could feel the anger building up in my voice, maybe I should try to be more polite, but at this point I had been waiting for hours. My body was aching, my flight had been missed, and my mother was lying alone in a hospital bed with no one there to support her.

"Um, okay follow me," The nurse turned on his heel before heading through the doors once more. Carter leaned forward to kiss my forehead, missing as I pulled away to follow the man. I turned to look at him, showing my best apologetic look, allowing my feet to pull me further away from him.

I was going to see my mother.

The nurse led us through hallways, longer than I could ever imagine. It felt like we walked forever, back rooms with other patients, lying, either alone or with family members. The feeling left a knot in my stomach, and I suddenly felt like I needed to throw up.

"Wait," I yelped, searching for the closest bathroom. Luckily for me there was one just down the hallway. Clara and the nurse both stop almost immediately, turning to look at me as I place my hand over my mouth. Sprinting towards the bathroom. I count my steps as I collapse on the floor in front of the toilet releasing all of my guts into the bowl. Shaking as the bile enters the water.

Once I was finished I wiped my mouth, shaking my had before allowing my body to sputter and cough. The nerves must be getting to me, all of the anxious feelings finally enough to destroy me.

I sat there on that floor for a few more minutes leaning my head against the cool bathroom wall before hearing a knock on the door.

"Are you okay?" The voice was very clearly Clara. It pulled me out of the sleep deprived state I was in reminding me that I needed to get up off the floor so I could get out there to see my mom. My heart was racing, my legs weak but somehow I managed to pull myself back up and leave the bathroom.

"I'm fine," I exclaimed, trying to subside any worry from the nurse and my dear friend. They walked cautiously, turning to check on me every few seconds to make sure I was still behind them. I was able to keep up, but the bile was building up in my stomach once again.

"Here she is," She nurse turned the corner before pointing into one of the rooms on the right. I couldn't remember how we got here, all the turns we had to make. Hell I couldn't even remember what floor we were on. But somehow here we were, and there she was. I could see her through the window on the door. She was laying in the bed, the hospital gown hiding how skinny she looked. Her hair seemed duller than normal and I realized I had been too busy to notice before.

I should pay more attention to the woman around me. My friends, my family, everyone, I had been so caught up in my own world. So self centered that I hadn't even noticed my mother had a cough. Something as small as a cough can turn into something as big as possible breast cancer. My heart sank once again.

Now if only we knew if she actually had cancer or not.

My hand falls to the door handle. Sitting for a moment as I look over her once again. She didn't seem to notice that we were there. Holding the side of the bed as she looks out the window. Would she still be loopy on the drugs?

I did my best to calm my breathing down. Taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out before I finally opened the door. The metal clicked drawing my mother's attention in our direction.

And the tears started.

I could see them in her eyes, and my eyes all at the same time. She was devastated that I was still here. Suddenly I felt guilty for not being her sooner. I should have been here with her last night. Should have stayed to help clean up after the wedding.

"Oh hun, you should be on your honeymoon by now," Her voice was fragile, but she raised her hand towards me. I've never walked so fast in my life. Grabbing her hand in mine and holding it as tightly as I could without hurting her. Clara was at her other side, holding her other hand as we did our best to surround her with the love she deserves.

"I'm not leaving with you in this room like this," I lightly stomped my foot as if that was going to show I was any more serious about it. For some reason she smiled. Holding her breath as she tried to squeeze my hand in return. She was still weak from the surgery.

"Oh Erin, everything will be okay. You and Carter should go," She smiled turning to look at Clara for a quick moment. A light beeping echos in the background, following her heartbeat as it bounces on the screen. A tear slips down my cheek, my hand shooting up to wipe it away before it falls on the floor.

"No, I am exactly where I need to be," I never knew I could feel this much pain. Even though she was still alive it felt as if I had lost her.

"Any word on how bad it is?" Clara muttered. Her hand trembling on the other side of the bed, bad enough I could see it from a mile away.

"No, the nurse should be back in her in about an hour or so with the results. They were able to remove them easy enough, but they might have to go back in if it is cancer to make sure they have them all. We will have to wait and see," My mother was amazing, though her voice was slightly strained she sounded stronger than ever. A soldier of a woman, a trooper on the front line as she took this problem head on. I aspire to be half the woman she is and here I was blubbering like a baby over this.

"You scared us all," I appreciated Clara for taking the lead and speaking to my mother. She was able to find the words that I just couldn't. My brain wasn't forming sentences, and I didn't know if I would even be able to say a word if I had wanted to. But Clara was there and she was much stronger than I was in this moment.

"Well I don't even remember what happened. Last thing I remember we were saying goodbye to the beautiful bride and groom as they hopped in the limo and left for the hotel," My mother turned to look at me, attempting to squeeze my hand once more.

"You passed out shortly afterwards. We were working on cleaning up the cake and stuff and you just collapsed, at first we thought it was just from exhaustion, so we managed to wake you up. We had you sitting in a chair at one point and you muttered weird phrases that didn't make any sense at all, but eventually you passed out a second time, fell out of the chair and hit the floor pretty hard, so we called 911. When we got you here they were doing a few tests to see if they could figure out what happened and that was when they found the lumps in your chest,"

It almost hurt to listen to Clara speak. To finally know what my mother had actually gone through. The way she hit the ground, all of the details I didn't know before rushed inside my skull creating the worst scenario physically possible.

I tried to push it to the back of my mind. I needed to focus on something a little more positive if I wanted to make it through this without bawling even harder.

The nausea had seemed to subside as I took a seat in the chair placed next to the bed.

"I'm so lucky to had you two, both of you are daughters to me, neither by birth but both bring me so much love and joy to my life, that I wouldn't know what to do without you two. I actually would probably be dead right now, but I have you two strong beautiful women to look out for me,"

Clara and I glanced at each other taking my mother's words to heart.

"You are the glue that holds us together," I managed to get out.

"Man are we glad to see you!" Carter's voice echoes through the air as the three of us turn around to see him and David entering the room. Soon enough his arms were around me, his hand on my mothers as well, holding both of us at the same time.

"There's my boys," My mother teases, a twinkle in her eye forms as she looks around the now full room.

"I thought they only allowed two people in here at a time until visiting hours?" I couldn't help but ask the question, even though I was filled with no complaints.

"We slipped the nurse behind the counter a twenty and she told us the room number," David was quick to answer, his words frustrating me more than I wanted to admit.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" I felt myself explode with annoyance, glancing up to look at Carter as he shrugs his shoulders. He nods his head at me as if I needed more proof to their story.

"It's true, for some reason she just didn't seem to like you at all," I rolled my eyes, turning to look at my feet in embarrassment.

"I guess..." My words were mere whispers.

"What are you guys talking about?" My mother chimes in wondering what all of the fuss was about.

"The nurse was giving her a hard time and wouldn't let her in to see you, something about not being related to you, apparently step children don't count." Carter shrugged his shoulders as if he was just telling her what his favorite candy was. I couldn't have been more annoyed with the woman at the front desk.

"Well, she doesnt matter because you are family to me, I raised you, picked you up when you fell down, helped you with all of your hardships, you are my child. Just cause I didn't push you out of my lady bits are you any less special." The smile on my mother's face grew as the boys in the room cover their ears, pretending like they were falling off.

"Grow a pear," she teased, a hoarse chuckle following.

In that moment I knew I had the greatest family, that we could make jokes even in a time like this. But before I could say anything the doctor entered the room.

"Evelyn, how are you feeling?" The doctor questions my mother. She nods for a moment.

"Much better now that my family is here," she uses her hands to show all of us. The doctor smiles before holding the file in the air.

"Would you like to hear the results?" his tone was much different tone this time. This brought the anxious nerves back, but I tried my best to swallow them back for my mom.

"Yes, everyone here can stay and listen," she mentions.

"Well Evelyn, it seems to me that we got lucky with this one, but there's a long road ahead of us. You have stage two breast cancer..."

I'm not leaving her here alone, without moral support.