Percy

There's only one gay guy here who is the straight one.

Hey, what's up? I'm kind of gay and also really insecure about it. If I told Nico, he'd probably actually hate me forever. Which wouldn't be good. I like Nico. And I'll take what I can get. Even if that means awkward friendship.

After he sat down, I didn't know what to do.

"Do you have paper?" He asked me after an awkward ten minutes.

"Uh, yeah!" I said, trying to keep my anxiety to a low. I gave him a sketchbook I had, completely blanking that he would see all my drawings.

It's not like I draw us or him (aside once, but I've drawn most of my friends) or anything. But it's just embarrassing.

To this day, Annabeth and Grover don't know I like to make art. And I intended to keep it that way. Despite you know, going to an art college this summer.

"Oh my gods," the son of Hades remarked as he looked at every single drawing in that sketchbook. "This is... Amazing. You're really good at drawing, Percy. I didn't beg for an artsy guy."

"Uh, thanks..." I said. "But I'm really not that good."

"Oh, bullshit," he called me out. "Why didn't I know about this sooner?"

"Well like... I don't know." I tried to answer that question, failing. "It's not like anyone else knows."

"Oooh," I guess that had his attention for one reason or another. "So you don't like to show other people?"

"Not really, no."

"Well that's just a damn shame," Nico told me as he took a photo of the drawings he was in. One of just him. Then there was one that had multiple people, he was just one of them. "Because you're really good."

"I don't know what you're—"

He got to the thing I forgot I drew. The whole pride drawing I made that I never wanted another living soul to see. Because it didn't say straight supporter like the one I posted did.

My heart stopped. My anxiety went through the roof, and I was on the verge of a panic attack.

I started pacing, I couldn't even hear what Nico was hearing. Because I just spiraled downwards back into the hole that took me heard to crawl out of. And I didn't even get out of it. I just learned to ignore it. To say that it wasn't there.

My hands went over my ribs, the memories rushing back. The memories I closed off when I got amnesia. That I just tried to convince myself were dreams. Gabe would never say that. He'd never do that.

I fucking gave up. On everything. Because what's the fucking point anymore? Every guard I had up, Nico has tore down in a single night. What's one more thing?

Go big or go home. It's not he gives a shit about me anyways. Not like I do for him.

My legs stopped working, and I was on the floor. And I tried. It just pushed against my chest and up my throat, where everything else was. And it had its own bitching time.

I've held it in for almost 15 years. For as long as I can remember, I have held this in because it didn't being anywhere else. My art didn't belong where else. I didn't deserve a man. I barely fucking deserved a woman. If you assume I even deserve to be alive.

It didn't even feel real.

I just screamed.

Jason

We we're hauling ass to cabin 3, because I guess this wasn't going well. It wasn't our idea. It was Piper's idea, we just agreed to it. Everyone knew about it. Nobody objected.

I mean, what's the worst that happens? They argue over dumb shit? They don't talk?

It was about 2 minutes after the call, and we we're almost there.

All you could hear was this heartbreaking, traumatic scream. And because of how painful it was, we had no idea who it was.

We kind of assumed Nico. It was a text from Percy's phone that we got. It would make sense that Nico was freaking out. I figured it was about coming out. Telling him.

The like 8 of us fucking tested our cardio strength getting to that cabin and into Percy's room. Where Percy was on the floor, ignoring anything and everything that came out of Nico's mouth. Nico was next to him, sitting down, trying to calm him down.

When he knew damn well that it wasn't going to well. It was far beyond that stage.

I don't know what happened in that room earlier today with Annabeth. I don't know why Percy got pissed off. Why he yelled at her. Why he stormed off. I'm not entirely sure why Nico would take off after him when it basically got nothing done. Why we were dumb enough to think this was a good idea.

I don't know what happened to Percy.

But he shattered like glass.

We let him be because there wasn't a way to get through to him. And we asked Nico what happened.

"I don't know," Nico told us, still trying to figure it out. "I mean, it was weird at first. Neither of us talked for a while. But I asked if he had paper. I was bored. I figured I could draw or something. And he hands me, and you never tell this to another soul because he didn't even want me knowing, a sketchbook full of drawings that I imagine had blanks. And he was really good. I told him that, and he did the whole oh whatever I'm not that good thing that everyone does. But he was talking about how he doesn't really talk about his art and when I got to this page, he just froze up. And I don't even know what it was, I got half of a glance at it before he started pacing the room, basically having a panic attack."

"So it was a drawing," Leo stated, as lost as the rest of us. "That he made? Why would that set him off?"

"I don't think it was the drawing itself," the son of Hades explained. "I think it was that I saw it. Like say you're bi, Leo. Whatever, big whoop. And you make friends with this one person. They're really nice. You guys get along perfectly. You're like best friends. But they're homophobic. And you don't know that until you come out to them. Or you know and you do everything you can to make sure they don't find out because they're still your friend. For you, being bi I'd nothing new. But for somebody new to find that out..."

"It might end as a fucking shit show." Leo finished off, nodding his head. "Do you remember any of what it said?"

"I think it was like a portfolio, meet the artist sort of deal." Nico told us. "So there's probably something there. Just as long as he's fine by breakfast tomorrow."

Percy

Waking up on the floor at 3 in the morning is an experience that doesn't happen to me too often. Waking up in the middle of the night, sure. But I'm in bed. And it's because of a nightmare.

I couldn't recall a nightmare. So this was random. I looked at my phone, and turned down the brightness.

When I saw the sketchbook is when it came back to me. What happened.

The anxiety attack it gave me.

I should text Nico. I probably scared him what what happened, maybe other's, too. I'm not sure what happened after all of that.

So I texted him. And, being it was the middle of the night, he didn't answer.

But I felt bad. And after reading over that dumb thing a few times, I called him.

I needed to do this if I was going anywhere with my life. He's going to be worried. I might as well talk to him. He knows I have anxiety. That I draw. He might know what was on there. I don't even know what he managed to get from it before I freaked out.

Taking an anxiety pill, I hit the call button. And it ring three and a half times before he answered. I almost gave up.

"I don't know who this is," he was half asleep and it was really cute. "But it's like the... 3 in the morning. You should go back to bed."

"Um..." Well shit, now what? "I just woke up. Sorry. I'm kind of dumb sometimes."

"Wait," Nico said and responded after a moment or two. "Percy? Have you gone to bed?"

"I just woke up." I repeated myself. "So probably. I really don't remember what happened after I just freaked out. Small things. I know I screamed. You were there. I don't know how long you stayed. It wouldn't have made a difference, I passed out anyways. But uh... I'm sorry. I'm dumb. I probably freaked you out really bad."

"Yeah," he responded, waking up. "You did kind of freak me out. That's why I texted Jason and told him to unlock the doors. The whole group came. They won't ask, though. Just in case it salts a wound. I told them to just wait on questions."

"Oh, uh..." I didn't think that he would actually do that. I expected him to make a huge deal out of me being gay and telling everyone he knew. Ruining me. "Thanks. You... You didn't have to do that."

"Yeah I did," Nico insisted. "Was there an actual purpose to this call being at such a time? Do you need me over?"

"I mean you don't have to," I didn't want to seem as pathetic as I was. But at the same time, I'm pathetic. "But yeah..."

He let out a breath.

"Don't do anything dumb in the two minutes it'll take me to get ready and be there."

"Okay."

So I sat there. On my floor. Almost hugging my blanket for the next two minutes until he shadow travelled here. Had he not done that, the harpies would probably eat him alive.

I didn't realize that I still looked like shit.

"Oh, Percy," he said as Nico came over and sat down by me, giving me a hug. "It's been a hell of a night."

I nodded my head, agreeing with that.

"So what's up?"

"Do you really want that answer?"

He rolled his eyes, holding on to my arm. I think it was a way of support. But I don't know. I've never done this before.

"If I didn't want the fucking answer I'd be asleep right now," my crush of a long period of time insisted, which. "Spill."

"I just..." It was harder to say it than to think of it in my head. "When I was little, my mom got married to this guy. I don't remember shit from the wedding. It was a long time ago. I think I was like 2. But anyways, this guy was an asshole."

"I figured." Nico told me.

"What did you see from the thing earlier?"

"Not much," he assured me, shrugging. "I mean, I figured it must've been a portfolio or something. But actual stuff from it, I got nothing. Why?"

"Because that means I started to freak out over nothing." I clarified. "But like, this guy, his name was Gabe. He was mean. I never knew that he actually hurt my mom until the last time I saw him, when he almost hit her and the look in her eyes just gave it away that it wasn't the first time. He hurt me, too."

I paused for a second and he rubbed my arm. Giving me time to talk. To breathe.

"Physically, of course." I started to list off what Gabe did to us. "Verbally he was pretty open about that. He always threatened that if I told my mom he beat the shit out of me, I'd never live to do it again. She never knew about it. She still doesn't. Emotionally, too, I guess. Sexually. That was my problem with earlier and... Yeah. He did things."

Stopping, I just kind of looked down. I've never opened up to anyone before. It was fucking terrifying. I can't imagine doing this all the time. Telling this to person after person after person.

"And he just twisted how I thought." It was hard to get it out. But I couldn't let it just sit there anymore. "When I was like... I think I was 9 or 10. It was a while before camp. But I had a friend over. So Gabe had backed off due to company. And when he left to go home later that day, Mom asked me like who he was so she could write it down next to like his mom's number or something. And I said something along the lines of his name and I asked Mom if she thought he was cute because I thought he was cute and so did this other girl in our class and... I never opened my mouth after that day. He was never allowed to come back, either. And Gabe just beat it into me. For fucking years. That I'm straight. And I'm a piece of shit that doesn't deserve anything. And just..."

Sure, he probably figured it out. But I didn't say it. And I needed to say it.

"I'm gay."