Winona Leicester
02:00 AM

Hendrix:
I finally get to hear your voice again.

I feel so much better now, and all it takes is your voice, though it hurts. It pains me a lot. So much. Too much to handle. I was even holding Cove's hand for support.

I'm not born to deal with death, you know that.

To compensate for not giving you birthday gifts, I'm gonna give you my version of how I felt. I'm using your format because I'm very bad at expressing emotions through writing.

The first time I appreciate you

Hmm

Maybe when you started bitching out to girls who tried to get my attention when I was in a really bad mood.

Is it weird? For me it's cute. Who would have thought you would just start rolling your eyes at someone with your arms closed?

I realized that you stood out among all of the girls I've met before. You're effortlessly funny.

Then, love..

The first time I realized it was love was when I talked to Tita Lindsay, Silas, Tita Dion, and all the doctors I could talk to on how to make you live longer.

I was a bit young at that time. Grade 12.

Hindi ko alam kung kanino ako tatakbo at hindi ko alam kung pano tatakasan yung sinasabi nila kasi they're all implying the cons of your situation.

When we went to California before first year college, I did the same pero mga doctor naman sa U.S. ang kausap ko. Nag book ako ng check ups tapos sinasabi ko yung condition mo. I was desperate na makarinig ng solution.

I always get the same answer.

Then I realized I was madly and crazy in love with you at the same time you realized it. It just happened. We were crazily laughing about some things that weren't even funny.

Also the first time I brushed your hair with my hands. Pinapatulog kita that time. I love it. Kahit amoy chemicals ang buhok mo, I love how it smells and feels on my hand.

Those times I was trying to tell you I love you, I would look at you to see if you're in the mood then you laugh and push my face. Sometimes you just ignore it.

I would nervously laugh because I always thought I was hard to read but somehow, you could read me well and weirdly kasi minsan you just nudge me and tell me na nag ooverthink na ako then I'll realize na oo nga, I was really overthinking.

This is hard but I'll take care of our Clover. Don't worry, I'll introduce you well. I will bring her to your house and detail everything she needs to know about you.

I'm sure she'll love to take over
that house someday.

And no, I will not lose the ability to love, Winona. But to love someone like I love you? I don't think someone can make me do that again.

Walang papalit sayo. I hope you had peace with that before you left. I can spend my entire life listening to your recordings and going through your books and cds.

Sobrang mahal kita. I'm thankful we kept our love like this. Walang nakialam. Walang tanong galing sa iba. Walang pressure sa paligid. Our love is just ours to keep.

We were never really friends,
are we, Winona?