Wedding Bells

Chapter 6

My heart jumped for joy as soon as I saw Carter. He looks at me, slows his pace before turning into the store. Not a single word spoken between the two of us. I pulled my phone out to check it one more time. He hadn’t texted me back either.

I turned to chase after him before a girl grabs my arm and whips me around so that I was looking at her. My shoulders sank and I realized what this was going to be. A question I didn't want to answer.

“Does this come in a different color?” She holds a dress in my face, just as annoyed as the other girl. I looked around the shop wanting to just point out every single sign that says if it’s not on the racks we don’t have it for the sale.

“Everything we have for the sale is on the racks, if it isn’t on the racks them we don’t have it,” I tried my best to make it not sound so annoyed, but unfortunately for me, I don’t think it worked.

“Why don’t you have this in a blush, I can only wear a blush dress,” The girl looked at me like I put all the horrible things on this earth. I turn to point towards another rack. I felt the annoyance building up inside me. The hatred for the way people treat dresses at time. Not even dresses, just stuff that wasn't their own property.

“All of our blush, or colored dresses are on that rack. I suggest searching there,” I smiled, but that must have only made it worse. She scoffed threw the dress on the ground and ran towards the other rack.

I couldn't believe these people. Bending over I picked up the dress, straightened it out and placed it back on the rack it was supposed to be on. I searched the room to see where I was most needed, but my eyes fell on Carter. He was standing at the other cash register, pounding numbers into it as fast as possible, helping as many girls as he could. It was like he read my mind knowing exactly where I needed him. If only he would have stopped and said something to me the moment he came in the shop.

My heart was racing, both with confusion and pain. I didn’t mean to hurt him last night, but apparently I had. I just wanted to wait to move in until after we were married. He couldn’t get mad at me for being a little scared since my first engagement hadn’t worked out so well.

This room was filled with hundreds of girls who were all here for the same thing. Because they needed to buy their wedding dress. I was willing to bet out of the thousands of brides we would see today over a hundred of them weren’t going to make it to their wedding day. That was the hard part of this business and unfortunately I had experienced it first hand.

My heart aches for those girls though, because maybe it won’t be their fault. They spent all this time, and energy, planning for a day that will never come, only to have to restart the next time they are engaged because you can’t copy another wedding idea that you’ve had. This was considered bad luck.

I found my way strolling around the edge of the shop. Picking up the shoes that had fallen off the wall. Moving the flower pots so they wouldn’t get broken, and picking up discarded dresses off the floor before they got stomped on.

It broke my heart to see girls in here who wanted the sale so badly treat the dresses so poorly. If we damage too many goods and don’t make enough money to cover those then we can’t do this anymore.

I scoffed at the thought of people trashing dresses like that. This was my business and it sucked allowing people in here who would just destroy every little thing.

I helped a few more girls find the correct size, answered a few questions about what size they really should be wearing, and helped zip up some dresses. I felt like I was getting so much work done, but every time I looked up the crowds were larger than they had been the second before. Carter was working like a machine, Clara had practically her portion of the shop under control, and all the other workers including Kylie were buzzing around doing whatever they could to help out.

The team was rushing and doing their best to manage everything, and they were doing a pretty damn good job at it. I was impressed.

The hours seemed to tick away, and I did my best to stay focused as long as possible. Everytime Clara would walk up to me I’d mock her with the word chicken, before I was able to pay attention to any questions. But it seemed like these people were running it so flawlessly without me. Everyone had been here for a couple of years, knowing what this sale was like.

I snuck back into the break room to take a quick little lunch. It was late, the clock ticking just past two as I was finally able to sit down. I pulled one of the sandwiches out of the fridge, as it was always kept stocked for the staff and took my seat at the table.  

Carter had avoided me all day. His eyes never glancing towards me, his words never within range. Everything was so calculated so that he could avoid me. It was getting on my nerves.

I let out a heavy sigh. Finally allowing myself to calm down enough to enjoy my food. The girls were still screaming in the lobby and there was still a line out front. My head was throbbing and I found that I needed sleep more than I thought I did.

Questions were being thrown at me like rapid fire and I just couldn’t keep up. I was thankful for the girls I worked with as they were able to keep the customers at bay. I hadn’t looked at the numbers yet today, and I did whatever I could to remind myself to check before I head home.

Wherever home was.

It was supposed to be with my fiance, in his house purchases just for the two of us. I had helped him with the process, we picked out the curtains together, the couches, everything in that house was a mutual decision between the two of us. I shook my head, realizing how much of a jerk I have been.

I should have already been moved into the house. I practically decorated it. It had so much of my personality throughout it’s design It was probably suffocating to Carter.

The door to the break room propped open with a click, startling me, pulling me from  my thoughts of Carter. Clara peaks her head around the edge of the door, obviously acknowledging my brooding exterior.

It was a matter of seconds before she was sitting next to me. Her arm wrapped around my shoulder as she held me close. The sandwich still in my hands as I turn to look at her.

“What’s wrong Erin?” She questions, her voice as soft as it could be.

“Carter hasn’t said a word to me since this morning,” I muttered. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Usually Carter and I would already have this figured out. He was avoiding me though and the more he did that the harder it would be to compromise, and then the wedding… oh god the wedding will be so awkward.

“What do you mean? Like are you guys in a fight?” Clara jumps from her seat and grabs her own sandwich from the fridge before returning to the empty chair and unwrapping the plastic lining. I nod my head. I wasn’t sure what else to say. Once I explained to her why he was mad she would understand and possibly be on his side.

“When we got home from the airport he asked me why I wasn’t living with him yet,” I paused for a moment. Her eyes searching my face before she closed them and let out a soft breath.

“Oh Erin, please tell me you didn’t say anything about Andrew,” She knew me better than I had expected. Her words cutting deeper than I had ever dreamed. I knew I was wrong. But hearing it from someone else made it hurt like a pain I’ve never felt.

“Yes,” I managed to finally spit out in a muffled cough. The tears were welling up in my eyes, but I wasn’t sure that was from me needing to cry or the sleep deprivation finally getting to me. I tried my best to avoid it. Turning my head and biting my lip to hold  back the tears that were threatening to spill.

“Oh Erin, you’ve got to realize that is such a soft spot for him, especially because you did choose Andrew over him, don’t hold Carter accountable for Andrew’s mistakes...or your own in another relationship.”

Now how was someone supposed to respond to that. She was absolutely correct. I’d been so mean to the man I love. The one I knew I was supposed to marry. Things were different with Carter than they were with Andrew and I found myself almost every single day treating them as if they were the same. Not trusting Carter to not hurt me. I planned on him breaking my heart, more and more every day we got closer to the wedding. My heart was racing in my chest when Clara mentioned that. Though I knew I was doing it all along it was something I needed to hear to change, and fix what I was doing.

“I’m not sure how to fix it now though, the wedding is so close and he doesn’t want to talk to me at all. Also we are so busy here at the shop that I’m not sure there will be time,” I tried my best to put on a fake smile. I didn’t want everyone else to notice how distraught I actually was. This shop needed a leader at a time like this, but I felt like I was crumbling.

“There will always be time for the people you love, don’t try and ploy that excuse. You are smarter than that,” Clara never let me wallow. She always put me in my place just like I needed her too.

“But if he won’t let me talk to him, what am I supposed to do?” The question was burning my lips as I spoke. I knew what I needed to do, it was just a matter of doing it.

“Get out there, pull him aside and talk to him. I shouldn’t have to tell you how to fix your relationship this close to the wedding. You and Carter and meant to be and you will always be meant to be. So figure it out, pick yourself up, and then get your ass back to work because we are drowning out here,” She smiled, one step out the door as she held the sandwich to her lips.

She took a large bite of it before closing the door behind her. Leaving me all alone in the silence of the afternoon air. I shook my head though, because even though she was right, there were still things that needed to come first, if only just this week.

I picked at my sandwich for a few more minutes, allowing my body to generate as much energy as possible before I needed to head back into Hell. If I could survive this week, then I could survive anything.

Throwing the excess away, I found myself pausing once again. Carter caught my eye as he stood tall behind the cashier. Stretching his back for just a moment before the next bride rushed up to him.

“Hell week will be over soon,” I muttered to myself. At least the reassurance was enough to help slightly.

~*~

Carter left early. He didn’t say goodbye, or let anyone know where he was going. He simply just slipped out, by passing everyone besides my mother, who had been relying on him all day.

A sharp pain shot through my heart as I tried my best to not let it affect me at the end of the day meeting. During Hell Week we did these daily, to help keep us organized and on top of things. I asked the girls if they wanted to stay late to clean up or handle it in the morning by coming in a little earlier.

Everyone opted to come in early, which amazed me. I agreed though, sending everyone home for the day. Clara held back to wait for me though. Her patiences never ceasing to amaze me every day. I smiled when I noticed her.

“You staying with Carter tonight?” She questions. I looked around the room one more time as if to remind myself that he wasn’t there before shaking my head.

“I don’t think I should. I’ll give him another day to cool off, get some rest and we will see how tomorrow goes,” I could sense she was disappointed at my answer. Maybe I should be carrying a load of my things over to his house tonight, but that doesn’t mean I had the energy to do so.

“Whatever you say,” Clara muttered. I decided not to answer. The pain of hurting her with my very own relationship was so surreal. It was confusing and not something I really wanted to think about right now.

“Let’s get heading home,” She muttered, holding the word home longer than she normally would. It was a weird transition period for the both of us. Soon we wouldn’t be living together anymore. She would be on her own again and I think that scared her. She was still seeing David. The boy she met in California, but that was difficult in it’s own sense, and she hardly knew him.

I could tell she was struggling with it. Wishing she was with him, wishing he was here. If I remembered correctly Carter had said he would be here for the wedding. He would travel, and visit ever so often as well. So it’s not like she was forever alone.

I still felt bad for her though. Considering I dragged her there, and she found love that she has never had before, only to be pulled away from it like it was something she would never have again.

Clara and I kept an even pace as we walked home, the warm snow falling around us. We didn’t share very many words, as there was nothing to talk about. But it was comforting to have her next to me as we walked. We both knew the walk all too well, and could manage it in our sleeps.

Oh sleep, that was the only thing I needed right now. The aches in my bones, the soreness in my muscles would hopefully all be gone tomorrow morning.

The thought of sleep seemed so soothing to me that I didn’t even care it was only seven. I was going to curl myself up in bed as soon as I got there. I wasn’t even sure I was going to have time to say goodnight.

Clara would understand right? I mean yesterday I was in paris, and today I worked all day with customers that just couldn’t figure out what the sale was really about. People asking the same question over and over. Do you have this dress in a different color, or what sizes can I get this in, I’m looking to lose forty pounds, do you think this will fit. I shook my head just thinking about the amount of times I had to answer each question.

Carter and my mother probably got the worst of it, since they were stuck in one spot. People could spot them easy, and attack them with questions before they even hit the floor.

I wondered if Carter was going to get some dinner. Or if he too was going to just hit the sheets and collapse in a heap of exhaustion. He did sleep a little longer than I had, but maybe he was up later. I had been so tired last night the fight didn’t even phase me. My eyes couldn’t possibly stay open long enough to figure any of it out.

The warmth of the apartment greeted me when Clara unlocked the door. We shimmied in quickly, kicked off our shoes, and each went our separate directions. Clara to the kitchen to make some sort of practice dish, as she was no longer working towards being vegan, while I slipped towards the bedroom that I called home. The sanctuary that would house me while I dream that night.

My heart ached at the thought of not having Carter next to me. His body always kept me warm. His arms wrapped around me as he pulled away most of the sheets. It would drive me crazy but tonight I found that I was craving it more than anything.

I probably should have talked to him today. Told him I was sorry and how I felt. Maybe that would have been too weird though. He obviously was content with not talking to me. Passing a mere text message without a response. One that I jumped out on a limb to  send.

He could really be so mean at times. But all the pain I've put him through, and everything he has dealt with in the last few month's made it all justifiable. This man moved across the country to be with me once more. I'd never be able to thank him enough for that.

So as my head hits the pillow, my eyes wishing for sleep, I can't help but think about how I really truly do love Carter more than anything else on this planet.